talk to me
just
please
talk to me
i am alone and
i feel insignificant
while everyone else is going going going
on without me
please just talk to me

1- i'm scared i'll end up like you when i grow up
#2- i'm scared i'll forget our time together
#3- i'm scared you'll go further in life than me
#4- i'm scared we won't keep in touch once we graduate
#5- i really want you to be in my life
#6- sometimes i feel like we don't even know each other, but we're best friends
#7- i like your attention but don't like you
#8- i don't know what i'll do when you die
#9- i compare myself to you obsessively
#10- i think i really like you

someone said your name the other day
while i was passing her in the hallway and
a shiver ran down my spine and
down through the very tips of my toes
and the possibilities and potentialities rush
through my head as i imagine
movie marathons, with our toes touching under a blanket and
snowball fights even though we live nowhere near the snow

it creeps over me
and i always know when it's coming
you could say i invite it in
playing its favorite music
luring it with sleeping leisure
until there's no time left
and it grins up at me
and bites

its kinda funny
how i can create trees
of someone
and he can create flowers
of me
but our wires don't cross
and plants suffocate
nothing happens

when i think to myself i want to talk to you
you could be anyone
you could be someone i haven't met yet, who i could have an instant connection with
you could be one of my friends that wouldn't know what to say
you could be my dad from wherever nothingness he is
but i think i know who i want you to be right now

there's a difference between the meaning of
"i'm sad" and "i'm sad inside"
just being sad, externally, is fleeting
it's in response to a bad grade
a fight with someone close
it passes and it's okay to feel that way

being sad inside, eternally, doesn't leave
it's just there
you can feel it in your bones
a hollowness that you can't really explain to your friends
without sounding like a pretentious young adult novel character
it's been there for a while

i'm okay on the outside i guess
i have days where i feel alright
but i'm sad inside
and the sadness has become a part of me