I lie
through my broken teeth

******* you feels like desperation,
gasping for breath, pleading for skin, gripping like you might slip through my fingers
and breaking only to go down for you again.
You’re so hot on my neck,  
on my mouth,
around my hand
all this want, all your need
while your friends sit in the other room
and talk about how you’re better off without me.

you and I do not blend
We melt
yet I have been soft then hard and soft again
to your unyielding weather.
What do you mean
you cannot come over?
How dare you ignore my pleas for your love like I am just another affectionate fool
It has been us even when it was not
and you know that in the darkest hole of your chest.
Deny me, but you cannot deny the truth forever
and time will never end.

I still wear the lotion you liked 10 years ago
and I feel at peace when I smell you on my skin.
In a decade
someone will hold more of your heart
but I will have all your best memories
and your strongest feelings
and your loveliest moments.
Ours was the best love story
that was never told.

I am sad, but I am happy.

I knew I would not make it long. When I imagine a future, I see gray. There is nothing but fog and my headlights, lowlights, brights- they’re all out. I do not think I worry people too bad, I hope. I know my mom cannot stomach it, though. I do not want her to live in that fear, the type you get when you’re just waiting for something to happen.

I am sorry to you Mom. I know you have given so much. I hope I can give it back in my next life. I am sorry, Bot. I think you will be fine eventually. I am sorry, No. I know you will not. I want to watch you grow up. Dad, you gave so much and yet have seen so little of me. Mom, you too.

I am sorry, BAN for taking one of your best friends. I hope you can forgive me. I am sorry LAN for ditching you last minute. MAM, you will move on better I am sure. You guys know pain, but I am sory nonetheless. I am sorry, C, for starting something I could not finish. I love you how I have never loved before.

Things are hard, but they’re sweet and I think that now is the perfect time to draw it to an end.

Love only what you want for,
spiritually poor
and unsatisfied.

Kids keep keeping score,
who hurts more,
new way to stratify.

Pondering life's meaning
but there is little more
forget how to be alive.

They lied

There is absolutely nothing funny about this feeling.