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Ramblur Playfool Jan 2021
Come

I will play a song of sorrow and sin
Dance with me
Let the fickle moon witness
Broken hearts dancing to unheard music

Come

I will embrace your scarred body
Lay with me
Let memories fall as tears
Bed of feathers made of white wings

Come

I will etch moments upon your heart
Walk with me
Let the shifting leaves know
Forgotten hopes burnt upon our skin

Come

I will chase you till my lungs burn
Sing with me
Let the sleeping forest listen
Dreams of love echoes upon the wind

Stay

I will love you till my death
Be with me,
Let love scream it's painful sound
Ashes from a burnt out fire

Leave

Sunrise plays it's hollow tune
Gone is the oasis, here are the hot dunes
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2016
I'm having those pen and paper moments where my words and poetry are so honest I'm scared of sharing them. But since since they're about you, about us I thought you should know. We started out strangers like everyone else, spent time together and became friends and all the time I found out things about you that made me develop feelings about, habits that I didn't think anyone else would see, how when you were explaining something about something that happened or about someone else you would look me directly in the eye with confidence but when you talked about yourself it was hard for you to look me in the eye like you were afraid you'd see judgment in my eyes, the way when you walk towards me from a distance you looked at your toes a few times and when you got close enough to see my smile you always used your left hand to move your hair behind your ear, the way you start waving your hands when you explain something you didn't like. In those moments I realized that you were the type of girl that wanted a relationship to have a solid beginning, were a guy would ask you to be his girlfriend and not just happen to become it. That you wanted someone that would accept how busy you are and how he should know he has your heart and that the other guys really are friends. I realised that I could fall for you, that if we kept going I would....?.... I started thinking to myself that I think I really like this girl and I'm not sure I deserve her, I want her to be happy and I don't know if I'm that for. Because I knew right now I am not at my best and I'd  like to only give you my best. I am capable of alot but like every guy out there I need someone to guard the one part of me I can't protect my heart and I can support your burdens no matter what happens I am strong enough for that. So I guess I'm here now thinking that I've decided to ask you out, and hope you'll give me the chance to make you happy and hopefully be good enough to be your significant other and see were the road tells us.
Part of my letters collection
Ramblur Playfool Oct 2018
Your accent
Is filled with rhythm
Old sound
Of a people unbeaten  

Your body
Of abundant curve
Your *****
Has nurtured generations  
Your womb
Has birthed heroes

You are unmoved
Strength defined
You are love
Unmarked by time

You are brown
You are natural
You are African
Most beautiful
Ramblur Playfool Jan 2021
I can feel you there
Loitering
Waiting, yearning
For my thoughts to take a abrupt left turn

I reject you
You the weakness within me

You cloud my vision
You consume my hope
You devour my opinion
You erase the truth I wrote

I will not find love
I will not know peace
I will not change anything
I will not see the moment I meet my goals

I reject you
You the fear within me

I will find my truths
And the path that I need to take
I will achieve my dreams
And the peace that is my purpose
All
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2016
All
You've captured that part
taken what I had hidden
You've moved us past the start

You can take it, parts I had ditched
Because I know you will cherish
Broken parts you've now stitched

When I am the summer heat
And love is my every thought
You let taste things so sweet

I can no longer feel afraid
For you have killed doubt
You have left me amazed

All of it, All of me, all of him
Parts that are ragged,
Even parts that are prim
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2018
So I thought about for a minute,
If my heart in this dance is fully in it,
If it's a thought my mind my soul persuaded,
Or image held from marks I seeded

Then I remember that i can't ignore her smile,
Even when it comes from phone dial,
For it's seems to ask me to stay awhile,
From scars it quests for another mile

So forgive me love if I lose my way,
And our hearts have seen better day,
Just know though I write and rarely say,
I hope our feelings will forever stay

Let me hold you and share these moments,
And let me know if your heart I own it,
For you deserve more than a love that's broken,
You deserve a love where your heart us truly stolen

Let me feel you, let me love you,
Let me be your partner and life we will go through
Ramblur Playfool Nov 2016
I have always wondered, when I am sad, wallowing and broken.

I can feel my heartbeat slow the deeper I fall into melancholy, as if my soul itself is leaving my body.

If I were to keep falling into the darkness, the cold, the ocean depths where thoughts and emotions are covered by a cloud of numbness, will I reach a point where my heart would stop?

Would I then be dead, or would I find a world in between where all the broken souls go, where we all float in a state of non existence combined with a frozen state of feeling.

Can my sadness **** my heart?

Am I the only one who has those moments, I think not.

Because sometimes,

when I look at you, you look as if your heart is frozen from your burdens.
Ramblur Playfool May 2016
Aggression fills my pen
Gripped tight within my palm
Understand me
Understand the words I write

For lust and ecstasy
Trying to complete myself
This mess I cannot control

The velvet skin, the salty rain
The blood shed from my back
I cannot lay it down to still
I cannot calm this urge to be

More I want I grip this pen
To lose myself once more
Addicted to a poisonous aroma
When I lay in hands with another
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2016
So I am sitting in the park doing a few sketches, of people, pets, tress buildings even the sky the Saturday morning sky. It's that time of year again, mid February when all is red and heart shaped.

I am alone amongst couples picnics thinking about the evening ahead, how I will try sweep your feet away from you, try my best to make you smile and make you fall deeper in love with me. Remind you again why we started this journey you and me. I see the happiness on their faces, the love in their eyes, the memories in the way they hold hands and the security to each others presence. I see the promise of tomorrow in the look of love that paints these strangers faces. I can feel their love spreading to me, their happiness their shy glances and the small habits belonging only to lovers. The little bits and pieces that put together the portrait of loves look. I could hear birds sing, the wind breezes sweet whispers, and the caress of the morning sun.

Everything stopped dead.

