I dreamt of walking
walking in a shore
the sea called upon me
inviting, taunting, teasing
She called and called
like a mother that lost her child
and I succumb to her call
wandering, wondering, thinking
should I go?
but my feet led me to her
deeper and deeper I went
The sea cradled me
her icy waters turned warm in my touch
and I went in deeper.
I was drowning
drowning in the warm, salty waters.
and as I woke up from my sleep
I was still drowning.
drowning in my own tears.
And I wished
wished for you to be here.
"What are we? " he asked.
"A gray area."
It's a question I don't want to answer, or rather, a question I'm afraid to answer... Because once I open up the possibility, there's no reset button, no escape route, no other way but forward.
So I'd rather stay in this gray area. It's safer.
I would offend you til my heart aches
And commit numerous mistakes
If it meant keeping you
And keeping my feelings true
I would rather let the butterflies burn
And let my world normally turn
Around the sun until I learn
To forget the feelings i have earned
I would rather float in an endless void
Than gravitate towards your voice
And spend the day in utter silence
Than lose all of my senses
I would rather lie to myself
Than keep our memories on a shelf
Cause loving you means risking it all
That's why I am too afraid to fall.
Wrote this 2 or 3 years ago
Do you remember that night
when we danced under a thousand fairy lights?
Do you remember the way I looked at you
like I uncovered the mysteries of the world?
Do you remember how we laughed
like no one was watching,
like it was only me and you?
I bet you don't.
Because that night
I watched you dance with her
I saw how you look at her,
like the way I look at you
I saw how you smile at her,
like she was your everything
I watched you fall in love with someone else
I remember how I cried with a smile
and a broken heart that night
And I remember how I was happy for you.
"I love you." He said.
I froze. I looked into his eyes asking if it was true, searching for a clue that it might be some crazy joke. But I didn't see any spark of mischief.
All I saw was his brown eyes boring into mine and I drowned.
I drowned, gasping for air that was momentarily absent when my heart skipped a beat.
I wanted to tell him that he is my universe. He is the anchor that keeps me grounded when I wanted to flee from the world's evils. He is the only sane thing in my world full of insanity.
Most of all, I wanted to tell him that I love him, too.
I tried to speak, put thoughts into words. But my thoughts was a mixture of jumbled words racing their way out of my throat. I choked.
"Thank you," was all I said.
I wanted to know you like the palm of my hands but you were a clenched fist I can never open no matter how hard I try.
— The End —