a: Favorites

Mar 2014 a

Samantha Ellis

I've been drinking about you baby
trying to drown you out of my head
but the poison makes you stronger instead

I've been smoking about you baby
inhaling you into my lungs
i miss the feeling of touching each others tongues

I've been pill popping about you lately
to make me feel more numb
the fact that i still need you is really pretty dumb

might delete this soon, just something i'm writing to get feelings out while i'm pills at the moment so idk

Mar 2014 a

letters to cupid

Mar 2014 a

Tom Leveille

letters to cupid

whenever i hear a wind chime i think of your voice. i wonder what it's like to be your bedsheets. what it would really be like to understand the jargon in your head. i ******* want to kiss you sometimes and then others i really do want concrete between your hands & my skin. i can't think straight all the time so i wonder if it benefits me at all to explain what it means that i don't want or expect anything from you but if we accidentally liked eachother in that middle school "sort of way" then i wouldn't say no. i want to really understand what you mean when you say "stay" to me in our texts. i wonder if your sleeping pills do to you what they do to me. i'm thinking again about "stay" and maybe i'm choked up on you leaving for school up north but i'll never tell you because get the **** out of here and don't look back especially not for me. stay. your smile, genuine or not tears me in two. i wish every face on the planet had your smile and i am ******* afraid of you wearing lipstick. i'm terrified of your bare skin and goodbyes. i hate farewells and see you laters. i knew the first time i saw you interact on your phone while drinking coffee the way you text people and how i now do the same thing. i get around read receipts. i sometimes want to hear you say you want.. not so much me, maybe me, but my company. theres a park near my house where i've imagined us paddle boating. i got written up at work once for daydreaming about it. what the **** is in a friendship anyway, decency in a human isn't biological. i get hung up on knee jerks and gut reactions. i want to know what the ******* are thinking about when i look up and you are looking right at me. but then again, i don't. as long as i'm wondering. as long as the door might swing open or closed. stay. go. run. **** your collarbones. **** your chest and skin and lips and everything i hate but crave and might like about you without say so. stay. sit down and explain to me why it is that i care anyway. i am afraid that if i say i want to *******, you'll think i mean *******, and not "*******". i wanna know if any of this sounds familiar and i here i am back to wondering what the **** is going on and why you're looking at me. the hair on my neck stands on end when you do and another thing... **** poetry. i cloud my feelings for you & anything else with the abstract so you'll never really know if i ******* hit rock bottom or not over the fact that i know we will never kiss. somebody just said "**** buddy" on tv and i think sometimes symmetry between irony & circumstance. i have harbored some of these thoughts since the night you said hello to me. i'm sorry i had to get over the fact that once upon a time i wanted to save somebody, and you weren't going to let it be you. i do sometimes think my hands might break you, that you spend your day painting a picket fence in your head that you can't get on one side or the other on. i felt like you didn't want to get up from dinner and i rushed it out the door because i am afraid to start a sentence with so. so stay. i am sorry my words often wear brass knuckles. your smile shoots to **** and if i ever die while you still remember my name i want you to read this or read something at my funeral. i don't know if these butterflies are waiting for me to jump or sit down but they speak up when my phone lights up & it's you.

Feb 2014 a

i miss you

Feb 2014 a

KMD

i miss you

i miss you like the day misses the night
i miss you like a person misses their flight
i miss you when i wake up
and even more when i lay down
i miss you because you are no longer around
i miss you when the stars come out
i miss you when they fade
i miss everything about you
i miss the life we made
i miss the laughter
and i even miss the tears
how can you blame me
when you were mine for 75 years

Feb 2014 a

Disappointment

Feb 2014 a

Hailey P

Disappointment

Every time I check I phone
I expect to see a text from you
And every time there isn't a message
I set my phone down in disappointment
And accept that I am not worthy of your time

Feb 2014 a

Roses

Feb 2014 a

Hailey P

Roses

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I kinda really
Really miss you

Feb 2014 a

My Pool

Feb 2014 a

Hailey P

My Pool

The friend with a pool
No friends ever comes over
I'm too far away

Haiku

Feb 2014 a

A Distraction

Feb 2014 a

L

A Distraction

My mind is occupied by you --
you're always there, awaiting the dark nighttime to stir.
Flashes of your smile appear behind my eyes when they close.
Visions of your eyes haunt my thoughts.
Memories of your voice, reading your poems aloud...

