Kiss me in the down pour of the rain
Love me through the death of my heart
Give me eternity inbetween the minutes of the setting sun
Show me forever in the reflection of the moon
Breath life back into dreams
Sew wings back on to hope
Blow wishes back into the wind
Sit with me beneath a tree
And let me fall with the leaves

I see the darkness in the world
and stare into the corners of its ugly truths
and witness the obscenely criminal neglect
of our own humanity
I hear the silent echoes escaping the abyss
from the pleas of the lost and the lonely and the desperate
and I recognize my own voice among them

I feel the fear of love being lost and thrown away and ignored

And I hurt and I weep and I worry

But I do not turn away
not from the darkness
or the ugly truths
or the criminal neglect

I break the silence and scream
to the lost
and the lonely
and the desperate

And I reach my hand to love
for I will not let it get lost
or be thrown away
or ignored
and i will not let it die in fear

For without love
the world would be swallowed by darkness
consumed by its ugly truths
crumble from its own neglect

but with love
we can survive the darkness
sink to the bottom
and rise back out of the abyss
help the lost and the lonely
and the desperate and our selves

and we can hurt for love
and we can weep for love
and have no need to worry

I crawled down the rabbit hole
And this is what I found
A flood of ****** and an empty purse
A ghost of Alice and a foots curse
A grave full of flowers and a queen with no deck
Two fat headless bodies kicking around a pair of Identical skulls
A dead monster was smiling while eating a cat
A sad broken laughter came from a corpse wearing a hat

there was the bittersweet smell
of mischief in the corner
of her smile
and in her eyes
he could see everything
that was good about love
and their was a delicate balance
of beauty and pain
woven into the warmth
of her heart

he sighed

knowing he could only imagine
doing anything other
than just imagine

Crickets and toads
In full chorus
And boisterous voice
Night has spread its wings
And claimed the sky
The man in the moon
Streches his limbs
Reaches into his satchel
And by handfuls
Tosses stars and sands
Of dream
Stars steak and make wishes
Sand falls and gives itself to death
And dream gives this endless sleep
Where forevers flower blooms
And my heart burns
With fire and flame
Eternaly dancing
For love
And
For you

She had the needle dancing in her eyes
And poison living in her veins
She was boiling her life away a spoon at a time
I can still hear her voice crying
On the other side of the phone
She just wanted one more ride
Before starting a brand new tomorrow
I can remember tracing the scars on her back
Thick and deep like wings
A history note left behind from a previous love
She liked the idea of dying
And often gave into trying
...
I loved her then...
...
Listening to the tears and apologies  on the other side of the phone
She wanted help
A better life
A better tomorrow
But the needle dancing in her eyes
Kept taking her on that one last ride
More poison than blood dancing inside
And I collapsed to crying
Last time I remembered
Tracing the scars on her back
And I couldn't stop thinking
Has she given into the trying...

Why would I say such a careless thing
what right do I have to be so reckless
so foolish
to give you something so heavy to hold
something bigger than I could ever be
something I could not hold on my own
to give you this burden
and hope you would see it as a gift

this broken
this ******
this bruised
this used up part of me...

the boy who never speaks
the deathly shy one
always afraid
always trembling inside
the coward that I keep so deeply hidden
no one could know
he is the largest part of me

the quite one
finally has something to say
someone to say it to
the words that always
get stuck in his gut
and never make it up his throat
and out his mouth
set loose upon your ears

and why
what good could these words do
when passed from me to you
would it not be better to keep them
to lock them up
in the chambers of my heart
what could I possibly hope to gain
by giving you something

so broken
so ******
so bruised
so used up

when I know you deserve
more than I can give
better than I can be

is it to push you away
to send you out of my life
to make it easier to pretend
that there is nothing I want to say
nothing that I am
completely desperate to express

is it only to watch you break
what is already broken
bleed what is already ******
bruise what is already bruised
find no use in what
has already been used

so I can quietly walk away
as if I had said nothing at all
felt nothing at all
and go back to my comforts
of quite solitude

