My happiness is in my hands
But I've realised
It slips through my fingers
Like sand

There's a girl I'd forgotten long ago
As that summer subsided
The trees lost their leaves
And autumn arrived

I've pretended that I felt nothing
It's been years since we last kissed
But it is summer once again
I'm reminded of her

They come in faint whispers
And frail fingers clutch onto those tired memories
That I can't seem to let go of
At this time of the year

I feel the ache after all this time
Once the flowers begin to bloom, yellow and white
Fluttering in a candid breeze that tells me
She's still out there

The night holds its knife
Close to the threads that hold my soul
It stretches its fingers across the blade
And sends me surging into the starry skies

Until the morning comes with its blanket
Covering all of me with its threads
Renewing me with purpose and life
Each time it stretches

With each passing hour
A frail voice consumes me
I'm left paranoid and hollow
By the time the night creeps in

Like an old stranger walking in my head
Their footsteps rattle me
Shattering the interweaving
That hold this mask in place

My nerves weaken as does my will
Until I think upon the lilies
Blooming in the sleepiest of dawns
I let go of my blanket

The contours and curves
That shape the heart
And the rivers that overflow
Pass through those ridges

A thrum within me
Ebbs, flows, and repeats your name
Until one day
The thunder struck

I felt the scenery come alive
It was the sound of my voice
That called to me
From inside

My head is always a cloudy sky
On days when it turns grey
The sun hides away
And very few play in the rain

The empty streets of my skin
Are pockmarked with lush trees
The rain goes and there's a sunny day
Most hide in the shade

This heart was once a home
A couch caked in dust
Cobwebs have made the corners their residence
Its garden is filled with weeds instead

The harder it becomes to let go
Shake and shiver
Every time you think of her
It is a cure

You know she's carved a part of you
In her heart too
But she'll kiss it away
On a lonesome rainy dawn

I couldn't walk
Another step today
So I wrote this
Line by line
It gave me the strength
That I once lacked
It made me feel like
I had a voice

This mind
This body
This soul
And ah...
I forget that there's a heart

When your voice
Escaped the clutches of the night
I held on tight
In vain

Your eyes that hid under the curls
They've become traces of you

To a girl I once knew
You're only a memory away

Letting you go was the hardest thing to do
So I found my solace on a lonely bench
Under the trees, softly rippling waters sleep
The flowers are alive usually

In this storm, they're looking for the sun
That once promised to rid them of the pain
There's rain in this part of town - I'm drenched
A cold breeze rushes through my shirt

I can feel my shirt flap against me like sails
It's cold outside
I shiver a bit in the hellish wind, frigid and pale
White flowers turn grey

Pools of black water at their feet
There's no will to live or be heard
When I see the leaves flutter
The boughs break

The sky cries
The sun is out of sight
Thunder grumbles, waking the scenery
Animals scurry back to their homes

And this place welcomes me
I've etched you in a long forgotten memory
Stretched it at times
Till it finally tore at the seams

This silent bird sings a melancholic tune
Takes flight - hurtling to the deadly skies dripping with moonlight
Fearful and blind - the bird doesn't care this time
Alive or dead - I've locked it up for life

For years - the chains sank deep through her heels
She can no longer walk on her frail feet
Unable to beat the breeze with the flutter of her wings
The bird has flown against all adverse conditions

Blizzards, storms, and meandering squalls don't give her pause
She has found a life in the journey
Through hurt and pain, she's melded herself to take on
So take on the world

Would it please you to cheat death?
Cause I'm glad she escaped from this cage
And you'll think of me when the little bruises creep up
Your heart will become invincible

With the sheer might of the soul that secures her world
A world that was drained of joy and purpose
The lark dove past the shadows - unguarded by shackles
Dark figures lurk in the woods - killing the trespassers

The moment you escaped, you'd left the cold bars
Of a warm, beating heart
But I'm glad you escaped because you'll bleed dry
More than you ever have

