She moved like the fairytale of flowers
She had the grace of the gentle scent of rain
With butterfly eyelashes and loves red lips
Soft porcelain cloud white skin that hid heaven and hell within
Before I even opened her book I could tell she was the beginning of my end
I held my breath through every page
And with every word another part of my heart was stole
And I was completely lost in this story where I found
Love and forever had no end

A page entry from A.Z.H.'s "Thought Book"

  "Through the pages of this journal is the paper that contains the ink made from the cloudy gas called dream.  The dream is from me.  My thoughts are written inside this journal.  But I must warn you that it won't always carry good thoughts.  Some can be scary or sad, exciting or angering.  But it all depends on how you read it."

A.Z.H.

I can't help but be just doom and gloom sometimes.... I mean, when looking at the world at a quick glance... Donald F'ing Trump... are you f'ing kidding me, it's funny, but seriously.... And it doesn't stop there... but I will because I don't have that kind of time and if you're reading this you probably already know how absurd our situation is... not just as a nation but as a species... How has it come to this, how have  we failed to become more compassionate and only advanced in greed and pointless self endeavors.  The whole world is collapsing and we're all too busy working to do nothing more than to fill our pockets with debt so we can have something we don't even need tomorrow but want today.  The fuse is lit, make no mistake, our days our numbered... yea, we could put the fire out, we might even be able to save ourselves... but instead we just fan the fire.  Hate hiding behind religion and national pride and casual prejudice and more often than not, just rearing its ugly head out in the open, because why the "f" not...  And truthfully, I'm terrified and I'm mad and I'm sick and I pray to some unknown god that please tell me I'm not human.  Maybe Thompson , Williams, and too many to name had the right idea... an early exit, not because they gave up hope, but because they just said "f" it... no one's listening and there's better places to be.  I can picture Hunter and Robin and Sid laughing it up under the bodhi tree... Suicides not my thing, I may have thought of it once or twice... who knows, maybe there was a rainy night once upon a time were death was sitting there in the passenger sit and a bottle of antifreeze was laying in my lap or maybe thats just a bad dream I can't quite forget... either way, I can't blame them.  At a quick glance and an over welcome stare... the world is just "f'd"...  Things are bleak, politicians are trying to push back progress in the name of this god and that religion vs basic human compassion and empathy.  No one is safe, those we should be able to trust to protect life are taking life... parents, uncles, aunts, brothers, sisters, neighbors, police, preachers... kids killing kids and on and on and on and... We have the ability now more than ever before to be better.  There is literally no excuse left for us to be so callous to those living without the bare essentials.  No matter how little we may have, we always have enough to share.  We can be better in ways far beyond that... Why are we still sending our own children to die in unnecessary wars... no matter your childs age, that's still your baby girl or baby boy..."18" or older doesn't change that... and it's no different on the other side.  War today is just blood for dollars, oil for souls... crocodile tears falling from political leaders  on both sides for the loss of lives sacrificed for some illusion they call freedom.  Doom and gloom goes on and on and on and....

Somewhere in the dark, in the secret corners and cracks, in the music of pitch black silence... there's still beauty... if you look long enough, close enough... you can see it, you can hear it, you can feel it...  

To quote Neil Gaiman

"A world in which there are
Monsters and ghosts and
Things that want to steal
Your heart
Is a world in which there are
Angels
And dreams
And a world in which
There is
Hope"

And hope is the universal heartbeat that beats within us all... if we stop to listen and look and feel... we can be better

Heaven my sweet girl
my beautiful muse
is not a place in the sky
or in far and distant dreams
it is the place I have seen
in the dark endless pupils
of your eyes
and the place my heart sings of
when beating to the rhythm
of your name
it is the way you touch
below the surface of my skin
and carve a moment of eternity
from the dying moonlight
and burn it into my kneck
with the smile of your kiss
and it is only fools love
and a fool that loves you
and it may only be pretend
or words trapped in a book
never to be read
by jestets or queens
and if it is only here in fairy tales
may I never be real
other than these black ink stains
on this lonely page