In all my lonely rage
  I dreamed myslf alive
But I was still alone
So I dreamed a thousand dreams
  And they dreamed a thousand more
And their dreams gave birth to death
And death gave birth to life
And life gave birth to love
And love gave birth to blood
And blood gave birth to war
And war gave birth to man
And man was the first disease
  We ever found in dreams
So the dreams and I went back to sleep
  And we slept a thousand years
  And we will sleep withou a single dream
  Until this disease has died away
And we have learned to never
  Dream of man
    And mans
      Terrible ways

We watch with hungry eyes
Starving for all their lies
No one can profit from the broadcast
  of the truth
And the whole world is crumbling apart
While we cower in the dark
Nothing but puppets for paper and plastic
Get it now and pay more later
Before it's even ours they will be selling
  something better
And we need it more than the needle needs
  the vein
And we need it more than blood
And we need it...
And we're begging like ******
Staring with hungry eyes
Desperate for the newest lie

Do not fear the beauty of death
the black song birds of grey skies
the passing of time
that become memories only the grieving
and eternity will remember

Do not fear the song of the dying
for we all are singing along
even though from time to time
we pretend to forget the words
and dream the foolish dream
of vampires and eternity

Do not fear the mortality
of bones and flesh
for nothing last forever my love
for even time will crumble and fade
and become a memory
only the grieving and eternity will remember

There is nothing to fear in the end
that is not worth living through
and it is only as real as we imagine
so why not imagine a life so full of love
and so beautiful
that death weeps to spread her wings
over our lives we lived so well

the road unravels before me and the horizon keeps running two steps ahead of me and I cannot stop from imagining what the earth would look like without us, how all this concrete and steel would be overrun with grass and vines, wildflowers and wildlife... wildlife?  wildlife would just be life without us here to label it by our standards of what is and isn’t “wild”, without the plague of what we like to see as “civilized humanity” and my mind goes into its own metaphysical pseudo rage at the terminology of that phrase... “civilized humanity”... are we civilized?... humane?... if we stop to read between the lines... if we examine the folds between the pages of our history books... if we don’t blindly swallow down the twisted perspective of the past... if we don’t willing believe the lies we make up about our yesteryears so we can see ourselves as hero’s... instead of the villains... the villains we only stopped pretending to be when the victims of our crimes rose up and fought back... the men in chains, the women without voices, the children forced to fight for words and ideas of old men too afraid to die for their own beliefs... and even now, day by day history seems to be stuck on repeat... a scratched record of wobble wax turning round and round as out of tune as we are out of breath, and worse than that we seem to be allowing it to rewind and tangle and gurgle out white noise and static, to take three steps back for every king of freedom we have let be assassinated... for all the X’s we have drawn on their necks to mark where the knife and the bullet and the noose..should slash... should strike... should choke the life from...their bodies... their voices... their hearts... because freedom is only allowed to be pretty in the eyes of a metaphor... it is far too dangerous in the hands of the of the general populace... far too fragile to let our “civilized humanity” be in control of... we hear the word anarchy and imagine it ripe with chaos... never admitting to ourselves that the only chaos that exists in the ideology of anarchy is our own inability to treat each other with any kind of social responsibility without the threat of some kind of punishment... we only have ourselves to blame that without “law”, there would be no “order”... give me freedom... give them death... I could paint you a picture, tell you a tale of two similar in every way but the ending... one walks away and one falls to the grave... the grieving see no justice and the living just keep on walking... i hear that only love can defeat hate... i hear these words echo back and forth through time... i hear them echo over the bombs of the past, i hear them whisper over the bullets whizzing into the future, i hear them in ever beating heart in this room...yet i cannot stop myself from wondering... why does it feel like we are losing... why does it seem like this is a battle love will never win... why do we keep fighting... love vs hate... love over hate... when if we don’t stop fighting... one day soon... I won’t have to imagine this world without us... and everything, all this concrete, all this steel, all our flesh, all our bones...overrun with grass and vines, wildflowers... and life

What do we know of life and death
   ands time and love
when all we truly have is this moment
   how does tomorrow
      ever become today
         and what happened yesterday
       ten years ago
    is no closer or farther away
than the last syllable echoing in our heads

so what is time other than an illusion
   and a thief
     and a liar

do we breath in just to exhale
or is there something more important
to the function of our lungs
is there something more than oxygen
we need floating in the air
something that is as easy
and important to give
as it is to take and receive