I saw a figure, I saw  2 figures one belonging to you. With hands together, smiles full and the look of love fluttering across your faces. A heartbeat passed. I saw the slow kiss that was exchanged between the 2, the hands moving to waist of him, the hands moving from shoulders to neck, yours caressing his entire existence.

A heartbeat passed.

I saw loves look deep within your eyes penetrating my fire.

A heartbeat passed.

I felt the wet of the beginning if an endless rain upon my face, the earthquake that shook my soul.

A heart beat passed.

You walked past me, me hidden amongst the crowd, hidden by newly cut hair, large sunglasses and a beard neatly trimmed. You didn't see me, never looked I'm my direction. I thought to myself how, no more importantly what now. I could feel the chasms form in my heart swallowing life, I could feel the drops of my souls leaving from my eyes. I could feel the cold wind absorbing my fire leaving me frozen.

I stood up and walked, I walked with the eyes red, hands shaking, sobs stifled by pride and I walked. Out of your heart out of your life, towards the darkness of solitude the hollowness of betrayal. Preparing myself for the calls at midnight asking for forgiveness and the worthless tears you would show to me. I would show you my strength that even when I am shattered I can stand. And say to you "I saw you you didn't see me, in the place surrounded by green and fitted by lovers. I saw the look of love on your face without me. Goodbye" and forever I will remember, on the day of roses and heart shaped gifts, you turned love's look to heartbreak.
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2018
So you asked me to send a vn to help you ***, hahahah well I guess I'll give it a go. First though I need you to hear this.

It began as lust,
In a desire to mark you,
With every bite and ******,
And leave you with shades of blue

The it began to change,
Where kisses slowed,
my heart uncaged,
A red ribbon between us flowed

It become love,
To stop the time,
Sating heart that's starved,
And call each other mine

Now my heart is yours,
Our bodies dance,
Opened all doors,
And together we advance

For my heart is owned by you,
The arrow of my heart aimed true

So anyways I've been going over the best scenario of which we could **** in, like the ultimate **** I guess.

Whether we **** at work or at a loft in a shower, and I think this is the one.

It uses a voucher pretty well to my thinking.

My name is Luke, and I live in a loft apartment in new York, I move between it and the one in the uk quite abit but my studio is based here in the NY. I am architect, writer, painter, sculptor, chef and a avid reader. I am single, a bachelor in my early thirties',
And I am also one of times most eligible bachelors.

I am Vanessa, I live in a Studio in Paris, though I own multiple properties around the world, I am mostly based in Europe. I am an architect, a writer, a dancer, a photographer and an avid reader. I am single, in my early thirties, and I travel the world finding pieces of myself.

This is one of our encounters.

Vanessa's setting:

Her arms are heavy, she's spent the entire day moving around since her flight came in only this morning.

The exchanging of currencies to dollars took long this time, longer than it should of, so it took longer to buy what she needed, the light blue lingerie, lace as usual, stockings, the new night gown, food and some such.

All the things she'll need for tonight. She has plans for later, ages abit nervous ages never done this before.

She unlocks the door and goes in, abit late but she'll make it.

It's only just hit 17:00

Luke's setting:

His blazer across his bag next to him on the passenger seat, he's hungry and tired.

He's had quite the long day, work went into late again today.

His meetings with artists took longer than he thought he would, but the sun is still up and the shades cover his eyes from the afternoon sun.

His 1967 Shelby Mustang is running smoothly, all American muscle. Not a bad drive, not too much traffic, well for a New Yorker that is.

But he made it to the parking in good time, It's only 18:30.

The vehicle life takes him upwards into the apartment and he walks into the lounge, as the lift fixes in place in the middle of the loft.

He sees her, she sees him.

Luke: Are you really here?
Vanessa: Unexpected?
Luke: Well I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

The shock on his face was short lived, his attention was fully caught up with the sight of her.

The light blue lace was caressing her body, it held her, pushed her full chest upwards and right showing it's shape, she was... as her skin lighter was catching light in the most ****** way he had ever seen. Her absorbed her, the sight of her.

He could feel his heartbeat speed up, he could see all the ways he could take her on the kitchen counter she laid on.

Luke: I didn't realise you would use the key so quickly, I only posted it a few weeks ago.
Vanessa: Well I couldn't stay away, only so much can be taken from words on paper.

He stood next to her now, His bag already forgotten, glasses jacket and tie already off, and he still drank her with his eyes. His eyes absorbing ever part of her.

Luke: You are mine
Almost a whisper

Vanessa: Take me

His right hand gripped her thigh with a hunger she felt up her back, her neck hair standing. His left cares her check softly with the ends of his fingers.

They kiss and all thought flees. The hunger held too long takes over.

She rips his shirt of, buttons flying, her bra is taken, stockings torn.

He is devouring her scent, her feel, her taste, her entire being through the kisses he places all over her.

She is already lost in the moment, his string grip makes her want him more, his muscles well maintained have given it the perfect strength, not too much not too little.

They both lay on top of the kitchen counter, him on top of her, both only one their basic underwear now.

He moves of, takes her legs owns them, underwear already torn, and with barely controlled aggression puts his head between her thighs to taste her.

She moans loudly from it, the ecstasy moving through her as he eats her out, she's already on the brink with him ******* and licking her shaven *****.

He lets go, It's not enough, he pulls her of and turns her around, three quick spankings crack the air from his firm hand , she moans aloud once more.

He's rock hard now, pulsing with desire, with a string **** of her head backwards to his chest, and her back arched, behind facing her, he pushes his **** in. Her ***** gives slowly, but with a strong ****** he goes all in and nudges her womb.

A soft scream mixed with a moan of ecstasy leaves her, she could've never imagined how big he was, how well he fit. And he moved.

Each ****** harder and faster, she could feel his entire duck pushing her insides apart, he could feel her tight on him.

Luke: This is what you wanted isn't it?

He says while he ***** her.