"Did you see it?  Oh... god, please tell me you saw that.  It was ******* beautiful, the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.  I mean... I never... never saw anything... ANYTHING.... GOD.... just tell me you saw that....  It h..ha..happened so fast...was...was that even real.  It was crazy.... Her hand, it just...She just slipped it right through his chest... like he was a ghost or just air... and pulled out his HEART.  It was a beautiful thing to watch... and the air went electric, you could feel it in the  air... so much love.  His heart, there in her hand, it was singing and purring.  I never felt so miserably happy in my whole ****** life.  What a thing to see,  watching it beat there in her hand, It was flopping around in her hand like a fish, jumping, and I swear, barking and whining like a little puppy.  It filled the air with such love and happiness...oh... If I could have just stayed there in that air.  Then she smiled, and he... he was smiling too, the whole time, frozen with his eyes glazed over, a hauntingly beautiful smile... but her smile...wow... I couldn't breathe or move either.  God and the Devil, they would have wept to see such a beautiful smile.  And then she kissed his heart and I swear,  you could just tell...it kissed her back...  The electricity and music in the air,  it grew louder... it was like heaven and hell opened up and ever angel and devil and god and demon started playing a symphony.  Then,  this was the best part, she pulled wings out of thin air and started to sew them onto his heart... while it was still beating and singing and  jumping  around in her hand.   What a show... Unbelievable.  The wings came to life as she tied off the last stich... they streched out their feathers and then flew off with his heart... And... then they both turned to smoke and vanished.  Can you still hear it... the music... Can you still feel it... The love, here in the air... Its... Its amazing right... I could just stay here forever... couldn't yo...Hey, where did you go...where'd everyone go?... Hello..."  
But he was alone...
No one was there and it suddenly went black and he felt empty and he knew before he put his hand over his chest... his heart was gone

His face was heavy and craked
with a lifetime of broken bedtime stories
between the painted brushstroke colors
trapped in the tears his eyes cradled
and sang to sleep everytime the moon
showed its thin silver crescent smile
she quoted Bob Ross before
she sat a barstool away from him
and a snort of a laugh escaped his mouth
and the minutes passed into hours
and the shots became doubles
and the empty barstool now swayed
and creaked under the weight of them both
and they laughed
until twelve minutes until three
when the bartender kicked them out
and they  got lost between the dim light
of a crescent moon
and a tangle of bed sheets
and soft pillows filled with flowers
that smelled like orchids dreaming
and she guided his hand between her ribs
and placed it over her heart and whisperd
its cold in here....
and he traced the outline of her pulse
with his fingertips
and left a trail of fire
beneath her bones
and he could hear voodoo beating
its drums in her blood
and he felt her smile split his ribs open
and her hands fondling his withered heart
and she spoke in foreign languages
of old tounges tied and knotted
in the arts of love
and the room grew dark
as the moon was swallowed
by clouds and witchcraft  
and his eyes bleed out their colors and tears
and he broke down sobbing
and she took him into her arms
and beneath the ocean of her eyes
where their tears swam together
with the salt of the sea
and the night was swallowed
by the sun breaking the horizon
and they both disappeared
into a song known only to mermaids

An ocean apart but only a moon away
I would climb through your darkness on broken and ****** knees
Drown in your tears to hold your heart up
Sacrifice my soul and turn your lead wings back to gold
I would give my heart to your prayers
Your beauty is more important than air to my lungs
Cross the ocean by moon
And slide into your dreams
And you can slip into my bed
Where we'll  both fall as we sleep

"a" is for love
"b" is for hate
"c" is for the illusion and deceit we believe
"d" is for who the innocent and children follow into graves
"e" is for the things we choose not to see
"f"  is for the things that we don't know or understand
"g" is for the faceless we give new names and old prayers
"h" is for the place that we tell bad little children they'll go
"i"  is for the blind leading the blind off the edge of the world
"j"  is for the humor we find in ****** and ****
"k" is for for the one eyed man wearing a crown
"l" is for what we believe in place of the truth
"m" is for what we justify in the name of country and god
"n" is for letting the hungry starve on the cold streets
"o" is for the thing we fear more than death
"p" is for those who turn cash into laws to protect rich criminals
"q" is for the lady dressed in jewels and dead hope
"r" is for what we have done with our dreams and our blood
"s" is for the last word we will say when we realize it's a little too late
"t" is for the boogeyman carrying our bullets and bombs
"u" is for what stares back from the mirror we pretend not to see
"v" is for the birds waiting to pick what little humanity still covers our bones
"w" is for the games of profit for death
"x" is a sign and a spot and a sign we ignore
"y" is for questions we better not ask
"z" is for all that is wasted in a life lived in a world
  that doesn't start and end with love

