And my heart broke a little more
and sank deep down to the
bottom of misery
And beyond temptation hate tried
to force its way above my skin
And throat foamed and the chance
to yell obscenities
And how my blood did howl with
angers force
And my unclenched fist wanted to grasp
liers throat
And better sense of temperament reminded me....
     just breath
       just breath
         just breath

She is the poem his heart writes while he lays sleeping in perfect slumber and the sounds of a magenta sky flows with music drifting slow and easy from the rhythmic sway of her soft hair and a gentle warmth rains down from her deep blue eyes sending him ever further down into the ocean of this endless dream and the echo of eternity dripps like honey from her precious lips and beautiful smile and the words of the poem burn into the skin of his heart and the music stays with him throughout the waking hours of the day and he smiles a smile he hasn't smiled since the long lost days before love met heartache and tragedy

What is this broken thing inside our chest
this thing we once called love
what weary hand did try to stitch
what eye did try see
what was beautiful

  inside of you
   inside of me

what is this thing that feels like death
that once felt like a dream
the stars that danced
inside the colors of your eyes
the blood and lust
that feed and devoured me
that storm and sea
that bridged the emptiness
between you and me

what is it that we lost
that we both once held so dear
did something die inside of me
and then in turn die inside of you
what is that we lost
that broke the love along the way
to dreams forever and now never true

and if the love was broken
then why does this broken thing
inside my chest
still love and dream of you

She had permanent grass stains on her shoulder blades
and the skin on her back always carried
the scent and salt of the earth
her hair danced like green fields in the wind
and had the subtle fragrance of lilacs
and though her flesh was tied to her bones
and her feet walked the ground beneath them
her heart was not bound by these same rules of gravity
and was often found swimming
in the space between the stars
and her eyes where painted with scenes
of the sky held up by oceans
and oceans held down by the sky

he could see himself in these reflections
broken and incomplete
and that somewhere in his life death would be there
and this would still not change in the end
and that no life lived is every complete
and last breaths are just interruptions
of what is that turn into what will be

he knew she had mysteries to be
and mysteries to discover
and questions to ask without speaking
and answers that couldn’t be put into words
she was perfectly herself inside
and outside of her human frailties
and she held a comfort
that could only be found
in being comfortable with your flaws

somewhere in the sound
of the syllables of her name
was a love open and free
that needed no redemption
gave no judgement
held no sin or shame
only the willing connection
to those seeking to find something more
than just the infinite stars
splattered across the endless universe
the something of wisdom hidden
in the heartbeat of not knowing
what is still to be found
and finding what can never be found
by anything other than the truth
of giving love freely
to the greatest fears of the unknown

I'm too old for this, I just can't drink like I use too... but I can't stop myself either.  Just one more... and another... and one more and another round.  Drinking it all down, my head throbbing the whole time...  My hearts gonna give any day now.  I can feel it bleeding through my ribs as I drain another hour out of a bottle, another bottle lost to the sea of my addiction... this infinite ocean of blue euphoria.  I tell myself just one more... and hours pass and I'm still thisty for more.  I fall asleep with another full shot in my hand and that doesn't slow me down.  Doing the same ****** thing in my sleep, dreaming only makes it worse.  In this ethereal state every part of me is drunk and drinking nonstop... Here my heart is obnoxious and loud, shouting its lungs out... bragging about how wasted and trashed and how ******* good it feels.  Buying round after round for the rest of me.  I can't stop it, not a single aspect of me able to refuse the poison being poured into glass after glass.  Its stronger than *** or whiskey or moonshine or the devils sweat or gods blood... The glass never even had to touch my lips and I was hooked.  Now every minute of every hour of everyday, there is not a single moment when my heart isn't  drinking in another as it beats in this drunken dream.  In every glass and every bottle and every shot is a picture of you

We fall in love
Deep mad love
And everything
Everything about life
seems better
We hold hands
Kiss tightly and long
We get lost between
Slow *** and hard
reckless *******
We stay up late
with the stars
and catch the sunrise
We phone and talk
about nothing
and anything
and lose ourselves
in laughter and
forget to care about
what time it is
And time passes
and we get comfortable
We get so ******
comfortable
that we forget about
the fire
the madness
and slowly we take
love for granted
We laze around it
We wander from it
in the grocery store
the long car rides
we carelessly ignore it
during what was once
love making and not
just killing time or
just ******* to ****
And the fire dies down
And madness packs up
And soon enough
mouths no longer kiss
and hands dont hold
and then
theres yelling
and finger pointing
and blame tossed around
And we forget about love
We forget how it all happened
How we got so
****** comfortable
and we lose it
and we find misery
and then misery gets
so ****** comfortable
and we enjoy it
We enjoy being miserable
and we just gotta laugh
about how stupid we
can be