A lull hangs over the trees - a forgotten shell of a vibrant heart
Till a breeze shuffles its feet in the warm earth
Fragile red leaves crackle and fall from the vein-like branches
The silence hangs like a cursed soul

I'm glad she escaped from a corpse
Searching far and wide for a pulse of a stream
Reminding her of the fierceness of youth
This body reeks of a stench that deters the living

Her nerves are weak
A bleeding war rages in the heart
She's running and running out of blind rage
I know she's tormented by the taste of freedom

But I know she'd rather be caged and preyed upon
By leering wolves that hunt her for game and hang her dry
From the branches of the disturbed trees under the moon
I know she escaped and it is my loss

But she's possessed by blind fear that breaks the spirit
In the darkest hours of the night, she plays with the blade
Twirls the thoughts in her head like bullets in a gun
Left ******* and naked by the relentless onslaught of pain

It is the inner doom that she has to soar beyond
And so do I - I've forgotten you and I'm glad I found solace
You can't shatter me with your words because there is a power
In holding tight the heart every time joy walks in

In our best moments
When we gain some control over our lives
An old friend reminds us
There's no grand escape

Trees - miles of gold on a cold autumn day
Outline
The meadow
Tracing leaf-like patterns on the pale grass

Flowers sit at the foot of chinar
Looking to the sun
Peering from the cloudless sky
Upon those sleepy petals

Soon the trees
Will shed their cracked, brittle leaves
To make way
For such a pleasant scene, yet again

That twists and turns
Becomes one
With a river
Learns to pick up the pace
Yet carry the weight
Of rocks in its bed
While reaching for the horizon
The stream becomes
Indistinguishable
From the destination - the calm sea

She curled up her fingers
In mine
Read my mind
My heart screamed

Loving you gave me answers
To questions, I hadn't even begun asking
It is because I didn't understand the depths of me
And I didn't know pain could be so profound
That I had chalked out to electric impulses of the brain
Was actually love hidden in an unassuming moment

Love is a word
A powerful one too
Full of meaning
Some search for love
Some have found it
I'm yet to believe in it
Full of meaning
It can send electric heat
Running down your spine
And even signal an affection so kind
That it takes on a different form

Love is like water
Takes the shape of any vessel
But if the vessel is broken
It pours out
Till the person is left empty
It is full of soul
It is full of gold
It is enough to make a person feel whole

Love is enough to keep a person alive
When the winter last a little longer
Than anticipated

It is a knife at the heart
A gunshot from a shotgun
A blunt force to the back of the head
It is painful for an instant, sure
Except some have taken pleasure
In dealing pain like it is drugs

Love is a nasty word
It is full of feeling
Full of meaning
It is a cloudless sky full of stars
A sketch of the city on an empty canvas

And sometimes
It is a woman
And when that happens
Run for your life
Because she is a dealer
A knife twister
A dream killer
A person of substance
That you can't fathom

When love is gone
You'll find something different
That's why it is like water
Formless
Shapeless
Malleable
Goes through the ins and outs of vessels
And when your vessel is broken
You'll find beauty in the birds
Art in the trees
Kindness in the leaves
Affection in the blue skies
A sunny day will fill your life

Love is a word
That sometimes loses its meaning
It meanders, twists, and turns
Leaving a knot in your stomach
It will convince that you can write good poems
It will make food taste better too

It is a rhythm of life
When your heart races
Skips beats unintentionally
Whenever you look at the horizon
Or listen to a gorgeous jazz piece
If you bring some love in your life
I don't think you'll be disappointed

Love is like a city
Its inner streets are always empty
At midnight
And it is dark at the corners
Sometimes dingy too
But it is full of life
And virility

The red flowers swell and sway in the scenic pastures
Birds splay their wings, abseiling in the cold, hard wind
The stars remain studded in the sky
Flooding the streets with the endless light of a million

In the last vestiges of time, my passion burns bright
I'm engulfed by the fissures of your playful mind
Where the books of poems lie still in undisturbed waters
As I write tonight, my love burns crimson and sapphire

