With you, the words came so easily.
Tonight, it isn’t the same.
I write about feelings
that have sunk to the bottom of my heart,
where it once simply said, “I love you” —
in heavenly symphony.

With my body,
it felt complete —
like tulips and lilies
along the steppes
of a cold hillside,
fluttering,
alive in the fresh mountain breeze.

I regret to inform you,
that place now says:
“I’m afraid. Afraid to love again.”
leaving behind a cold, barren desert.

You’ve gone your way,
and I’m left in a place stuck in time.

Love, as always,
is a bunch of things made beautiful by you
and destroyed by my hands.

I’ve taken a pause from poetry
The words in my heart have turned cold and stale
And the memories hide behind the veil
There’s honestly
Nothing much to say about the jagged edge
Of the knife that cuts every emotion
From its core, leaving an unfeeling soul

I’ve taken a pause from poetry
Because the words in my heart
Have turned cold and stale
Since you left
I couldn’t say the best of goodbyes
So, I’ve immortalized the pain
In the form of broken words
That will dangle at the edge of every sentence
And ruin every poem
Till there’s nothing left to say

With the first beam of light in the morning,
It’s the gleam in her eyes I see
When the birds call to the open skies
For clouds to gather, that’s what I miss.

With the faint drizzle of a cold dawn
It’s the fresh scent of her hair
Like roses in the backyard after rain
Soft and alive in petrichor - I miss that too

With the drops that grace spears of grass in winter
It is her skin glistening in the sunlight as she sleeps softly
I miss her myriad ways
In words that cannot express the ache

With the fiery sun that comes out every greyish afternoon
I think of her
As it moves from place to place, with purpose
I often miss her constance

If only I could tell her
How much I miss her...
How much I longed to love her
She's the tear that hangs inside my soul forever

Do you think

The sun

Knows

That the sunflower

Looks to it

For direction?

But that doesn't stop

The darling bud

From fluttering in the breeze

Completely enamored

And transfixed

By the warmth

Of the sun's thousand tears

Tell me why

When the sun shines

When the moon is out

And the rain pours

I can hear your voice

In the talk of trees

In the walk of the breeze

And the rustling of the leaves

If the night is when I think the most of you
The dawn is when I say farewell to the dark, too

If the morning rain falls like the first whisper of the sky
The silence in my heart is resounding tonight

I've left clues
In the form of metaphors
And allegories

That is poetry
It speaks of a personal truth

The right words
Are hard to come by

The right moment
Comes once in a lifetime

There's a little soul
In the words
I write
I space them out, just right
I guess
And let them breathe
Inserting a messy feeling
In tangled words
But if you look closer
You'll see, it's all about you
It's a song
To the right ears

To me, it is the death of lies
A bit of my truth
Lurks within these lines

You've found the best of me
And shown what I could be
I wish I wasn't so lost
So, I'll believe there's some good in me

Such is the power of saying the right thing
At the right time
Till then
I'm making the best of the times

I'm in over my head
And I can't find the right words
To tell you
This lonely heart is yours

And if you have the strength
To keep at it
Let the power of good intentions
Move you

Since you've been gone
It has been hard
To carry on
The rain falls
And I've immortalised the pain
By putting up these walls
Once again

