For you
I would steal the moon
I would bring you sunshine
I would take you to the end of a rainbow
For you
I smile
I laugh
I care
For you
I would hug till midnight
I would kiss till our mouths were dry
I would hold near till it was time to go
For you
I want to make you happy
For you
I would do anything

hello
you funny
pretty
poet
hello
you stylish
caring
poet
hello
you
will you be my poet?

the rock
so tough and strong
the baby bird
so weak and helpless
with one push
the rock is rolling
rolling
rolling
the baby bird stuck
it hasn't learned to fly
the baby bird watching the rock
tumbling more and more
towards itself
it gives up trying to be free
the rock
still hurdling its way down
doesn't seem to be stopping
the baby bird lies down
closes its eyes
and doesn't wake
the rock skids to a stop
it was on its way to help ****
the approaching cat from behind
the rock wanted to help
but ended up doing the most damage

another day
another week
another month
another year
repeat
repeat for the many more to come
repeat
another
another
too tired
too tired to put much effort
too angry
too angry to put much effort
another year
with more to come

a ghostly truck wanders street to street
ringing the silent bell in your head
with no dream
no sense of wonder
but a feeling
the alarm goes off
no recollection of the mystical truck
but a feeling
no receipt
no notice
but a feeling
the day goes on
you holding the package you undesirably wanted
no way of returning
the sun falls
while the soft moon yawns its' way to play
the bed soft
the eyes close
a ghostly truck wanders street to street...

I want to bring happiness
to let the tears melt away
to deliver laughter
I want to shoo away anger
to make it boil to a gas
to reveal a smile
I want to hold you close
if that makes you happy
I want to hold you far
if that makes you happy
I want you to be happy
so let me distribute you happiness

ive done it again
i was doing so well
but why
is this the answer to a cheap happiness
im not smart enough to stop
im too cold to change
ive lost the will again
i dont want to restart
i feel to be a danger
i want to be a safety
unstable
and
uncontrollable
i see the faces
so scared
to see the face thats been hidden
by the breaking mask
the glue is nowhere to be found
the faces still scared
not knowing what to do
seeing the monster
the creature
the broken mask
the faces still scared
no means of peace
till the glue is found

a hug
so warm and loving
a laugh
so gorgeous
a feeling
so strong
that it's weak
a feeling
that needs to grow

giving
loving
smiles
laughs
hunger
eating
... too much
more sleep
yet so tired
gloomy days
yet happy feelings
missing the family
then shortly going insane from them all
all of this
comes from this holiday season

warm me up with your smile
make me shiver with your sigh
wrap me in your arms
unfold me in your eyes
let the seasons roll with us
stop all time for us to enjoy the peace
these are not commands
these are simply part of my wish list

not that i have you
or had you
or will ever have you
all i know is that i've thought of you

should i go first
or should i follow behind
i dont know what to do
i dont know what to think
the unknown is another stress
another game to win
another puzzle piece
another 'thing'
take control
dont wait
because im too lost
to know what to do

like a stone
hearts should be
like an open box
minds should be
like a thing unknown
our love is shared

when the moonlight shines
the darkness fights back
when the troubles fade
the sadness presses
when the love strengthens
the logic gives up
when the hate is no longer there
the love remains distant
when the time is short
the events keep piling
when you are gone
the moonlight, troubles, love, hate, and time miss you

the smile
the charm
the love
the care
no one can take it away
the hate
the anger
the loathe
the rage
only you can push it aside
the sadness
the loneliness
the hurt
the sorrow
we all feel it at some time
the feelings
the lessons
the light
the dark
everyone goes through their ****

distractions distractions
all around
keeping people safe and sound
distractions distractions
dont go away
or then we'll be left here all astray

chained down
nowhere to go
the dust gathering on my shoulders
while the skin dries more and more
the tears have been long gone
the darkness surrounds with its laugh
causing the worn down doll of my soul to jump
placed so high on the shelf of endings
that there is no point of fetching a ladder
the dust stirred with the wisp of a young love
the soul struggles to get out of it's bearing chains
the beautiful love fights off the darkness
the chains drop
the soul is free
the magnificent love is hand in hand with the soul
but wait
this story must not win right now
the love is put in the malicious grasp of darkness
scared
the love fights
but with one smack
the love falls
souls moan
cry
scream
darkness laughs
the original soul falls down to its knees
kisses the unbearably cute love
and as all the other souls break free of their chains to revolt
the original soul falls down to a deep sleep
of which to never return

the butterflies fluttering
around and around the anxious stomach
the rush of the wind flowing
through and through the tangled hair
the spinning thoughts
rolling and rolling within the disturbed mind
the nondrying sweat
dripping and dripping down the nervous body