Yet, in the face of insurmountable odds, it never dims nor dies
It's a flame that counteracts winds, borrows from the sleepless night
Comes alive in a motionless street that lies awake in the cold breeze
As a pear-shaped moon shudders in the dark, peering through vacant trees

The clouds crescendo and fall under the spell of the starry spiral
That captures me with every passing moment, resounding with my breath
Gently ushering in the dormant silhouettes as they wait for the crack of dawn
To carve themselves a space in the streets that stretch for miles and miles

Soon when Earth meets with the moon on the skyline
Our bodies will make a pact and my love will live on
In unfettered dreams and primal thoughts raw with love
Thriving with the countless stars that shine upon you that night


These lamplit streets, filled with cars, will sing the song of the night for you
Finding their way to your heart through the dark
Much like countless streams meeting the ocean of unfulfilled dreams
Twisting and turning, contorted and confined to their paths

In my inescapable sorrow, I'll hold onto your locket of memories
With ****** hands and sweat pouring, I'll protect it with all my might
Yet, its key fell somewhere in the cracks along the way
I still hear the clock ticking away in the corner of my soul

Even on the most beautiful of nights
When my heart traces its way back to you
Now I can no longer watch you grow
So I write tonight, burning with intense nostalgia

I'll be gentle with my words
Fetching those long-gone memories
Speaking to myself in a lullaby that nurses this soul from the cold, harsh truth
That you'll never be mine and are no longer with me

Yet when the distance between earth and sky close
We'd have gone our separate ways
Completely changed through the sands of time
Strangers to one another in this life

Where lamps breathe their electric fire
On this moonlit highway, I hope our paths collide
The conquerors of the sky hover above silent streets
Hopelessly tortured by their dreams

I think of you often in the solitary moments
Even on the darkest nights when the starlight has lost the way to earth
When my heart is broken and shattered by this helpless love
Yet I feel alive every time our paths merge for a brief moment

Your tresses fell in cusps, red lips pressed with mine
Hands holding me tight, eyes filled with desire
You held me in a glance and transfixed me with your gaze
Shattering my defences and soothing my nerves

As I nervously surrendered myself
To concupiscence that enveloped my very being
There are very few who have walked through this door
Now this is a feeling I can no longer ignore

He was found
Laying on the floor
Face down
With no note

Except for a cake made of rice
He had sent to his family
With a card saying that
He was sorry and here was some food

He thought they were after
The money
On the night he died
They were having dinner

While mother wondered when he'd be back
The child could see him right across the table
He was smiling
As if he was right there

A lake far away in the distance
Covered by the foggy haze
In an endless reverie
On a quiet, cold winter's sleep

The dry fallen leaves
Of the bare dampened trees
Shiver in the December breeze
As the clouds veer off into the valley

The flowers shrivel like paper on fire
As the wind walks slow
Through the maple, oak, and pine
Sculpted in ice and snow

Landscapes that were once willows
Where owls sported for prey at night
Are now drenched in blue and white
For as far as the azure lake goes

The cold harsh winters broke my horses
That coursed the winding paths with fury
Trudging against the unseen forces
In the depths of the blanched scenery

I gazed at them helpless
Watching them writhe in agony
Attacking the soil as they gasped their last breaths
My young fawn friends were covered with canvas

For a while, I forgot what time of day it was
Yet I decided to walk into the wild
With the blood-stained canvas
Fresh in my mind

With every path I walked or tried out
My boots deepened in the thick swamp
Yet, I'd always circle back to that spot
More in doubt as the mire went on

Such was the depth of the forest
That I started marking the stones
Studding the depths of the earth
Where frescoed brooks once flowed

I struggled under my own weight
A dying thirst overcame me
As I inched closer to blinding rage
I crunched the snow with chattering teeth

Gazing at the concentric eddies of ice
That coursed through the undergrowth
Those glacial sheets frozen in time
Had turned to unbreakable stone

It was transparent
Revealing below the endless water
Being this near to the end
I felt a calm surrender

