You fight with your words
And You fight with your fists
You fight just to see if You can make others ******,
But You wouldn’t fight for me.

If I called You out
On all the words that You spout,
On all the ******* that You give
And the narcissistic way that You live,
You would be livid with me.

You would shut down on me,
Give up on me,
And slowly
You would try to forget about me,
But You would never fight for me.

If I told You rashly
How brashly You were reacting
How petulant You were acting
You would loose faith in me,
And be dissuaded from me.
You would begin to hate me.

You act like You love me
And say such sweet words of nothing,
You coo to me in the morning
With happy eyes brightly shinning,
And You swear that You care
But if I were to slightly ruffle your hair,
You would retreat to God knows where.
You wouldn’t fight for me.

You wouldn’t apologize,
You wouldn’t stand by my side
Asking for it to all reside.
You wouldn’t fight for me.
-ALC December 25, 2017

I hate you.
I hate you because I fell in love with you.
I hate you because I fell in love with the real you, and not just some idea I had of who you could be.
I fell in love with your soul,
The complete essence of who you were.
How you were so confident in the goofy human you had grown up to be.
I fell in love with your soul
Before we even held hands,
Before we ever touched,
Before I could stop myself.
I fell in love with you without even kissing you.
I hate you because I fell in love with you,
And because I haven’t stopped.
-ALC March 21, 2018

I am used to knowing what’s going on inside your head, but now I am not even sure if you still feel for me like you once did, and I know that our seeing each other will be fewer and farther between. So I cry, not because I feel like this is a break up, but because my heart has broken in the death of a friendship that I had begun to rely on so much for everything. I cry because I know I have lost such a dear friend.

The sand sinks beneath my feet,
And I feel myself slipping in.
I know what lies bellow me,
Yet still I don’t give in.
Maybe this will be the fall I need,
To snap out of this trance
I have placed myself in.

I watch as earth crashes down bellow me,
I watch as it is dissolved
Into the chasm below me.

My body slips forward,
And I push toward the momentum
Needing to get lost in something,
To feel the sharp snap of fear.

The earth squishes into my sneakers,
And water soaks into my feet,
Earth falls away from me.
I lean in.
And fall.
I Fall into the crevasse
I have opened up before myself.
-ALC November 24, 2017

Sometimes I feel overwhelming emotions,
like my mind is about to explode from my body to be free of this spinning vortex of emotions that makes up my soul.
Sometimes my eyes water with no reason,
And sometimes my body shakes and quivers with convulsions and sobs; and I am not sure where this pent up sadness came from,
Or where its origins lie.
Sometimes a smile sparks across my lips with such stunning simplicity that I am not sure where the rays of light are derived from,
Or where this untapped energy is being sourced.
Sometimes I use up the whole vortex, and am left in the shell.
Not quite happy, not quite sad.
And these are the moments I fear.
The moments where my body feels hallow
And my mind begins to scream at the quietness of my soul.
-ALC September 17, 2017