Today, the sun sets with you
Tomorrow, it will rise with you
Through the warm night
The cold rain will fall lifeless
Heavy as the weight of silence
It will press against the walls of my heart
That you so easily tore down
With your sweet innocence
I've not worked for days
There's no muse to look to
And the nights are wordless
There's no magic left in me
This desolation has signaled no end
It is heard in the chorus of songbirds
It is heard in the heavy heart
When the silence lulls me to sleep
Today, it is your memory
That takes over
The body
Disturbing the peace
To immortalize the pain of losing beauty and joy
Losing a friend
Losing a lover
With soft eyes and strong arms
I write the words, both thin and dead
Holding myself up with burnt out cigarettes
To be drenched in sorrows of the coming days
And to be mourning the loss of love
While awash in the sea
So, I shed the thin disguise, engulfed by the rain
To say my last, earnest, truthful goodbye, through a voice
It is the fragments of a soul that you hear
A tear that hangs here, I assure you
Near my heart, like a faint droplet
The cold rain falls upon the warm earth where angels once flew
It reminds me of you, your touch meant to shed this rough exterior
The storm that often leaves you more lost than before
It consumed me with fear, I've tried to free myself from
The little heart knows the lies I've told it
So, rage hangs heavy on the soul, eternally
In this life, loneliness walks with my every stride
And so is blindness - a shadow over the soul
That it is always the same story
The same goal
I'd never have known the eclipse over the mind
Will form patterns on this tangled soul
Clenching this throat
Till I suffocate
I've seen the patterns appear time and time again
But I can't stop them
From unleashing a world of pain
I expected the same, this time, too
But I am always too late
To show that I care
If you only knew
How much I gave
In my constant battle
To let go and hold on
This is a free spirit, you see
And you are free, too
I know this much
Free from me
That's what I want, truly
If we meet again
You're the horizon
Chained to my broken heart
You're the horizon
And I'm holding up my sails for you
You're the horizon
I'm chained to the sea
For eternity
I'm holding you in my heart, always

I can spend an eternity
Loving you
But your hands will never
Fit mine
As tidily as a novel
Does in my palms

To be loved by you
Feels so nice
To be wrapped in your arms
Feels so nice
To be kissed by you
Would give me life

Your dazed eyes
Set free the love inside

Sometimes
It can be so real
To slip into the distant streams
Of the mind
Wherein lie
All her memories

It may be hopeless
To stay in love with you
But I want to spend every waking moment
Daydreaming

There's a scenery in my mind
You're the flowers
And the rain

I have a heart, too
You're its power
And its pain

There's a ocean in my soul
You're the anchor
And the storm

And there's a body
You're the reason for the heat
And the sudden frisson during dreams

Loving you
Gives me strength
And the sweetest scent

Loving you
Brings me the greatest joy
And the coldest sorrow

So, when I wake up at the dead of night
I know you won't be there
But you'll always be a part of my life

There are so many things to say
The admiration
And the adoration
But I can only give myself time
To take
The love you give me
You break me
And rebuild me
In an instant
You're a somber ocean in the summer
Even a gleeful spring in the coldest winter
Alive and flowing
With the free flowing breeze
You're a wildflower, too
Popping up out of the blue

I loved you from the first moment
I saw you
A lonely star
In the vast firmament
Looking at the celestial skies
Just a glimpse from the corner of my eye
Something only dreamed of
In the coldest corners of the mystic night
You were there
Brighter than ever in the shining bright
I'll lament with all my soul
That in some distant galaxy
You'll have a life of your own
As I sit writing this song
In my apartment of posters, books, guitar, and a sweet dog
Family of my own, an old guitar, alone at home
Drinking in that same moment of sweetness
Tip-toeing in the night sky made of dim-lit rivers
Hung over different women
In some distant life, in some unseen second
We'll share the same city, a serene garden for two
Till then, I'm thinking of you
Let me believe the lies, too
This is the season for living
And it would've been sweet
To have fallen for you

The monster under my bed
Knows I'm afraid
The sullen skeletons in my closet
Can sense as the knife slices into my chains

As I fly into the open skies
A hailstorm latches this empty soul
Back to the underworld
For the rest of my life

I've spent my days and nights with this foe
In the rain, it is the only home
In the sun, it is all I've ever known
The naked reflection is no more

I'm lost beyond words
The ghosts know
You can't bring me back to life
But you may try

If you'd have heard the creaking of the door
As I let go
You'd have seen
All those flowers in my head
Blossoming after all this time
Butterflies in my heart
Taking flight
If you'd read my mind
The easiest thing
Would be to let in the sun
And drive out the dark
Even after all this time
But the hardest thing
Was to turn the key
Close up the spring flowers
Watch the butterflies turn into ghosts
Sitting idle
Starved for the light
And close the door