Vanessa: Yes

She's breathe less, between his **** and his questing hands that squeeze her body she's beyond what she's known as pleasure.

She comes in quick succession 5 times while there, her juices flowing both down their legs.

He turns her around, licks her up and pushes her against the free standing lounge wall. The exposed brick scratches her but she does not feel it she's already lost in the dance, he pushes inside again with her against it, chest to chest he takes her there against the wall.

Their lips interlocked moans escaping between kisses the ****, sweat beginning to lave them both he's approaching his limit she feels too good but he's held his own.

She feels him thicken inside her, he's about to come put he pulls out, she moves by reflex going on her knees and putting her **** in her mouth while stroking his ***** with one hand.

He **** while ***** him, his muscles tensing, while she drinks him down in gulps.

They both trembling stand there in each others arms, they know this is only a short rest from a whole night of desire filled *******.
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2018
From my veins I have ripped open,
A metallic liquid flows like spring,
It ebbs a grief for what is lost,
And a memoir of a love now stolen

This bitter melody that slowly plays,
Is reminiscing of peeling white paint,
For though love may avoid a ***** taint,
It is no assurance that it will stay

And I bleed heavy morose scents,
For my heart is slowly pumping sadness,
as it leaves it scribbles words in crimson,
And pictures of not long past scenes.

I bleed my memories of you,
As I remember our ended dreams,
I bleed my love for you,
As our love comes apart at the seams.
Ramblur Playfool Jan 2021
Beat slow,
My mind is spinning.
Times stopped,
Our love is ending.

A moment passes,
You hold my hand.
Pull me close,
You make me stand.

Eyes bleed,
You tell me lies.
River runs,
I hold my truth.

Kiss goodbye,
You run from me.
****** lips,
A knife of steel.

Figure shrinks,
Vague memory.
A day away,
Gullible vanity.

Dissecting words,
Not once nor thrice.
Echoes aloud,
Our loves plight.

My thoughts are full,
On grass I lay.
Replay a moment,
Please won't you stay.

A bitter truth
I hold within,
We died the moment
You chose to sin.
Ramblur Playfool Nov 2016
They ask why I do not speak,
Why I am not using my words,
When I don’t know how to keep,
And why my heart is exposed to cold

I've made mistakes that caused harm,
I thought all could be fixed by actions,
If I kept myself strong and calm,
That I could earn others forgiveness

But the scars I've caused are deep,
And the guilt too heavy a burden,
I can barely close my eyes to sleep,
For others happiness I have stolen

Forgive me for my bitter rants,
My vengeful stabs of jealousy,
Days that I was only unpleasant,
And the harm I caused indifferently

I know I ask for more than I deserve,
More than I have shown for others,
I hope you see small light preserved,
That bleeds every day for lost lovers

So let me love, and let me soar,
For I have not lived to the end,
Let me try and shine once more,
And this darkness transcend
Ramblur Playfool Mar 2016
This window sill is my comfort
This slow evening breeze my company
This lightless cityscape is my playground
This empty echo within my soulmate

I am flying in the sky,
Swimming in the ocean.
I ponder the meaning of life,
And the morality of abortion
I shake to a silent rhythm,
Change paper with emotion.
I paint black and white portraits,
Taming my heart's commotion.

How do you not see the bonfires that light past the midnight clock
Or hear the symphony of hearts singing through the darkness
How do you not hear the soft wind and tall waves hitting stagnant pillars of piers and docks
Or hear the echo of solitude and self-reflect hidden in the emptiness

Heavy are the weights of memories of my past.
Heavy are the thoughts of attempts to reach hearts.
Heavy are the dreams chasing far far-off pictures.
Heavy are the responsibilities of men with strong statures.

I belong with the feathered creatures,
I belong in early morning bleakness.
I dream therefore I hope, I breathe therefore I move,
I make choices with love and happiness therefore I've only now begun to live
This is one of my favourites, hope you like it.
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2016
I am man from unkempt head to toe,
I am man mind, heart, body and soul
I am man from birth to ash over coals,
I am man from desert sand to river flow

Can I break the earth with my touch
Can I freeze the sky with my breath
Can I be brave and embrace death
Can I burn on empires with a torch

Am I willing to lead lost people
Am I the one to make countless revel
Am I to take things to new levels
Am I truly that capable
Ramblur Playfool Oct 2018
I had a question that I could only asked if I died and everything around me fell into the abyss because I was the core that it was birthed from.

This was a dream.

Was dying my waking up
Was the abyss my memory
What was the question but more importantly,
Who was it meant for?

I had a dream.
Ramblur Playfool Oct 2018
Living with an altered stare of mind
My thoughts become the world I see
I peel the image birthed from the same kind
I discover that purpose amounts to a recurring dream

I use the physical manifestation of my existence
To craft a piece of my intangible parts
This world where immortality is bound to presence
I capture time within a soul filled art

In this world where every man is template
I carve a portion of myself to show my kin
Hope that it is unique yet filled semblance
I gift the world my graces and my sins

I am an artist
A creative being
I hate to love it
A lonely thing
Ramblur Playfool Jul 2016
This is the third letter I write about you, hopefully the last. Hopefully all the ones I wrote including this one will paint the picture of both my feelings as they are, and my thoughts.

I've said alot in the past few days, maybe weeks. I've let my thoughts roam in a bid to understand you. But as all things go, I might've lost myself in that thinking.

I lost myself to the innocent feelings I felt for you, and as fun as that was I needed to awaken in a way from them. To think about exactly what I want from you, and I guess I made up my mind.

We are friends already, I want us to be friends, I want us to stay friends.

I should apologise for my fooling around, what I've been doing is kind of insensitive. You've come out of a relationship and though I've mentioned this so many times I do think its because its that important. With the promises I've made of waiting for you I think I've given you a false image, though I had meant them at the time I've realised that that's not what I want.

