I wish I was the fire  behind your words
I wish I was the blood inside your love
I wish I knew the wraith of your anger
I wish I knew the passion of your lust
I wish I knew the pain of your tears
I wish I knew what was hiding in your
  darkness that drove your fears
I wish I could build you a ladder that
  went deep into the night
I wish I could show you the endless
  fountain were only true love swims
I wish I could take you to where dreams
  and magic are part of every breath
I wish I could give you a love to fall
  upon that wouldn't break if it ever
    fell on rocky shores
But I've searched the sky night after night
  and haven't found a star that could
    hear my timid voice

My heart never so open
To breaking
My soul never so ready
For the taking
I am hoplessly fallen
Given to madness
Sickly in love
Dreaming
Dreaming dreams
In my every breath
In and out
Another dream
Of you
I keep falling
As I've fallen
Through time
And logic
Only madness
Crashing through
The floor
And earth
No stopping
My descent
Fallen to these dreams
Begging for realease
Break my soul
And take my heart
My life
My love
My inspiration
All yours
For the talking

I walked past a half dozen cockroaches
scurrying on the sidewalk
and I thought how odd
we see them as filthy disgusting bugs
surviving by scavenging through our waste
when we're the ones turning the planet
into our own private trash bin

too many of us waste the day
looking for answers to questions
we have completely forgotten

we are lost out on a road
that is going nowhere
we sleep in beds
that are dreamless

we fill our hearts
with artificial sweetener
because we fear being alone
our bodies sit side by side
while our minds drift off
to separate worlds
and we define this as love

strangers to each other
strangers to ourselves

we ignore our true passions
our true desires
afraid of the fire
afraid of letting our blood
bleed through our chests
afraid of the only thing
we shouldn’t fear

the true beauty of love

and if we could face our fear
what would we find
what questions would we ask
if we found ourselves in front of

the true beauty of love

would we have any questions
or would we only have the answer
to a question that
never had to be asked
that never dared wander
through the chambers of our hearts
the hallways of our minds

then were would
this road take us
what dreams would
we find in our beds

what would we become
if we filled our lives
our lungs
our hearts
with the true beauty of love

Its raining hard outside
And I should slow down
The roads are wet and dangerous
But I'm already a wreck inside
And I'm madly desperate to reach you
It's cold out there in the dark
And it's raining from my eyes
It's flowing like a river
And its already begun to flood
I'm drowning in ever moment
I'm breathing it in with every breath
And I'm just dying to tell you...
I'm just dying to say it...
And I can't...
I want to end every message with it...
I want to start and end every poem with it...
Write it on every leter of every line and all the space inbetween...
Stuff it in every sound of every word...
But I'm hoplessly afraid of it...
It is living and singing and dancing in my heart
And it has made all things beautiful
And I don't know what to do with it
And I don't know how to handle it
All I can do is watch and listen
As it repeats the same
Three words
Over and over again
And I try to repeat along
But nothing comes out
Accept the ache
And pain of it
That beautiful hurt
Right before my
Heart breaks

we sometimes so desperately
cling to summer
that we a scarcely notice
the passing of autumn
what a shame it is to miss
the funeral dance
of the falling leaves
no longer green or gold
they clutter the ground
in the fading colors of rust

before we know
winter rides in on a chill breeze
wearing a mischievous smile
and what an odd thing
that we don't take warmth
in fresh fallen snow
fingertips growing numb
red cheeks
a runny nose
children giggling as only they can
so far away from the seasons
were their hearts will know
the weight of gravity
life will one day carry

what a waste we make of youth
too little do we realize
how wonderful it is
to know so little
yet believe in so much
magic hats
skating snowmen
quite mice
flying sleighs
saints of kringle
back when winter lit our hearts
with cozy fires
roasted marshmallows
sips of too hot hot coco

so long ago before we wasted winter
on wishes for days of spring
back when we knew so little
yet believed in so much
before we knew
how to be desperate
how to cling
to wasteful thoughts
wasteful things

back before we lost
the wonder of believing
the joy of simple things
and how to take comfort
in the warmth of winter

Dead men have their grieving wives
and oceans have their graveyards
and all I have left is an empty sky
and time barking at my heels
and I wonder what happened
to the young man who once painted the night
with the stars from his dreams
as he slept upside down from the smile of the moon

