She's afraid to spread her wings
as everyone got lost in the air
She was left in her own misery
in the midst of nowhere
she broke her wing
promised not to fly
Alone and scared, she has to try
Ready to open wide
and flap that white light feather
She wanted to soar high
But afraid to fall and cry
Looking fierce and brave
The only thing
is to get lost from this cave
It's the only way to be saved
No more tears and fears
Casting the trapped shadows
It's time to go and feel,
how the cool wind
wanders through her feet*

-A

9/24/14

The dew turned into a crystallized ice
It's a good day yet I shiver
the sun looks nice saying hi
Rubbing my hand for friction
Time for school, I'm all set
Stopped in the hallway, I'm lost
New faces and gazes
Seems like a challenge
That's what I love best
Handing the white sheet,
wanting for directions
Took a deep breath and actiooon!
Smile and be yourself
Smile and be yourself
Smile and be yourself
The mantra keeps chanting
inside my head
Then, I thought it's not a bad thing
First day... really is something :)

-A

09/11/14

I do love rain! I do!
A sweater and a cup of tea
My bed and the silly thoughts
in my head

Dancing and kissing in the rain
Laughter playing in the mud
I would say, It was insane
and a little rad

But sometimes, a sail in a storm
could wash you away
A lighting that struck
could **** a day

A heartbreak isn't okay
There are times when it rains
Tears stream down my face
Watching the sky,
from my window pane
Dark as a broken heart
Everything is gray

Raindrops ripple
Like the water
coming from my eyes
A distraught mind

Then all I wish is for rain to go away.*

-A

8/28/14

Messy hair, I just don't care
Boring clothes on, why do you care?
No make up day, eyes everywhere
Nah, not running extra mile
Throwing daggers? nope! Still don't care.
Stab me behind whenever.
However... I won't care
like whatever.

I'm just here.
Standing still, wearing a smile.
Because what you think...
I just really don't care.
Say what you want to say.
Think what you want to think.

Still not caring, freedom is in the air.

-A

8/25/14

She's the kind of girl
who is half of a whole
Her body is art, drawing lines
coming from her heart
The pain she endures,
Putting sadness away from her soul.

They put her down
crawling on the ground.
Her face... so full of frown!

Stop hating, start loving
You may be hurting
but this life isn't about crying
It's about smiling
and creating a rainbow
that makes a heart glow.

Can I reach & grab your hand?
Letting you know
I understand.

Doing this to yourself
won't let you see the real world.
It's because darkness
covers the light.

It's in you to make things right!
And it's never too late
for you to realize.
Come on, get up and try.

You are beautiful,
don't tell me that you're not.
Because we are all born to be
and will always be.

-A

8/22/14

I met an illusionist
Deceived by his tricks
watch him clearing the mist
A theater where audience
was enticed.
Dexterous wand in his hand
A real métier with
a craft of magic,
welcome to his land.
Then I roused from a spell
Reasonably au fait with such hoodwink
I can see myself sinking
in a blink.

-A

8/17/14

she                                                        
writes a list
of all the things
    she hates about herself
in just one word:

everything
                                             ­                    he
                                                 writes a list
                                          of all the things
                             he loves about her                  
                                       in just one word:

                                               *everything

I want to write in a silent night
Holding my pen in a white sheet
I looked so uptight-dripping black ink.
Just can't think.

A dark clouds dispersing my mind
A big storm is coming
There must be an exit,
just can't find.

It washed everything away
Thoughts clambering on a trench
It's in the tip of the tounge,
just can't say.

The feelings were trapped
In an empty room so cold and dark
A shudder from horror,
just can't pray.

Squiggle! Squiggle!
Crumpled papers on the floor,
I badly want to find a door
Ugh, just can't write!

-A

8/14/14

Weeping under my sheet. I tried to endure but one thing's for sure, there'll be no cure!

My mind's distracted like an abstract making myself lose it. There might be a dose but my eyes... please scrutinize for you to realize.

It's a dark empty room and I'm all doomed. I want you to witness and caress my wet cheeks and if only you can squeeze me tight on this cold night :(

As I recall, you disappear through a throng. Left me hanging with a thought, 'what have I done wrong?'