There's an abyss where the souls meet
That keeps bliss out of reach
Why?
Do we even try?
I've manipulated you all the time
That there's the light
At the end of the tunnel
I'm delusional
In my mind, too
Why do I feel dilapidated all the time
Something has died inside

But there's hope
That I'll look at the flowers
The blue in deepest parts of the skies
And there's a change of heart that sustains life in all beings

It delivers me from my darkest times
It drives me out of the corners of the dying souls of my mind
Why?
Do we even try? For just a moment of peace that gives us power

Watch over me tonight
As I keep replaying the darkness in my mind
Hold my hands so tight, with all your might
I've made your mess mine

Carrying the weight of things unsaid
All that was poured into you
Was filling me, too
I felt the years of abuse fall through

To stay alive, I tell myself all kinds of lies
This frame holds the skin tight
It's a thin disguise
It is a mirror that keeps out the light

I'm blind and can't see my scars
But I'm tired of hiding in the dark
I want to hold you in my arms
Can you find me under the light of stars?

I'm so terrified, you won't heal me in time
A part of me that's poorly designed
I can't give you something that's real
And I can't trust you with my life

But when the light leaves my eyes
Your hands will be over mine
You'll kiss the guilt out of me
Seizing control over my body

I'm hung from this noose, so tired of this ruse
So, I make every excuse
To hide this bruise
From you

So, watch me crumble as I fall into you
So far that I've drowned into an endless void
Watch me stumble from heights
And so far I've fallen this time

I'm so terrified of this
Of vanishing further than
I've ever known
Into a place where I'm alone and facing the abyss

You've reached out a hand
You broke down my walls
I was tired of being alone, too
That I decided to run with you

But I'm not the one
To watch over you
As I wear out my thin mask
To the watcher of worlds, what do you ask?

I've bestowed my love and God already knows
I wanted to share a sliver of sky with her
I wanted her to close her eyes when time slows
To be the warmth for her when it snows

I'm so hurt by the icy words of the broken heart
You've seen where it snows
And where the blood runs clear and cold in the faded dark
I'm so tired of living without light, Death knows

Her knife is so deep inside my heart
When it burns with love, it twists and turns
When it yearns for ***, it thrills and swirls
As she takes my life under the cold blue stars

I see the sword moves
Within every crevice
And swerves with purpose
The knife moves with the words

I'm so tired of being wrong
But I carry your weight and I soldier on
To the watcher of the night
I promise there's beauty inside of you

You've gone to my head
In it there are flowers and promises of tight hugs
Red roses and child-like painted mugs
The autumn leaves have fallen outside my window

I don't know when I last kept track of the seasons
But now that you're here, it feels like spring
A floral perfume consumes me
My mind is empty as the cold sky

When you're in my head
It can shake my heart
Like a storm brings down a strong tree
It's no miracle that I've fallen for you

And the leaves of my dormant heart
Will fall off their branches
The flowers will close their eyes
You're so far away from me

But I know it is autumn for you as well
Remember I'm a face that you can hold
A pair of strong legs that can carry the weight
Shoulders that your curls fall upon in a passionate hug

It's a perfume that consumes my mind
The promise of spring heals me all the time
It is autumn now
Time for both of us to shed yesterday's leaves

Flowers do wilt and die
It seems pointless, yes
But have you seen a bud?
Open its sleepy eyes to the dawn

As if a young child was letting out a yawn
With petals for hands reaching out to open skies
And the sun smiled at it
Telling it to open its arms without worry

Wherever you are
Sitting emptily or reading
My heart will follow you
A ghost walking next to you
Drawn to your love
A memory stuck in the past
It'll fall upon like rain
There'll be days when you'll find it in sunlight
Sometimes, it'll fly like the butterflies
It will be a hug
Even at the dead of night
I've said your name so many times
The moon knows it's for you

In my poisoned arms
You can hear the muffled screams of my heart
Lurking in the shadows is a face
In the darkness, too hard to see

I've been wallowing in self pity
Swallowed by my own delusions
Trapped by my inner confusion
Crumbling under pressure of words