Is the secret to this life
we so often abuse and neglect...

is the meaning to it all

so simple that
it is so horribly cliché

And with what great arrogance
we let our egos
crown ourselves intelligent
and place more worth
on our wants and greeds
than any other living thing
and then like a vicious virus
spread like a plague
and destroy anything that is in our way

we are smart enough
to see the end coming
but somehow lack the wisdom
and courage to change our ways

out with the good
double down on the bad

So what do we know of life and death
   and time and love
     as we long for immortality
        in our deaths
     some existential heaven
    of an afterlife
  a divine blessing
of unending love

yet waste this moment
   waiting for tomorrow
      to become today

On the lost forgotten roads
Where passions heart unfolds
Under the singing moon
You will find her dancing
In full bloom
Through the tangled woods
Of forest midnight kiss
Her scent flows freely in the air
Laced with decadence and sin
The stars all take their turn
To swirl and paint
And entwine their light
With the magic in her hair
To natures true delight
She frolics and glides
With her skin bare
To kiss the earth and air
Not a soul in heaven found
Not in hell a soul bound
Would dare to interupt
Her bewitching sway
In all my days and nights
All my loves and dreams
Never have I seen
Another beauty as devine

"Knock, knock, knocking on heavens door..."
God answered laughing, "You can't come in!  I don't not give you this thing called sin,  you created that yourselves just like the atom bomb.  I will not wash you clean with my childs blood!  I don't know who made you, but it wasn't me.  The only thing I've ever done is paint the sky and clouds and seas amd shores and trees with love.  And all you do is try and ruin all those things too.  So go away I've got to go, the devil and I are playing!"

Here we are killing ourselves
  even though we're already dead
Perpetuating our lies
  as we fake away our lives
Living in a world where love is
  a more outdated concept than war
Spending money on things
  we can't afford and things
   we no longer need because
     we can't control our greed
We turn time into money as we
  strangle every cent out of love
   as we choke our hearts to death
Where the dead things are
Cash is king and we all sing along
  "King Cash won't you save us
    Help us **** ourselves
    Teach us to sacrifice
    To increase your wealth
    The king is dead
    Long live the dead"

The first time I saw her
  I never would of thought
    a girl that beautiful
      would ever love
        a guy like me

But then somehow
  she did
    loved me more
      than anyone had before
         or since
loved me more kindly
  more sweetly
   more more
    than I ever would have
      imagined possible

And even though
  it didn't last forever

somehow

in someway

it did

There is a whisper in my heart
  louder than the roar of the sea
And there is a storm raging
  in my blood
And in the boom of the thunder
  your name echoes in my bones
And in the chill of the wind
  your ghost still haunts my soul
And in the flashes of lighting
  I can still see your eyes
And every rain drop is dreaming
  of you and screaming at me
And I try to shout out but my voice
  has  coward below
And I can't see the shore and I
  don't know if its night or its day
And I can't tell if I'm floating or
  sinking or falling
Or if I'm just dreaming and sleeping
  and wishing
You were lost out here in the
  middle with me

Love and *** and lust, sometimes acting together, sometimes acting apart and seperate.  Entities of themselves.  When all working together though, let us pause and remember the beautiful people and moments when we have been so lucky, it is a wonder and magic we can find no where else in the time we spend breathing and walking through our lives.  It is a pure delight and beauty all hearts and souls and bodies deserve to experince... it is not by any means an easy moment to find yourself in, it is not something everyone will be lucky enough to experince.  For those who have experinced it, stop and remember it.  Let it crawl under the surface of your skin and consume you in this moment.  Get hard or wer or both if capable.  And those who haven't... imagine it, fantasize about it, let it crawl into your bones and blood and let nature take its course and your body feel its power.

And now things become ugly... ugly and uncomfortable and unpleasant.
For this moment is far too often taken away by force and far too often the victims are blamed and the criminals set free with little or no punishment.  Read on if you are willing, but know it is unpleasant and remember for those who have gone through it, far, far worse than we can conceive.