What I want is you, not in the love struck, in the form of pure desire, physical want.
But also I enjoy spending time with you, working with you and talking as awkward as that is at times and doing what we've been doing. Our friendship as it was and is, is what I want.

Lets leave this thing of love and relationships, this thing were I seem to be pursuing you, I think its too early to be dealing with the matters of the heart, for the both of us. So I'll stop doing the things that seem to be based on emotions and require reciprocation, because doing them now would be shallow.

Let's talk of travel and places we've never been, lets spend free moments in between work watching series in each others arms as we do, lets spend nights sharing the same "bed" as that is, lets spend hours working on our archistudies and such when we are together. I don't think doing this is a thing of the heart, I think its both out of convenience and desire that's makes this happen.

I think that's the type of friendship that works for us, I don't think I really care much right now about where we end up, more I care for getting what I need to be done and I'm sure you're the same.

Lets be friends, like friends as we are suppose to be, and I'll stop this childish I've been playing as fun as it was. Let's do what we can, what we want to, whether that's taking road trips together, or simply chilling indoors, whether that's working together, or going out for a snack. These things aren't only meant for lovers.

It's not as if I stopped caring, I've started to care in a deeper way, a more mature way. The way I should to make us work.

Lets be us as we should be.

Your friend
CALM THOMAS
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2016
What is the earth between
But a simple scene
What is the time spent in dreams
But the future we've foreseen

We are across mountains
Separated by tarred roads
We are sipping from a fountain
Holding back from thirsts goads

Each time we talk move closer
Souls moving ever deeper
Each time our bodies grow hotter
Lusts rampage we silently suffer

As the time moves forward
I lose myself in the coming future
Each time my smile turns broad
The distance becomes even more meager

I cannot trust myself with you
For I know these feelings are true
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2016
Her: I love you? Him: ......I care for you? Her: Is that all? Your such an *******.?
Him: Do you think so? I don't want to lie to you.?
Her: What do you mean??
Him: Let me tell you what it means when I say I love someone, what it I love you truly means.? Him: Love is when I can walk up to you and say that I saw you yesterday, but today  you are more beautiful than I have seen you any day, than I've seen you everyday, than I told you you were yesterday. Love is when I can hold your hand and walk with you saying nothing and sometimes looking you in the eye and still feel like we spoke in volumes. Love is when we have an argument and I feel like I can't do it anymore, and I can walk away from you knowing that tomorrow I can come back, hold you in my arms and say I'm sorry and everything will go back to being normal. Love is when I can listen to you tell me about every part of you, about the parts you love about yourself and the parts you hate. When I can listen to you tell you about the mistakes you've made, the people you've hurt and the people who've hurt you. Love is when I can take one look at you, go to the store buy you ice cream, snacks and hire a dvd for us to watch because I can see only at a glance that you've had an awful day. Love is when everything I do when I'm not with you isn't as colourful, when I be with you outside of life. Love is when we help each other to reach our goals and forever doesn't matter because we are trying to make the best of today and tomorrow together. Its when I am yours, and you are mine; mind, body, soul and heart.? Her: .......I don't know what to say......?
Him: Let me ask you then. Do you love me? If you do then don't leave because I don't. Stay with me and give me chance to fall in love with you too.
Ramblur Playfool Sep 2016
Memories are flashing
I'm reminiscing
They keep on surfacing
As my mind keeps contemplating
Don't know if I'm living in the past
But life these days
always seems move to fast
Like everyone is a member of a cast
And the person they show
Seems to be hollow and daft
Forgive me if I ruin their mood
When all their true natures
Are hidden under a hood
And their actions are vague
Because they're afraid to be misunderstood
And be the person they
All they know that they should


But I'll just keep silent
And grab a sip of another
While sitting and thinking about
This rain and thunder
And my friends seem
To enjoy this illusion
And never stop searching
for what it is their missing
.....
Yeah
....
But I'll just keep silent
And grab a sip of another x2

Sometimes I catch glimpses
Of days while I rode my bike
And didn't spend my time
Collecting names like Adidas or Nike
When betrayal didn't mean that
your back would run through by a pike
Just because another discovered
And advantage even if it was slight
To move his reputation an inch forward
By making you bleed in alleys night
But if its fright, fear that they can
Never ambitions height
And see for themselves
What comes from that sight
And run away from being the man
Who speaks about all of his maybe's and might's

But I'll just keep silent
And grab a sip of another
While sitting and thinking about
This rain and thunder
And my friends seem
To enjoy this illusion
And never stop searching
for what it is their missing
.....
Yeah
....
But I'll just keep silent
And grab a sip of another x2

Maybe if my heart could forget
The woman I have met
Some how these thoughts wouldn't
Cause me fret
And let me join all the people
Who spend life on the set
And live in a way where
They won't have to take risks or bet
But the truth
Is even if I stifle
These thoughts that are a mirror
with those that believe life is a trifle
And can never see past
What they think is simply a hassle
Maybe I'll too be able to win
And for once it not to fight this inner battle

But I'll just keep silent
And grab a sip of another x3
blast from the past
Ramblur Playfool Mar 2016
Slowly sinking
Memories of better days
Staring at the sky's reflecting
Falling down to bitter silence,
Light is slowly fading
My lungs are empty,
Pain from water filling
Up the warmer crevices of my soul,
I'm burning
Bubbles flow away from me,
Life is leaving
Tears are streaming
Silently my heart is screaming
Save me I can't find strength,
Keep on moving
My arms are searching
Thoughts of flailing
Memories of times of failing
My soul is drowning
Slowly, peacefully,
My love for her is dying
Disarray thinking
Resemblances,
days spent loving
I can't grasp the fading
days I was alone,
Days of dreaming
Ramblur Playfool Mar 2016
I have fallen, in love or grace?
I am fire, I am lightning?I set my lovers ablaze
Dreams of loving dreams of living

Pelted by an endless rain
Storm so thick there is no sight
Hail on heart adding scars on pain
Warmth eating snowy nights

Bitter taste of unswallowed blood
Numb from thought, numb from dark
Yearning for sun to come in flood
I am dreaming contrast is stark?