There's some feeling left in there
It is so empty, it is devoid of belief
But I do care now
Because you stirred my soul

I'm a victim of my own carelessness
A lifeless shadow of the past
Has convinced me to let go
Before the first step is walked

If I start now
It need not be perfect, right?
If I find love
It'll be because you walked in my life

When its gently raining, I'll live through it all again
It feels cold as it pours down the drainage hidden below sidewalks
In its rhythm and sounds of drops hitting leaves, empty streets whisper carelessly
There's a hollow bodied rhyme that longs for your sweetness in kisses

Your presence makes my life mean something, it is beyond what I can explain
I can't quite figure it out but it is something in your eyes
The gleam
The way the light dances in your heart and shines through you

When its clear skies outside, those lips are red
There's a place in my heart where it is warm yet unexplored
In the flowers and bees that live in the thriving atmosphere
There's a mighty beating heart that yearns for your strength and lightness of being, too

I've had enough of the beauty of seasons, I've had enough of the reasons to live
I've had enough of me and you being so forlorn from the past
So hurt inside, irreplaceable, irreparable, and broken like the fools

Torn apart from the seams like a book laying on the streets of pain
Where the rain has covered the leather in tears, drops of memories
Gashes form on the cover, your book has my name
Mine has yours, it drips in sweat and heat

I've seen you cry for me in the simplest way a child would
But I've been there in a way that I can't quite figure out
So you've surrounded yourself with the ghosts of your sorrows
And I've held on to the hope of tomorrow, slowly falling into the traps that God has laid for me

Its cold and damp now, I'm misguided you see and the words don't come easy
But they pour like the rain does a cold evening
I've cried enough tears for you, you'd break every time you see me
You've seen me once before in my coldest moment and in my most vulnerable

But not this way ever, I've never felt this way before
There's a tenderness in your heart
Supple skin covers your frame
You're the one who makes me believe in life's good things
It's the littlest things you see, you can hold me in your heart

I wouldn't mind being around you in spirit
Think of me when the day's done, I'll be there in the vestige of the night sky
You'll find me in the dawn's gentle light
It's the littlest things you'll find mean the most to me

My heart has a songbird
That I keep hidden from everyone
Naturally, I thought you were tone deaf too
Just like the others

So I kept the bird caged and alone
With the passage of years
She stopped warbling her practiced notes
I too stopped missing her soothing tone

Maybe she found another home
The bird could have flown anywhere
I had always wondered where it had gone
Knowing it was time that I let go

Until you told me
Something was throbbing in you too
What was confined in me
Was suddenly freed in you

As I sit here, I wait for her
I make new promises
I am confident
She is my solace

The bird with feathers of red autumn
Her tune, marked by joy, is sweet
I hear her blithe symphony
In the park benches, in the hymn of leaves

While beauty is found
In this faded old memory
In the end
Change arrives like an old friend

Once wintry chill arrives
The park turns still
And she is not there
A breeze stirs the sleeping flowers

When the winter's out, I'm drowning
Playing with those old memories, I hope in the silence
Is there any way out of the tired old feelings?
Once choices are made, the heart can't walk away

In the silent hours of yesterday, a fresh breeze woke up the buds
That morning, I'm realized the loss of foolish love
I told myself that it is pointless to think of the past
But it's winter again, it consumes all that is good

I walk on these winter streets
Wishing every time that I'd been better to you
I've left the best parts of me behind
For you to see

It is cloudy outside
As if the rain
Stopped time
And the droplets marked the slow seconds

There's a calm hush
As if the rain
Has silenced the streets
And the droplets disturb just the leaves

The sun is asleep it seems
But once the rain stops
It will all be back to blue skies
And it will become clear outside

The same sweeping rhythm
A cold winter fades
Quick as the summer settles
And the spring walks in like a dear friend

A bird on a solitary tree sings
Every morning in springtime
The flower flutter in a sprightly dance
In utter delight

While the rain drains the skies
The rhythm lives on
And I, in hopes of spring
But I too am like the rain