I wonder if he’s dead

I wonder if I killed him

because he was better at imagining love
than I was at talking care of it
I wonder if I pushed him from a high cliff
and quickly retreated before his screams
became a flat thud of crushed bones

I wonder if I buried him under dirt and fear
under the obligations of failing to try
I wonder what could have been
if I had gone right instead of left
on one of those long cold nights
when the road was going nowhere

I look in the mirror
and nothing stares back at me
not even a ghost
just an empty world
inside an empty room
trapped inside empty eyes
that have lost their color

and I wonder if
he is still better at imagining love
than I am at taking care of it

"Did you see it?  Oh... god, please tell me you saw that.  It was ******* beautiful, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  I mean... I never... never saw anything... ANYTHING.... GOD.... just tell me you saw that....  It h..ha..happened so fast...was...was that even real.  It was crazy.... Her hand, it just...She just slipped it right through his chest... like he was a ghost or just air... and pulled out his HEART.  It was a beautiful thing to watch... and the air went electric, you could feel it in the  air... so much love.  His heart, there in her hand, it was singing and purring.  I never felt so miserably happy in my whole ****** life.  What a thing to see,  watching it beat there in her hand, It was flopping around in her hand like a fish, jumping, and I swear, barking and whining like a little puppy.  It filled the air with such love and happiness...oh... If I could have just stayed there in that air.  Then she smiled, and he... he was smiling too, the whole time, frozen with his eyes glazed over, a hauntingly beautiful smile... but her smile...wow... I couldn't breathe or move either.  God and the Devil, they would have wept to see such a beautiful smile.  And then she kissed his heart and I swear,  you could just tell...it kissed her back...  The electricity and music in the air,  it grew louder... it was like heaven and hell opened up and ever angel and devil and god and demon started playing a symphony.  Then,  this was the best part, she pulled wings out of thin air and started to sew them onto his heart... while it was still beating and singing and  jumping  around in her hand.   What a show... Unbelievable.  The wings came to life as she tied off the last stich... they streched out their feathers and then flew off with his heart... And... then they both turned to smoke and vanished.  Can you still hear it... the music... Can you still feel it... The love, here in the air... Its... Its amazing right... I could just stay here forever... couldn't yo...Hey, where did you go...where'd everyone go?... Hello..."  *
But he was alone...
No one was there and it suddenly went black and he felt empty and he knew before he put his hand over his chest... his heart was gone

She moved with a certain kind of madness that was invisible to everyone else, but to me it glared like a beacon of light calling out the demons in my soul. Her teeth were bleached white but I could smell the blood of all the countless souls she had  devoured over her life. I was dead before she even said a word and I was just another stain on her pearly whites as the morning sun crept over my corpse.

Love exists as an absolute
Or as a void
As flame
Or as smoke
As living
Or dying
When you have it...
Care for it absolutely
Let it fill your every fiber
Give it your everything
And every thought
Belong to it
For if you let it slip
Mistreat or abuse
Feel only half heartedly
It will leave its void
And that is what
You will become
A void of love
Walk into its flame
Let it burn and consume
Your all
Your body
Your soul
Your heart
Tend to the fire
And you become part
Of its flame
To forever burn
Without turning to ash
But without your all given
To hold back
Half in and half out
You will be reduced
To cinders and smoke
And vanish to air
Live in it absolutely
Love is to give
More than you take
Don't let lust
Mislead you
Walk the line with grace
No less than two steps to give
For every one that you take
It is easy to die here
Tread carefully
Stride with passion
Embrace the unknown
With wonder
Not fear
For fear is a shadow
Much colder than death
And death is often
The result of fear
And if you do die here
Know this
One day
You will exist again
You will live again
Absolutely again
In love again
And when you do
Care for it with your every fiber
Your every thought
Belong to it with your
Everything
With your body
And heart
And soul
Become the fire
And the flame
And forever burn
Always
To give
With wonder
And passion
To live in love
Is to never
Need fear dying
Or death
For in love
We all become
Immortal

write me down in a tragedy
tie me up with metaphor
devour me with pleasures sin
****** me with lust
steal my last breath of love

would you be
the queen of muses
would I be
the fool of kings

what am I doing here
lost within the stars
I can only imagine
as your eyes

what secrets could I find
in the garden of your night
is there more than
forbidden fruit
hanging from the vines

would the sweetness
quench my thirst
or would I need more
and more
until I found
my tongue tied
my teeth rotted
my mouth dry
still hungering
still wanting
one more taste

what am I doing here
lost in a tragedy
tangled in metaphor
staggering between
pleasure and sin
murdered by lust
while stealing from love

