Obscene ugly bird,
Thunderous scream, what rare song
Un-cage and be free

*Being different is freedom

Evanescent dreams,
   I am deaths epitome,
      lost my lover at 16,
         lost my friend at 23,
           then I lost my dog when do I feel lassitude.
why punish me with a plethora of death?
Such a resonant song,
susurrus voices
say " leap from zenith"
into true tranquility.

Falling apart,
  crack
      crack
         crack
           do you hear my heart. .
Hugging myself
        breathe
           breathe
              breathe
            please help me breathe.
Lay in the tub
          come up
             come up
               come up
            It's your voice I hear. .

Please let me flow towards the sun,
  let me drift towards you.
     let us meet once more, in another life.
          please help me. . .

I'm sorry,
   to everyone I ever loved.
     I am sorry to my mother,
        sorry to my father,
           sorry to my lover as he gazed down in regret.
               I don't know why. .
                    I honestly try,
                          I tell myself
                             STOP
                              STOP
                              STOP
                                 I'm sorry
                                    I remember the pumps
                                      The "Hold on"
                                         I'm sorry I want to see him once more. .
                                              I remember the lights
                                                 the cold white walls
                                                   under fluorescent light.
                                                       I will get help. .

But
I'm sorry I just want to see him again. .

-Relapse-

We live in endless dread,
    we are born to love. .
Under a burden of societal views,
and fear of solitude.
   Told,
we are incomplete alone.

Flawed,
   burdened,
      built to sadly love.

-Alone-

Cool desert breeze
   under the peach tree
      you told me you loved me . . .
         flowers bloomed, it was cliche. .
and just like the movies. . .
it came to an end. .
you were strong I was weak. .

you found him,
   and that was goodbye

I dreamed
   of changing the world
        I was wise.
           I wanted to change.
              To grow.
                 To Educate.
But. . .
then I found love. . .

-goodbye dreams-