Now come down but remember the bliss of that moment.  
And if you can, many won't be able to, some will have unfortunately already experienced this horrible thing I am about to ask of you...
Imagine a monster, a beast, another living creature, a person... another thing in human disguise... Imagine them taking by force your ability to ever experience it.  To take away one of the purest moments and gifts we should all have the right to.  The moment when love and *** and lust all breath in harmony and unison.  A moment that no devil or god ever dreamed up would dare take away from us.  A moment when love is at its peak of truth and beauty and ectasy.  

There are however, monsters walking amongst us in plain sight and view, who have taken this away from our daughters, sisters, mothers, aunts, wives, friends and even at times, our sons and brothers.
Some dress as the criminals they are, others as promising students from families of wealth, or politicians or preachers or officers of peace and law or the friendly neighbor next door.  There is no way to tell from looking at them, there is no warning sign.  We only find out after it is to late to stop them.  After they have penetrated our childrens vulnerability and forever robbed them of being able to share in that moment and that gift we all have the right to give and share.  It is an act that is outrageous and criminal  and vile and under every instance that it happens should always be punished to the full extreme and ability of justice.  
Unfortunately it is not always so, money and family heritage and name have the disgusting ability to influnce our so called legal system.  Some going to the severe extent of claiming their monstrous spawn were the real victims.  That the momentary lapse of good moral judgment was forced on them by "her" short skirt or flirtatious eyes or drunk behavior.  That "she" was nothing more than a "*****" that was asking for it... begging for it.  And now because of "her" their poor son may never become the billionaire they had always hoped for.  That now he may have to suffer the poor life only millions can provide.  These families of wealth and name and privilege are the villans that live under the guise of good moral and strong faith.  When they make such excuses for their sons, they should be stripped of everything they hold dear, their privilege, their money, their name.
Monsters living in plain sight should not be allowed any excuses for an inexcusable act in any circumstance.  
The term "**** culture" shows us nothing other than how disgusting  we have let our world become.   That as a whole, we worry more about the ink on the dollar bill than we do about the blood coursing through our sisters hearts.  
Somewhere, at both the time I'm writing this and the time you are reading this, someone is either being ***** or someone is being excused for ****** someone.  And once again I must ask, Isn't enough, enough?  When will we stand and unite against greed and give ourselves back to the gift of love?  Let it be soon... let it be today

Even though we have to say goodbye Before we ever
  have the chance to say hello
I hope you can forgive and believe that I wish it wasn't
  going to be this way
And even Though I dig a grave within my heart
My eyes will shower this place with endless tears
My blood as it passes by will drop off rose after rose
  with ever heart beat
Know that I will always love what you might have been
  even though I will never know the color of your eyes
  or the warmth of your smile or the sweet sound
  of your laughter or the sadness of your tears or the
  joy of holding you in my arms
I will build a playground by your early grave where you
  can stop by to laugh and play and visit anytime I dream
And though I don't know the rules of life and death, I will pray
  to every god and spirits name that I know that perhaps when
  the day and night is right you can come back and help
  unbuild this early tomb and then once again grow in
  a mothers womb

There is no fixing what is broken
there is no raising the dead
you are just a dream
a promise of light
a path to better days
not made for me
my youth has been spent
and wasted
and yours still much alive
with much more to go
what awaits you
has much more to give
than I could match
I wish I could stay
give into this dream
love you with all of my heart
that is so desperate to love you
utterly
  completely
give all of itself to you...

but I am just a scared boy
living in a body that is growing old
a fool and a coward at best
more than forty years have passed
with likely less than forty to go
it's all been a blur

and what I have found in you
I have found too late in my life
love beyond perfection
life beyond beautiful
a sudden rush of euphoria
a glimpse of a eternal happiness
a visit from the pure joy of forever

