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four years ago
my freshman year
i met a boy with dark blue eyes
who added me on myspace
and chatted with me on aim

he didn't really speak to me
or ask me any questions
he only knew what he did
because i talk so much

and somehow
we started dating
which i still don't understand why
because after the first week
i had a feeling in my gut
that i would regret this
in the long run.

we felt the high
and the ecstasy of first love
along with first everything else
including betrayal and agony
the only kind you can feel
when someone you thought
you love does something so
so awful to you.

the first winter we were happy
i think and we made plans for next year
that we broke the majority of
and in the summer we made promises
some that i shouldn't have

a year had passed
and i thought i would
be spending a few more with him
but that winter
i learned that love can grow cold
and freeze over

maybe i had changed too much
or it was him belittling me
telling me that everything i liked
was childish
and a waste of time.

the next year
i had decided that
that would be all i would put up with
i did not deserve this grief
or to be told that
i was too easy.

a friend that morning
had spoken with me and him
and walked with us through the halls
of the beginning of our junior year
and when we were alone
the friend said to me
'your eyes look so dead'

and i will never
forget those words
or forget
his cries on the phone
that night
when i finally
set myself
free
 Nov 2012 Aaron McDaniel
Samuel
To place so much on a
drop of amber is foolish and
perilous and brave and wonderful
It’s the strings of a guitar that remind me of coca butter skin. A warm-hearted harmony transfixes my mind to the california king with ripped bed sheets.  If only you hadn’t tickled the left side of my heart, I could’ve hidden my smile.  You were unexpected, a scientific anomaly.  Blind sided by nervous laughter and beautiful eyes, You’re my Sandra Bullock. You’ve saved me from the darkness of my heart, from all the self-appointed doubts and belief I am everything... But a good man.  It’s the white of your eyes that tells me I’m safe, the dimples of your smile let me know, you trust me. In the years before you, I lived like rusted iron, never thought about, never cared for, looking used and broken.  I was all of these things, because I wanted to be.  I feared of caring, petrified to look into blue eyes, saying, I love you. Weather with luck or broken tan lines, you’ve frozen my fear.  Our first memory is beneath bedsheets, hiding from the friends on the other side of love.  If curiosity kills the cat, I believe I have 8 lives left.  That’ll be long enough to show you that wrinkles above your nose during laughter, is the cutest feature I see.  It was a clouded night sky when we first swapped, I love you’s, I still smell the apple pie we shared.   I’ll cross my heart, hope to die if I forget our five hour mindless midnight argument, we are young adults with minds of children, only we find ice skating funny.  Everything I have is yours, praying that it’ll be enough because when the sky falls down, I’ll want to be standing right next to you.  You’ll be the calm before the storm, the rainbow after rain has seized it’s descent toward troubled grounds. When oceans become puddles, I’ll look back for nervous laughter and beautiful eyes, saving me from the darkness of my heart. I know it’s darkness shall never return, the white of your eyes enlightens the charcoal pieces.  So when the sun burns out, I’ll never be afraid. I’ll have you shield me beneath bedsheets, hiding from those on the other side of something, not yet known.
Night after night
you find a way
to get under my skin
      I have not a single ounce
      of love to give you anymore
      it has been replaced with hatred
           You don't necessarily deserve
            what I have put you through
            but you reap what you sow, *****
                I never expected you to be more
                than what you were capable of being
                apparently that was asking too much
                     So here I sit and write
                     to the man I thought I loved
                     who turns out to be nothing more
                                     than a boy
                                      a coward
                                      a phony
                                            -
For the sake of future sight and love and light.
Lets just say that I'd be gray if I have to live another day without a glace from you.
I will forgive the acts of treason.
If we could live with no rime or reason.
I believe that these feeling aren't made up.
Every time I think of your face I get locked into a warm liquor bottle embrace.
Self  destructing is something I'm touching.
My feeling have been domesticated and my rights have been emancipated.
**I'm in rough shape.
Another weave and another goal to achieve.
If the road to hell is paved in blood.
Then the road to heaven is paved in love.
I think it's time I let my emotions flood.
And I thinks it's time we soar like doves.
i swam before i can walk
i dreamed before i could talk
i dreamed of stories
i dreamed from stories
awake asleep
awake in sleep
i float i fly
i swam i cry
i lived i died
i loved i lied
i gained my strength from them
i am weakened as well
from childhood to tween
to teen to twenty
i never stop to dream
will this be my only life
among the clouds up sky
will i ever live a life
will i ever live the dream
or let dream die a dream
let the dream eat me away as i sleep
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