I looked deep inside
Without struggle nor strife
I jumped off the ravine
And my life flashed before my eyes

As I darted into the undergrowth
An elk came from behind
Hidden in a lair of fog and shadow
Walking on the sheet of ice

My heart pounded inside
My broken frame had survived
I knew I'd walked too many miles
To die

As I descended freely
I fell into spirals of warm water
And I could hear rushing streams
That echoed out into the ether

I was so tired and lost
So I only have a faint memory
Of the elk with its antlers carved in white frost
Carrying my frail body

Out of the bowers
Into a willowy veil
I still visit the shore covered by the hoary flowers
And listen to the whispering gale

I walked on little by little
With the brittle leaves cracking under my feet
To greener pastures
Forgetting the miracle

Time has filled many an hourglass since then
Yet as I watch an individual grain of sand fall
And I think upon the elk of that forest
That emerged from the dense fog

I realize that the moment is lost
And every day is still a test
While I could have moved on
It is the feeling I hold dearest

Slow down
If you don't know me
By now
And carry all your burdens around

Take my hand
And place it by your heart
Let me feel the way it softly
Breaks apart

Close your eyes
And drift away into my arms
Sleep till the breaking dawn
Let me whisper goodbye

So hear me once before you cry
Tell me if you're going to be fine
And tell me all your sorrows
As the light breaks for the night

We stare at the clock
As the ticking stops
And see how the years
Go by so quickly now

A tired memory
I realised I can't let go off

Most women
Want to stab me in the back
But she didn't
She was just confused
The moment she held the knife
The world went quiet
Her heart throbbed a little
Better to take the pain
Than to take a life
Right?

You have a way with words
She says
Little does she know
I've been rehearsing

If you have a superpower
You'd see through my sadness
If you have a superpower
You'd know when I'm on the edge

Through the twisted metaphors
Can you still tell who I am?
In the broken fragments of images
Can you believe me when I try?

That's why
I'll wait for you
To see the morning roses of springtime
To witness the chorus of birds at dawn

When the night's over
You'll see I'm still there
And that's the superpower, you have
To **** the pain, everytime I'm dying a little

When the night's over
Despite your power over me
I will leave you heartbroken
And I'm sorry for that

Bullets, bombs, and broken glass
Shards, shells, left strewn
Across the floor
As thin as ice

A life built on lies
A past buried deep inside
A house of cards
You'll never know why

So, forget
That I'm hanging from the edge
Forget that I am
Finding courage through the pain

Through the tears
And the weakened nerves
Tell me
How to learn to live

I've got an hourglass of time
And people I've hurt
Countless as the sand in it
I've got a broken heart
Full of regret and pain
But you don't care
Once more, I stab the wound
That was once a person
A memory that I drank away
On a cold night
A memory burned out
Leaving cold ash
As countless as the sand
In my hourglass of time

Every face, the same as the rest
Every headline, the same as the rest
A long war wages on
Erasing any joy

It bleeds like the one in here
Cold and hostile
Every voice in the inner streets, abuzz in my ear
Every naked impulse, followed by fear

I told you the last time
I'll be out to sea
That I'm fine without you
I'm alright without the anchor of memories

And so the war wages on
I'm counting the days
An ally
Found in the light sliver of sunlight at dawn

Is followed by
A message from the wind
Read in the pages of the night
And a hurting heart has begin to see

Light follows dark
Day follows the night
Life follows Death
I've begun to believe this

When I'll be back
I don't know
To tend to the garden
That lies back at home

The war
Razes the flowers
I nurtured
When I was young

I now count the days
Till the next storm
For now
The pink skies just look perfect

Two kinds of people exist
Those who are lost in their dreams
And those whose aspirations keep them alive
For another day and another day
At midnight
Some find solace
Some find ambition - an inner spark if you will
Both are running towards the same destination
While I've known people who would read and read
Through the thick of a warm lamp on their desk
Till their eyes couldn't pore over pages no more
There are some who wouldn't sleep anymore
Because they'd slept through daybreak
They'd fallen on dark times - sleep had lost its meaning
Yet these two kinds of people often
Are just the same
Like two sides of a scuffed out coin
That has been tossed one time too many
Coalescing with one another
Till you can't make out which is which
And who is who
In the memory of you

