Clinging to a rosary,
    I am but a devout fool.
idolizing a false pretense,
    for alone in the world. . .
I cling to false prophets in hopes,
   of knowing a feeling like the one between you and me.

Alone in this world,
I am a fool,
devout,
in love,
alone. . . .

Alone

Pop. . . a pill falls to the floor,
Buspirone. . . what a funny name.
Ardent images burn into flesh,
    love;
long lost.
    feelings;
of dread and a monster on the back.

Doctor says accept be inure of this life.
   but,
strangers do not fill the void,
passionless nights provide pleasure not comfort.
    let me dream;
       of my love in a constant state of Euphoria.
wallow;
   in my own delusion.
touch;
  on my skin
kiss;
  on my lips

I don't want to live another day,
so let me live in mental solitude
    clinging to a delusional love
       of false epiphanies.

-Epiphanies

Just know when you are lost
   and have nowhere to go;
       when you whisper,
and not even the echo rings.
      you will feel my love;
  feel my skin, feel my touch.
        and hear back;
   I'm here.

-Here

Plethora of eyes
  may this moment be sempiternal.
am I finally the jewel in the harem,
  I always find excuses for the inexcusable
  I always see the best in the worst
  I always drop the world for you only to be told "busy"
The eyes are always murmuring
  always clamoring
     always surround you
I want to yell,
but I am stuck in this never ending imbrication
slowly,
the good heart gives up,
the excuses dry up
you become the worst

sunny skies turn grey,
my sunshine no longer radiates.
and the evocative message sent finally hits.

-Good-

I ripped pages out of our book
while you ripped clothes off of someone else

Let me tell you
   About a little boy
      who played house. .
         baked cookies
           dreamed of a family
              while wearing a dress. . .
Let me tell you
      About a little boy
         who ran
           from a group of boys
             blood splatted clothes
               while wearing a dress. . .
Let me tell you
         about a little boy
           who at 5
             said " I don't want to live anymore"
                holding himself at night
                  while wearing a dress. . .

This world is cruel,
   we crave love,
      we crave compassion
         only to find indifference.

That little boy was me.