Eyes closed dreams of flowers of spring  ,Colour of autumn
Fallen tears already dried, thoughts no longer solemn
Happiness I find in late Summer's blossoms
Ramblur Playfool Oct 2018
When she was sad, she felt.
When she was happy, she lived.
When she was angry, she burned.
When she was hurt, she loved.

She was oh so beautiful.
Ramblur Playfool Mar 2016
I am fire, I am the distant stars
I am the light that shines in caverns of hearts
I am the warmth that heats up souls lost
I am the blazing heat at summer noon
I am the desert sand without moisture
I am the living coals giving off my searing heat
I am the morning sun heating up your soul

You are ice, you are hollow blizzard
You are pelting hail, freezing snow
You are winter night in the middle of June
You are titanic breaker, ice berg hidden
You are cold hearth without dying coals
You are stagnant dry ice, cold to burn
You are the cooling breeze caressing skin

Together we are natures plight
Elements never meeting never needing
My heat would melt your icy walls
And turn your person into vapor
You cold would cool my burning heat
And steal my heat emptying my soul
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2016
Lover
I loved you,
I cared for you,
I lived for us,
And you broke me,
You said it didn't matter,
You said I could do better

Bleeder
I cried for you,
I missed you,
I longed for you,
And you ignored me,
You said I should move forward,
You said I shouldn't have bothered

Sleeper
I faced solitude without you,
I faced loveless *** without you,
I faced starless skies without you,
And you never heard me,
I decided to pursue a better self,
I decided to forgive myself

Searcher
I found myself without you,
I loved myself without you,
I moved forward without you,
And you'll never know this me,
I decided to put myself first,
And quickly I became best,
I decided to love wholly again,
And realised that you were my bane

Believer
Now I travel 16 hours to new places,
Finding adventure in new faces,
Now I spend time amongst friends,
In them my soul has been cleansed,
Now I am the picture of love and composure
So I thank you for you made better, stronger
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2016
From silence to strangers
To black ink spilt neatly on pages
From heart happy while its vacant
To the possibility I'm taken

Are we really heating up so quick,
Again turning into love's addicts,
I don't know whether to concede,
Whether to begin to feed,
Greed born from hearts soft need
Should we really plant this seed?
Moving to lover's innocent deeds

I'm afraid, how can I not be?,
When every moment there's fire
Pressing buttons and screens,
Messages that feelings now sire
No I'm terrified of this fire
I don't know whether this will take us
Lower, deeper or higher

We cannot halt this slow dancing,
We cannot stem this rivers flowing,
So I hope, while we are burning,
From passion we've decide to keep birthing
That in these flames that come in beginnings
We don't lose the chemistry and this turns
To just another memory spent flirting
Ramblur Playfool May 2016
I hope my words reach you
Stranger that I've never met

I hope my words change you
Person I have never met

I hope my words save you
Angel I have never met

I hope....
I hope my words reach you,
Lover I have never met,
and make you remember,
The sun will always rise after it has set
Ramblur Playfool Jul 2016
So I did alot of thinking, mostly this morning. I thought about my feelings towards you and the past you need to move forward from.

I understand where you are, as I have been there once before, but I gave also been here before. Where I am waiting for a heart that may never come, all while letting my feelings grow deeper in wait.

I would like to think that this time would be different, but the similarities from the times we are together shunt my mind each time I take a moment to think about what we're doing. I have been here before, and last time trying what I'm trying broke me more than once over, you might think that my past is weighing on me right now, that I do this because I'm scared but maybe I'm not, but maybe I am and I'm okay with that, its okay I think to be afraid of repeating the same mistake, especially if the first ended you barely survived it.

I would like to think that this is me learning from a past mistake, and applying a lesson I learnt a short while ago.

I really wish I could wait for you, and still have you after the wait, but I don't think I will have all of you after this, in the way I'm willing to give all of me to you. I know myself pretty well and I know that I will never be satisfied with giving you only a part of me and/or only having a part of you.

I think the only thing that really matters now is the fact that you need time, time I cannot give you as long as I keep myself as open as I am to you right now. And because of this, I think we should be friends, the normal type. I will stop with my advances, I will stop holding you or touching you as I do, I will stop telling you I miss you and I will generally stop showing that I have feelings for you.

I'll treat you as a friend, the normal type i guess, the type I'm not falling for. I wish I could believe that losing this side our friendship will hurt you as much as it does me but, you don't belong to me as much as I belong to you.

The other stuff we spoke of we'll see later I guess, like the travelling and stuff, I wouldn't want to not be able to be your partner but the burden that comes with right now is far to heavy for me to bear. We'll see what we are when we have the time and resources to do those things but for now we'll probably both be busy with school stuff.

What I hope most is that, me saying all this and making this decision doesn't push you away if you were so close to giving yourself to me, but if that's the case I guess we all live with the decisions we make.

Whatever you do though I don't think you should go back to your past, I think you deserve more that what he did to you, I had hoped I'd have the opportunity to show you that.

I hope we can be friends though, and that this new distance I put between us wont turn us into full on strangers again, I've grown tired of that happening.

Anyways that's what I've been thinking, I might not have thought this yesterday and I might not think like this later today, but right now this is what I'm thinking and this is what I feel is right.

