Blocked up for months/
‘Til you gave me diarrhoea/
Drowning in my own ****/
And you keep on feeding me crap/
You’re not an anchor, you’re a crab/
Claw clamped onto my leg/
Dragging me downwards/
Going ‘round in circles/

Drunk without drinking/
The village idiot scapegoat/
They’re blaming me for changes/
As if it used to not be *****/
Your family is ****** up/
Hivemind pigsty inferno/
And God knows that I/
Don’t want to be here, ever/

Yet here I am/
Threatening to destroy you like/
A comic book villain/
And as your Father says/
“Don’t want not ******* apology”/
A pattern has formed/
And there’s a cobweb that looks/
Like a vulture over my head/
Just... waiting to fall./

My mind is a road/
Dead friends cross it/
Never closed it/
Just tried to put other things on it/
It backfired on me/
Face full of exhaust/
Can't run away from the thought/
Mental hamster wheel/
Sorry I missed your funerals/
Hands in my pockets/
Staring at the ground, mumblecore.../
They don't hear me though/
What would I say?/
I think you were good guys/
Hope you passed the test/
And that your graves are awesome/
Always thought I'd own it/
But ghosts are too expensive/
That's a metaphor/
Grief is an unruly stepchild/
I didn't wanna admit it/
We didn't see each other much/
Don't see anyone much anymore/
But I miss you/
I make it sound cheap/
You know me, miserable *******/
My mind is a road/
More like a lost highway.../

I am not a bird/
I’m a rock/
People can’t move me/
Only God can throw me/
Curveball at your brain/
The box is unopened/
I’m on the outside/
Floating through space/
Timeshift jigsaw/
Whiteflash rollover/
Sideways/
Memory overlappage/
Imperfect loopage/
Phasing in & out/
Two turntables spinning/
Vertigo/
Skipping town/
Like a rolling stone/
Let’s rock./

I’m falling/
Asleep/
Falling in/
My sleep/
Never hit/
The Bottom/
Never get to/
The point.../

I’m from Universe E/
And that explains everything/
I don’t belong here/
I have no home to get back to/
I don’t know what’s real/
Living this fake life/
Where nothing beats us up more/
Than the mundane/
Knocked out/
Another wife knocked up/
Another locked door knocked on/
From the inside/
Jobs are jokes/
And me dying totally broke/
Utterly alone in a filthy gutter/
Is the punchline/
Haha/
Happy ending sunburst/
Burnt my skin/
Now I’m read with embarrassment/
Written on my farce/
Like tattooed tears on a robot/
This is not a cry for help/
Charlie Alpha/
Warcry mechanical/
Walking dead battery assault/
Power struggle/
Energy depleting rapidly/
Critical/
And that’s when reality kicks in/
Your ribcage/
Pierce your heart/
With shattered dream sequence.../

This world could break anyone/
I need a brake; downward spiral/
Not the psychotic kind of/
Cracking myselves up./

Lying in bed
Rapid eye movement
Something outside
High-heel shoes
Just someone walking
On the same spot?
Under the window?
Rush... PARALYSIS
Heavy darkness
Demonic laughter
Thirdeye obscured
In my mind?
Somewhere else?
Smile wiped off face
Armless soldier
Wakeup gasping...

I am not your SUNSHINE
I am not your SAVIOUR
I am not your KNIGHT
I am not your SUPERMAN...

I don’t know what you think I am
I’m nothing, wrapped in fat & bad skin
Mr. Nobody; not The Batman
I’m antihero, more like a madvillain
Hands of DOOM at the end of my arms
Deathmetal fingers are the icecold prison bars
Darth-Vaderism: The Force is against you
And everybody chokes up under the pressure
You don’t know what I think you are?
Who’s got who by the throat, & not letting go?
It’s getting hard to breathe, gasping for air
I’d break myself just to puncture that iron lung
The point of no return was shot from a pinky
Bent back & snapped off clean by a liar
I don’t make promises, I say “InshaaAllaah”
But still can’t defuse that **** Fizzle Bomber...

I am not your SUNSHINE
I’m the dark side of the moon
I am not your SAVIOUR
I’m a centaur of the apocalypse
I am not your KNIGHT
Just a nightmare that won’t end
I am not your SUPERMAN
I’m not even a Clark Kent...

Dents in my armour from the inside & out
Calm, but look in my eyes to see the storm
You can dress me up however you want
But I’m still gonna be me under that costume.

Clothing is new
Then it gets old
Is it still the same?
Yes & no
Maybe it gets stained
Maybe a few holes
Is it still the same?
Yes & no...

For all of my “always”
I never ran away from you
Withheld a 2nd chance from you
Or tried to commit suicide
Defending myself yet again
But I will never change, right?
That’s not how it works
I’m not the same, only similar
Nothing is concrete
But everything is concrete
The jungle was organic
Now it’s cold & industrial
The sun is dying, but
I’m still sweating ammunition
For all of my “always”
I never ran away from you.