Irrational feelings
Even a rationalist
Can fall victim to
And spend their entire life
Trying to understand it
Rather than absorb it
Like a red sky on the first dusk
Of autumn

It is a part of you
That was left collecting dust
On the shelves of time

Sometimes empty, sometimes full of feeling
Escaping from fear, yet, hesitant of the freedom
Looking away from the glaring light
That flows through the soulless skies

Outside there's rain
Pouring till the warm fear-ridden skies run dry
There's rain that can't be let inside the crevices
It'll flood prairies to drench a paltry mind full of vice

The heart doesn't respond to the warm smile
That kind, beady eyes and an understanding nature offer
On a cold, dead Tuesday night
It doesn't catch on fire in the damp air

It is paper thin, a fragile, brittle being that sways
To the light breeze that blows out the fire
Deep inside, whose warmth
It was never accustomed to, long ago

This twisted vessel with its worn sails
Buoyed toward the ocean for too long
I've been through these preternatural waters
Countless times, always turning back in vain

Sailing into the unknown amid the heavy gales
Hurtling into the distance where water turns into vapor
Levered by every wave that pushes along with the tide
I'm tethered by a thin thread, I turn to my heart

Now wait, from day to dusk
Come night, the stars will disappear
As more questions haunted me
They'll burn the battlements of your mind

Time often harrows those with the will to live
It brings with it profound sadness
And that's the narrow strait pushing us ahead
The oceans aren't meant for us

The mind ought to pour itself into logic
Against all notions, challenging the hindrances
Beyond all reasonable doubt
Building faith forever and ignoring the emotion

Despite having little hope left inside
Drowned in the oceanic scapes of blue and white
I'm washed by the distant sunset
Where the sun draws a line through blood red skies

Where one world ends, maybe another begins
To some the horizon may be worth reaching
But this is beyond the reach of my mortal vessel
And the mind can't fathom the distance

Yet it can take on raging storms
There is no moments of stillness for war-torn ships
So many have retreated into the night
Abandoning the journey

Hesitant on returning
Remaining blind to the brilliant sight
The piety disappears soon after
Only leaving behind a disturbed mind

Benign, hapless skies look upon the fierce eddies
That once threatened to carry them underneath
The way back takes with it the lilt of song
Only leaving behind a disturbed mind

The mind can take the beating of an arduous voyage
So show courage
In the face of utter defeat
Revealing the Achilles' heel of your spirit

You'll never hear the surface crack
But there are screams within the fiery depths
And I fear Death will take what I love most
When the structure falls, the rest won't hold

Still suspended in time
Still seeking an eternal sleep for the mind
So many times, the divine sages wander away
Into a dark copse of patterned leaves and interwoven roots

That the mildew has bowered the empty house
As gargoyles lay dry in a vast garden of vacant roses
Now barren, the thorns stick out
Scarring a mind in a state of constant fugue

It isn't my fault that this mind is ravaged by demons
It is shackled to the past when we waged destruction
It isn't my fault that the soul is a dusty tomb
It is at the mercy of time - a brief life of its own

Death will see the parts of your life
That you once held dear as memories
All as part of the incinerated earth
These possessions will become complete strangers to you

Erasing a fraying mind with pain
You'll spend years shifting mountains
So that swelling waves can fill the deserts once again
The sullied spirit can cleanse itself

Your dormant mind will never recover
From a lifelong journey of seeking forgiveness
The jagged ridges of rocky shores will hold back the tide
And soon, the dam will break unable to contain the past

Letting the waves of passion turn into violet roses
A violent desire turn into bruises
As virulent streams settle into the ocean
You'll be left with the remains of your soul

With every skipping heartbeat
There's are pauses echoing into the unknown
But like everything else, it is made of ether
And you carry it now for the rest of the way

If it means a glimpse of eternity
A moment of beauty
Then I've elevated myself in this love
It is a sinking feeling to be weightless, at times

Back into the unknown
Kicking, screaming, and tearing at the seams
The soul has fallen into an endless void
That the heart calls darkness

That the mind calls folly
That the world calls faith
That the memory calls love
And some of us call it an ocean

Are you really that curious
About what lies beyond
This gate
Where the moss collects?

