I know we said we would wait but I'm worried,
Worried that as we spend time apart we will fall apart,
I would rather shut off out minds than shut out our hearts,
Because they say its stupid to act off emotion but everything feels right with you,
If being together makes us both happy why shouldn't we follow our hearts,
I know I would rather have a butterfly effect than be trapped in the prisons of hellfire mentality,
I want you to be the beat to my heart rather than to leave you with a keeper,
When I'm with you the world doesn't seem so upside down,
But when you leave it doesn't feel like my world,
Instead I feel trapped inside a suicide complex,
To insist that I leave would be like saying that I'm not a poet,
I wish for never ending days rather than those sour good-byes,
Because the pain I carry sometimes makes me feel like I am the wrong piece of two,
Now this may just seem like an explosion of poetry but it's really just a wish until the end,
Because you aren't like the others,
Our secrets will become our masterpiece,
Now just trust me with your heart and I'll trust you with mine.

Most artists create masterpieces from paint,
Or from clay,
Or stone,
Some even create musical arts,
But I want to show you I am a different artist,
I do not work with a material,
I do not create something you can see,
I am a poet,
I am not bound by rules, laws, or expenses,
I am not a writer,
I do not publish great novels,
I do not seek great reward,
The only bounds I must follow,
Are that of the words in my mind,
Until I exhaust every word I have the ability to create anything I want,
I have no need for materialistic possessions,
But rather the only thing I seek is that my words will touch someones heart,
While other artists create masterpieces,
I create emotion,
And there is,
No masterpiece like mine.

Before I begin I want to ask a question.
How many of you here have secrets you would never tell anyone?
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Now if you know who I am,
You know I've recently taken to asking questions,
Before I let loose my rhymes and rhythms,
Before I allow my words to do the walking.
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I can understand if you all have secrets that you won't tell anyone,
I do not mean the secrets that you trust to your closest friends or your spouse,
I mean the secrets that will die with you,
It is in human nature to always hide things that we are afraid of,
Some hide them for the simple reason that they do not trust others,
Some hide them because they cause to much pain,
Some hide them because they wish that part of their life had never occurred,
Now if you do not fall under one these three main categories there are hundreds of other reasons,
But for you people that do I understand,
I hide my secrets from everyone because I do not trust them,
To trust them would mean to allow someone else with complete control over my darkest secrets,
Over my life,
I hide secrets because I am afraid of what others will think of me,
Because society has taught us that we have to fit in,
That we cannot be different,
I hide things because of the pain that it brings me just to think of,
Let alone speak of,
Could you imagine if I told people and they brought it up by accident,
I hide things because I myself do not believe,
Or wish not to believe that things happened,
Idiotic stupid things,
Things I never thought I'd do,
So if you ever think that you are the only one with secrets,
Just think of this poem,
And think of this,
If no one in my life new that I wrote poetry until 2012,
What other secrets do I hide.

Some people say I'm a genius,
Some say I'm a natural born writer,
Some even go so far as to say I'm a poet,
But see that is not how I see it,
The way I see it
Is not that of writing or poetry,
But rather expression of emotion.
As I stand at work I begin to assemble phrases, words, and lines,
Because to truly write you must feel,
You must freely write your emotion,
To write the truest thing you must learn to let go of your darkest secrets,
You cannot let someones opinion of your poetry change you,
Because your poetry is your emotion incarnate,
Allow the words to flow from your mind to your pen to paper,
Allow an internal combustion of words because while others create masterpieces,
I create emotion.

Let's take a trip,
Let us enter into mentality,
Thoughts and dreams become scrambled,
Ideas and concepts blended and fused together,
Ideals and beliefs lead you right to the edge,
And then abandon you like childhood dreams,
You become trapped in your mind,
Your mind turns your own creativity against you,
As the bricks and cables you once used to build your world,
Turn on you and begin to assemble into the prison from which you cannot escape,
As you begin to memorize the pathway,
They close and rearrange behind you,
When you finally give in to your mind,
It transforms your prison into reactors,
The cogs of your mind turn faster and faster,
Your strength becomes stronger than your mind,
You begin to break the bonds that once held you,
Just in time for your mind to explode,
You cannot even begin to recognize yourself,
As rage and fury pour from you all other emotion lost,
In a Hellfire of Mentality.

I wanna start by asking a question,
How many of you feel love struck and heart lost,
I speak in a manner which breaks the normal bounds of formal poetry,
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I sit at the kitchen table on Facebook,
The hands on the clock approach midnight,
For the last two days I have pondered a question my friend asked me,
It was stuck in my mind,
The cells of my mental prison,
Awaken,
They fire off thoughts, ideas, concepts, and questions to answer this question,
The echo they create is similar to that of a prison,
This question was solved for my friend but had a much deeper meaning to me,
Now when asked "Will you wait for me?",
What exactly does that mean,
In my case it means so much,
Now out of all these echoes,
One small one stuck out,
A whisper,
Repeating,
And repeating,
And repeating,
Like a broken record,
The idea that I must remove myself,
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The appearance of unfaithfulness is stronger,
Than the thought, concept, or action,
Over the last five years,
I have fallen in love with my best friend,
She knows exactly how I feel and,
She admits that there is something,
Something,
Between us,
She admits although she has feelings for him,
She cannot help but second guess herself,
Over the last five years though,
I have given her reason not to,
I have given the appearance of unfaithfulness,
But...that stops now,
I have realized that "Will you wait for me?"
In my case really means "I will be with you but not until I know you won't hurt me."
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I promise that I would never hurt her,
But I have broken that promise more than anyone,
Yet although she has 1001 reasons to leave she doesn't,
It is from this that I reason that neither of us wants to leave,
The thought of life without her is deadly,
It would take a genocide of heart,
Or a suicide of mind,
To make me leave,
Because this is where you left me,
This is where you will find me,
At the crossroads of what could be,
And the downfall of me.

She is the sun in the rain
She is the light in the dark 
She is the beat to my heart
She is more beautiful than a van gogh
More intricate than a 1000 piece puzzle 
More radiant than the sun
She is stronger than steel
But more fragile than glass
She is amazing in every aspect 
And
Well
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She is the girl I love