But this solitude is quite rude for dragging me lifelong.*

-A

8/14/14

A good day where the sun shines and light up a life.

Feel the ease of how the music in the wind makes grasses dance in this cool breeze. Witness how the trees groove to the beat. Listen to the flock of birds singing as they make a great team. Lovely harmony!

I sway to the rhythm making my way for a beautiful day. Oh! Look at those flowers. I'd rather not pick, admire the petals and hear them speak.

Riding my bicycle led me to tranquility where the water falls freely and how I make my reflection silly. >.<

Alas! It's the dark of the night. Listening to my mother's sweet and gentle hum of a lullaby. Under this moonlight is the highlight. The sight of those stars shining so bright. My mind's a maze as I gaze how dazzling God's creation made.

. . .

This world is full of surprises! Everything is priceless.

-A

8/12/14

Full of pity for what was promulgated. Watch how I chortle with a tone of "Nobody cares". Is cackling like a witch amusing that much? Might look around; no one seems to listen. My dear friend, cracking jokes will never be our forte. Well, just too engaged in our own lives. Can't say 'Go get a life' when it's kinda rigid turning around, especially when you got stabbed by a knife. And you know, just too fab that you don't actually have ;)

I scampered inside as I peak into the light. Slowly, the door's ajar and what I see is not pleasing in the eyes... it even almost made my heart die! This is outrageous! Only a monster could do something atrocious. I curse this culprit who stole my FOOD and pledged to not forgive </3

The felicity that brought me. Mirthful emotions kicked me. The whole world and just me! Who else should it be? But this point (!) betrayed me. Sluggish, decelerate grievous thing punished me. Why WIFI , why do you have to double-cross meeeee?! :( [Kneeling on the ground with a spotlight effect lol]

This is what I call prosperity. Alone yet jubilant. Not when  pealing, ring, clunk, thud or a thump disrupts. "Hellooooo, earth to people! I'm trying to get some SLEEP here! Seriously?!"

-A

8/11/14

Hocus Pocus, I'm the magician and I want you to pay heed as I perform what they call 'miracle'. Nay, not rabbit in a hat nor wand to enchant. I have no power to fly or pull in tricks to inspire. I tell you I'm no special,

But *Hocus Pocus the truth comes to life. It's not easy, but required. You broke or mend a heart, you laugh and bawl your eyes. Sometimes it's hard, but you just have to try. I tell you, it's in your hands to unveil the 'miracle'.

Hocus Pocus, all we need is to focus. And that's where we, the animate things perform a special sorcery -unexpected things that you thought won't happen will actually happen. Vóila! Now that's alchemy!

-A

8/9/14

The bloom of my heart on the first day of spring. You gave me flowers and so much to remember. You promised a forever with a pinky finger.

We had fun this summer. The beach and adventures. Always the best time when I'm with you, coz you make me smile, that's what you always do.

The falling of golden leaves in the fall season. Oh boy! That was a whole lot of pies in our belly. We rake and play on these leaves together. Then I pause and thought, you might be the one. No doubt, I finally found you.

In a cold winter night where you left me in December, I stand on the side of the road, hugging myself on this busy street wanting to stop the tears. This is what I've always fear. You dissapear and that I couldn't bear. Watching the snow fell from the dark sky, I thought I'll be permanently happy but here I am just feeling empty.

Because those seasons are now nothing but a memory.

-A

8/9/14

The deafening of silence
The apperception of my brain
It is just seem to wander
Because here I am trying to wonder
The feelings that I thought were gone from what I ponder.
In a glance... it's coming!
Everything's rushing!
Endeavoring to shut my mind,
wanting to stop the hunting of what was elapsed.

What I want is, to doze off and escape from this 3am thoughts.*

-A

8/9/14

thank you for the friendship we once have.
thank you for giving me the chance to be a part of your life.
It's funny how you can't put the pieces back perfectly.
But if you think im being fake, this is me being real.
Thank you and I mean it.

