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Akira Chinen Jul 2019
They say we must fight to have peace
we must be prepared for war
we must be willing and ready...

and I wonder...
where is the math
in what equation
can this possible lead to peace

where does a gun plus a gun
add a plane and a tank
drop a bomb
subtract a life
multiply the bodies by death
take a way the future
from the boys pretending to be men
minus the weight of blood
from the additional price of pride
weigh the value of the stones
planted above the freshly dug graves
count the number of tears
from the grieving mothers
collect the broken pieces of the hearts
from the children that will never know
the voice of their fathers
divide it all up
and let the wealthy enjoy the feast
provided by the misery we endure
as we sacrifice our children
to keep the peace

the peace...
where is the peace in this
what war was won
that defines this as peace
and who was the winner
who did the gods favor
on what side did death
cheer and rejoice in

how many graves do we have to dig
and fill over and over again
how many children crusades
will we watch before we admit

god ******

there just ******* kids
killing kids
our children
murdering one another

how long will we purposely allow
this ****** definition of peace
to perpetuate the hate
that keeps war alive
this ugly excuse that does nothing
but bury any path to peace

to love

to humanity
learning to be humane
to one another

fighting for peace
will never add up
to the end of war
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
I walk out into the night naked
with only my skin and bones
my blood and breath
leaving my name
and my human sins behind
footsteps echoing into the nothing
one after the other
watching the everything
dissolve into the milk black sky

clouds spiral out beyond the atmosphere
I crawl through countless stars
and wave farewell to the moon
then swallow the sun
and watch the earth spin
spectacularly out of control
as gravity fades
and all the planets
are set free from their orbital bonds

I see a glimpse of a dream
mourning the death of eternity
and watch the last
of all the cuckoo clocks
lose track of everything
that gave time meaning

sanity comes full circle
as all the madmen crumble
hanging from the noose
of the wits end
there is no laughter here
only a joker out of jokes
except for the one
we’ve all heard before

knock knock
nobody’s home
and the light is just pollution
killing the view
of a once beautiful river of midnight

the horizon just a blur
of a destination no one dares travel
no one hungers with desperation
in the heartbeat of the living dead
civilized savages of casual cruelty

blink twice and look away
heads down with mouths stitched closed
minds caged in self doubt and fear
with nothing to fear
but the willingness to live free
free from the comforts of mental slavery

repeat what needs repeating
repeat history
its no mistake
read from the cue cards
repeat the abc’s
just parrots and lemmings
singing for crackers
marching one by one
slowly toward death

further and further away I go
from the memory of names and sin
dissolving into the nothing
until I am lost beyond finding
out in the middle
of the never never
of the ever ever
just skin and bones
blood and breath
naked in the night
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
There is no fixing what is broken
there is no raising the dead
you are just a dream
a promise of light
a path to better days
not made for me
my youth has been spent
and wasted
and yours still much alive
with much more to go
what awaits you
has much more to give
than I could match
I wish I could stay
give into this dream
love you with all of my heart
that is so desperate to love you
utterly
  completely
give all of itself to you...

but I am just a scared boy
living in a body that is growing old
a fool and a coward at best
more than forty years have passed
with likely less than forty to go
it's all been a blur

and what I have found in you
I have found too late in my life
love beyond perfection
life beyond beautiful
a sudden rush of euphoria
a glimpse of a eternal happiness
a visit from the pure joy of forever

I am grateful beyond words
indebted beyond times end
you have given me too much already
I am humbled and inspired
lucky and blessed to have seen
your hearts beauty
to have been touched
by the warmth of your kindness

but who am I other
than someone broken
with something dead inside
gazing up at a dream
I wish i could reach for
had time to nurture
to watch grow beautifully

who am I other than
a fool and a coward
to be afraid of love
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
Why would I say such a careless thing
what right do I have to be so reckless
so foolish
to give you something so heavy to hold
something bigger than I could ever be
something I could not hold on my own
to give you this burden
and hope you would see it as a gift

this broken
this ******
this bruised
this used up part of me...

the boy who never speaks
the deathly shy one
always afraid
always trembling inside
the coward that I keep so deeply hidden
no one could know
he is the largest part of me

the quite one
finally has something to say
someone to say it to
the words that always
get stuck in his gut
and never make it up his throat
and out his mouth
set loose upon your ears

and why
what good could these words do
when passed from me to you
would it not be better to keep them
to lock them up
in the chambers of my heart
what could I possibly hope to gain
by giving you something

so broken
so ******
so bruised
so used up

when I know you deserve
more than I can give
better than I can be

is it to push you away
to send you out of my life
to make it easier to pretend
that there is nothing I want to say
nothing that I am
completely desperate to express

is it only to watch you break
what is already broken
bleed what is already ******
bruise what is already bruised
find no use in what
has already been used

so I can quietly walk away
as if I had said nothing at all
felt nothing at all
and go back to my comforts
of quite solitude
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
every inch of you beautiful
the perfection of sin
the definition of love
but all I could hope
or dare dream
is but a moment
to get lost in the heaven
blooming eternally
in the celestial spheres
of your eyes
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
I pulled the book off the shelf
ran my fingers down the spine
and then up again
feeling the magic bound within

I wept inside with tearful joy
my heart listening to the happy songs
from the pages waiting to be opened
read intently
gazed at endlessly
and finally turned

I held the book to my chest
hugged it tightly
as tightly as a mother
hugging a child
she thought lost to war
a husband hugging his wife
afraid if he let go
he would wake
and find his wife
had just been a dream
a child hugging everything
and anything

this book that is as much of my heart
as my hearts own flesh and blood
this book
the first book that taught me
life and love are so often the same thing
in all of their beauty and joy
all of their desperation and despair
love and life
pressed between
and printed on
the pages of this book

a good friend
a friend from long ago
an old friend
that will never grow old

the book opens
and my heart applauds
Akira Chinen Jul 2019
The morning light only became beautiful
as it reflected off the soft skin of your face
the smile dancing playfully on your lips
the dreams still awake in your eyes
and what light could be more beautiful
than the radiance of the song of your heart

to witness such splendor
to be a spectator of such graceful miracle
if this is not heaven
the room you adorn with dreams
from the flowers of eternity
then there is no heaven
there is only you
you and love
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