The trees have kept it
In their shade for a reason
Away from the world
Of changing seasons

Are you really curious
About whereto the river flows
Moving through the inner works
Of a forest flourishing with hope?

The sun barely shines over there
It is hidden away from the world outside
An entire terrarium tucked away in the Cosmos
Safe from the narrow minded

So, when you're in doubt
About how much you're worth
Think - this is life
In all its glorious darkness

Has the kindness of others
Ever helped you walk a step more
When you gasped for your last breath
As a blade came closer to your neck

When you were in the depths of vengeance
Did the inner turmoil vanish with a kiss
Or was it a breeze on a solitary evening
That made you hold back the tears

It is in the crumpled leaves beneath our feet
As countless trees die, year after year
Left barren by the fires and seasons
That give us comfort when we're alone

On a distant mountain
Mist
Settles
Little birds flutter
Their wings carrying the wind
In their feathers

Coursing through the rushing river
Streams glisten
On the surface
Fish
Hide
Deep inside, away from the light

Birds sing
Their loneliest song
Hidden in the leaves
Of tall trees
Upon the meadow
Just at dawn

The trees
In autumn
Voiceless
Rustle
With the breeze
In a soundless stupor

The trees look blue at this time
Leaves of different hues, fallen upon a lake
The starry skies hung overhead
A jet black sheet cut out and stretched tight

Out to sea, ships lurk in the storm
Without the spraying water to carry them
Moving endlessly with the wind
The soul has lost its way

A breeze rushes through the many flowers
Gracing this beautiful patch of greenery
The hollow shell of winter left behind
You can still find the glaciers

Staring out into the skies on this lonely night
I can hear some distant cry under the moon
This time, it is a sound carried by the angels
Pushing aside the clouds to let in the light

Beams of blue and white fall upon tired eyes
The trees hold their leaves by their frail fingers
Hours pass, there's no sound anymore
No gashes, no bruises - just the last crack of a branch

I was writing
In the park
Under a singing lark

I'll make it through the day
Without the crutches of breathless blue skies
Waking me up every morning
Another spiral of black ink goes down the drain
Washes away traces of the strain
Maybe it is strength
Holding me together
Or it's a thread
That has grown tired and thin
Frayed and worn at the edge
With thoughts, black and blue
Auburn leaves half-torn
The trees are calm and watchful
Some beauty
In the scenery
But what do you do?
When you can feel joy dissipate
And pain take its place
Like a friend walking away
I'm cold and pale
So I look outside
From my broken windows
Not everything can be poetic
When the fangs are in
There are no blue skies
No red flowers
No jet-black nights
Saving me tonight
From collapsing
From within

In the mirror
I see a face
With a broken heart

If not for this moment
We could escape this winter
Never look back
At our sick, cold, and brittle bodies

If not for this hour
We could make the world ours
In a space
Trimmed from the flesh of time

If not for this insanity
The trees would welcome us
Their finger-like branches curling up
The autumn leaves

We can't rewrite history
Erase the inner conflict
So, we tear the pages of poetry
Breathing in the undying fire

Writhing under the touch
Crying and running chaste fingers
Through the river of the ****** souls
Savoring the havoc

We could stop and cry war
And complain
About how powerless we all are
To the heart

When I look at your face
I treasure this vulnerable soul
That has always needed your
Love

I die a little
When you kiss me
I die a little
For just a split second

My heart can't find the words
A soul can't find the words
The body can't heal the wounds
Without your lips whispering in my ear

Lifeless and stranded
The love you give me is a moment of ecstasy
While the words are sweet, dripping like honey
They are filled with passion