Take my love in bundles of flowers
I carry it on my shoulder
It is springtime
The blossoms have fallen asleep

When the trees jail the starlight in its silhouette
The spectral beings poisoned by fear
Relinquish their daggers
The moon lands a spell upon the spectators

They cry havoc
Stealing glances from the dark ravens
Casting a curse of their own on the souls
As the light peers in

They twist the trees till they tremble in fear
Soon the soothsayer will walk among us
Broken shards of armor across its body of ice
Through the depths of the dark

The war between night and day
It emerges and soon dies
I'm afraid
Why haven't you drowned me yet?

From songbirds that sang sweet
Out of the thick of trees
And their music flowed
With the melody of crackling leaves

Their voices reached out clear
Fall's branches touching the sudden drizzle
I heard them all
Before they were lost to time

When the mind is gone
An audacious soul remains
It holds up these pillars of dust
Year after year

There's softness in the lull of the breeze
Her tender notes linger in leaves rustling
With soft fingertips upon my closed eyes, every night
She carries white flowers to the blind

Upon this hour
Many flowers of pale white, some pink
Blossom in her solitary backyard
Gently plucked by her frail hands

She gives them away to strangers
Like the breeze carrying blossoms
Some fall upon a running stream
And some, in bloom, on branches

As crimson skies hover at daybreak
A cracked sun looms over us
Rain cascades from the forlorn skies
Her fingertips upon my closed eyes

We were wrapped in warm sheets
She was tense to the touch
Love poured into the empty soul
I'd never known limerence before

Worlds collided, it felt
A tapestry of emotions fell away
The white flowers turned cold
She'd never known peace before

Around my dead remains
A noose tightly bound
When desolation breaks the will
If you don't stand, nobody will

I want no witnesses to my death
When I searched for God
You're all I received
When the rain poured on my skin

It was all enough to complete me
To the demons inside waiting
There are weaknesses to blame
There's no one to forgive me

I couldn't tear myself apart from the seams
A bullet got caught between my jagged teeth
And Death's shroud fell on me
And you took my life

I'm at the end of my rope
And so are others
When no one is alive
Who will take back the power?

And that's alright for the politician
There'll be no witnesses to your crimes
And you've clenched your fists
To ask all of us to rise

And that's alright for God
You've conquered death
You're one of them
Ain't ya?

And that's alright for dead people
Who keep their eyes closed
To violence
They're rotten to the ******* core

To the dead
There's no war
And when we fall in line
There will be no resistance

Often for a disturbed mind
The possibility of dying draws near day by day
Will our fury be enough to wake up God?
Or is he one of the dead, too

My happiness is in my hands
But I've realised
It slips through my fingers
Like sand

There's a girl I'd forgotten long ago
As that summer subsided
The trees lost their leaves
And autumn arrived

I've pretended that I felt nothing
It's been years since we last kissed
But it is summer once again
I'm reminded of her

They come in faint whispers
And frail fingers clutch onto those tired memories
That I can't seem to let go of
At this time of the year

I feel the ache after all this time
Once the flowers begin to bloom, yellow and white
Fluttering in a candid breeze that tells me
She's still out there

The night holds its knife
Close to the threads that hold my soul
It stretches its fingers across the blade
And sends me surging into the starry skies

Until the morning comes with its blanket
Covering all of me with its threads
Renewing me with purpose and life
Each time it stretches

With each passing hour
A frail voice consumes me
I'm left paranoid and hollow
By the time the night creeps in

Like an old stranger walking in my head
Their footsteps rattle me
Shattering the interweaving
That hold this mask in place

My nerves weaken as does my will
Until I think upon the lilies
Blooming in the sleepiest of dawns
I let go of my blanket

The contours and curves
That shape the heart
And the rivers that overflow
Pass through those ridges

A thrum within me
Ebbs, flows, and repeats your name
Until one day
The thunder struck

I felt the scenery come alive
It was the sound of my voice
That called to me
From inside

