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Akira Chinen Jul 2019
one of these days before
there is no light left in my eyes
no movement in my chest
no air to exit my lungs
I will tell you how I fell  

maybe you already known

I will tell you how you made
my heart a happy place
with the time we spent
in the same rooms

how you turned earthly moments
into heavenly breaths
by showing me your heart
made out of sunshine

and how brightly and beautifully
your heart inspired my own
to know and feel love
beyond any I would have
dared hoped for
dreamt of
or possible imagined

how every moment with you
was a gift I could never
be grateful enough for
a debt beyond any
I could repay in this life

and that when
there is no light left in my eyes
no movement in my chest
no air to exit my lungs

that my heart will remember...

it will remember the light and beauty
of your sunshine heart
and all the love you inspired it
to know and feel
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
too many of us waste the day
looking for answers to questions
we have completely forgotten

we are lost out on a road
that is going nowhere
we sleep in beds
that are dreamless

we fill our hearts
with artificial sweetener
because we fear being alone
our bodies sit side by side
while our minds drift off
to separate worlds
and we define this as love

strangers to each other
strangers to ourselves

we ignore our true passions
our true desires
afraid of the fire
afraid of letting our blood
bleed through our chests
afraid of the only thing
we shouldn’t fear

the true beauty of love

and if we could face our fear
what would we find
what questions would we ask
if we found ourselves in front of

the true beauty of love

would we have any questions
or would we only have the answer
to a question that
never had to be asked
that never dared wander
through the chambers of our hearts
the hallways of our minds

then were would
this road take us
what dreams would
we find in our beds

what would we become
if we filled our lives
our lungs
our hearts
with the true beauty of love
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
and it happens
as it has before

love

beautiful
sharp
deadly

just a brief glimpse

my heart rejoices even though
it knows it will soon break
and even then as all the pieces sink
into the pit of my gut
into the nausea of my tears
each shattered chamber
will sing your name softly

there is no cruelty here
only the kindness
of what makes you beautiful
an undeniable inspiration of love
the sun of your heart
causing flowers to bloom
in the cavity of my chest

even if only for an hour
an hour that will last through eternity
be remembered after time crumbles
live long after I have been buried
and my name forgotten
by the wind and the trees

this love will follow me
will live with me
from this life
into what ever lies
in waiting in the next
into the unknown
the unknowable

and with this love
whatever I may meet and find
I will greet it with a smile
and i will show it this love
and it will say in all the truth
it has to offer
that it is the most beautiful thing
it has ever seen
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
love...

what else in this world
in this life
in our short existence here

tell me
what else makes
any of this worthwhile

how many illusions do we chase
how often do we uselessly spend our time
running endlessly as if time has no end
leaving today unused as we wait
for tomorrow to become
another tomorrow
yet always leaving tomorrow
as empty as we left today

is your heart just keeping
a dead carcass alive
is it just beating to push
stagnant blood through your veins
what moved you today

was it love

or did you just go through the motions

what purpose did your breath have
what did you breath in
what did you exhale

was it love

or was it just a waste of breath

love is as simple
as a flower blooming
a child scrapping their knee
a leaf aged and falling from a tree
an ant marching
and it is always there
but somehow we leave it
unnoticed on the sun rays
we fail to smell it
cooling on our windowsills
to feel it in the marrow
of our own bones

how often do we deny it
do we deny it from ourselves
do we turn from it in fear
fear of its beauty
fear of its pain
fear of its fragility

its vulnerability

when will we learn
that in this world
in this life
in our short existence here

it is the only thing
that makes it all worthwhile
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
They say we must fight to have peace
we must be prepared for war
we must be willing and ready...

and I wonder...
where is the math
in what equation
can this possible lead to peace

where does a gun plus a gun
add a plane and a tank
drop a bomb
subtract a life
multiply the bodies by death
take a way the future
from the boys pretending to be men
minus the weight of blood
from the additional price of pride
weigh the value of the stones
planted above the freshly dug graves
count the number of tears
from the grieving mothers
collect the broken pieces of the hearts
from the children that will never know
the voice of their fathers
divide it all up
and let the wealthy enjoy the feast
provided by the misery we endure
as we sacrifice our children
to keep the peace

the peace...
where is the peace in this
what war was won
that defines this as peace
and who was the winner
who did the gods favor
on what side did death
cheer and rejoice in

how many graves do we have to dig
and fill over and over again
how many children crusades
will we watch before we admit

god ******

there just ******* kids
killing kids
our children
murdering one another

how long will we purposely allow
this ****** definition of peace
to perpetuate the hate
that keeps war alive
this ugly excuse that does nothing
but bury any path to peace

to love

to humanity
learning to be humane
to one another

fighting for peace
will never add up
to the end of war
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
I walk out into the night naked
with only my skin and bones
my blood and breath
leaving my name
and my human sins behind
footsteps echoing into the nothing
one after the other
watching the everything
dissolve into the milk black sky

clouds spiral out beyond the atmosphere
I crawl through countless stars
and wave farewell to the moon
then swallow the sun
and watch the earth spin
spectacularly out of control
as gravity fades
and all the planets
are set free from their orbital bonds

I see a glimpse of a dream
mourning the death of eternity
and watch the last
of all the cuckoo clocks
lose track of everything
that gave time meaning

sanity comes full circle
as all the madmen crumble
hanging from the noose
of the wits end
there is no laughter here
only a joker out of jokes
except for the one
we’ve all heard before

knock knock
nobody’s home
and the light is just pollution
killing the view
of a once beautiful river of midnight

the horizon just a blur
of a destination no one dares travel
no one hungers with desperation
in the heartbeat of the living dead
civilized savages of casual cruelty

blink twice and look away
heads down with mouths stitched closed
minds caged in self doubt and fear
with nothing to fear
but the willingness to live free
free from the comforts of mental slavery

repeat what needs repeating
repeat history
its no mistake
read from the cue cards
repeat the abc’s
just parrots and lemmings
singing for crackers
marching one by one
slowly toward death

further and further away I go
from the memory of names and sin
dissolving into the nothing
until I am lost beyond finding
out in the middle
of the never never
of the ever ever
just skin and bones
blood and breath
naked in the night
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
There is no fixing what is broken
there is no raising the dead
you are just a dream
a promise of light
a path to better days
not made for me
my youth has been spent
and wasted
and yours still much alive
with much more to go
what awaits you
has much more to give
than I could match
I wish I could stay
give into this dream
love you with all of my heart
that is so desperate to love you
utterly
  completely
give all of itself to you...

but I am just a scared boy
living in a body that is growing old
a fool and a coward at best
more than forty years have passed
with likely less than forty to go
it's all been a blur

and what I have found in you
I have found too late in my life
love beyond perfection
life beyond beautiful
a sudden rush of euphoria
a glimpse of a eternal happiness
a visit from the pure joy of forever

I am grateful beyond words
indebted beyond times end
you have given me too much already
I am humbled and inspired
lucky and blessed to have seen
your hearts beauty
to have been touched
by the warmth of your kindness

but who am I other
than someone broken
with something dead inside
gazing up at a dream
I wish i could reach for
had time to nurture
to watch grow beautifully

who am I other than
a fool and a coward
to be afraid of love
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