Your friend
CALM THOMAS
Ramblur Playfool Nov 2016
I grab it all in a moment,
Where I look at you,
When I actually see you,
All in a glance that I have stolen

This is your beauty

The pink of a wild rose,
moving in the spring breeze,
Petals dance with enticing,
a fragrance like innocence

These are your lips

The brown of falling autumn,
Within the different hues of fall,
brown fallen leaves travel earth,
brown that shifts in light or shadow

These are your eyes

The lightened beige of sand,
speaking of heat of summer,
Soft and warm sand meeting waves,
Footprints dancing in patches

This is your skin

But these are only the smaller things,
Those that everyone can gaze upon,
Those that don’t require much feeling,
Not the hidden deeper that only I own
Ramblur Playfool Nov 2016
I grab it all in a moment,
Where I look at you,
When I actually see you,
All in the glance that I have stolen

This is your beauty

This time I see you more clearly
Elation hidden behind your eyes
As you look at those you hold dearly
Past the face that never looks shy

This is your heart

This time I see the worry that’s a burden
skeletons make you feel threatened
the feelings that you think I've hidden
Insecurities keeping what is destined

This is your mind

This time I see the inner wild heart
Rigid are the rules you that follow
Desire for the corners of known chart
Forest paths and the river shallows

This is your soul

these are the deeper things,
Those that few can gaze upon,
Those that require all feeling,
the hidden deeper that I hope own
Ramblur Playfool Nov 2016
I grab it all in a moment,
Where I look at you,
When I actually see you,
All in the glance that I have stolen

This is your beauty

Now my emotions own me,
Heartbeat slowly quickens,
Warmth of hearth in winter,
Butterflies in spring's field

This is my heart

How can she see me as enough,
Beauty holds me unforgiving,
Gripping attention hard and rough,
Empty thoughts filled with longing

This is my mind

Dance with me one more moment,
My dried river runs once more,
My heart I thought was broken,
Your essence has invaded my core

This is my soul

These are the deeper things,
Those that few will ever know,
Those that require more than feeling,
The deeper that I have rarely shown
Ramblur Playfool Oct 2018
Compassionate  
Strong  
Capable
Mature
Humble
Genuine
Caring
Attentive
Free
Honorable
Emotive
Open
Handsome
Helpful

They use the words
To describe what they see
Not knowing
That these words
Wound me

Broken
Weak
Deceitful
Distant
Lost
Vengeful
Destructive
Depressed
Anxious
Nervous
Addictive
Lustful
Loud
Secretive
Manipulative

These are the words
They never use
To tell my tale
Not knowing
These words define me

I dine with angels and demons
See me, feel me, taste me, smell me, HEAR ME
Ramblur Playfool Mar 2016
I am storm rider
I am standing in the eye of a storm
It's gale winds tear apart my clothes
It's debris filled air clouds my sight
It's hollow sky whispers quiet words
It's slow advance follows my path?

I am storm rider?
My skin made of steel never falters?
Storm howls do not chafe even parts of me?
Floating rocks break when the touch me?
Fast winds cannot uproot my heavy trunk?

I am storm rider?
The storm around makes me lonely?
It tears apart those who reach to save me?
It tears apart those who wish to love me?
It tears them raw leaving nothing but bone?

I am storm rider?
So long i have lived in this solitude?
I cannot reach out and attempt life?
They cannot survive the storm around me?
The storm birthing from my own heart?

I am storm rider,
I am storms source?
I am home wrecker, life taker?
I am ground shaker, forest burner?
I am snow pawed solitary hunter,
Born and bred to be a loner
Would you look for me, even when I am not lost?
Ramblur Playfool Nov 2016
and he wept,
for he remembered it vividly,
he had held his chin up with his left hand,
while he knelt,
he had casually placed the knife upon his tender throat and slid it to the side exposing crimson,
while he wept for the crime he was committing,
for the death of a close friend.
He did not expect him to come again another day,
with a white scarred throat,
embrace him and call him brother,
and tell him that he was missed.
So he wept without control,
with gasps in between and a silent trauma for only now he could become whole
Ramblur Playfool May 2016
Blood,
Love,
Nature.

Art,
Design,
Painter.

Heart,
Mind,
Figure.­

Dreams,
Struggle,
Stranger.
Maybe that's all that matters
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2018
A month ago,
I met a man without a home,
I bought him breakfast,
We sat together and spoke.

I asked this man,
What is love?

He told me,
Love doesn't exist in this world,
if it did I wouldn’t feel so alone.

A week ago,
I met a man without a home,
I bought him lunch,
We sat together and spoke.

I asked this man,
What is love?

He told me,
Love is deep understanding,
between strangers, between friends.

A day ago,
I met a man without a home,
I bought him supper,
We sat together and spoke

I asked this man,
What is love?

He told me,
Love is what binds us to the people we care about,
Sometimes it needs no words.

An hour ago
I thought about these men
Whom I shared a meal with,
While we sat together and spoke

I asked myself
What is love?

What I'd like to believe,
Is that,

Love is a gift that lasts for an eternity,
One carried in heart and memory.
Ramblur Playfool Sep 2016
I cannot stop this feeling that I broke something I shouldn’t have,
I felt like even now we could've worked as we are,
Maybe I'm naïve and greedy, I think I should let this go,
But what after, again back to the search, ****
I don’t want to, its painful to even image actually,

But you are not mine, I am not what you need,
I am a fleeting moment to you, a lesson to be learned,
Forgive me for today, I had not expected to find myself here,
Sometimes you get into a rhythm when you do something,
And you get so used to it, losing it surprises you,

What I am terrified of kait, is the fact that,
There is something, I am fond of you,
Beyond the posturing and desire,
I want you in a more sensual manner,
But it is not my place to ask that of you,

I am writing this because I am a writer,
Emotive speech is the one thing I'm not good at,
I don't want to be a distraction from what you need to do,
I don't want to be just a fix either though,

I've lost and gained something,
I don't know what it is yet,
Maybe I'm still too young of heart and mind,
I am actually far from the wolf I look to be

I'm still a wolf pup, I am learning the hunt,
You simply caught me of guard,
I hadn't expected this to be anything but temporary
That is the truth

It's amazing though, as I type this I feel more resigned,
I understand why it must end now,
My actions today were just a catalyst,
That is the truth

It would've just been a one more time thing,
Constantly trying edging towards exposure,
It's better if it ends before we're found out
That is the truth

Thank you though,
For taking this risk with me,
I truly needed to be reminded that there is more,
More to everything than just desire,
I hope we can be friends,
Maybe I think it's because we both seem to be fragile,
Yet as hard and strong as steel too
I wish i could've been more than a moment for you ey
But hey **** happens,
Lol that is the truth
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2018
Really? What about the fact that cannot *** while ******* unless I'm looking at your pictures thinking of ******* you.