Stripping the spines of Angels
Playing the part of God
I could make you ugly
But you are Beautiful
As you are

Hatred seeping
Out in plain sight
From followers
Of presidential
Hopefulls
And men
Of law
And politics
Trying to protect
Murders and
Spawns of
Predators and
******
Over the
Hearts and
Lives of
The
Women
Who have
Done nothing
Other than
Existing
Stupidity
Dripping from
Their foaming
Mouths
Pretending
It's to
Protect
Religion
But what
Hate filled
God
Could ever
Excuse
Their actions?
Who can
Save us
Now
That we've
Showed
Our ugly
Truth
Gathered
In the
Streets
Putrid hearts
And
Blood and bones
Deadly fists
Of judgment
Time and space
Such
Dreadful waste
Please
Tell me
I'm not
Human

There was a slow naivete to her smile
And a smooth wink hiding in her eyes
Her hair framed her face with an innocent grace
And it all seemed simple enough
The magic dancing in the air
The soft hues of the midnight sky
The gentle push of fate
But he was far too shy
And she never knew
Never knew
How close
He came
He came to falling
Falling in love
Slow and naive
For her
Beautiful grace

some stand
at the edge of abyss
and hear music
enjoy the silence
know that it doesn't
always need to be ok
carry the cold of winter
inside their marrow
some feel this
is the last safe place
their hearts can beat
can breath safely

this is where I saw her
dancing with ****** feet
a recklessness to her pulse
a wild child
an old soul
a delicate being
something both
broken and beautiful

she never said
a word out loud
she smiled though
there in the darkness
despite the gloom
the pain
the grief
that brought us each here

a simple act of kindness
a small gift of love

I smiled back
and never said a word

The service of slavery
  the whips made of chains
                    or
  the chains made of whips
The handle in the hands
  as as the same bodies wearing
  shackles around their ankles
The fool is the master looking
  at his own face as a slave
But how to break free?
Who has the key?
WHO HAS THE KEY?

Let us live as we are the letters dancing
around inside our hearts that turns our blood
into the painful art of poetry

Let us inhale and exhale and take in
and breath out all the love
that is always there in the air
and with full lungs let us shout out
into the infinite silence


and

       emptiness                                    

                                         of

                         space


and dance in the echo that bounces back to us

Let us hear the music in the silence
of the stars above us
and let our feet find heaven
in the earth we walk upon
for we need not die before we enjoy
the rewards of a life well lived
for a life well lived is a reward onto itself
let us be kind and generous
    
              with the time
        
                                     our hands carry

              and the love

our hearts

            
          have to give


                   for tomorrow is not guaranteed


            and today carries the gift

and burden
      
       and beauty
        
    of possibly being our last

Let us forgive ourselves
for the wrongs we have done
and those that have wronged us
carry nothing from today
into tomorrow
   that will way us down
we will fail and we will fail again
but let us not stop
  getting up
    again
      and
       again

We have already won
the most important race of our lives
back when we found a home
in our mothers belly long ago
and life is no different
   or more cruel
      or less beautiful
as it was as we learned to crawl
  and then to walk
    and then to run
      and jump
        and dance
and as we fell back then
we instinctively got back up
  and tried
    and tried
      again

Let us not forget how beautiful
a journey we have already been on

Let us be grateful for all the tomorrows
and pages of the stories
we may still have to live and write yet
let us not fear death but find it adds value
to every extra day we wake up
   every new breath we take
     every smile we see
       and every smile we give back

be kind to strangers

let us not let the milk of human kindness
  spoil and go to waste
let us help those in need as our responsibility
and let no opportunity in doing so go to waste
   we are all
     of the same earth
       the same bones
        the same flesh
         the same blood
          the same heart
          
