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abby Dec 2016
I don't want to hear
how nice my hair looks
how pretty my eyes are
or how flattering my top is
Tell me how I made you smile today
How I made you think
How I made you feel
Those are the only words I want to hear
Those are the only words that matter
Let your words pierce my heart not my ego
abby Dec 2016
Here you are again
puffy eyes, dried tears
What was it this time?
You think maybe it's just the usual
maybe you're overreacting
but that doesn't explain
the heaviness in your heart
the exhaustion in your breathe
the feeling of loss
over and over
There's no excuse
for feeling so small
in a place where
there should be magic

Everything seems so dark  
but you have to know
that you are not the rain
nor the thunder
you are the sun
and the sun still rises  
You can't always shine
you have to let darkness
take over for a little while
so your light can shine brighter
than you knew it could

What you don't realize is that
you've already lost him
Now it's time to find yourself
"He's very dreamy, but he is not the sun. You are."
abby Dec 2016
I think I've mastered the art
of disconnection
Often I let myself
ignore my priorities
for things not worth half the attention
I end up overlooking
the appreciation and love
that people in my life deserve
I let my feelings flow out with my breathe
instead of my eyes
I can't seem to remember
the last time I did something
good for myself
It's like as if sometimes
I'm simply just this being
without any human inside
I wonder if it's just a slump
a little reaction to the cold
or maybe it's not
maybe it's a reaction to something much deeper
Whatever it is,
is this me?
abby Nov 2016
don't give me a ring
if it's only going to represent
all the promises
you won't keep
ring's don't mean a thing
abby Nov 2016
Why is it that my arms must bend before they break?
Maybe the winter wind decided that
I needed to be blind-sided with sharp leaves
The snowfall would much rather
Collapse its extra 50 pounds onto my decaying back
Instead

The snap of the wood echoed through
And awoke the sleeping willows

The darkness and the stillness
Did not make it with the sunrise
Wandering ambers of yours
Planted their residues into the core
Of my roots
A fire sparked down my spine
Before the sun set to rosy hues and gradients of light
It engulfed most of what was left
I let it

The snap of the wood echoed through
And awoke the sleeping willows

The remains?
I whispered to the wood
I whispered, “I am here, I am this,
I cannot feel my roots
Nor can I feel my branches
Let your willow leaves fly with open arms”

The snap of the wood echoed through
And the leaves flew past

The harsh winds and leaves only hit
On the coldest days
The scolding snowfall not such a burden
The fire sets when my trunk cannot bear
To hold itself in place

The snap of the wood echoed through
And it is too late to take the remains of destruction
And make it anew
abby Oct 2016
I can no longer feel
the butterflies you let loose
in the depths of my stomach
your scent is washed away
along with the colours of
the sweater you let me borrow
I can't seem to remember
the last laugh we shared
or the first
I don't have the urge
to pick up my phone at 2am
just to hear your voice
I'd rather stay in alone
than plan something
for us together
your face isn't the star
of all my dreams
I can't seem to feel anything
anymore
and I'm scared of what that means
please make it stop
abby Sep 2016
hold it in
don't speak
don't say a word
focus on your breathing
one breathe in
one breathe out
watch it leave your mouth
into the sky
don't stop breathing
close your eyes
clear your mind
think about that day last week
when you laughed so hard
you couldn't stand up
your favourite tv show
your dog waiting for you at home
open your eyes
what do you need to do
where do you need to go
play it out in your head
losen your shoulders
repeat words of encouragement
you can do it
you're ready
just remember
don't stop breathing
(note to self)
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