I think I've earned that right

After all it's not that you cannot have all of me, it's that you refuse to give me all of you.

I cannot live off just half of you, so I dream of at least having all of someone else.

Do you understand?

No you don't.

You give me a bit of you, and even that bit of you is a piece of that piece because  I have to steal you.

I cannot hear your moans when they come out full force

I cannot ******* as I want as we aren't where it allows

I cannot wake up and sleep to ******* you

I say I want you, but do you understand?

You speak of the fear of losing me, of indecision

If I were open my heart to your senses

You would see a clash of fire and ice

Of land and air

Of death and life

Of my love for you, for myself, for the whole warring endlessly trying to consume one another

I want to devour your every essence like the oxygen that courses through every fiber , and I want it endlessly.

I don't want people to look at us as we look at each other and say they want to ****

I want them to movie of any chance of obstructing that view, I want them to be completely stunned and afraid and tense with their hair standing because the look between us is felt like am physical thing. Like a fire that will burn all that's in between and all that disturbs it.

I WANT YOU

And even that is a raindrop in an ocean, you would gasp, weep, scream, whimper, be quieted, be burned, moved, stunned, be completely and utterly awe struck by even a few seconds of feeling what I feel for you through me as i look at you.

You are surprised that I would drama of others like my mind would even be slightly capable of creating a scene that could contain how much I want you

My desire, live, and yearning for is a mess that churns and burns, crashes and tears, cuts and corroded all in every second I let it free

Yet you think you've even seen a part of it

Like me showing you would end in anything but pain for me, for as long as I deny it, it will not breathe and live

You think I simply want you

When I WANT YOU

Women I would *******, till you pass out,  I would *** for you and make me *** for you till we lose weight from malnutrition as every ounce of energy goes to every moment we touch skin in an unending cycle of us trying new things perfecting old ones, transforming every encounter into something that makes us both tremble

I would have you and the world would weep in its understanding that what we are is something that has never and can never be again

Still you think I want you

I don't want you

I never have

I have suffered something far worse than that for every moment since you let me kiss your lips, squeeze your **** , spank you ***, and ****** myself into the deep parts of you.

I have loved you, truly.
Ramblur Playfool Mar 2016
I will never understand what happened
You had her innocent heart, a white dove
You demons couldn't starve her love
Even now i don't think it has dampened?

I will never understand what you did
She gave herself to you, she gave her time
Her soul without yours couldn't abide
But you left for fool dreams laying ahead?

I will never understand why you lost it?
She is made of stars and tamed beasts
If I were to dust her heart for fingerprints,
I'm sure the only ones there will be yours
Even amongst her gardens and wild things,?
Even past parts locked behind closed doors??

I will never understand why you left her?
Thank you, for leaving without a care?
For unlike you I will learn to love her?
And love the parts hidden behind love's stare
Ramblur Playfool Jan 2021
The lovers find the loveless
The weak seen as worthless

The summer days cloudless
The winter night sky starless

The bitter man lies hopeless
The dreams he had now weightless

The ones we watch are truthless
The ones we need are voiceless

The days we live are changeless
The pain we bear now timeless

The mothers voice now hopeless
The baby born in stillness

The children lost in bleakness
The world is blank when screen less

The world run by business
The trial to rise seen sinless

The price of truth is beatless
The state of man now heartless

The eyes of man are sight less
The view of world now formless

The shape of music sound less
The heart that listens now beatless
Ramblur Playfool Oct 2018
I want the fire, a love that is new, warm.
One that is a source of positivity and contentment.

I want the water, a love that is sustaining through the tough times.
One that also cleans my soul

I want the wind, a love that is free, natural, that is wild, and open.
One that is ever-changing in its form but not its soul.

I want the earth, a love, that never falters.
One that is as strong as steel and as giving as fertilized soil.

I want the spirit, a love that is a journey.
One that leads to the opening and knowledge of both myself and another to the point that I can truly appreciate both.

I want, and sometimes, I need.
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2016
It begins
Beat slowing pacing up
Fire slowly heating up
Wind slowing howling louder
Water flow moving faster

It begins
Its the fire that burns nations
When reason is lost to passion
It's the quake that breaks buildings
When the love shows it's beginnings

It begins
Its slowly filling up dry soil
Bringing water to a hot boil
Its slowly lighting cast tinder
Knowing well it will cast all things asunder

It begins
It begins as a slow glow
It begins as a small steams flow
It begins as slowly warming coal
It begins as the calling of a soul

It begins and I do not fight it
Because I want eternity from it
Man
Ramblur Playfool Oct 2018
Man
I'll break the glass that screens the truth that even men can have dreams of love

See I have been asked many times to wax poetic by women looking for intimacy

So I did
So I will

I will paint that picture

I can imagine it all within quiet moments

Like every woman who spends days and nights posting pieces written of toes in sand and books read to them by candle lit bathing

I lay down with my chest on the floor a book in front of me hands outstretched and you'll be laying on my back with yours  against mine reading your own

You will hum some unnamed melody with your hair spilling over my neck and your one foot over the other swaying balanced on the back of mine

There will be a breeze coming through the window of the lounge causing a harmony if little sounds played by wind chimes unfinished books paging and cloth moving against cloth

The sun would shine through casting rays on the pallet furniture we both made piece by piece and the cloths and rugs each made stitch by stitch reflecting autumn colours against exposed brick walls

I crave this peaceful intimacy

This piece of contentedness part of a greater tapestry of beautiful moments is a glimmer of that which every man wants but can never show as this would be perceived as weakness

Cooking together in the kitchen, walking at the beach at midnight, picnic in park, writing songs, walking through the woods

I want it all, love and all
I want it all, *** and all

I want that which will move my heart
I want that which will shake my soul

But I can't tell anyone at all
Ramblur Playfool Oct 2018
I may be imperfect,
But I am still a vessel,
Of a strength you cannot measure.