Let the only place we find hate in our vocabulary
be in the innocence of our children’s words
when expressing they do not like their green beans
or aunts fruit cake
let us learn as much from our children
as we fumble through teaching them

   how horribly beautiful
      and terrifying life can be

Let us remember magic is only as real
  
     as we make it

and can only survive

    by us believing in it

and this is a far more important and valuable lesson
than anything money can buy
and the most treasured and sacred magic of all

is made from love

let us never forget this
let our children never forget this
and let their children’s children
always protect this as long
as we may live here on this earth
and in whatever may wait for us
as our bodies return to dust and ash

Let us find the wisdom to know that true beauty
is nothing we could ever see with our eyes
and let us have the wisdom to be blinded
by the colors of love in the things we cannot see
and in finding these things to be true
may we walk forward from this day forth
and know that beauty is the thing we feel
in the letters dancing in our hearts
that turns our blood
into the painful art of poetry

In my heart he lays
  softly, gently, sleeping
In my heart he flys
   soaring through sky and clouds
In my heart he plays
  laughing, growing bigger every day
And in his heart you would see
  me dreaming just the same
And I wish he never had to go
Not for a day
Not for a moment
But when he's there and I'm here
In our hearts were still playing, laughing, dreaming, loving
We're never apart inside our hearts

Should it be a matter of faith
Or humanity
Is there a need to draw a line between love and lust
Or is it simple a matter of swimming
In the dull grey matter that connects us all
In the obvious knowledge we were all born
And we're all going to meet death
And the things that separate us are only guessed at best
Pray to your hearts content
But refrain judgment  and tolerate
Those with different views
Its one world
So give one love
Unite and celebrate
Our differences
Because in the end
The only person you might find
When you die
Is you

Her heart was made of the dream of humming birds
Her belly held the promise of laughter
Her eyes were the stars above heavens cloud
Her skin was the soft white of porcelain
Her hair was made of threads of translucent silk and black fire
Her lips held the secret kiss of beauty
Her breath was the warmth of life
She walked the earth and glided through the fabric of dreams
To see her smile
Was only the first step
Over the edge
As one found themselves
Falling through an infinite night
Through the endless depths
Of an ocean of love

Only on the floor of a stage
Only between the pages of a book
Only in the sound of a song
Will love bloom in an instant
Will a first kiss outlast time
Will the moment pause and become eternity
Only here in the make belive
Only here in whispered dreams
Only here in Shakespeare wishes
Will life pass in a blink
Will ribbons flow like blood
Will the dead rise to take a bow
Under the spotlight
After the last curtain
On an empty stage
In a blank book
In an unwritten song
I will fall for you
Again
And again

Beauty is not seen with our eyes
it is only felt with our hearts
and the truth of love
is the only beauty
we need find in this life

She had eyes that never aged
and was beautiful in ways
that would never fade
she told lullabies to dying stars
and collected their last tears
and mixed them with her own
she comforted the long lasting branches
that wept on every tree
as the seasons of life and death
saw every leaf grow and fall and fade
hers was the heart of kindness
and her hands the weavers of generosity
she knew far too much
about suffering and sickness
and all the heartache life had to offer
but she never cried once
over her own pains or misery
she had too much to do
and too many to care for
to not smile through
the horribleness of it all

I always paid too much pain to the details
And her kiss was always laced with malice and teeth
But I didn't have anything better to do
And I loved the colors of her misery
She knew how to move in the dark
And I couldn't resist the urge
When the look in her eyes said everything
  I could ever want to hear
She never lied though
But she was always lying
Lying in her sleep
Lying as she walked
Lying with those eyes
Lying with that mouth
Lying naked
Lying and living the lie
Watching her move in the dark
I was willing to believe
And I just couldn't resist the urge
I just loved the details

Worn down pencils and broken pens
Fingertips bleeding while words keep hammering down
Tears splash on the page
From the hearts  burning from rage
Let the naked truth consume
All you need is you
Let compassion drive your passion
Let kindness be your face
Use your words to pick the fallen up
Don't waste time trying to drag our brothers and sisters down
Only ego is at stake
When you use your voice
To spread ignorance and hate
Raise to mindfulness and wisdom
We are all one and the same
We can unite and survive
Survive and grow
Grow and thrive
Thrive and live
Hand to hand to hand
Not fist to fist to fist
Let fingers tangle
And souls converse
Let all eyes go blind
As our hearts learn
To make no distinction
Based on religion or race
One world one word
One love
Spread it like wildfire
And we will have
Heaven on earth
Let the gods retire
No more need to pray
On the day
We accept
Love as our
Only fate