Trust the nobility of monsters
Over the hearts of men
There is more safety
Between the teeth of wolves
Than in the hands of man
Hell had no quarrel with heaven
Until the king wrote it so
For the devil and god
Are but the same soul
Split in two
By the wicked bone knife
Of human sin
The thirst of evil throats
And need of gold
And populace control
Made false history
And prophets
To control
The right and wrong
And moral view
Release your minds
Imprisonment
Know that
The miracle of you
And this gift
Of your breath
And moment
Were not meant
To be wasted
On shame
Of sins you have not
And will not commit
To lust for love
Is a gift
Buzzing freely
In the air
Fill your lungs
Let hearts burst
Live free from guilt
Free from fear
Of wrathful gods
If they gave us life
For any other reason
Than to love
Let it be them
That are forever
Bound to the
Hell of which
Their false preachers
Speak
While molesting
Children in plain sight
And never having
To make amends
Trust in leathery wings
Of dragons
Before bowing
To false kings
Of righteousness
Wearing crowns
Overflowing of
licentiousness

Out on the road to nowhere
Found in the middle of love
Soul of the apple tree man
Known only to those
That recognize the magic of love
And the love in magic
He isn't known too spend time
With those who only eat
But never plant seeds
He is a little like you
And a little like me
And he only speaks to those
That understand the language
Of leaves
You will only find him by chance
By chance of falling in love
And finding those who have fallen
To find them is his fate
To share his apples
And to help them plant seeds
Seeds that will bloom
Hope and romance
And tall never ending
Trees of fruit and shade
And the secrets of love
And the language of leaves
Sticky sweet sap from his bark
And his branch
The heart of the apple tree man
Bleeds for me loving you
And you loving me
Out on the road to nowhere
In the middle of love
The soul of the apple tree man
Smiles for the magic of love
Held in our hands holding our hands
And softly the breeze
Tells of an infinite love
In the language of leafs
Sitting below the shade
Of the apple tree man
My flesh the paper
Your heart the words
Everyday a new story
A story of love
Of how love
Never ends
Never ends
As the story
Begins again
And again

Silence breaks over me
And echos in shards of doubt
I can hear madness laughing
And the devil howling
But I have no need to see the moon
To turn me into beast
When I have something more beautiful
In my longing dreams of you

The morning light only became beautiful
as it reflected off the soft skin of your face
the smile dancing playfully on your lips
the dreams still awake in your eyes
and what light could be more beautiful
than the radiance of the song of your heart

to witness such splendor
to be a spectator of such graceful miracle
if this is not heaven
the room you adorn with dreams
from the flowers of eternity
then there is no heaven
there is only you
you and love

I want it all
All the good
All the bad
Push your hair
From your face
Wipe away the tears
And when you need
Sit and cry with your pain
Until its consumed by us both
Becoming each of ours to bare
Whatch you dance with
Monsters of gloom and doom
And take over when your feet hurt and start to bleed
Sleep with your demons and depression
Absorb their tooth and claw
No pain of yours would I not share too
Never see the moon again
Never dream under the star filled sky
I would die by your side
Ask nothing in return.
I don't need heaven
There's no paradise
Worth staying in without you

To love you
All of you
I would glady stay
Eternaly in hell

Cold, lifeless, steel...
A barrel, a trigger...
An ounce of lead...
A hammer pounds and thunder booms
Another death in another classroom

And why?

You say it’s not the gun
and yes to some degree
there is truth to that
but it’s also true that
to some degree it played it’s part

it’s not the whole of the problem
but its there in the equation
written out for all to see
in the blood of the innocence lost
multiplied by the tears
of the mothers and fathers
and brothers and sisters and friends

that must now live sitting at the dinner table
minus one less face and its smile and its laugh
and its eyes full of endless wonder
by dividing its future from its past
equaling the end of its life far too soon

And why?

Because...

