When did the world become a place I am afraid to live in?
It seems like everyday instead of waking up to smiles and laughter
I awake to news of death and damage
It's not okay
And it shouldn't be the normal
Hate is never the reason to pick up a gun
And shoot
Anger is not the trigger to a bomb
Frustration is not the blade to a knife
But for some, it is
And others will never get the chance to open their eyes again
Or walk another step
Or say I love you
The answer isn't to hate back
But to live in honour of those who can't
To cherish the fact that you are alive
You are here
And you are important

What is it exactly that
made you so enchanted by me?
Is it because it takes hours
to get myself ready to go out,
The way my hair puffs up
whenever it's wet or warm out,
How I leave my ***** dishes
in the sink for a whole week,
When I decide not to sleep
so I can binge watch Netflix,
My nervous talk and laugh
during new social situations,
The anxiety that attacks me
whenever I'm at a low,
Emotions that never fail
to show themselves to the world,
The money that I waste
just to fulfill my need for change,
Procrastination with every task
and the self-regret that follows,
The lack of content every now and then
when I look into the mirror?

What is it exactly that
made you fall in love
with me?

Love was meeting for the first time and asking her for a dance
Love was sitting on the bench in the park when you didn't have money for a movie
Love was being young, wild and free
Love was showing her off to all your friends who wished they could be you
Love was letting yourself go and letting her in
Love was getting up in front of your whole family and giving her a ring
Love was scared
Love was exciting
Love was the big wedding day
Love was the hot sun and deep waves of the honeymoon
Love was buying your own home in an unfamiliar town
Love was beginning new careers
Love was creating two daughters
Love was creating a son
Love was dealing with sickness and unwellness
Love was celebrating holidays and new years
Love was making memories around the world
Love was finding alone time in the midst of chaos
Love was getting through losses of loved ones
Love was finding comfort in spirituality every Sunday
Love was appreciation
Love was growing up
Love was working all day everyday without having the time to say how are you
Love was stressed over all the broken pieces of the past
Love was fighting over who knows what and who knows why
Love was yelling at 2am
Love was trying to connect with her even though she pushed you away
Love was another woman
Love was another man
Love was crying
Love was hurting
Love was realizing that love was not the same

Love was leaving

I don't think you ever realized
how just being in your presence
captivated me more than
I could have wanted
and that wasn't necessarily a problem
until you decided
that you wanted to keep me around
for the purpose of
accompanying you
down a dead end road
that didn't mean half as much to you
as it did to me.
You had so many other paths
to explore and figure out
that you lost control
and hurled yourself my way
without thinking twice.

I don't know you anymore,
but in some way
you've helped me
get to where I am today.

If you love someone,
let them go
right?
But what if you're tethered
by this indestructible string
that pulls you back 3 steps
with every step forward.
What if you look up at your wall
and see that picture from years ago
and can't help but reminisce.
What if you're family
constantly wonders where he is
when he's not with you.
What if you threw away all your rings
to make way for
the one you saw in your future.

How bad do things really have to get
for me to let you go?