My words failed me the night I could have saved your life
And my silence only strengthened her choice
Then the fetus in her womb became the child to haunt me as I sleep
And I dreamed of tears I would never wipe away
And I dreamed of the laughter I would never dance to hear
And I can only watch you grow on the nights I weep while sleeping

Bending natute to our will
something not right?  
here we got a pill
to chase away your cough
your sneeze
your will
prozac painted plastic smile
go ahead and swim down to the bottom of the bottle
there aint' nothing we can't cure
just ask that model
dressed up as the doc
not one line is rehearsed
it's all real
the disease inside your head
the monster in your bed
the cancer in your heart
the pills might make you **** your pants
or think of suicide more clearly with more conviction
but not to worry we got that covered too
just add another bottled cure to the list
you'll make it out alive
as long as you keep our stocks up high
the American dream dressed up to the nines
the peddler pusher on his leash
made of solid gold
and diamond bottomed shoes
keep' em high on their lows
keep' em coming back
keep' em sick
with that carrot on a stick
there's no profit in the cure
keep bending nature back
no free will
no free pills

I'm weightless and I'm falling
Not up
Not down
Not left
Not right
Just forever falling
All through the day
All through the night

Cut the eggs
Whisk the bacon
Fires on the plate
Dinner ate the bone
My mind went stray
The day my heart
Flew away
To listen to
Your song
Cooking breakfast for two
Sitting at a table for one
Pouring two cups of coffee
In only one cup
The overflow spilling out
Unnoticed like the
Empty space left
Under the skin
Of my love

Not every storm brings bad weather
You will know my love like a tropical rain
Is meant to wash the grey and pain away
To reveal the paint and the magic Swirling yellow in your vincent blue
As the light of that starry starry night
Not every cloud of doubt may stay
You will know my love to be the wind
And leave only trace of silver lines
In skys where only star and moon may shine
In the waters of ocean blue within your endless eyes
Not every thunder cry carries only doom
You will know my love by the beat and boom
Of the pulse flowing from my heart
My soul to sheild your ears from
Monsters whispers and demons lie
And then you will hear sweet and pure
The reason I hold you so beautiful and dear
As your song resonates through the air

She wore her lips in perfect shades
of red and sin
and stood there in dreams
of crushed black velvet and lust
and had him tied down
with soft silk pink ribbons of love and desire
and he his heart beat hard against his chest
and she slide her hand between his ribs
and plucked it out
and held it between their mouths
and asked in a hushed whisper
of words that hung
from the stars of a prayer

“What is this for...  
if not to dream...
if not to live...
if not to love?”

and she smiled wearily and weakly
and then placed his heart in his hand
and said to him

“see... it’s still warm...
still alive...
you are not dead....
not beyond hope...”

and with the sound of wind and wings
she was gone
and the soft velvet dream
faded to cold dark black
and he was alone
with his heart in his hand
still beating
still warm
and he put it in his mouth
and swallowed it
along with his pride and his shame
and closed his eyes
ready for the pain and the tears
that would be waiting for him
as death is inevitably in life
so is waking from dreams
and his time with dream
was now at an end

I can't say I know who or what I am at this point in my life but I can tell you with absolute certainty that when I look at the stars and the moon in the deep dark of the night I know I'm not human and that I don't belong here and if you can hear this and not think that I am crazy you might just be mad enough for me to stay here with or to sit down together and plan our escape

what is she but a hope or a wish
a dream or a penny full of bad luck
a butterfly wing or a switchblade knife
placed with precision between two ribs
delirium and delusion as bride and groom
but not girl and boy
just bones and bones
husband and wife
without any parts to tell who's who
just a spark and a flash
of lives lived and loved
loves loved and died
death dreamt and slept
dreams slept and cried
tears flooded and drowned
flowers drenched
whiskey drank
porcelain chipped and cracked
last kiss of the first
death of reason
birth of madness
suffering murdered
pain given black wings
a heart stiched with the vane of a lost feather
once used by a god to write a letter and draw a map
while spending a life wandering a road under the shade of a tree
or was she sitting beneath the mist of a wave waiting for a bus to stop somewhere between eternity and oceans end
she was so long ago and sometime soon
that I can only hope and wish
that she will be the dreams of a penny that is all out of luck
just sleeping in the sun
waiting to be loved