When the memories come
i cant help but to smile
to laugh
to cry
to miss
to miss the moments of anger
of love
of fear
of desire
the desire of wanting you
wanting us

the time
the never ending time
the fights
the never ending fights
the memories
the never ending memories
the love
the never ending share of love
the hate
the new and never ending hate
the passion
the never ending yet wonderful passion
the end
the upcoming end
of all things we hold dear

i want to let it go
but it pulls me in
i want to say *******
but i would feel so bad
i want to forget
but i want to remember every detail
i want to go
but i want to stay
i want to feel
but i want to be numb
i want to help
i want to heal
i want to be free
i want to love

I want to be lost in my sheets.
To never go down stairs, to only hear the muffled noise of people, to not have to see the twisted love among each other.
I want to be lost in my sheets.
To only see the happy orange color, to close my eyes and know i’m protected, to not hurt as well as hurt others.
I want to be lost in my sheets
till the day i can’t control myself from closing my eyes and never have the possibility to gaze upon the happy orange color again.
I want to be lost in my sheets.

The more you hold on
the more it hurts
the more you let go
the more you may hurt others
stuck
the more time passes
the more time you have to forget
the more you forget
the more you want to remember
stuck
the more stuck you get
the more you feel like being free
the more free you desire
the more you let go
the more you forget
free
the more free
the more lost
stuck

I lost myself
but your hand came
and pulled me home
I lost you
but then I reached out my hand
and drew you near
I lost us
and no hand came
and we were both lost

is it fair
that i dont know
that im not sure
that i simply have no clue
is it fair
that its a long wait
that theres no end to be seen
that the timer seems endless
i know its not fair
that is why
i am sorry

unheard happiness
unwanted anger
underestimated intimidation
unloving lies
undermining images
unfaithful source
unalterable devastation

take what you want
you've earned it
anything you see
... that one?... ok, interesting choice. please be very careful with it.
no no please dont rip it apart
no please no dont smash it
please stop... that hurts
why would you fake all of this?
do you take pleasure in all of this?
gah! stop please it hurts.
i hope your happy with what you've done.

brass wires
folding and twisting
the body
becoming unknown
the patient smile gone
the truth gone
enemies becoming friends
with a blink of an eye
the giving is not wanted by the receiver
hands worn
sweat dried
the giving is not wanted

too much
fencing around my thoughts
i miss the knowing
of what i wanted
but my thoughts
are lost
held captive by some mysterious creature
i want to be comforted
in the pleasure of knowing
what i want
i cant make up my mind
cant settle down the
riled animals that have been living in my mind
i feel lost
i feel discomfort
i feel that i dont know what i want to feel

i feel close
but im afraid
i feel the want
but im afraid
i sense the change
but im so so
afraid
the time is near
and im ******* afraid

ive had my fit
now its time
to grow up
i need to feel sad
but i need to enjoy
what i have now
and what all ive learned

how can you do this
leave
the way you did
how can you do this
not say goodbye
and not show your care
how can you do this
your gone
and i ******* hate it

the ring of the bell
is a release so powerful
so pleasing
so meaningful
the end of the ding
insists in a sigh
a smile
a sudden relaxation
the ring of the bell
is the start of something strong
powerful
stressful
time consuming
the end of the ding
insists on a sigh
of starting over
the game
of stress

cant help but look back
on the innocence
i used to have
cant help but want
the unknowing
i now cherish
cant help but get mad
at the curiosity
i couldnt hold down
cant help but to know
what i know now
and what i wont forget

the darkness
coming into play
with the heart
thats been locked away
the brightness
fleeting back
with the feelings
starting to stack
the rainbows
goodbye and gone
with the want
coming to the dawn
the darkness
staying strong
cant last
for it doesn't belong

knowledge...
is it worth the pain
is it worth the time that is going to be wasted
on emotions that can wait
knowledge
it's a curse that sadly we all contain
I want to know
but i dont want to be haunted by the images
the physical pain
the emotional pain
the unknown crap fest that will come with knowledge
knowledge...
its a curse
that we all contain

