I'm so sick of being
Little
      Tiny
            Accused of not understanding

Told that I will understand as I get older
As I grow

  It makes me want to take the advice you gave me and use it
To make my table even.

Maybe burn it in the fireplace for warmth or laugh at it when I'm down to make myself feel better.

Give it to my dog to chase or shove it in the attic with all the useless things I own

Because I have told you so many times before I will not shut myself off the way you do and become numb to everything I think will drag me under.

I'm going to stand over it with my foot against it's throat and tell it to *******, whether it's my fears or my anxiety or my doubts  I'm going to chase it with a match and burn it alive or put a bag over it's head until it stops telling me what the **** I'm going to do.

I would **** the night to get to day as the stars looked the other way

I'd rip the warmth from my stomach and hold the sun by her hair to show her what I've been missing

Can you get addicted to sunshine, if only I knew what I'd gotten myself into

The skies cry every day I pine for the sun to stay

I'm so sick of being so lonely I'd burn up to be next to you

What if the life
Inside of me
Grew to be her own person?

She took my spirit and
Became the fire I kept
Behind the hearth
Of my heart to keep me warm.

I guess I
Just care too much
That's my problem

Manhood stood
In the shoes of a man
Who loved me when you didn't have the courage to.

When he swallowed glue and patched up the cracks in the dam that held my
Tears back when you let the rivers flow.

Feelings don't drown easy for foreigners, he knows that. Being an immigrant to being a father you should have understood that when you stole the love I had for you and left.

He paid for my sadness and didn't even flinch when I mentioned the taxes on me, all the baggage I had to bring. He paid off the debt you left to me and put the extra carry ons in the closet.

The title belongs to the man who didn't have to ask for it. Who didn't beg me for forgiveness but made up for it by not betraying my loyalty.

King is the man who loves everything he was given and soldier is the man who defends it. Father is the man who was proud enough that when I fell kneeled next to me.

Manhood stood in the shoes of a man who earned the love of someone who doesn't easily give it.

Come with me
To the place where
Our hearts can beat
Like wind chimes
And forever
Ring out,
Calling to something greater.

Kiss me like gunpowder
And hold me like a trigger,
you pull regret from
My tongue and smooth defiance
Down my spine.

I wish to be the
Very thing that you crave
To pierce your chest, to be
The strength of will
You need to fight your sleep.

To be the warmth
Of friction after you ask
God for his forgiveness..
To be weapon and woman

She knows
You are controlling.
You only get
What she allows
you to have.

I need to laugh
and feel
My shoulders rise
from how they've
been held down

It feels
Like a weight
That sits on your
Chest and slowly
Weighs you down until
You feel like you're used to
The weight. Then when you're
Ready to go on, you step into the
Water and it brings you deeper into yourself.

How do you hold
Yourself together
When the distance
Is growing,
When the quilt is being ripped
To cotton and thread
And your tears spill as you have begged them not to.

How do you pick yourself up
When the anger you feel
Threatens to unseam you and
Everything you love falls to
The floor and shatters like
The last glass plate in the cabinet?

Please tell me how you stay true
To yourself while becoming a woman, and wanting to be unselfish while still staying loyal to the promise you made to always say how you truly felt.

I need answers on how to grow and still grow together

Lately I have been
Feeling my fire dwindle,
Making life all the more beautiful to me.

Like I have been anticipating this, waiting on the edge of my seat in gold for my chest
To no longer rise.

Just today the sun bathed me in such a light I'd never seen, it had made me smile in a way I'd never have before and before I turned away, I told my friends goodbye and held my hands out to them.

I'd been seeking for some kind of peace and feeling this warmth take me over made me realize that there is something waiting for me

Just as I am waiting for it.