Cold...
Lifeless...
Steel...
Has more cash exchanging hands
To protect its right
To protect its promotion
To protect its distribution
To protect its ability to ****
Easily and rapidly

COLD...
LIFELESS...
STEEL...
Has more value to politicians
Than the warm blood
and bones and flesh
Of our children
Of their schools
Of their education
Of their safety

COLD...
LIFELESS...
STEEL...
Has millions and millions being spent
While we ignore our broken schools
and our long over due need
to reform our educational system
and this is no coincidence
an uneducated mass is easier to distract
with age old rhetoric
keep them cookie cut
and packaged and boxed
mental slaves to the **** tube
programmed to love

Cold...
Lifeless...
Steel...

Leaving behind...

cold, lifeless, bodies...

Endless eyes of wonder
That wonder no more
Smiles that no longer laugh
Lungs full of blood instead of life
Hearts with holes no longer whole
no longer beat
Hands that don’t draw
Feet that don’t dance
Nothing more now
Than a body to fill a coffin
And a name for a family to grieve
through a lifetime of sorrow

And yet the
Cold, lifeless, steel...
With its barrel, trigger...
And pieces of lead...
Still hammer out thunder and death
At a moment of anger
And the ease of
a squeeze of a trigger
a trigger so easy to reach
so easy to pull
and just like that
leave behind

cold...
lifeless...
bodies...

All poetry is horrible
the same way all babies are beautiful

you can’t say
what happened to that babies face
they same way you cant say
that poem made me cry
from places I didn’t know I had tears

so yea

your baby is the most
absolutely cutest thing I ever saw
and your poetry is garbage
pure garbage

but just like people
who can’t stop having babies
ugly babies
cute babies
adorable babies
not so adorable babies

we cant stop writing poetry
no matter how bad it gets
no matter how horrible they are
just keep writing

I mean we can’t just be *******
to make babies
there’s more to ******* than that


right?

Somedays the loving gives into the crying
Somedays the living calls out for the dying
Somedays the silence can't quite the screaming
Somedays the only thing moving me is falling for you

Here we are stark naked and mad
men and women and children of lunatics
screaming in the face
of the politics of war
and the war of politics
and its all the same to us
as you're the same old hateful man
feeding his blind dog
the bones of our innocence
and we can hear the fear
in your wheezing breath
as you try to feed us the same
*******
as your fathers father before you
and your blood is thinning
and running cold
and your hate machine
is rusted and old
and your busy spinning
and inventing new ways to lie
but all we hear is the same old
hollow alibi
and we have no currency to invest
in your insistence that the cost
of freedom
must be our children's deaths
but the only truth to your ideology
is that our dead bodies are needed
to profit your tombstone makers
and your bomb droppers
and your missile launchers
and the rat-a-tat-tat song
of the made to order machine guns
and like a true showman of illusion and deceit
you hide behind the curtain
and pretend the problem
is more or less control
while in the dark back alleys
that lead to children sweating away
you manufacture bullets of hate and rage
and flood the market with minnows
with bellies full of lies
and it doesn't matter how many times
we change the face of the puppet
when the puppeteers stay the same
shiny new strings don't mean a thing
when its the big hands of big business
and big banks
attached to small minds
that only give a ******
about their own oily hides
that make the marionette dance
and it's all smoke and mirrors
when it comes to the open mic
and the delusion
of the freedom of choice
and we're tired and we're starving
and we're sick and we're feed up
and we're desperate and we're volatile
and we're ready to stand our ground
and we're ready to push back
it's far past the time for a change
and we don't want another needless war
but we can't let you claim to have
another bloodless war
for if there is blood to spill
it's gonna be mixed with yours
and your history of hate
is headed for its long past due fate
and you have failed to divide us
with your repetitive rhetoric
of blaming the poor for being poor
and the sick for being sick
and the old for being old
and you've thrown out all the dignity
of the words
"that all men are created equal"
by slowly trying to strip us one by one of equality
trying to sell fiction as truth
to pass laws to fatten the cats
that scratch your back
you can discriminate
but united will stand against your antipathy
to the color of our brothers skin
and the strength of our sisters minds
and the age of our fathers and mothers hearts
And here we stand together
stark naked and mad
men and women and children
of lunatics

Tired but not asleep
Dreamful but not dreaming
Looking through the ceiling
Imagined moon
And countless stars
Touching your ethereal skin
Hell trembling and
Heaven breathing deep within
I know the taste of your lips
Although we have never kissed

