Stop shaking*
Stop Shaking!
I have my head under the sleeping bag
And an unkown feeling in my heart
Something i'm too scared to say
Hanging on to your every word
I'm so scared
Scared of myself
And how I feel for you
Maybe if I could just stop shaking
I could think straight

It's you that I cannot deal with
You, with your simplistic complicated ways
You, who I could never get a hold of
Who just floated away
You are irritating, you know that?
For someone who is here
You are quite unreachable
Always somewhere else
Thinking of someone else
Never me
Always something else
Looking towards the future
I would go up to you
Go up to you and tell you that when I said "Happy Birthday"
It made my heart melt
I would ask you to save me from the hell of loving you
With no hope of getting out or knowing how you feel
But I don't think you can save yourself
From your own hell
Do you know that I love you?
That when he said to you that I am your ex-girlfriend in front of me
I could barely breathe or speak
And you just replied
"Yes, I know, she is still a really nice girl though"
I almost cried
Yeah, I'm just some nice girl who cares about you more than you know
I can't stop searching and looking for you
Looking for you to look for me
I have never known how to love
someone until now
Loving someone means going through this
Being quiet and caring for them in what ever way they need
Standing as far away from them as possible
Even though it's not what you want
It is the still of the silence that you sit in and wonder about them
About the curvatures of their face or what they said the other day
It is not knowing what will happen, but still holding on to something
Loving someone is grueling, it's terrible, excruciating.
Having feelings for someone, wondering if they are reciprocated
But loving someone also means understanding if they don't feel the same

I hate the chase, the drawn out chase
I can't make decisions
I can't hurt people, I physically can't
It hurts me too much
Don't put me in a complicated sitaution
I'm afraid I'll only run away
I am indecisive
I always question myself
Second guessing and ovethinking are my drugs
And I am the enabler
I let myself do it
Slipping into a fantasy, I lose sight of reality and I'm stuck
Stuck in limbo land with myself
Thinking things that aren't true
Things I wished were true
And all I need to get out is to let go
But the high is intoxicating
Blinding, even, so here I stay

I can feel myself slipping back inside where I was
It's a twisted game, to love and be loved
And normally the one who cares less
Is the victor
But I can't help but go back
To look back and think
To feel the same again
But you cut it short
You brought me back to reality
Even though you told me
You were stuck as well
Now I know why I can't believe your love
I can't feel it
You don't talk to me like you do
It hurts when you say goodbye
Like words could separate feelings
And if you are reading this, if you even want to hear how I feel
It hurts

Float away
Far, far away
On some cloud going to the middle of nowhere
Go attached to a bunch of balloons
Of different colors and materials
Or on a carrier pigeon
With a small note on its left foot
The method of transportation is of no importance to me
Just be gone
I'm sorry that I was intrigued
When you told me you loved me
It was my mistake
I just wanted to feel something
That I felt a while ago
The way you talked to me at night
Made me think it was somewhat real
Now all I want to do is forget
But that's what you told me to do anyway
Forget you
                  Forget us
                                   Forget feelings
If that is what you want, I'll forget you
No.
I want to do what I want
I want to forget
Therefore, I'll forget

Delusion
Confusion
Deception
Refusion
Hopeless
Intrusion
I am
So
**Lost

Those who are conceited are like the foamy starch  in a *** of pasta
That rises and billows so proud in its manner, falling over the sides of the pan
But little do they know that they are nothing special later on
They just end up being some disgusting crusty mass that no one wants to find in their gnocchi

You should have known
From a long time ago
That the seeds that you plant
Are the seeds that you sow

So be careful what you do
And be careful what you say
Because that hurt you deliver
Will turn back your way

You'll find the broken ones
Have found their way back
And you are where they were
Starting to crack

I feel badly knowing you're hurt
Honest, I do
I know that some things can't be helped
Life's not always easy to do

But when I look back
And think about those times that I was there
Alone and hurting
Without you seeming to give me a care

I realize that I can't do anything
And neither can you
So you might as well sit back
And enjoy the view

I feel like some toy
Just a rag doll you play with
Tug at my yarn hair