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 Apr 2013 A O'Dea
John Updike
She must have been kicked unseen or brushed by a car.
Too young to know much, she was beginning to learn
To use the newspapers spread on the kitchen floor
And to win, wetting there, the words, "Good dog! Good dog!"

We thought her shy malaise was a shot reaction.
The autopsy disclosed a rupture in her liver.
As we teased her with play, blood was filling her skin
And her heart was learning to lie down forever.

Monday morning, as the children were noisily fed
And sent to school, she crawled beneath the youngest's bed.
We found her twisted and limp but still alive.
In the car to the vet's, on my lap, she tried

To bite my hand and died. I stroked her warm fur
And my wife called in a voice imperious with tears.
Though surrounded by love that would have upheld her,
Nevertheless she sank and, stiffening, disappeared.

Back home, we found that in the night her frame,
Drawing near to dissolution, had endured the shame
Of diarrhoea and had dragged across the floor
To a newspaper carelessly left there.  Good dog.
 Apr 2013 A O'Dea
Caytlin Rae
Have a seat, sit down and talk to me.
I’m a closed book of secrets, you see.
I’ll promise you now that I won’t tell a soul.
Because I’ll do anything to make a life whole.
Know you can trust me because I’ve been in your shoes.
Swimming at the bottom with nothing to lose.
It’s worth a shot if I can save you from destroying  yourself
If I can somehow demonstrate your value, your wealth…
I know how it feels to hate the skin that you’re in.
To not know where you are and forget where you’ve been.
I understand the pain of looking in a mirror,
And seeing a blurred image although completely clear.
I’ve walked down the path where I lost myself.
I’ve been at that point where I don’t care about my health.
In front of my eyes I’ve watched a love die,
Felt all the hurt of my strong mother’s cry.
Been separated from family and came back home,
Unanchored and drowning when allowed to roam.
Experienced first love and letting it slip away
Never spilling the words that I was dying to say.
Been used like a play thing and left here to die
Picking my pride back up and hanging myself up to dry.
Lost good friends that I will never get back,
But forming new friendships that will forever last.
Losing my faith in God and even in air,
Finding my way back through the power of prayer.
I am here for you and I’m here for anyone
Who on a bright summer day cannot find the sun.
If you feel like the sum of your parts is worth nothing,
Come have a talk with me so I can tell you something.
You are worth more than the weapons in your hands,
So if not for yourself, who will ever take a stand?
Your body is the greatest gift you will ever obtain
So treat it with care and forget about the pain.
And if after all this you are still holding the knife,
Talk to me so I can remind the beauty of this crazy life.
 Apr 2013 A O'Dea
John
I'll stand by you
Through hell storm
And through Heaven's Gates
Let you know
I love you
And hold you close
As long you allow me
And let me rest easy
Knowing my heart has a safe place
I'm just one more thing
Hanging over your head
But I'm the one falling
From a tiny thread
Liar liar liar
Give it a rest
Someday you'll see
That I am best
You say you're broken
But I'm the one hurting
You whisper the words
That are so reassuring
I've given you all of me
There's nothing left to show
You win I surrender
And I'm afraid I must go
This battle was fought
Long hard and strong
But you're right, I'm defeated
Which one of us was wrong?
 Apr 2013 A O'Dea
Infamous one
I think about how km going to die I'm thinking heart attack I have a hard time expressing myself. I feel the anger and rage implode within. I think about what I want to say but when it comes into putting the plan to explode.
I feel the power drain and shutdown I end up mad at myself it sounds awesome in my head but when it comes to speaking it I lose my train of thought or say stuff I never thought of saying.
 Apr 2013 A O'Dea
Hermann Hesse
How heavy the days are.
There's not a fire that can warm me,
Not a sun to laugh with me,
Everything bare,
Everything cold and merciless,
And even the beloved, clear
Stars look desolately down,
Since I learned in my heart that
Love can die.
 Apr 2013 A O'Dea
Abraham Lincoln
Here, where the lonely hooting owl
Sends forth his midnight moans,
Fierce wolves shall o’er my carcase growl,
Or buzzards pick my bones.
No fellow-man shall learn my fate,
Or where my ashes lie;
Unless by beasts drawn round their bait,
Or by the ravens’ cry.
Yes! I’ve resolved the deed to do,
And this the place to do it:
This heart I’ll rush a dagger through,
Though I in hell should rue it!
Hell! What is hell to one like me
Who pleasures never know;
By friends consigned to misery,
By hope deserted too?
To ease me of this power to think,
That through my ***** raves,
I’ll headlong leap from hell’s high brink,
And wallow in its waves.
Though devils yell, and burning chains
May waken long regret;
Their frightful screams, and piercing pains,
Will help me to forget.
Yes! I’m prepared, through endless night,
To take that fiery berth!
Think not with tales of hell to fright
Me, who am ****’d on earth!
Sweet steel! come forth from our your sheath,
And glist’ning, speak your powers;
Rip up the organs of my breath,
And draw my blood in showers!
I strike! It quivers in that heart
Which drives me to this end;
I draw and kiss the ****** dart,
My last—my only friend!
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