Some one kills themselves because they were just too sad
And some jack *** makes a joke or worse is thankful that they don't have to hear that cry baby whine anymore
Acting free of guilt that their apathy and ignorance makes them better
That their inability to be empathetic or compassionate had nothing to do with the problem in the first place
Its not a singular problem linked to one *******, its the world full of *******
Blind to true beauty and deep emotion and true passion for life
Its the ones that care too much and love too much and belive too much and feel too dammed much that fall victims
To the silent monster and invisible disease of depression
Suicide isn't isolated to whiny broken hearted teenagers unable to cope with rejection or social pressure
And even they deserve our compassion and understanding
Depression has a long history of robbing the lifes of genius and talent and souls and hearts truely too beautiful for this **** pile of a planet
Full of greedy *** hats with blinders wrapped tight to their skulls and numb blood flowing through their bodies
Because their sad ugly truth is they just can't handle the reality of how ****** up the world can be
They can't bare to look into the mirror and really look at whats on the other side
They can't accept the fact that their dead hearts and souls are just hanging in the reflection of their lifeless eyes
They couldnt bare cope with the mere idea of a moment in life where every emotion and thought were so bad and dark
That everything hurt so ******* bad that no joy or hope was on the horizon of any of tomorrows sunsets
That jumping over the edge into oblivion and the cold unknown embrace of death was better than taking another single breath
They wouldn't survive that moment, just the thought of that moment would push them beyond hope
So they make bad jokes and apathetic statements of indifference when they here the news
Another sad cry baby lost to suicide thank god we don't have to listen to them cry
Anymore
Never knowing just how much beauty the world just lost
In this world its easier to be dead than passionate
Easier to sit in a cage and go with the flow
Easier and safer to just be a cog in the machine
Its easier to not god ****** feel anything...
...
**** that,
And **** them
Feel too much
Care too much
Love too much
Be too ******* beautiful
For this ****** up
**** pile of a planet
**** their bad jokes
And their apathy
Because a life
Without passion
Is just going to end
With the joke on them
So they can
Shut the **** Up!
And me and you and
Every one mad and crazy
Enough to live
Can live
And cry
And feel
And *******
Love
Too
******
Much

Was it your hair or your lips or your name or something you wrote or the yellow streak that showed you stopped by, Strangers in life never to meet always alone writing living dying typing away trying to make sense of it all or to give up the ghost that hurt us the most and why do it at all when were just shadows and doubts waiting for the candle to burn out while we sit reading pretending to care of how unknown faces fare nodding our heads in our empty rooms  as we dissect an empty heart we just witnessed pour itself out and here we are all repeating and weeping fingers tapping   a   b   c   d   e  f'ing away the night  all alone or together and tom is signing asking who let in the bad weather reminding us that no matter how hard we try someone else has already done it better

I wish I was anytime but here
How I miss all those yesteryears
And I'm so disappointed in what the
  worlds turned into
All we needed was a little love and imagination
But we went a different way
Took the common path
Chasing luxuries and cash
We're poisoning our mother and we are
  still killing our brothers
Watching good food wither and rot
While ignoring hunger souls
And fat mouths heavy with the stench
  of caviar and lies
Cast illusions of freedom while fitting us
   with their shackles and chains
We sit willingly in our cage so grateful for
  the pennies they give us to throw away
   into their pools
The wishing well for fools
True freedom within our reach
But how many more have to preach about
  emancipation from our mental state
How many more will we ignore as they sing
   about love and imagination
Our potential is within our grasp
But we let our moments pass
So we can chase luxury and cash

