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It wasn't until I was gone
& came back
& you held me.
It wasn't until then I started to feel
the weight my absence carries
I don't have words for how heavy that feels
& it was then in that moment
I started to feel like a broken promise
in a silent room full of
regret.
I'm not sure if this is
A sickness of the mind or
Of the body.
Not sure if this cough is
Me spitting regret.
Not if this scar is
Real or imagined-
If I lost my voice or
I can't speak.
Undermining one's
Self is almost
Effortless.
Lethal injections
Easily ******,
Such a
Silent surrender.
Him:* I think it goes without saying that you and I are pretty much already set on being friends with benefits, and I want you to know that I'm not going to fall in love with you, and not looking for a relationship at this point in my life. And there are other people that I will be seeing.

I don't know what love is, but I know these past few days I haven't been able to keep my mind off of you.

Him: And if that's anything you're not comfortable with, or your expectations are any different, then it shouldn't happen.

But I want it to.

Him: But the last thing I want is anyone being hurt, and I feel like the best way to avoid that is making sure we don't have different expectations.

Pain is an old friend of mine...*

Me: Nope, I'm cool with that.

— The End —