-A

8/4/14

No matter how bright it shines or how far it goes, time will come and it dies.*

-A

7/29/14

I like this guy like just every girl's type. He doesn't seem to like me and that's what kills me inside. People think I'm too clingly but seriously the feelings don't seem to die. I thought my love is infinite until time goes by. I met another so now I don't bother. I want to tell the guy but they thought I still like the other. I like or maybe love him but rather not tell because I just knew I'll fail. Life is so unfair. It seems like he doesn't care but all I know is he's too busy with this girl :[

-A

7/27/14

At night, I lay on the ground staring at the moon and the stars. They are so beautiful from afar. But nothing’s more beautiful than seeing those shimmering eyes. As I looked inside, I saw the galaxies exploding with so much wonders. Then I envisioned feasting my eyes on infinity.

Fate worked the first time I met you. There! You were walking from distance. The long face you were wearing throes my heart. You caught me looking. I was startled but I kept staring. A sudden arrow stung my heart yet I was mesmerized. It wounded and scarred. You came nearer and touched it. I was captivated. Then I stroked your face. They are very gentle and sweet. They are alluring. Then you held my hands. I never wanted to let go. I don’t want to.

You smiled. Finally! They are the perfect curves that I don’t want to fade. The world stops and it’s just us two. The butterflies in my belly are soaring high. What I feel for you, I could never deny. Your eyes are on me but I looked away. I was shy but I want you to stay.

We talked and talked. I don’t know what’s so funny but you made me laughed. You've been a part of my life and that’s not a lie. There goes our love story…

You like it when you caress my hair and whisper my name. How’d you make it sound so special?

Then you brought me to carny and tossed a ring. You won me a fluffy bear that is my size. We can’t wait for the blue spun sugar to eat. It made our tongue blue too! I was scared of the big wheel. Heights petrified me. But you told me to not let my fear control me so I did. I did it! I conquered the world. I can now bungee jump or canyon swing.

Couple of miles we rode, there goes the big screen and the film’s rolling black and white. Some movies make me cry. You wiped my tears and I burst laughing. We shared popcorns and soda too. Then I glanced, I’m so glad I found you.

Remember when it rained and we were soaked. You grabbed my hand and twirled me like a ballerina. Then you’ll tease me and put me on your back. But your tire got stuck in the mud. I pushed it and as you start the engine, the tire whirred and splashed me with dirt. Oh, someone’s having fun!

Whispering the three words, my eyes grew bigger. You were shaking as your voice trailed off but my heart jumped out of joy. Is this really happening? I hugged you tight that you can barely breathe. I can’t help myself from being elated. Every moment of every day, you are in my mind, my heart, and the center of my being.

You are the syrup in my pancake, the helium in my balloon, the cream in my sugar, the lyrics in my song and the sparkle in my eyes.

We drive away. So far, that they can’t see. I look back watching how the city lights glitter like a fairy dust. We promised to forget about what’s behind and rather look what’s further. It’s just you and me. And that’s the only thing that matters.

I turn the radio on and we sing at the top of our lungs. I roll the windows down and remove my bun. The wind blows my long hair and it feels nice. The air is fresh and cold that I shiver. What’s ahead is an open road that never ends. You squeezed my hand and I was relieved knowing everything will be alright.

As you drive, I heard the seagulls and the crashing of waves. There could be a hidden paradise somewhere. The screeching of brakes led us to a new world. What’s beneath the sea and the sky comes to life. We build a fire and cover ourselves with thick blanket to keep us warm. I wish there are s’mores too! Then we sat on the ground waiting for the sun to come up. I lay my head on your shoulder then you kissed my forehead. It was quick but I blushed. It was sweet and hoping this will last.

The sun woke up and started to rise. I opened my mouth but then closed it. What I’m seeing is so wonderful that I’m going to cry. You wrap your hand over my shoulders the other is on my hand intertwined. You looked at me and said the words. Those words made my heart skip a beat.

“I can’t imagine how dark my world before you came. I was lost and empty. I was miserable. But it happened you looked at me the way I looked at you. Then that moment, we were meant.  I knew we were. Every night, I thank the Almighty how majestic he is for slowly turning my dark world into hue. That’s when I found you. And I want to spend the rest of my life holding your hands and loving you until my last breath. I want to grow old with you and just be with you. Only you.”

I tightened my grip. It was meaningful and brave to say. He’s true. We are meant and what we need to do is face and stand whatever chaos life may bring us. Our love is so true.