She was a hot knife
Carving through deaths grip
Something heaven couldn't mold
And hell dare not to hold
She had whisky waiting on her lips
And sin blooming between her hips
Venom swimming in her blood
Poison waiting in her touch
Fools paradise in gold laden vines
Wrapped around and steal the last breath
Of those that found the snake hiding in her kiss
Nothing left
No ghosts
No bones
No soul
No trace or mist
After she has stolen
Your life and death
No one will rember
You exist

Turtles never die
Where swift creatures often roam
With beasts of steel hide

I never imagined myself with one of the incurable disease...Things like cancer always happen to some other poor soul.   And we all sit and talk and pretend to care... "Oh... How horrible... What did the doctor say... How long... Just so sad...poor, poor, thing".  "Thing"... like now that they're dying they are somehow less human, not worth anything but petty small talk to inflate our own self worth and ego.  That's what most of us do, living, if you can call what we do living, with blinders strapped tight to our heads so we can ignore as much of each other as possible.  Interacting only to satisfy our base carnal desires... stripping each others clothes, dignity, souls... stripping everything from one another but leaving the blinders on.   No one wants to watch the ugly act we've turned making love into.  It's not even ****... just empty bodies grinding in filth stained beds for cheap ******* trying to fill the painful moments before we fall asleep.  
And we have the nerve to call the lucky ******s dying, "Things".  Everyone can look in the mirror but no one is willing to see their actual reflection.  
What abunch of chumps.
Today, I became a "Thing"... No I didn't go to the doctor... I woke up and just knew.  I felt it crawl up from the depth of my very being and could see my reflection before I even made it to the bathroom mirror.   ****,... it hurt, hurt bad... the kind of hurt you know, just know, is gonna stick there with you to the bitter end.  It came on quick, it came out of nowhere... A little thumbnail size scratch right under my hearts skin.  It happened maybe a week ago,  I couldn't tell you exactly when or even how it happened.  It became infected before I could stop it, although looking back..  at my life before... why would I.  Dying like this... I never would have dared dream to be so lucky... Good god it felt good.  It even made my **** hard, it made it seep without even being touched, a ******* without the shame or guilt or lust... I woke up today and knew,  just knew, I was dying of love.  Dying for love.  Dying just to love her with my last breath... did she love me?  Would she?  Could she?  It didn't matter... I was going to die loving her either way, scrapping and stealing as much pain from her heart as I could on my way out, dragging every monster and demon and devil I could find in her burdened and black soul with me as I marched toward death.  If there was every I more beautiful way to die I wouldn't want it.  No, this was my exit to Eden, the only way for me to die.  Dying here in her eternal hell... Yea, it hurt... but it hurt so bad that it just felt right, that it made sense.  I was going to die and that was the best news of my life... I laughed, a good hard laugh, the kind of laugh you hear echoing in the halls of a mad house, insane asylum, a loony-bin if you will.  God forgive me, all the hurt and pain... I needed it,  I needed to see and feel it all.  I needed to  bathe in it, wallow in it, and swallow it all.  It was sweet and glorious, sticky and hot, dark and bitter... so much beautiful pain... it felt incredible.  Still, I laughed tears as it hurt just to breathe.  I couldn't help but smile, I was dying and dying the best way possible, my Eden and last breath at the end of her fingers, the end of her ocean, the bottom of her fallen heart..  and I was happy just to be there.

Even in silence
  there is music
    there is always music
no matter the depth
  of grief or sorrow
    there is always music
and where there is music
  there is love

Love poems I have
  stacks of utter nonsense
   a plethora of piles
     of the ridiculous and illogical
True madness infected
    with rhythm and rhyme
I’ve wandered through
  stories of eternity
    found in simple kisses
I’ve watched tragedies unfold
  in the grains of sand
     at forevers end
I’ve witnessed heaven bloom
  here on earth in every step
    I’ve seen love take
and I’ve seen that heaven crumble
  and have been left with
      the heavy weight
        and the emptiness
          of nothing at all
and I have wished foolish wishes
  and I have sat with death
   and asked…

