It's 4:39 in the morning
I should've been asleep an eternity ago
But I decided to watch a movie
Or something to promote the smiths I think so
Jokes aside heaven knows I'm miserable now
Or I always have been
But the one thing i realised is
Maybe I really haven't experienced what heartbreak was?
Yeah i went through a breakup, but it's just not the same
Am I stupid to want a love that shatters me the moment it drops on the floor?
Would someone ever care about me like I'm a fragile little glass flower
Or would they always treat me like I'm just a plastic box, unbreakable.
Well it's my fault too, the way I take those beatings to my heart as they slowly breaks me up
But for once in my life, could I just get what I want?
Maybe it's all imagination, The term love
But coincidentally that's where I reside my imagination
With my dreams to get shattered like a bottle of old monk
I should probably head to sleep, cause it's 4:45 now
And I hope I return here before somebody completely breaks my heart.

Lying on the bed like I always do
Cant comprehend that I can't cry for you
I haven't shed my tears thrice ever since you left
But even the thought of losing you made me dwell in pain back then
I don't know if I'm hiding it all in some buried deep cage or maybe I turned out to be tough after all
But I can't even think of any thoughts about you
Wasn't I supposed to be a big little disaster of unstable emotions and a bucket full of tears according to them all
But all I'm is numb about it all
I try to hate you with every bit of my heart that was once consumed whole by you
But the feeling of love in my blood hasn't completed its circulation after all
Am I still In love? do I hate you? Or Do I not give a **** at all
Should I feel ashamed because you think it was all my fault?
Or should I stand by my feelings and how it turned out to be your fault after all
Our hearts once connected breaking through the allegations that we put upon us
I know you still think about me
But do I really not care about it anymore?
Or is this another concierge that i use to hide away my feelings
I know I'll keep wondering why
Until every other night of lying on my bed
Like I always do