On some days
When I'm feeling fine
And the sun peers through the angelic clouds
And I'll catch myself staring
A second longer, at the skies
Really soaking in that fleeting moment
To remind myself that I'm well
But not cured
I'd hit rock bottom almost decade back
Falling to the depths
Closer to madness
Some of those days, I can't remember
Whoever finds this poignant
Trust me
When I say, I find no joy
In telling you that I had no roof over my head
But I want you to avoid
The mistakes I made
Along the way
I'd sleep on some park benches
From time to time
Praying for rain to come
And wash the night off its sweat
I too was tired
Everyday when it was dinner time
From sixteen to twenty seven
It's been a long way
But somehow the change took place
I started working
Had a life of my own
Money of my own
And the future became a bit clearer
My heart a bit kinder
To a clean mind
I never could tell when it all started
To think I didn't get a head start at life
Even fewer get a blank slate
A chance to repair and make amends
Too often
I've held onto regret
To those who I damaged
I carry the weight still
And I hurt myself even now
Bleeding their blood
In a war with myself

There's a certain power
In being happy
And content
When others around you
Just don't care
About whether you live or die

Because it shows you give a ****
About yourself

When you get out
Of a depressive spell
It feels like you've come out
Of the longest hangover
Ever

I must confess, I've fallen in love before
When the leaves settled
Upon the feet of autumn trees
That let the drizzle pool in their palms

I've been in awe of beauty before
That was during a sudden summer
As the heat baked the sheets of linen and satin
That hung neatly on my balcony, letting out the petrichor

I have been kissed, not by her
But by the cold rain that touched my lips
As I looked up at the blue grey skies
Longing for comfort

Although when she'll love me
I'll never know
I know this misery
Will come and go

And so I welcomed the winter
Held its cold, dead hands
Caressed it with tender touch
Accepting that good times aren't meant to last

So, I've fallen again
But this time I think it is for real
And she makes me happy in so many ways
That makes it worth the pain and grief

The play of the seasons
That come and go
Like life's small victories and love's blindness
Remind me, this too shall pass

At the quiet hours of a starless night
In a hushed town
I wait for you in a cafe in a crowded street
Wanting to tell you

You are the warmth of summer
In the vast lands covered in snow and hail
That melts the glaciers
Turning them into rivers that run free

I was yours
But sometimes you were mine
Beautiful and innocent as this may be
I bury the passion inside

The last time when we met
For a brief moment, I felt a shiver run through me
The heat pulsate from within
A hunger for your sensuous lips

I wish I would have said something
But I'm afraid my heart wouldn't let me
Yet, you are calm and tempered
Gasping as you read this, nudging me to write

I remember what you wore that day
The burning sensation inside
Doesn't fade into the endless ether of memories
I need you now, more than ever

Let me hold you till you are left breathless
Gushing into you and gnashing your *******
Away from the world around
Covering your lithe figure with my scent

Unable to get you off my mind
Under the pale moonlight
I write for you on this starless night
As my poems slowly become void of life

Yet, you still love them
And so I channelize the fire
Letting my poems speak for me
Revealing my darkest desires to you

The seconds hand snaps and clicks
In the art studio
Dawn comes upon the cold horizon
With a solitary lamp shining at five in the morning

Shaking off the darkness and all the gloom of yesterday
Under the blushing sun, the green of grass
As the traces of the past fade into oblivion
The nocturnal birds wince at the sunrise

With splotches of paint upon a cream canvas
Crafting silent trees laced with rusted leaves, gently
A northern wind bends the fluttering flowers
A flurry of raindrops smudged with my brush

When the morning is in full bloom
Bringing with it sunlight and courage
The dew drops glimmer on the spears of grass
As the warm wind wakes the morning doves

All of nature alive, almost in prayer
The music flows through the air
Even when I cannot face another day
A beautiful sunrise always takes my breath away

Dreams fade as soon I am awake
As I sit over by the window
I feel the sun wade through my soul
When the flowers rush to greet me

With dewdrops on their petals
That fall gently on the ground
As they settle and are absorbed
By the cheeks of mother Earth

Your fingers nestled in mine
As you look in my eyes
You were with me that night
And so the stars shone brighter

The moon still waits for you
And all I hear is it calling out your name
This heart engulfed by its own flames
Still remembers your laughter