Only in dreams
Have I felt your *******
Your weight ontop of me
Heard your whispers
And your moans
Known the fire of your soul
Bathed in the colors of your heart
Dreams of desires lustful rage
Taste the salt between your legs
But only while lost in sleep
Have I ever known you beneath these sheets
Illusions of wanted love
Ghost of things that have not been
Leave their fingerprints
On my hardened skin
When the sun comes crawling in

I have no shame
I have no pride
Only this love
That burns inside

She wore a short black dress and had an arrow through her chest
She preferred to carry a hand gun over a hand bag
And the barrel was usually hot and leaking smoke
She carved coins out of the back of deaths skull to wear over her eyes
She wasn't blind
She just didn't need to see and moved better in the dark
Rumor has it shes the only person Cupids poison couldn't control
And she had feud with the little feathered fellow
She had broken more than her fair share of hearts
And she knew he was to blame
She traveled the world to hunt him down
She eventually found him in a bar north of a dream
And downwind of a Singapore sling
She slammed down three shots of whiskey
And ate the worm at the bottom of a broken bottle of tequlia
She paid her tab with a gold piece she had taken off the body of a dead god
Then Cupid and her stepped outside
A few moments later the thunder of a single gunshot rang out
And then a cold silence and a chill wind swept over the town
No one saw what happened that night
But the horizon tells a story of a women in a short black dress
Riding a horse slowly towards the sinking sun
With an arrow in her chest and a smoking gun at her side

I fell asleep but couldn't dream
so I walked through the mist
and echo of a black blanket
under a starless night
I came across a nightmare
crying under a leafless tree
naked and exposed with
soft skin and milky breast
Her lips were the color of poison
but her voice carried
no trace of a lie
As she said all she had wanted
was to kiss the moom
under a dark magenta sky
She promised me she could lead me back to dreams
If I would just take her hand
and let her walk with me
So our fingers entwined
and we walked miles
of soft footsteps
and shy glances
She would giggle and blush
from time to time
It had begun to feel
as if she had lost her way
and our journey would never end
When she suddenly stopped
and motioned she had
something to whisper in my ear
I leaned in close and she laughed lightly and said
"Your clothes fell off sometime ago... we are both naked now, so this must be your dream... before you go may I ask of you one more thing?"
She stopped whispering and
moved her mouth in front of mine and said the last part with
her eyes...
I didn't know it then
but that would be
my last first kiss
and now I am the moon
hanging dreamless
in a dark magenta sky

She wears beauty like a sin
and weaves witchcraft out of thin air
and there is an endless wonder
in the emerald jewels of her eyes
and something sweet in the secrets
and mischief in the color
and shape of her lips

poetry dances in the silver white flames
of her hair
and the silk of her skin
seduces with beauties perfection
she is everything of want
that overflows and drenches
every need in abundance of satisfaction

my breath and my blood and my pulse
belong to her alone
and she is a dream within a dream
within a secret kept by the stars
and known only to the time
of dying leaves

ribbons of black velvet
stripped down from the night sky
have me tied down
and ready to be sacrificed
to her name and her image

I lay silent and still
waiting for her hand
to crack open my ribs
and pull out what’s left
of my heart
and stitch back
the splintered and broken pieces

and I feel the touch of her gaze
and the soft hands of her kindness
build something new
out of something ruined
and I feel as if love
has never known ache

and she starts to fade like a dream
within a dream
and she stops for a moment
and gives me a glimpse of eternity
shaped like the colors of her eyes
and whispers in the language
of witches in a voice
with the last warm breath of autumn
and I wake with the taste
of her secrets and mischief
still burning on my lips

Please don't fly away yet
My red feathered bird
With endless ocean eyes of blue seas
Stay at least one more day
Where my heart will dance forever under
Your songs blissful grace
And If the moon you must chase
As the sun gives itself to death for night
With forever tucked safely underneath your wings
I shall wait for chance of your return
And live through long lonely days
And cold endless nights
No heartache or ruin in my chest
Just a smile spread cross my lips
At the memory of your hand
That touched my soul
And lit the eternal flame
To light the fire
For my heart
To dance
Around and round
Forevers days
And the beauty
Of everything
Of you