I have never been particularly
  found of heartache
    nor have I ever learned
       to handle it well
Is there every a better time
   to be melodramatic than during
       the dizzying heights
         or desperate lows of love

and yet I am still here
  by luck or miracle
i do not know if
  there is a difference
    between the two
I am grateful though
  to have lived
   through loves
     short days of eternity
and survived the worsts
  of its endless nights
I am grateful to have
  experienced love
    in every aspect
       it has shown me

every shy school boy crush
every devastating broken heart
every first kiss
every unexpected goodbye

and I have been here long enough
  and I have loved
     and been loved enough
to know that sometimes
   even though some loves
      don’t last forever
   somehow
     in someway
        they do

and isn’t that enough
  for me to know
that by some miracle
  In this life
I can truly say
I have been lucky in love

When I say I love you what I mean is
I love you in a way that means
here is my love
take as much or as little as you need

whenever you need it
whenever you need it

and here this is my heart
but it is more than that now
it is yours now too

you can hold it in your hands
you can feed it to yours
you can hang it in the sky
you can put it on a shelf  
        and let it gather dust
you can press it between
           the pages of a book
you can stomp on it
you can break it
you can toss it away
      and laugh if you want

it’s ok
  it’s yours
it’s ok
  it’s yours

because I love you
and what I mean is that
when you need comfort
I will give you whatever
   comfort I can
when you feel ill or sick
I will take care of you
in whatever way you need
when you need someone
   to make you smile
I want to to do my best
   to give you a reason to smile
and when you don’t feel like smiling
I want to understand
    and weather the storm with you

when you are cold
I want to be warmth
when you are hunger
I want to be food
when you are lost
I want to be the road home

because when I say I love you
I love you doesn’t mean
I need you to be mine
and I need to be yours

it means here you made this
you gave me this feeling
and it is beautiful
and I am in your debt
and I give it back to you
not expecting
or needing anything in return

I am here
even if here isn’t by your side
you don’t need to love me back
the same way I love you

and if here isn’t a place
you want me to be
I will go wherever
you want me to go
if its hell
I will go to hell for you

and still if you need a little
or all or none of my love
it’s yours

take whatever you need
whenever you need it

it’s yours
   it’s yours

Let my breath be your brush
To spread your color
And bring you pleasure
To part your clouds and thighs
Release the floods of dew and doubt
My tounge pushing demons out
By brush strokes traced along
Both black and blue and you
Till mixed the darkest shades of red
Of blood of soul and skin
Be not my prize of lust
It is the beating of my heart
That makes me dream of sin
I can love and leave no trace
I would spill no life or seed
If you did not whisper love back to me
My soul is yours
Chained to this fate
To ease your every pain
No pleasure need be mine
From parting cloud and thigh
I will savor ever crooked tooth
And leathery wing
And never cease to eat
Any demon to dare crawl
And hide within your sheets
My servitude is yours
My feet be puppet
And hands be marionette
To forever be your fool
My breath your brush
To spread your color
And paint your pleasure

I'm stumbling through cobwebs of lines
Drowning in alphabet soup
I'm not writing
Just watching the words bleed out
I will die here
In the warm embrace
Of your inspiration
And no death more lovely
For you touched my heart
With delicate fire
And maddening grace
And a garden bloomed
That spread into forests
And mountains and oceans
And worlds and stars
And moons and suns
And grew and grew
And grew
Until it enveloped universe
After universe
After univere
Until all things of heaven and hell
And all the cosmos
Had your flowers
Growing and singing and dancing
Within them
Yes I will die here
Watching the words bleed out
From my heart
And I will die
With a mad smile stitched to my face
Your delicate hand
Holding the needle and thread
And I will drift to the ever after
Forever in love with
You

Come with me my love
Under the depths between us
Under the darkness within us
Under the dreams that bind us
Come with me my love
Under the sheets of endless time
Under the night of forever more
Under the moon where I'm eternaly yours
Come with me my love
Take the blood in my heart so your heart may live
Steal the air from my lungs so you may breathe
Use my bones and my marrow and all of my thread
And mend your wings
Find your voice
Let your beauty shine through
I would be less than nothing
Without this dreaming of you
Come with me my love
I'm dying for you