My love for you grows
So does my desire for you
If you loved me too
My dreams would come true

While this city breathes and sleeps
I carve out myself a little space
In your heart
When I dream of you

With passion and
Broken will
I yearn for you still
You’ll never know how much more I will

Your kisses
That beauty
A serene smile
Your skin against mine

"It's not that I'm missing her
Her words and soft voice comforted me
Blanketing the emanating hurt"
I tell myself

"We ended as friends but I couldn't ignore
What my heart felt
Nor what said the stirred soul"
I tell myself

Although we ended as friends
My body and soul aches still
When the heart longs to be fooled
I'm at a loss for words

As the dawn lights up the room
Through dark curtains
A solitary ray peaks through
Afraid to disturb the silence

The morning is restless
Without her embrace and presence
The first sound I hear is the bird sing
Her sweet gestures still rankle this broken heart

She often brought me happiness
In my life void of affection and beauty
Her words calmed
The river of traumas

I share these songs with her
Now those memories bring me solace
When her eyes listened, lips smiled
As I pick up the broken pieces

When you wandered into my life
The dark room filled with sunlight
But there's no way you could know
I loved someone long ago

Her gaze
Her hair
A soulful song, I played on repeat
So many times that it has lost its meaning

Now I write your name carefully
Across the seams of my heart
Where it has been ripped apart
Repeatedly, repeatedly, you wouldn't know really

When I first peered at you by rare chance
Caressing me with your unfaltering, fiery glance
My soul fell breathless, taking flight
Silent for a long while

I could hear my shallow heart beat in my chest
As your eyes found their way down my waist
Looking at me with a love I had longed for
Ushering life into me, bringing back the fervor

And so, I searched your eyes too
Tracing your sculpted figure, now in full bloom
Drenched in ****** rawness, you had me
Lost in a boundless sea of beauty

You ran through my very being
And my heart has abandoned me
It is comforted by sunsets and nature
But soothed by your laughter

When I first met you on an afternoon
You were sitting in a little cafe
Smiling gently
With your eyes calling to me

You wanted me close
Holding your hands too
Gently kissing your nape
Placing your jet black hair to one side

You'd bring the cup of latte
To your ruby red lips
Thinking of my mouth shift across your shoulder
And quiver and shift in your seat

I can see it in your trembling hands
You wanted to spend a little time
Unzipping me with your mind
Clutching my hips, bringing it closer to your skirt

Letting me pull apart your *******
And stroking your thighs
I pressed my lips harder as you took off my t-shirt
Grabbing your legs for this wild ride

Placing your arms on my shoulders
Sinking my teeth in, letting it all slide in
You can hear my breath grow louder
Inside you, moving with a steady rhythm

It only lasts minutes, it feels like an eternity of pleasure
As you breathe, heave, and sigh
The cup almost falls out of your hand
Thinking about me this way

Bra undone, makeup's a mess, and it never felt so good
With my scent on your skin
Your lips redder than a rose
Cheeks blushing pink like a cloud in autumn

In your everlasting hunger
Lying next to me with a passion
That fills the both of us
As my tender lips trace your soft skin

You ask me to get closer to you, bare and breathless
As I explore the deepest, darkest places
Caressing your sweating, supple thighs
You stroke my hair gently

Telling me, "Yes. More.
I've never felt like this before."
Pulling my face closer as your body shivers
You tremble, quaking, and quiver

As I hold you tighter
Your moans tell me it's alright
You'll guide me tonight
Till the morning comes

So, sleep gently
Tell me that you feel safe with me
As we wake up tomorrow
With your head on my torso

The downpour rocks the forest gently
Trees cast under the spell of the howling wind
Almost asleep as the golden leaves shudder in silence
As a wolf calls out in the distance

The freshwater lilies fall into a reverie
As the raindrops splash and spray on the streams
Playing their enchanting melody
Slowly rocking the rested bream

On days when I'm tired and frayed
I think upon the song of the rain
Helpless the storm inside
I find solace as time passes by

For the first time in my life
You've opened my eyes
To the crimson fire
That burns inside, consuming me tonight

It has ignited
My mind, soul, and body
Flooding me with flames
The heat extending to my fingertips, down my spine

In the warm noon under the clear skies
My legs go numb as you creep up to my face
Covering me with kisses under the sheets
I'm dizzy when walking the empty streets