A childlike affection cures the heart's affliction
So
Yes
I wouldn't mind dying tonight

My heart is yours to keep
It wanders with you
Even when you get a cup of coffee
And is captured in an intimate moment

My heart is yours to keep
While it is hard to fill this dark void
It is where it ought to be
With you, under lock and key

If you can't trace it
It lies in your wildest desires
Found in discarded dreams
My heart lies with you

You can cut it with a knife
Or dress it up with your cherished memories
Maybe even call it
"Pretty"

You know?
I'm hurt and lost
But without you, babe
I don't know pain

The pain of being kicked in the gut
Repeatedly
Yet still wanting the violence
Don't you want it too?

You and I - are we meant to be?
Maybe. Maybe not.
In some hopeless way, I've fallen in love
And your beauty strikes me cold

Lush forests lurk within those eyes
Finding some semblance of hope
Some sunshine emanating for a tiny moment
In that second, my heart is yours

To do with it
What you will eventually do
Whether you water the plant or not
It will grow

When I was a kid
I'd fall and hurt myself
But I knew how to stop crying
Wipe the tears and shed the blood
Back then
That's how it was
No matter the intensity
Of the fight

These days
It's different
I fall and hurt myself
While there's not a graze to show
Evidence of the pain
No enemy to harm me
There's a cut
In the heart so deep
That I can no longer
Stand up
And wipe the tears
So easily

I thought the sniffling
Strong kid
Who beat up the foes
Was a brave soul
But breaking down is okay
And we were conditioned
To be stoic
Back then

Remember that the next time
You think upon your childhood
At your lowest point
And darkest moment

He says you need a cigarette
You look stressed
That's the last thing I need right now
We need to go somewhere far off

On a distant pond
Where the rocks break the ripples
And the sun reflects in your eyes
Intoxicating me

As I peel off your thin disguise
It is the last time
We'll meet
So let's make it last tonight

I don't want him to open his heart
And to welcome me back
In his open arms
But I wept
When I realised
That I was only a child

I don't have an iota of malice
Not a single bad bone in my body
And warmth flows through these veins
Yet a guilty conscience
Has convinced me that
I'm not good enough

In the coldness of the winter
As I reach out for a moment more
Nothing left inside
No one’s there all the time

The willows are full of life
As I look
Outside
At the empty skies

Life’s no longer
Black and white
You’re with me
And I feel alive

Will I belong in the hollow?
When I’m gone, you’ll know
That I wasn’t meant to stay
And things would end this way

Safe and sound
Earth-bound
I'm falling
On the cold hard ground

Safe and sound
Earth-bound
I'm falling
On the cold hard ground

I’m possessed by the loss
And the sun hides from the sky
All these years
Living in pain that I can’t deny

To wake up the ghosts
From the shallow snow
When the light follows through my window
My heart withers alone

No more hiding tears
You’ve shown all of you
You got the best of me
And the fears too

Safe and sound
I'm falling
I'm falling
And you can't save me now

If gentleness is a thing
That braves the rain
And the wind
It will find its way back again

And the next morning
It will be there, unwavering
Fresh as the morning dew
Sitting on a flower in bloom

That droops under the weight
Of that droplet
And completely forgets
Until a blistering wind carries it

Yet I've caused pain
That forced your hand
To exorcise the ghosts
Of your thinly-veiled past

As love crawls
Back to the fragile soul
They conquer the abandoned seas
Where the spirit once had flown

Roaming freely on those empty waters
The wind howls and there's no sign of life
In your reveries and spontaneous daydreams
Only there's the disturbed harbor of the mind

Where to the soul serenades?
Finding places cherished
In tranquil memories
Captured in time and space

It is a gift that it brings
Wielded by the noble
It is the strength of human nature
It is the sweat and toil of the human soul

Gentleness is a thing
That braves the hailstorms
Finding its way back again
Even when you are lost

I miss you
If I said I didn't care, it'd be a lie
I'm as sure as ever
And my heart has cried this time