What good are we
in flesh and bone
when we ignore
the wisdom of the songs
flowing in the blood
beating from our hearts

what good are we
in flesh and bone
when we walk
through troubled times
as nothing more than ghosts

Memories and poems
Leaving the bad ones
Lying with the good
Writing out of habit
Lackluster of passion
Stirring letters in the soup
Sculpting metaphors
Painting words
Yawning in my sleep
My life a month ago
Was more just a dream
Of nothing much
But past lovers
And regrets of
What might have been
Made up stories
Or truths of rage
Trapped living the lie of freedom
From the saftey of my cage

Then was it by fate or chance
Or coincidence
I really could not tell
A harmless message
Sent forth then back
A single image
And a voice
Words both written and spoken
With such beauty and such grace
My curiosity wanted more
And shyly I feed that cat
Another message sent and read
Inspiration whispered to my ear
Then heart
Then soul
Was it flirting or simple kindness
Maybe a little bit of both
My curiosity wanted more
And In truth so did I
I feed and feed the cat and I
The cat grew fat
And my heart grew found
Each new picture seen
Each new word read and heard
Unexplainably
Unplanned
I slowly began to fall
And in falling
Through the darkness
I quickly found
My heart giving into
Madness

Now I start dreaming
Before I fall asleep
And keep dreaming
After I wake  up
Dreams so vivid
Dreams so real
Dreams of falling
Through the madness
Of this love
You have never been in my room
But dream after dream
You have already shared my bed
We have never kissed
But my heart is convinced
It already knows the intimacy
Of your fingers touch
My soul spread with fire
Has burned your image
Upon my eyes
My pillow no fair substitute
For your head
But it knows every secret
Love and lustful whisper
I've wanted to say to you
And I know I shouldn't
But I cave and give in
Because it feels so good
And my senses
Say impossible
How could I have fallen here
Fallen so deep and quick
Into the blazing temptations
Of the devils smile
And the promised comforts
Of arms of paradise
The dark songs
The wailing warnings
The monsters beneath your bed
The devils waiting in your chest
I have fallen still deeper
Wanting all of you
For the delicate warmth
Of your smile
For the sweet songs
That beat in your heart
I would sit with you through
The blackest day
And hold your hands through
Every storm
My heart would want nothing less
Than all of it
To fly next to you
Be it forever
Or just one day
It's love for you
Will never fade

Big Daddy World
Take us for a whirl
Stray bullet to the head
All our innocence is dead
No more sleeping
No more dreaming
Just keep all the cogs spinning
Its not raining
All the clouds are weeping

Remember when ever night felt like saturday
When we were all both young and alive
Dancing and drinking and rolling on highs
We were the kings and the queens of the night
Chasing the moon and pulling down stars from the sky
Back when it felt like we could have done anything we wished for
And now that my years have grown longer
And my nights have lost sight of saturday
No longer  a king
Just a peasant wishing on a dream that keeps eluding me

Days seem longest when the sun won't set
Nights seem longest when the stars don't shine
I know I'll never be yours
Because you'll never be mine
Still nothing will **** this love inside
Nothing will let this heart beat die
No matter how much I cry
No attempts or acts of suicide
Not the death of all time
Its gonna be a long long life
With this love inside

A baby is born and someone dies and life goes on
Someone accidentally drops a twenty in a blind mans tin cup
And someone is murdered for a buck and some change
And life goes on
The sun and the moon and the planets and the stars and the earth keeps turning and here we are as life goes on and on and on while we're killing each other and spreading filth and disease, poisoning the soil and killing off bees and digging deeper for oil we don't even need and lining our graves with the poor choices we've made and excusing ourselves so we can look the other way and life goes on and on and on and we pretend to be blind to the truth and we feast on the excess of lying to our youth and we cling to our ignorance and we see only what we want in the mirror because we can't handle seeing the ugly things we've become and we don't want to admit to all the horrible things we have done and we have done and we don't deserve to go to heaven or hell because why would any god or any devil battle over our souls when no one values the gift of love and love is in the air and free for anyone who would just take a moment to breathe but we're too busy holding our breath and praying for death because we can't see that life goes life goes on and on and..