There is a moon
over Tennessee
and it is killing me
with its soft
moon light red lips
and don't you wish
you were here hips
her dark eyes telling stories
from the west side
of the tracks

if it isn't magic
that she makes
from her fingertips
out of the nothing
in the night air
then it must be love
she sculpts out
of these small moments
of eternity

the moments she shapes
into stars that shine
with flames of poetry
close enough to read
but just out of reach
never to be held
never to be touched

there in the sky
they hang
and they sing
with that moon

that moon over Tennessee
that moon
that is killing me

She wove the morning light into a dress
the colors of daydreams
and smiled a mischievous smile
full of wonder and love and magic
she could steal your heart
with just a glance
and when she did
she would treat it
only with grace and kindness
and give it wings
and place it gently back in your chest
lighter and more beautiful than before
for having been held by her hands

Such a beautiful mind
Such a delicate heart
Such a burning soul
What else could I do but fall
What else could I do but dream
Where else could I be than love
Such lovely eyes
Such fragile lips
Such a heavy soul
What else could I do but wish
What else could I do but want
Where else could I be than love
Such heavenly pictures
Such woeful verse
Such mad mad soul
What else could I do but long
What else could I do but cry
Where else could I be than love

When time and wind and earth
Has stripped away our skin and flesh
And turned our bones to dust and ash
What then will we remember of what we were in life that was beautiful
What do dead eyes dream of when they become ethereal ghosts
Of echo and mist
And the heart has long since flown away to another life
To love and break and scar and love
And watch another cage made of bone
Age and rust and fade away
To time and wind and earth
And slowly forget what in life was beautiful
What then can dead eyes do
but dream
And count the colors of
Time and wind and earth
And see the echo of the mist
Of what makes all things beautiful
And in the vision of this fog
What do dead eyes dream
But the dream of
life and love
And love and life
of all things beautiful

The children of the cloud live high above the places we all call home
They play and laugh with the sun all day
Way up in the stratosphere they collect the things
That our hands do lose
From kites with tails
And ballons with strings
Folded paper shaped like planes and cranes and flying things
And hearts badly broken
And hearts sad and lonely
And hearts far from home
The children of the cloud
Love all the things we lose
They run with the kites and chase their tails
They dance and jump from ballon to ballon and play hide and seek with every string
The race and zoom and vroom with every type of paper wing
From folded birds to creased precision fighter planes
And the hearts
They love them best
The gently mend the broken first with thread entwined with purple colored rain
With innocent kisses they wipe the tears away and tell tales of comfort and of places where no heart is every lead astray
With stray soft clouds they shape and sculpt brand new wings
They teach each and every heart that has forgotten how
How to laugh and play and sing and fly again
Every heart loved with gently care
Each heart made welcome and at home
They can stay high above or go back down below
No rush for the hearts to decide
The children of the cloud are grateful for their time and the  chance to help
And each and every heart is let known before they go
Whenever needed
The children of the cloud will welcome them back to their home
High above the stratosphere
To play and laugh and sing and fly with the sun all day

If you're going to love someone, love them completely and madly and give them the entirety of your heart and fill that heart with the true song of love and sew wings on its back and let your love soar freely and bravely and let it block out the sun and  comfort the aches of the moon  and let its every beat lay down a brick to build a road that will out last time itself
Do all of this and more
Otherwise all your "I Love You" 's are nothing more than an empty breath and a shallow action, the poor reading of a fairy tale full of more woe than wonder, more faries of ill intent than dragons of light and hope,  a story destined to end in sobs  and heartache  and tragedy

The sickening beautiful pain of it all
What I wouldn't do to stop playing the part of the heart sick  fool
I must be addicted to this kind of misery
I'm a schmuck and a fraud
What do I expect to happen
If I ever actually get around to my "big" confession
I've already done everything but say it flat out
And you're wiser and smarter than me
So I'm sure you already know...
Charles Bukowski said it best,

"Find what you love and let it **** you.
Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness.
Let it **** you and let it devour your remains."

So lets just skip to the end and let me hand you this gun
If you can't pull the trigger I'll survive
I really won't mind being stuck here
In the sickening beautiful pain of it all

She moved like the fairytale of flowers
She had the grace of the gentle scent of rain
With butterfly eyelashes and loves red lips
Soft porcelain cloud white skin that hid heaven and hell within
Before I even opened her book I could tell she was the beginning of my end
I held my breath through every page
And with every word another part of my heart was stole
And I was completely lost in this story where I found
Love and forever had no end