saint

saint Jun 2018

smoke until i burn my throat
the thought of you flames my hurt

i need you
to leave me
alone

you left but your ghost still haunts me.

they say there is no love without pain
but i’m so tired
and lost of love to gain

https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/i-hold-my-hands-together-and-pray-im-heaven/pl.u-oZyl3mZTp3NzoZ

saint Jun 2018

the path i take, [path-e-tic]

**** my spirit
and harvest my feelings-

relinquish my presence
by praying for me-

severed hands can’t fold for god.
prideful knees
and egotistical thoughts.

**** my liver
and harvest my kidneys-

smoke out my lungs
and burn my heart-

my body is worthless
my spirit weighs more than god.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/i-hold-my-hands-together-and-pray-im-heaven/pl.u-oZyl3mZTp3NzoZ

saint May 2018

hold and don't dare you let go

in this city of wonder i feel lost and with somber
feelings of home i ran away from the load
on my back i held on to the feelings i lack
the strength to commit to this life i’m attached
the raindrops on my scalp represent the tears of relapse

so baby wont you hold and don’t dare you let go
i want to behold the love in my core

this blood from my nose and the white i endorse
the liquor i pour turned to pain that adores
the broken organs that play a tune deep inside of me
i beg you to stay but you don’t think of this world
i want you to leave but you don’t walk out this door
the paper that burns in my lips should be yours
i want you to stay so baby don’t you go
i’m yelling to the stars, i’m screaming at the sky
if my tears were blood red i’d bleed out and die
but baby don’t you go and don’t you dare lie
to my face i’m scarred from the light
of your eyes that shine so bright in the night

so baby wont you hold and don’t dare you let go
i want to behold the love in my core

in this city of wonder i feel lost and with somber
feelings of home i ran away from the load
on my back i held on to the feelings i lack
the strength to commit to this life i’m attached
the raindrops on my scalp represent the tears of relapse

so baby wont you hold and don’t dare you let go
i want to behold the love in my core
so baby wont you hold and don’t dare you let go
i want to behold the love in my core
so baby

https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/i-hold-my-hands-together-and-pray-im-heaven/pl.u-oZyl3mZTp3NzoZ

saint Mar 2018

handcuffed in the back of a police car- i died in toronto.

i don’t blame you much,
and it was no surprise that you didn’t mourn my love.
and to the soul of my heart i’m sorry.
my hearts all bruised
plus,
my minds gone loose.
a cannon bore fruit
and my limbs gone blue.
i sold my love for golden roots.
the handcuffs turned too tight but my dead body didn’t seem to mind.
tongue like broken glass my bloods in shambles.
and to the soul of my heart i wish i was stable.
and to the love of my life i wish you’d stay but
it’s too late.
****** wrists
i died flooding lips.

handcuffed in the back of this car- i died in toronto

https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/i-hold-my-hands-together-and-pray-im-heaven/pl.u-oZyl3mZTp3NzoZ

saint Feb 2018

i locked my love to a bridge and it's still there to this day

on opposite sides of the world we loved each other like there was no space.
you came to me and i ran to you like we had no time to waste.

above the water we soaked in the sun and held hands by the grass.
holding onto the bridge i lost my balance.
to let go would lead me falling to the stars.
and when it came to leaving we were both terrified of what would come.
loneliness and fear of losing us.
but on opposite sides of the world we loved each other like there was no space.

i sent you a lock with my name and you sent me one with yours.
leaving my signature on yours and your letters on mine we locked each others on the bridge above the water.
you weren’t there but i soaked in the sun and held onto the bridge to keep my balance.
never could we drift away because we had locked the world together.

on opposite sides of the world we loved each other like there was no space.
as long as the bridges were tied down then so were we.

-

my lock held strong throughout the years- through earthquakes and rain.
and yours got unlocked the moment you met him.

i know where the keys are but i’m keeping my lock.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/i-hold-my-hands-together-and-pray-im-heaven/pl.u-oZyl3mZTp3NzoZ

saint Feb 2018

i hold my hands together and pray i'm heaven

gardens of fruit- i bite my lips thinking of you.
snow on my thoughts,
my fingertips are blue to reflect on my mood.
i miss you more and i miss you too.
i lose my head sometimes
so i
hold my hands together and pray i'm heaven.
gardens of fruit- i plant gardens in you.
rain on my thoughts,
my fingertips are **** from the fire burning in you.
-
god knows you broke my heart,
so you're going to hell.
getting mended in heaven but you're not there.
so i lie to god
and get sent straight to your care.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/i-hold-my-hands-together-and-pray-im-heaven/pl.u-oZyl3mZTp3NzoZ

saint Nov 2017

it got cold again and my hands finally have an excuse to shake

i thought of you again.
writing these words i can barely concentrate,
because your smile appeared in my head
and closing my eyes doesn’t seem to help.
our love was a candle,
a flame too weak to handle
the wind of the world.
im cold and stranded.
i used up all my love on you.
so when i pop up in your brain,
just know i can’t even stand you.
and my heart isn’t the only thing thats hollow.
these pill bottles are filled with sorrow.
empty promises and love notes.
but somehow,
none of these drugs
will ever explain why my heart hurts.