In the quiet hours of midnight
When the world's sound asleep
My heart pounds across my chest
With all its might

It rains and the clouds thunder, a guttural cry
I search for you in the pools of crystalline  
Often I'll stumble upon the stone pavement
As this obsession drowns me in this moment

Pulling me under, clogging my windpipes
Breaking my spirit, carrying my soul
Through the dark nights spent in complete solace
I'll watch the satin sky, as the rain falls on and on

On a silent, dark night
After the rain has subsided
These words, in time
Will show you my truest fears

As I race through the fog, running through woods
Scarred by the biting wind laced with snow and ice
The blizzard runs through me, freezing my temples
Curling through my veins, seeking warmth

I'm captured by your cold, cold heart
Transfixed by your beautiful eyes
Longing for your delicate hands that break the spirit
Starving for your naked embrace, abandoned and desperate

Someday, these words will kiss you
Under the cold July rain, where you lie bare
When the storm caresses your luscious locks
And the rivers of your soul drain into the vast seas of sorrow

Our memories will fade into thin air, tomorrow
But all I can think of is your sweet face
That carries me through this difficult phase
I'll hear your breathless whispers and soothe your nerves

Clasped arms in an intense moment of passion
Let me move into you in the heat of the night
Till you need me for an eternity
This fire will burn indefinitely

As I breathe you in
Douse you with the flames of my eyes
Caress you with a touch
As the mask falls away

I yearn for you when the wind is breathing heavily
The tresses that lay over your shoulder
Like trees across the shore of a river
Brushing your neck with my lips soft as waves

Take your clothes off, white linen hugs your skin
Draped across your breast, quivering lips
Curling into a ball of passion
Your hips will ache with every dip and ******

Wanting me more with every intimate glance
I'll dance with you under the rain
I want you just as much a bird yearns to sing
You bring out the wild side deep inside of me

As I undress you with my eyes, seated next to you
Close to your heart, listening intently to its beat
Lightly touching your hair, sliding my fingers through it
Bringing our lips to meet in a stolen kiss

Rustling leaves that flutter with the naked breeze
The heart of the forest is calm and serene
Pleasure and pain are just the same
As our peaceful night ends

We stare at each other, wondering
When will we cross paths and exchange fresh glances
Like strangers meeting
In the next life

I'm not missing her
Sad that her scent faded with the breeze
She's gone with the wind
I'm not missing a part of my soul

I'm not missing her
The blush on her rosy cheeks
Is a faded memory
I'm not missing the better half of me

I'm not missing her
But a part of me is with her
It calls to me
"Forget her."

A bird sings in my heart tonight
It is full of desire
The silence inside is gone
As my heart beats on

And the bird whistles a tune
Which reminds me of you
In her plaintive song
I find warmth

It's something I can sing and hum
While I stroll on a wide street in some distant town
I am at ease
Knowing the bird will keep me company

While the bird has grown tired
I want it to sing tonight
So that I can share with you
Something that's honest and true

Trees sway to the night breeze
The birds welcome the rain
With a song in their hearts
As the leaves shudder in the cold

The lilies are in love
With the streams
Never leaving their side
In the light drizzle

On days when I'm tired
I think upon the song of the rain
And it begins to pour again
Filling my heart with gladness

The coldest winter is here
Flowers have wilted
Friends have been gone for years
The heart cries its silent tears

There's an escape sometimes
After all time's too quick
For me to carry the weight
I tell myself that it'll be alright

If winter's goes, can spring be far behind?

As the winter rain came
The flowers came to life
Surrounded by the chatter of leaves
Upon which droplets fell and slid

The beauty that existed all around
Present in every waking moment
Faded into the warm spring of my life
That changed me as a person

I found the littlest things
That brought me joy in the coldest times
Breathing life into when I hoped
With a broken heart

I think this what finding love is like
You go through every passing day
Clinging to the smaller pleasures
Letting them fill you

Until happiness comes easily
Sadness becomes a distant memory

With her gentle breath
She brushes against my skin
My neck placed in her curls
Embraced in blissful sin

She breathes life into me
Pouring her soul into mine
Coloring me with brushstrokes
Of scarlet flowers and red wine

As I gaze warmly at her
The trees shiver in the dark
And flowers sway in the breeze
Leaving me numb at my heart

She leaves a song within me
That's only meant for the heart
An imbroglio in my soul
And a fresco of the mind

As you gaze into my eyes
I hold you close to my heart
Caring for you deeply
Hiding the hurt inside

I don't trust myself
But my heart is yours
In this solitary moment
Do you love this man?