Dear friend,

maybe you know me   maybe you know me well   maybe you only know my face but not my name   maybe you only know rumors of me    maybe we passed through the same door but at different times    maybe you were sitting here where I am now in some other life in some other building    maybe we shared a beer and a shot and a tale or two    maybe I broke down in tears as you sat awkwardly in front of me at some dinner at 3:17 in the morning the last time my heart fell apart at the seams    maybe you told me a joke that caught me off guard and I snorted before a deep belly laugh    maybe you trusted me enough to tell me your dreams afraid I would think them absurd    maybe you trusted me enough to read your children bedtime stories    maybe you’re the girl that made me write my first love poem   maybe it was horrible    maybe it wasn’t    maybe you’re the last person I said I love you to that believed me    maybe you’re someone I wanted to talk to but lost my voice when the opportunity presented itself    maybe we talked but I never said what I should have    maybe I said too much   I’m always quite except when I don’t know when to shut up    maybe we haven’t meet yet    maybe we won’t     maybe we will in and wherever comes next    maybe you where a leaf and I was a tree    maybe you where the spider and I was the fly     maybe I was a **** and you were a child’s first wish     maybe you were the star and I was the last lullaby to leave a dying mans lips     maybe we will never know more than we know right now     maybe it’s all one great last goodbye   one moment of eternity twirling in the eyes of a child in the mind of a god taking its last breath    maybe we never where    maybe we never will be    

but friend,

no matter what it may or may not be    know this    I love you    as you are    whole or broken    miserable or content    kind or cruel    perfectly flawed or flawed with perfections    have no doubt all you need to be beautiful is the song in the beat of your heart    we are connected    by legends and myths    fairy songs and pirate maps    secrets untold and memories forgotten    laughter unheard and tears not shed     lives lived through the blood and pulse of an unending spool of thread found in the bottomless pool of the eternal heart of love

and friend,

take care    be kind   live well   dream always   love infinitely

Could I ever be yours
My skin, my blood, my bones
Could you ever be mine
Your heart, your mind, your soul
I've been here before
Overwheling and madly in love
I've been here before
And I've been here dreaming of you
And I've been selfish and greedy
  and drowning in doubt
And I've kept this love all to myself
Never brave enough to risk
Never brave enough to dare
Never brave enough to write
The words that circumvolve
  around my skin, my blood, my bones
And if I found the courage
Could you be mine
Your heart, your mind, your soul
Could I be yours
Or will I always be walking this lonely
  shore
Lost and in love where ever grain of sand
  whispers your name
Dreaming and dreaming and dreaming
  alone

War hung himself
from the electrical cord
attached to his power tie
and plugged into an outlet
in the cracked night sky
and not a single star did weep
and each did fall to sleep
and with weary eyes
now peacefully closed
did dream and dream
and as wars blue and gray face
did dim and fade
children now did safely play
in fields where no bullets flew
or missles soared
and hope like flowers grew

She wore a cloud of misery around like a wealthy women wore the finest fur coat.  Proudly, beautifully, she had the kind of kisses that were all teeth, the kind that scared and ripped hearts out, not the kind that just drew blood and pleased.  I was in love with her once, I had fallen hard.  but that was long ago, long before she ever showed me her coat.

People die so young now
Leaving their bodies to still walk around
Their hearts choking on dust instead of pumping blood
Their eyes faded of all color except for the grey of the day to day
Selling their souls for the comfortable numb
No pain in their cookie cutter homes
Debt in their banks and death in their marrow
No love, no kindness, all given into the masses of blindness
Painted smiles over rotting teeth
Happiness a ghost and a lie
Nothing more than a comercial on a broken dream
Marching in circles to keep the gears spinning around
War and Hate building machine after machine
Religion blaming the devil while ignoring its own festering heart
Evil wasnt forged by the fires of hell
But invented in the hearts of man
Ingraved on every bullet and bomb and false reason of war
Generals and Kings all part of the lie
Someone has to carry the burden
Of dreaming up new ways
For young people to die