My head is always a cloudy sky
On days when it turns grey
The sun hides away
And very few play in the rain

The empty streets of my skin
Are pockmarked with lush trees
The rain goes and there's a sunny day
Most hide in the shade

This heart was once a home
A couch caked in dust
Cobwebs have made the corners their residence
Its garden is filled with weeds instead

The harder it becomes to let go
Shake and shiver
Every time you think of her
It is a cure

You know she's carved a part of you
In her heart too
But she'll kiss it away
On a lonesome rainy dawn

I couldn't walk
Another step today
So I wrote this
Line by line
It gave me the strength
That I once lacked
It made me feel like
I had a voice

This mind
This body
This soul
And ah...
I forget that there's a heart

When your voice
Escaped the clutches of the night
I held on tight
In vain

Your eyes that hid under the curls
They've become traces of you

To a girl I once knew
You're only a memory away

Letting you go was the hardest thing to do
So I found my solace on a lonely bench
Under the trees, softly rippling waters sleep
The flowers are alive usually

In this storm, they're looking for the sun
That once promised to rid them of the pain
There's rain in this part of town - I'm drenched
A cold breeze rushes through my shirt

I can feel my shirt flap against me like sails
It's cold outside
I shiver a bit in the hellish wind, frigid and pale
White flowers turn grey

Pools of black water at their feet
There's no will to live or be heard
When I see the leaves flutter
The boughs break

The sky cries
The sun is out of sight
Thunder grumbles, waking the scenery
Animals scurry back to their homes

And this place welcomes me
I've etched you in a long forgotten memory
Stretched it at times
Till it finally tore at the seams

This silent bird sings a melancholic tune
Takes flight - hurtling to the deadly skies dripping with moonlight
Fearful and blind - the bird doesn't care this time
Alive or dead - I've locked it up for life

For years - the chains sank deep through her heels
She can no longer walk on her frail feet
Unable to beat the breeze with the flutter of her wings
The bird has flown against all adverse conditions

Blizzards, storms, and meandering squalls don't give her pause
She has found a life in the journey
Through hurt and pain, she's melded herself to take on
So take on the world

Would it please you to cheat death?
Cause I'm glad she escaped from this cage
And you'll think of me when the little bruises creep up
Your heart will become invincible

With the sheer might of the soul that secures her world
A world that was drained of joy and purpose
The lark dove past the shadows - unguarded by shackles
Dark figures lurk in the woods - killing the trespassers

The moment you escaped, you'd left the cold bars
Of a warm, beating heart
But I'm glad you escaped because you'll bleed dry
More than you ever have

A lull hangs over the trees - a forgotten shell of a vibrant heart
Till a breeze shuffles its feet in the warm earth
Fragile red leaves crackle and fall from the vein-like branches
The silence hangs like a cursed soul

I'm glad she escaped from a corpse
Searching far and wide for a pulse of a stream
Reminding her of the fierceness of youth
This body reeks of a stench that deters the living

Her nerves are weak
A bleeding war rages in the heart
She's running and running out of blind rage
I know she's tormented by the taste of freedom

But I know she'd rather be caged and preyed upon
By leering wolves that hunt her for game and hang her dry
From the branches of the disturbed trees under the moon
I know she escaped and it is my loss

But she's possessed by blind fear that breaks the spirit
In the darkest hours of the night, she plays with the blade
Twirls the thoughts in her head like bullets in a gun
Left ******* and naked by the relentless onslaught of pain

It is the inner doom that she has to soar beyond
And so do I - I've forgotten you and I'm glad I found solace
You can't shatter me with your words because there is a power
In holding tight the heart every time joy walks in

In our best moments
When we gain some control over our lives
An old friend reminds us
There's no grand escape

Trees - miles of gold on a cold autumn day
Outline
The meadow
Tracing leaf-like patterns on the pale grass

Flowers sit at the foot of chinar
Looking to the sun
Peering from the cloudless sky
Upon those sleepy petals

Soon the trees
Will shed their cracked, brittle leaves
To make way
For such a pleasant scene, yet again