I don't
have the
things they
love.

I loved you as one loves the first sniff of a *** of instant coffee,
and I loved you as one loves a slight breeze on a slight day.
I loved you as a tree loves its leaves,
and thus I held the winter in disdain.
I loved you as one loves the artful blurs of city lights
succumbing to each other in the September rain.
I loved every slip of my tongue against my teeth
as I set your name out in the world on display.
I loved you like the last unread book on the shelf,
and I loved you like verbosity could not conceivably convey.
And though I loved not like a song, nor like a ballad or an ode,
I loved you with intensity that one could never feign.

Blade to wrist
Gun to my lips
This is not a game
So dont consider it a joke
Rope around my neck
Would it be ironic if i choke

My mom told me Neva start
What you can't finish
So if i pop one pill
Should i not stop till the whole bottle is deplinished

And I just hope that tylenol doesnt False advertise
cause im really just looking for a rapid release

**** IT

.:i I drop to my knees i:.
.:i And begin to pray i:.

"Lord thank you for the day,

But now i must ask that you tell the guards
at the gates to make way
I'm coming home, prepare a room
i feel like this world is crowded with fake people
and for me there is no longer room.
Im not saying i hate people
But I feel I tried my best at it LORD
and i feel as if now my home resides with you
Im just hoping that everything is true.
You know the gold pave roads
My own Acres
My own Mansion
I want to have it Eternaly with you
But lord im smart and i know there is nothing as half truth
so if i take my own life ill never get to meet you
Than I guess it is all worth the trouble
Im just waiting for the day that i get to greet you"
Amen

And if was a glorious rumpus
Of which we made merry,
Stowing each cherry pit of joy between our cheeks,
Hearing them rattle and click against our teeth;
Colliding with our violent fits of laughter.

I sang that song to him, and he smiled a waterfall of cherry seeds.

She is dead long before she took her life
she no longer breath, they suffocated her with arrogance
callousness have bruised her mind
They tied her hands and tortured her with the thought of discontinuance
They pierce her heart with jagged words like "forced leave of absence"
No it wasn't suicide
She was dead when she was born
It was just her apparition
and "Hoping", is just another suicide