I may be lost,
But I still walk a path,
Each furtive step taking me further.

I may be hesitant,
But each challenge I take,
Will grow me and make me greater.

I may be one man,
Each breath and word singular,
But still you will not break me.
Ramblur Playfool Oct 2018
.
Words.

One word,
Two words,
Many words.

Soft words,
Harsh words,
No words.

Words,
Worded,
Wordless.

Too many words,
Not enough words?

How many letters,
Will make a word?
How many words,
Can make words worthless?

Word.
Words.
Wording.

Meandering word.
Ramblur Playfool Jan 2021
It began as lust,
In a desire to mark you,
With every bite and ******,
And leave you with shades of blue

Then it began to change,
Where kisses slowed,
my heart uncaged,
A red ribbon between us flowed

It became love,
To stop the time,
Sating heart that's starved,
And call each other mine

Now my heart is yours,
Our bodies dance,
Opened all doors,
And together we advance

For my heart is owned by you,
The arrow of my heart aimed true
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2016
So I woke up just past midnight and you were there looking straight at me. Well you were sleeping bit you were in clear view of me and me you and for a minutes or seconds I stared. Even when you're fast asleep your pretty, it makes it so hard every time i sleep over. I can't find anything in your personality to convince myself not to like you, you tell me things about yourself that hit me hard and cause feelings that I am drowning to surface. Tonight you're in my dreams, one of which I woke up from with a start because it felt to much like what I wanted, I was with you yet without we were a thing and we were not. But what woke me up from it is for a moment in my dream I had you in my arms and at that moment we were about to put lips together and it was the precipice of something amazing. It scared me abit, cause I wanted it, not sure if I needed it, and when it was about to happen I was about to lose myself within it. You know I like you, but the more time we spend together the more i feel like I'm standing alone on a hill top and slowly but surely I'm sliding towards a valley that has you in it. I think I might be slowly falling in love. I am sorry if I show this to you, it will complicate alot, I am sorry that I am nit made of stone, I think it would of made things easier. I don't think I can sleep next to you again as a friend I don't think I can close my eyes and open them later still separated by the few inches between us that are starting to feel like a chasm. I think I might be insecure also, I feel like right now I am not the guy I might need to be for you, I'm not satisfied with where I am standing right now. I've got demons I need to face and a part of me wants to be saved from myself. I don't want us to change what we have right now but i feel like the way we are doing things right now will bring about change even if we don't want it. In truth i think desire leads my thoughts more than the rest, its my baser instincts that speak loudly causing me to paint this midnight portrait even in my dreams. I am afraid of you, I have a tendency if falling for the right girl at the wrong time and once I fall I fall hard, if I  am falling for you at one point we won't be able to stay as friends
Part of my letters collection
Ramblur Playfool Apr 2016
The Foggy Man

Some days I wake up and see a man covered in fog, like I have lived my life searching for myself and still there are parts of myself I cannot find. Some days I wake up and see that there are dark parts in my soul that will swallow my heart if I'm pushed too far and I can no longer carry the expectations and hopes I have for myself. Some days I wake up and see that as the days go by the jigsaw puzzle that makes up my thoughts keeps getting more pieces and becoming more complicated faster than I can pit the pieces together. Sometimes I see nothing but the foggy grey figure who has so many talents and gifts he cannot decide which are defines him and that foggy reflection there lies not a man but a boy that is scared wit less by his own potential.??

The Broken Man??

Other days I see what I think is the present me through a broken mirror with missing parts. Where the point of impact where the chasm that separates his heart begin comes from a lifetime of blows from women he has loved and beloved to be his fated one, his other half and all they left him with is the dry blood on his lips and deep feelings of betrayal. Feelings stemming from the remembrance that they broke him and still had the indecency to steal from him the special parts of him that made him whole. Sometimes I see my face in those broken pieces and wonder will I ever be able to put myself together again and find what I've lost.??

The Made Man??

Most days when I awake to my reflection, I see not the past nor the present. I see a man taller than me, stronger than me and smarter than me. Who's body is covered by scars from old battle wounds taken in his stride of which now paint an amazing tale of survival and love. A man who's full smile breaths life into my dreams and happiness into my heart  one who has tamed the beast we call life and influenced the lives of millions. These days when I see that reflection I smile at him, and thank him for showing me the person I want to become because sometimes I wonder if I'm already him.
Ramblur Playfool Jan 2021
Are you waiting for me to reach for you again?
To cross this void and chase your image?
Shall I bear the winter storm and arrive at your cottage door?
Should I seek the warmth within?
Why should I bare the pain of your fear for love?

You are not the only one lost
You are not the only one broken
We all carry the pieces of broken hearts
We all carry hearts full of scars

Will you judge the quantity of my love?
By my willingness to destroy myself for you?

I'm sorry for you are worse than mistaken

I carry the love of my family
I carry the love hidden in memory
I carry the love of water, sky and greenery
I carry a love for all things lying in this infinity

My love is not worth less than yours
My heart is not meant to be your float
My mind is not captured by only you
My soul has more to give than your truth

Find your happiness and your strength
Find your purpose and your path
Find your peace and your passion
Find your silence and your safety

I am still trying to save myself
Love, I cannot save you too
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