the more im reminded
the more i go mad
the more im poked at
the more annoyed i get
the more im shown
the more i feel bad
the more im told
the more i want to leave
you keep reminding
you keep angering me
you keep wanting to poke
you keep reminding
reminding
reminding
you get satisfaction
for yourself
unaware of what your doing
to me
stop reminding
poking
telling
stop

wake up
rub the worn out eyes
get ready for the day
that seems exactly the same as the one before
come home
to the same old mess
enjoy the few laughs
enjoy the company
enjoy the love shared
then drift softly into your sleep

the farther you go away
the heavier i feel
the bricks on my back containing
my love
my anger
my feeling of great separation from you
I feel heavy with the weights of
missing you
needing you
the farther you go away
the more i want you
the more i miss you
the more i cry
you've gone too far
so i will always feel heavy
feel love
feel that i need you
and miss you
the weights will get heavier
as i get weaker
as i get older
as more time goes by pushing us farther away
the weights will be so heavy
so needy
so unloving

the touch
the smell
and all of the other senses
the smile
the laugh
and all the other beauties
the tears
the sobs
and all the other pain
your touch, smell, smile, laugh, tears, and sobs...
gone

Who are you
to say that I don’t have a heart
who are you
to think you’ve felt worse
who are you
to call me names
who are you
to tell me off
who are you
to get mad
who are you
oh that’s right
you were the one
who broke me down
who opened me up
who saw who I was
who kicked me to the side
who ignored me
who are you
to say we’re friends

one thing
deeper deeper

one thing on the mind
going deeper going deeper

one thing bugging your thoughts
deeper deeper

one thing constantly buzzing around unable to let go
going deeper going deeper

one thing grabbing your attention to fill your mind with thoughts you feel are unnecessary
deeper deeper

one thing
going deeper going deeper
until you've hit the end

blobs floating around everyday
******* the life out of
the laughs
the cries
the scares

the blobs being selfish
incapable of having these feeling
will take it away from what can

the people so helpless
they try to fight back
but our want for the feelings are wasted
we have plenty of them
with much more to spare

so let the blobs enjoy the
endless emptiness
and lets keep pretending
we have that too

its new
its fresh
             I love it
its nice
its there

its old
its surviving

its gone
its dead
             I don't miss it

you hurt me
yet i talked to you
as if we were friends

you hurt the one i love
yet i have no hurt
to bring to you

you hurt me
yet i want to know
if your okay

you hurt the one i love
yet i want to share
sympathy for you

you hurt a chunk of my life
yet i talked to you as if
it is all okay

rub the eyes
that have seen so much
clean the ears
that have heard so much
rinse the mouth
that has said so much
wash the face
that has shown so much
cleanse the hands
that have touched so much
you can scrub as much
and as long as you want
but you cant change what has been done

the morning breeze is like
a whisper
a tickle
a comfort
from your love
the afternoon blaze is like
a passion
a lust
a need
to see your love
the evening bliss is like
a warmth
a comfort
a sense of relaxation
in the arms of the one you absolutely adore

when someone you love
is gone
you want to say you still love them
but can you love someone
who isn't there
who you can't
talk to
hold onto
or rely on
not imaginary
just gone
can you love someone
who will never return

If you could
undo what is done
would you
what would change
what would stay
It may be for the better
all the things that have been done
for there is that saying
everything happens for a reason
but what if the reason isn’t worthy of what’s been done
what if whats been done wasn’t fair
wasn’t right
wasn’t meant to be
why can’t there just be a pause
for people to think things through
to realize there is something better
maybe that’s what we’re supposed to be doing now
but it’s so easy to blame others
so easy to make it someone else’s problem
so easy to not take control
but its time to grow up
not to forget
or to remember constantly
just to not confirm it
look down
be beside yourself
be unknown to how you feel
to face the fact that sometimes you shouldn’t know how you feel,
and that feeling in itself is how you should feel

I want you back
but your gone for good
I want to turn back time
but my watch is broken
and what would be the difference
I want the time to stop for a moment
but I would be too busy to notice
I want the memories to become real
but memories are just that
things that you look back on and not return to
I want you with me
but how would we be now
I want to know what happened
but you’re not here to tell the tale
I want you back
but your simply gone
and all I have now are the memories
I want all this
but its all too selfish