Your skin and lips that brushed hard against mine
I miss that
But I long for your gorgeous smile
That lights up the room in the blink of an eye

******* that looked tight and shapely in your floral dress
I do miss that
But maybe not as much
As the rest of you

And how you swept your hair that day
Off your face? I just stared at those brown eyes
I hope you know that miss all of you, I do
These are the traces of that day

If my tears felt like warm rain
That would drizzle upon the windowpane
Your kiss upon my cheek would feel like heaven
And November ends

I've missed you so much
Hoping you'd think of me too
When you sip your morning coffee
Without me

Autumn arrived
The leaves burnt, crackled at the stems
With pink edges, drifting in the firmament
In step with the wild wind

Even as I watched the clock count down time
There, in my heart, I held on tight
To hope, like a little child
For many years

That while the trees lay bare
I could hear what's in their heart
So that they knew someone listened
To them

Year after year, they shed their skin
Laying bare to nature
Helpless to raging storms
You can still see the bruises from the last hurricane

Their broken heart is like an old, torn book
Passages dying to be read by a curious mind
They heal me and soothe the pain
When I'm in pensive state

On the days that I hurt the most
I write their words for you
And that is when the dam surrenders
Letting the flood of emotions pour asunder

I've spent my life exploring the forests
And racing through the aged greenery
But as the seasons change
Something stirs their harmony

In the heart of the deep rich sanctuary
There were multitudes of trees
Bare and brave
Letting the breeze raze them

Weakening their grip on life
They surrender their peace to the stars
While it takes strength to come this far
Nature says that it is time to let go

A wildfire cracks the aged willow
Ravaging the forests of antiquity
Leaving behind the white dust
There's no anguish nor sorrow

A wildfire consumes
Leaving behind only
Millions of roots underground
Yet they survive

So the eye of Death is kinder
To the frail branches that held yesterday's leaves
As God sheds off the imperfections
Leaving behind only a memory

Life persists
And after many seasons
When I am gone
There'll be another forest that takes it place

You take me to your art studio after a night
Of cold coffee and cigarettes
Canvases with streaks of blue and white
A scene out of an old French flick

Below the light, exposed film, bathed in red light
You feel me over my black top, with a hungry stare
Caressing me with your eyes
My heart throbs at your slightest touch

I dare you to **** on my lips and leave me weak
My heart lurks in the shadows
And only pleasure can release me
From the chains that bind me

I want to dress for you
And sometimes
I want you to leave me breathless
As I guide your hands over me

Unbuttoning my shirt slowly
Pressing your lips against my bare *******
You pull me closer
Maybe for a kiss that lasts forever

But you let the moment linger on
Penetrating me deeply in the cold winter night
With just your warm gaze
Bringing me back to life

Something that I'd lost long ago
Now found in your comfort
I was reminded of my grace
Because you took the time to unmask me

The lipstick that matches my red shoes
The heat that rushes through my thighs
And your palm on my heart
A light blush on my tear-stained cheek

I hope there's a place for me
In your heart
Give me your cold hands, hold mine, gently
You hold my waist, twisting me

I was dancing for a moment, in the room
As you held on tight
I gasped loudly
Laughing a little too

If I wanted a hug, I imagined this
Someone beside me
With his strong arms wrapped around me
My heart pounds against my breast

I can hear a song playing on the stereo
As I pick up the only piece
Left of my soul
The strength, you gave back to me

The warmth inside burns deep like a fire
Your naked lips touch the nape of my neck
We share the pleasure and pain
And I'm not alone again

Wanna see her
I hear a voice that better say
And it said
I'm not leaving again

Once I saw her
The piece of my heart left said
My peace is with her
I'm not leaving again

I've no reason
I wanna wish it all away
And she called on my line and I said
I know what I said, I'd do it all again

And on the wayside
I waited
I called out, I know
I told her I'll leave

In a box or a bag
Can you see then?
I'm not made for this
Ain't no way, I'll sleep again

And I know
And I know
I wanna stay
So bad it makes me cry