Without time to myself, I lash out.
With time to myself, I fall apart.
Within time to myself, I break down.
Without time, I’d be happier.
I’d be happier if I ran out of time.

One day, I will be able to count on myself to self-soothe
Instead of calling you a little after midnight
and still being upset.

I punish myself to make up for your forgiveness.
there is some visible part of Me that needs the pain.
i wouldn’t say I am masochistic or a sadist
Each evaluation of self proves both true instantly.
I don’t know if I have it in me to keep working on myself.
I just want to please us.

I shiver at the thought that one day
you might become the one that got away.

If self-fulfilling prophecies lay their claim,
I have sent myself to a early grave.

can i ask you for money again?

under closely monitored air conditionin
knees weak under warm street lights on cool nights
talk about runnin away n runnin from talkin
you gave me a heart attack sayin you were staying
You have a way of always saying just what Im thinking
unless the thing that I’m thinking bout is you
Sometimes I wonder if you can read my mind but never told me
cuz its a lot safer to pretend that you dont have a clue.
I’m ghost writing for a bird who cant read the lyrics
and swallowed her tongue when she saw you with her
Im a ghost riding down the street where we grew up
without glasses or wheels or air

I skipped four meals cuz you talked about her eyes
but i guess that means that were the same after all

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen your smile.
I can feel us change over time
But there is something more than time between us.
More than distance.
Back then, we danced between sparklers and slides and sunny afternoons
Only the sun above us and our future ahead.
On that big hill, we huddled our knees together like little kids
Hiding from the rain and the resonance of Graceland Too,
but you’re the only one hiding now.
I can’t rescue you and I can’t find you.
Back then, I would have cried till I went blind.
Now I just cry.