Today I was listenning to the radio and I heard a voice that reminded me of yours. The voice was smooth like nails on a chalkboard. But for some reason, it gave me comfort.

i always thought
you were thru traffic
that you were just jet lag
background noise
the kiss in the rain
i've never had
but what if you aren't?
what if this
was the thousandth time
i have loved you?
what if this is just a fresh coat of paint?
what if god
keeps a handkerchief
soaked in the day we met
next to his bed?
maybe theres a reason
i reach for no one in bed
the way i would
if someone used to be there
you know, they say
the road behind us
is littered with things
we couldn't hold onto
i wonder how many times
you've slipped through my hands
like hour glass sand
do you know
how much erosion you've caused?
i heard cupid
stopped keeping count
of how many times
we came together
just to come apart again
maybe it was just a rumor
it makes me think
about how many times
i've almost had you
like if all this talk
about history repeating itself
endlessly replaying is true
i wonder how many times
things have happened already
like the time
i tried talking you
into loving me back
back fired
or the time i could have sworn
jesus & lazarus were playing chess
with my heartbeat
but it was only you smiling
how many times
have i tried to tell you
how many times
have you read this poem
how many times
have i tried not to meet you
in my dreams anymore
it's like sleep tries to warn
me of what's happening
before it does but
i keep having this dream
where i tell you bedtime stories
and each one
is a different way you die
and in every one
i can never save you
it's like you're this song
i have on repeat
and every time it starts over
i forget the words
it's like you picked up the book entitled "us"
and the back cover
said you'd leave
so you never bothered reading it
tell me you aren't
going back in that bookstore
just to do it again
or will you tell me tomorrow?
or is this the time
you don't say anything at all?
if this has all happened before
if we call it quits
before we begin
again
from the beginning
i just want to ask you
to be my fire
because i am tired
of these old lives
and i'd like to see them
burn

Like the red in my cheeks
You crept into my heart
Love from you is what my mind seeks
Your voice reminds me of the beauty of art

But as the sun warms my skin
I slowly grow old
And the grass on the lonely hills
Gradually fold
And the pain in my eyes become bold

As the rain stabs my window
I'll feel swollen with sadness
And sometimes I see your shadow
Just months ago you lost your madness

Please come back
That's all I ask

You had such a good music taste and you told me to listen to those songs but I never did. And now that we're over the only thing I'm doing is listenning to them, crying. Why did I ever neglect those songs? I neglected you in general and maybe that's why you won't come back to me even though you say you still love me.

Stop falling in love with him
Love is a light that will merely dim

Staring through the cold darkness
As the sky becomes darker

For another night of eternity
I wonder when will this end?

As I lay here
Sadness overcomes my happiness
And I cry until morning

I love you dear
But I hate you
You are the reason I tear
And the reason I write bad poetry

Deliver me from this madness
Break my heart now
Before it's too late
And I've broken myself

You know how possessive I am
Why can't you hate me
I get mad at you for no reason sometimes
I cry for no reason
I wanna slap your face but at the same time I want to kiss you
I hate you.