But then…

I woke up.

-A

5/25/14

The jangling of shackles
those calloused feet
The disgruntled grunt
gnashing and grinding of teeth

In a distinct cell
comes an echo of shrieking voices
Seeking for liberation
Digging for truth

The hope of truce
of the soul
who wanted to be free

Justice from inequality!

-A

7/26/14

On my grave, it will read "regretting all the ships that never sailed" and some people will think it's poetic, but others will know

Here I stand from the assailant of the world
The burden I carry slows me from moving my feet
The daggers they throw lacerated my being

I stumbled with an agonized cry
There's a whammy inside that
I'm too frightened to fight

It's the heap of gaze where believing was crushed.
Perceiving the truth I am thrown underground
A black abyss where screaming won't make any survive.

Just when someone hand me his arm
I submerged from the hole of what's draining my heart

I thought I'm alone but the light stopped by
The lightness He creates is blinding my eyes

I learned that giving up will lose your mind
Ignore the crowd that have push you.
Auscultate what's it beating for.

Reach for the peak and look at your feet. Everyone will gape and see what's beyond.

You're a sky!
That's high you'll become.

-A

7/25/14

One tedious journey, the blistering heat of the day made me stay.
I am home outside the porch exploring my eyes of the panoramic scenery of the countryside.

My mother baked Vanille Kipferl (vanilla crescents) with her own special recipe. The haunting aroma entice through my nostrils. She loves to bake especially on sunny days.

She went out to hand me a plate of cookies and mumbled how magnificent the scenery of the valleys.
True, it is breath taking but she gets to be so flibbertigibbet sometimes.

The tranquility of surroundings is exquisite.
I exhaled and it felt so good.
Rocking the chair, I grabbed an old novel from a table.
The cover was all tattered and dusty but I still flip it.

Then, I walked through a twisting thicket road bound by soil.
The vast green grass sways as the wind dance around them.
The singing of birds is beautiful.
I held my cloche hat while swaying my white regency gown like a lunatic. Every day is a gift. And that gift needs to be value.

I found a shade from an old oak tree at the top largest hill.
It was cozy but I don’t want to sleep, I’m afraid I’ll end up in a Rabbit Hole.  Instead, I climbed the tree with all my might, until I reached the edge.

Up here is different. You can see everything!

The sea is barely visible. Towns and villages are lined up. The atmosphere is heavenly. I embraced the beauty and got down from this old oak tree.

I snatched the book I left on the ground. I hugged it and when I look behind…

I am in a bridge that crosses a canal.

I found a flat-bottomed rowing boat with a man singing.
He looks funny in his striped shirt and black pants.
He grabbed his skimmer and bowed down.
There I go curtsy.
He told me he’ll show me the world. I just hopped in.
The place is floating! There are buildings with such unique architectures.

The man rowed and rowed while singing a song called “O Sole Mio”.
Since it was Neapolitan, I just listened and it sounded romantic.

He said we’re almost there.

…

The honking of vehicles and jamming traffic roused me.
I put the book inside my bag and looked in front.
The cars are huddled together.
These yellow cabs are not moving.

I descend my feet on the ground and shut the door.
The rapid combustion is hideous!

Burger joints, restaurants, people… more people. It’s too crowded.

Anyway, I made my way to this small coffee shop for a little zap!

Then the intense feeling got me clairvoyant.

Flipping pages, I come to enter a portal of a different universe.

In my own little world that no one can get me.

I am the protagonist.

5/25/14

I looked inside your eyes
Where lies the deepest mystery I can't find

The beat of my heart went wild
My thoughts gone berserk
Eventhough you're the greatest ****

I tightened the grip although it slipped
As I tried to hold longer...
It made me wonder

This feelings, it's getting deeper
Deeper than the depths of the deepest ocean
Beneath that depth you'll find me

The heavy feelings made me sank
It happened in the middle of nowhere
I was trying to find a way to get through you

But a lightning struck and killed me
A huge waves of storm smashed me
Then everything just fell

The world is getting dark
I was lost and scared
I shouldn't have sailed
Because it wasn't a bon voyage

But I know, in the end
You'll always find me mon amour

You'll find me wreck and ruined.

-Adele

7/21/14