When you touched me
I felt the warmth
Travel through me
Like a light in a dark cave

Under the bare, pale moon
As I burn hot and blue as a cold star
Hold me tight and secure tonight
If the leaves fall from their heights

In winter's heart, within the icy
Bring me close in your arms
Please let me love you with what's left of me
Only the tenderness of a summer breeze

This poetry lives on the mere thought of you
Building me up with strength
In the face of darkness, giving me light
Before I die in springtime

She had kissed me days ago
After school
Now a memory
On a warm afternoon

I have books filled with her
Verse after verse
In search for the truth
She's poetry in motion

Lies seem sweeter
When I look into those eyes
That hide the love
Inside

If the last leaf falls from the barren tree
As the flowers turn frail, cold, and dry
In the deepest darkest times
Where the soul cannot find the light

When the heart turns to nature
With the sun and moon as its guide
During the wintry depths of desperation
On the darkest nights when the stars collide

In this losing battle called life
We're meant not to win or conquer
Our aim is for the sky with feet rooted to the green
Finding beauty in the smallest of things

She wakes up early
As I pass by the hall
Curled up tightly
In her sheets

It's warm outside
She doesn't leave her bed
For it is cold
Inside

If you're lost in the forest among the dying trees
And the river in you runs cold
A gentle breeze sails through the tapestry of brittle leaves
In the icy midst of winter

Invoking a long lost friend
That melts the crystal streams
Crawls through the warm earth
Awakens the entire forest in a collective chorus

If you've never felt your heartbeat
Then I hope you find the right moment
That sweeps you off your feet
Suddenly life will make sense

I've been meaning to say this for a long time
Second guessing my well-rehearsed lines
Taking my sweet time
Riding out the nights

When you were in my life
I had cast myself into a downward spiral
I'd fallen far enough
To contemplate my mistakes

Your beauty's inspired
My staged rhymes can't describe it
There's no better way to say this
Than with honesty

Someday, I'll look at those moments
When every secret revealed
With it a fiery passion
That had festered in silence

While the memories were lost
Held together by these words
Carved neatly in the corner of your heart
They live on

Boundless as the tides of time
When a violent heartbeat
Causes a dull ache
The blood will sometimes course its way

Into your heart and soul
Intertwining with my being
Soft and slow as a gentle breeze
Every time you dream of me

You and I will fall in love
In an endless song that goes on and on
That is found in the gentle sway of the trees
As well as the storms that alert the seas

The stars may shiver in the distance
Yet every morning there is a sun for you and I
A kiss is a moment of kindness
Your hug is an instant remedy

Your laugh, whispers, and cries make a complex melody
I'm fiddling with my hair every time I think of you
On some days, my heart doesn't believe in us
Time and time again, it will hold onto its purpose

The time and memories we shared
Still feeds the hungry soul
It warms the coldness inside
As your words flicker and fade

Now that you aren't here with me
The blankets, sheets, my skin
All have your scent
Water cannot wash away my sins

The flowers, the bush, the bees
The trees
God's melody

I don't smile, the same way at least
My hand doesn't tremor anymore
This pen flows like the water
In which the aquatic wilderness swims

I've found courage
So I look up to the skies
A heart that skips a beat
As a white bird scores a fish

I've found self-expression
Art and wisdom; candlewax pours
It melds with the polish of my table
Books, papers, pens, memories

These are the fragmented thoughts
Of a writer
On the verge of a breaking down
Tired of waiting and waiting

Some letters lay near the bed
For the last three days, half read
My day gets a little tougher
As she's been on my mind lately

I'll lazily stretch my old joints
Yawn a little and tousle my grey hair
My legs feel heavy as the clouds before a rain
If I wake up to the thought of her again

Entering a spiral of despair is so so easy
Staying afloat is the hard part
And a stroll always clears my head
My mind can wander

But in my heart
I've carried the pain of old love
I've carried the weight of old regrets
Now, I'm nursing old wounds

When the night comes
The breeze will rush
The spirit of dawn will caress my soul
Telling me today will be different

