i fell asleep on your lips once again
the taste of pomegranate and champagne
yet morning mimosas couldn't water down the pain
from sunrise
to sunset
your body wrapped around me
and i'm still waiting to feel alive
sin and yang
crooked charcoal paintings on pearl white walls hang
a mix of blue and violet
i sat in darkness hearing the teardrops fall
asleep in my arms
but your warmth wasn't enough to reach my freezing heart
mistake dropped down my lips
you wiped my sins with your soft fingertips

the thing is,
my past is an eclipse
and constantly looking back
gave me scars on my sterling skin
and made me blind
to nights of sin

shivering on top of this roof,
burnt cigarettes in the shingles of the accused.
and in this cold weather,
my jacket and your words shared one thing;
a lack of proof.
immersed in thought,
i retract my youth.
and thinking back to my childhood,
memories blue.
thinking not how a child should,
no one had a clue.
it's no ones fault and i know i shouldn't blame you,
that's not what stuck, it's what i prayed to.
the sound of my stomach has become louder than my thoughts,
and i know i should stop writing but you took my ******* heart.

selfish you are.
selfish you are.
selfish you are.

i never felt like this before
and a broken hearts the closest thing i’ve felt since loves galore
hours of music i heard the words you sang to me
hours of havoc i yelled the words you threw at me
and i never knew what to believe
words lost their meaning when i repeated
but somehow your name just kept its meaning
and ive been talking to god looking for a reason
but thats why he hasn’t written a book since the seventh season
and i’ve been wanting to grieve since
two years ago on early july the fifth
but i’ve been holding it in
blasting music on my drive home
i drowned you out
driving too fast
i crashed the route
took a deep breath of liquid death
swallowed my pride and drove the side
blue lights couldn’t stop me from driving fast
and as long as i can still hear your voice my foot remained heavy on the gas
but i hit traffic
and just like the red lights stopped the cars behind me
i came to a stop

stuck in traffic on 101
it took 2 hours of silence to realize you’re the one i want

smoke until i burn my throat
the thought of you flames my hurt

i need you
to leave me
alone

you left but your ghost still haunts me.


they say there is no love without pain
but i’m so tired
and lost of love to gain