I can't seem to focus anymore.
All I can ever think about is you.

You've become quite the distraction.

But hey, who's complaining?

ImissyouImissyouIMISSYOU

Feb 2014 a

The boy you love(d)

Feb 2014 a

vanessa

The boy you love(d)

The boy you love now has ****** hair in the form of cinnamon crumbs sprouted across his jawline even though he protested he'd never do anything of the sort
The boy you love now loves a girl whose heart is made of stone, her love is nothing like yours, it is cold and calculated, like a killing
The boy you love now won't even look you in the eye, he seems to think the silent treatment will do him some justice even though he was always the more talkative of the two of you
The boy you love now does any drug he can to keep his body numb and stop his mind from drifting to you
The boy you love now questions his existence without you by his side he now sees you in every corner of his mind and cannot go anywhere without hearing your name, you seem to have stolen the hearts of many. Nobody could understand why he left a girl like you, you were every boy's cup of tea even though you were a fan of coffee.
The boy you love now screams at the moon and has withdrawals from your bedside an it's now been a year & nine months since you saw each other last, however you're now the one who sleeps soundly
The boy you love now closes his eyes and details every inch of your body down on paper as he tries to remember the way your eyes glistened to water filled puddles when he told you he didn't love you anymore, He's never regretted anything more in his whole life I can tell you that for sure
The boy you love now vomits on his pride and his spine is withering away the day you burned away all his sweet nothing's he said he felt like he was being branded with cigarettes even though he hadn't seen you in months
The boy you love now thinks he's got it made however in just a few months time he'll be knocking on your doorstep with blood streaming from his face, he'll be broken in two but the question is will you?
The boy you loved now can't stand the taste of coffee because it reminds him of you, no matter how bitter he can't seem to swallow the thought of enjoying anything that makes him remember just how many sugars you liked
The boy you loved now shakes during winter time and is less of a man though he tries not to act like he misses you too much
The boy you loved now can't stand the thought of you with another and by now it's been about 8 years since you saw each other last, but he doesn't utter a word in your direction
The boy you loved is now falling apart at the roots and at 22 he looks like a mental patient, it's only been a few years and he can't seem to leave his room
The boy you loved now hates the smell of coconuts and raspberries & creme because that's what you smelled like most often
The boy you loved is now not the same--without you

*(v.m)

Feb 2014 a

Couple across the room

Feb 2014 a

D

Couple across the room

~          ~             ~

I'm watching the couple across the room
She's Asian and he's Indian
But race doesn't matter,
They're happy, everyone can see it

~          ~             ~

They sit together, side by side
Clicking on keyboards, the monitor alight,
They talk in hushed tones, lips pressed to ears
They're in love with each other, it's so very clear

She leans on his shoulder, breathes in his scent
He turns to face her, plants a kiss on her head
She sighs in contentment, this is their third year
He pulls her in closer to whisper in her ear

~          ~             ~

As I'm watching the couple
Who sits across the room
I find my mind wandering
To thoughts of you

~          ~             ~

When we sit together, side by side
Is there someone who watches, eyes alight
With our love, it sings loud, reaching the ears
Of those who watch us, making it clear

When I lean into your scent, I start to swoon
When you kiss me [anywhere], my heart beats a thousand x two
And I'll sigh because I'm happy, almost half a year
*I'll always love you darling, I just hope you can hear

Feb 2014 a

Definition of fool

Feb 2014 a

D

Definition of fool

I am the definition of fool
I choose to believe you
When you spoke of love and forever
I should have known that
The sky only appears to be blue

I am the center of stupidity
I thought I could control my heart
Tell it to only love you so much
I should have realized I couldn't hold it back
And that you would have torn it apart

I am the queen at being naive
I thought I alone could be enough
To satisfy your needs and wants
I should have known it was a lost cause
But I kept on trying, even when I should have run

I'll keep on trying, until you run away for good

Move on, forget me. You said you're good at that. But know I wont be able to, not for a long while anyway. I fell too hard, loved you too much, to just forget at that snap of your fingers. Remember that.