But it isn't really
Because everything I do is for her
So I'll learn to live for myself
As time heals those wounds

You cannot overwater
A plant because you missed a day
And expect it to grow
The same way

You wrote in a page of my notebook
My personal diary
A collection of memories, thoughts, and outpouring
I've written many more pages since then

Even filled a notebook or two
Look at how far I've come

A flower that thrives in the shade
Will never wither
When winter comes
And the sun goes down

Learn to find happiness
In yourself
Even those who are by your side now
May fall away through no fault of their own

Be strong not because the world expects it
But because you have to survive
For better or worse
May these words serve you great comfort

When you're sad or upset
And the world seems to be against you
Think of yourself first
Remember that you are better than you think you are

If you are down and reeling in the pain
And nobody seems to care
Think of those who do
Remember you mean much more to them than you do to you

I'm the worst poet alive
If I were to write you something, I'd spend not hours but days
Even years
Struggling with the right words
Investing my body and soul into each and every verse
I'd tell myself after 5 minutes of writing
"I need a break, this isn't working out."
After every fleeting emotion was carefully gift wrapped
Between those immortal lines and thoughtful metaphors
I'd spend a few more days questioning myself
Thinking I don't deserve you
You'd tell me "It's alright. If you want to let it go, you can."
I'd tell myself, this isn't real and its different this time

I'm truly the worst poet alive
Because no matter what I say or write
I can't make you stay

The white flowers poured their color
Into the flowing seas
As I poured my soul endlessly
Into the streams of still water

The medley of the rain speaks to me
In its crystal droplets and clear pitter-patter
It tells me that she needs no another
So, I hold back my tears

I tell myself some other day
If I write and write again
About the sadness of the rain
Time will wash away her beautiful face

A million unspoken words
As the rain pours
When the flowers shiver in the cold
The morning comes

I'll wait in the dark woods
Searching in the corners
Where desire lurks
As the sky hides from plain sight

Sleeping soundlessly
My mind stays awake at night
Hoping for your touch
Yet forgetting you constantly

The streets are endless without you
There's no home to go back to
A light led me to your arms
Now it flickers, unsure of your warmth

If this is the way you want things to be
I'll be alright in a few weeks
I know you're lost to me
There's a life beyond this misery

The flowers shift and sway
As the sun blazes
Letting the warm breeze color this scene
With your face close to mine

Every day seems longer than the last
A violent storm carries with it the past
There's pain in my heart
That gets lost in the locks of your hair

There's a fire burning inside
A crimson, blue, and yellow light
It shines in my heart
Brushes my canvas with art

It is filled with pain
That spreads faster than the violent rain
Deep blue spreads across the bruises
Reddest hues mark the grooves

It is the colored canvas of my soul

There's a fire raging inside
That ravages the memories of my life
I save my sorrows
And hold my fears close

As the rain pours tonight
A hurt heart forgets its desires
Every moment seems longer
Than the stars that glimmer

When you look into my eyes
You calm the storm inside
The helpless trees shift their feet
And the leaves move swiftly in the breeze

As you touch my hair with your fingers
A dawn is breaking and the sun blushes crimson
Bringing up the sleepy birds out of their slumber
To fly into the heat of summer

The best thing you ever did for me
As you tore the walls I had built
Out of fear
Was set this bird free

I had forgotten how to trust
Crossing the sea of despair, none the wiser
As I took on your worst
Teaching myself it was worth the pain

I still think about you
Just not as much
Your hands are cold to the touch
And our shoulders don't brush

I'll no longer drown in my tears
I've put up my walls for the last time
A bird in heart sings crystal clear
In a land with no fear

There's a cloud over me
Thunder rumbles its calling
A painted sky is free
So are the millions of flowers

It's the sweetest thing
To be near you
When the day is done
Your kisses feel soft as the rain

Being away with you
In some distant bench
Near a crescent lake
Where the sun doesn't set

It's the sweetest thing
To be near you
When the day is done
Your kisses feel soft as the rain

Look at the skies
As I say the last goodbye
Before you leave me
Will you tell me how you feel

Don't leave me broken
Tell me you'll love me again
For this moment
Take me in your arms

Can I hold you once more
In the rain that pours
Tell me you'll see me again
Is this how things should end?

Before you leave me
Will you tell me how you feel