I am grateful beyond words
indebted beyond times end
you have given me too much already
I am humbled and inspired
lucky and blessed to have seen
your hearts beauty
to have been touched
by the warmth of your kindness

but who am I other
than someone broken
with something dead inside
gazing up at a dream
I wish i could reach for
had time to nurture
to watch grow beautifully

who am I other than
a fool and a coward
to be afraid of love

her soft eyes held
a quite suffering
a delicate pain
a strange beauty

I wanted to reach out  
to offer a comforting hand
a quite moment
to let her speak
to let her fall apart
to break down
to let her be alone
without being alone

but who was I
other than a shy child
trembling beneath an aged body
scared of what I admired
terrified of what I might love

so I sat motionless
hiding beneath silence
planting seeds of future regrets
that will bloom  
into the words I will
have wished I had spoken

one of these days before
there is no light left in my eyes
no movement in my chest
no air to exit my lungs
I will tell you how I fell  

maybe you already known

I will tell you how you made
my heart a happy place
with the time we spent
in the same rooms

how you turned earthly moments
into heavenly breaths
by showing me your heart
made out of sunshine

and how brightly and beautifully
your heart inspired my own
to know and feel love
beyond any I would have
dared hoped for
dreamt of
or possible imagined

how every moment with you
was a gift I could never
be grateful enough for
a debt beyond any
I could repay in this life

and that when
there is no light left in my eyes
no movement in my chest
no air to exit my lungs

that my heart will remember...

it will remember the light and beauty
of your sunshine heart
and all the love you inspired it
to know and feel

She was there last night
the girl you write about
the one you read of
I saw her again
I heard her voice

she was on stage
pulling her ribs open
exposing her heart

it was a blazing star
full of warm soft fire
burning with passion
and vulnerability

her eyes glistening jewels
carved out of moonlight
full of both mystery and wonder

her smile...

her smile
I wish I could describe it
without sounding like a teenage boy
falling in love for the first time
because my teenage years
were a long time ago
and I was never that kind of brave...
not then...
not now either...

I don’t know if when we die
if heaven will be there
if we will meet a god or gods
but to see her smile
is to catch a  glimpse of eternity
to feel the safety
of what heaven is dreamt to be

and that is only a small piece
of her beauty
the larger part
the fullness of her beauty
isn’t all the pretty
that can be seen with our eyes

no... the fullness of her beauty

is how she crafts
the time and space of the room
how she walks through
the infinite mysteries of life
leaving questions hanging in the air
like ripe fruit ready to be harvested
to nourish the mind
encourage the spirit

the fullness of her beauty
is felt in the tremble of her voice
the quake of sound
she lets loose into the air
the rumbling war drum beat
thundering from her open chest

it is the song of her heart
reaching out to the lost
to let them know
they are not alone

it is the soft warmth
you feel when she takes the stage
it is the seed of hope
she weaves into her words
it is the fire  
that dances in her poetry

the fullness of her beauty
is the beauty
of all the things
we can only feel with our hearts
only hold in our breath
the things that can touch us
that we can not touch
back with our fingertips
it is the beauty
of all the things vulnerable

Why do we do it?
Why do we fall for
  The girls and the boys
   Over mountains
     Across oceans
      Through rivers
        And streams
And he loves her
  But she loves him
    And he doesn't care
     About anything but
       The silence
         And the solitude
           And the
             Word
We form triangles that
  Turn into squares that
    Make circles and
     We're all trapped in
       Roundabouts going
         Around and round
Always out of reach
  But not too far apart
   For our hearts
     To dream and
       Long and pine
         Of the possibility
And I weep for the broken
  Heart that won't break
And I die in this love
  That cannot die
And the knife in my back
  Is in my own hand
And a gun with no bullets
  Has shoot down the moon
And I'm drowning in this
   Endless breath that I
     Stole from a fool
       Who was dreaming
          Of you

I need you the way the skin needs a knife
Cutting away the dead and exposing the new
Such raw painful feelings
Such addicted needings
I want you like the page needs the pen
Spilling your dreams into my pulp
Feeding my pulse with your love
I'm just the face of a clock without hands
In each moment I spend without you
No use or no purpose
I'm dying for the cut of your kiss
Break the skin of my neck with your teeth
Expose all the lust and dreams hiding beneath
I'm aching for a drop of your heart
To absorb your light and your hopes
To be sweetly bleesed on the high of your touch
I need your hands on my face
Wipe away this dusty deaperation of tears
Give my life reason and heart hope
With your love

In the hazelnut swirls of her eye's
the secrets of the cosmos danced
and in the shadows
and curves of her lips
was the infinte truths of love
and in the song of her heart
I was to be forever lost
to wander with madness
as I fall
for the beauty
within her tattooed soul