I want to smoke the rain
until my lungs gasp for air
until my hands turn blue
and instead of blood
I will have water sifting
through my veins

so when you hold me tight
I can drown you in the fog
that consumes me
entirely and thoroughly
and even though our
physical realm has crumbled
may our dream realities
coexist
and intertwine
like wool yarn,
knitting socks for
all the questions I
remembered not to ask

“How can you fall in love so easily?”

or more importantly,

“How can you just stop?”

The rain falls into my stairwell,
For my home is falling apart as I am.

-M.H.-

for you my dear
I am an Autumn leaf
carelessly falling
without a sense in
my mind.

I laid under the sky on a bed of down
Wishing that you could be with me.
Staring at the black sky with patterns
Of sparkly green and blue,
I think of a sky filled with cotton, only
In our world.
Because in the dark days or cold nights,
It would be the only thing we know.
Pulling the sky down on top of us to keep warm,
All the while, utilizing our heat and lust to
Amplify.
Ghost your fingertips across my hips, dear.
Gently bite my neck, dear.
Drag your callouses down my legs, dear.

Send shivers down my spine, dear.

But you can't. Not yet.
We can still dream, and we can still imagine.

Dream for me; the sky of silk and cotton waits at the inside of your eyelids,
Enticing and beautiful. Picture the world where nothing else matters
And feel my touch, hear my heart beat.
See the sky of silk and cotton blur and fade as we drown in eachother.

The lights of the city sparkle from outside my window.
They, this view, will always remind me of you.

Water splashes down at my face and up at my boots as I walk these cobbled streets
- the same ones we used to stroll
hand in hand
white dog in tow
glancing up at the brownstones we passed
and joking how we'd live there one day.
Only I wasn't joking..

Remember when you kissed my face
and wrapped the strength of your arm around my shoulder like I was yours,
the only one?
I do...

Because the thing is I'm going to miss you.
I'm going to ache for you
and maybe cry myself to sleep a time or two.
I wonder if it will ever be easy to let you go
the way it was for you.

I'm not sorry I have to go;
I shouldn't have to convince you to love me.
But I wonder if you will remember me
and each night we spent wrapped in each other's arms
watching movies and knocking my laptop to the floor
because we were so eager to touch.

These are the things I need to know.
Because as I stand near this window
and watch the lights flicker on with twilight
I remember you waiting there,
watching you throw your bag over your shoulder.
I remember waiting for the smile and wave that never came
and the call that never rang..

and still
it was the sweetest goodbye I've ever known.