come on home
from that desert
you've been hiding in for so long
take my hand
i'll give your thirsty self water
and show you
that the world has much to offer
come on out
from that cave
you've been dying in for so long
hold on tight
i'll carry you out if you'd like
and remind you
of the light in life
come on
for i've missed you
grab my offer
i'll care for you
and let you know everyday
that i'll always love you

you exude grace
yet clumsiness
you make people laugh
yet you cry
you love others
yet hate yourself
you put a fake smile
yet you play happy so well

dont play games with me
i see what is wrong
just know i love you
and im here

you're like a dog
who just ate **** from a diaper
even with the chicken waiting in your bowl
you took what was closest
not willing to take a slight challenge
and too ignorant to see what the better option was

the patterns
the poems
all the same
nothing new
and all cliche
but in this repeated world of mine
i feel comfort
and ease
even with my drooped sad eyes
so the continued basics
of the mild poems
will be written
behind the same computer
and by the same eyes

your fluff
your crisp
the clinking in the bowl
colors blending
with the liquid mix
the silver saber
comes down upon thee
lifts the fluff
and crisp
away from the liquid mix
into the vessel of my cranium
seeping down the tunnel of darkness
into the pit of juices
and acids
to later excrete from the cave of wonders
and into another source of a liquid mix
and down yet another tunnel
into another universe
or dimension
of other wonders
what and adventure you've had
you no longer crisp or fluffy substance

winged companions
spread your wings
and fly to your freedom
i can only imagine your beauty

winged companions
feel that ease
and enjoy that release from insanity
i can only hope your happy

winged companions
take that step to your dreams
and enjoy that it is now your reality
i can only imagine the feeling

winged companions
nourish what you've become
and leave all regrets
i can only hope to see you someday

your grip of my mind
constricts my heart
to where i cant breathe
i feel faint
weak
as if death is near
your grip of my memories
pulls my heart
to where it barely pumps
i feel weird
out of it
as if im not here
you have way too much control
over my unstable heart
that seems to not be working
i feel death
darkness
as if im no more

the scars will last
but my care will not
your screams will be loud
but my ears will not hear
the memories will linger
but my pain will fade
your anger will build
but my apathy will remain

the link between us
was made so young
it grew so quickly
and bulked so strong
the link between us
was made so long
it grew us so near
and tied the knot so tight
the link between us
was rusting so fast
it stretched so far
and did not break so easily
the link between us
was broken to so many peices
it shattered so far apart
and was left to be so alone

That smile
only shown in pictures
to show to others that you're okay
though
we hug as you cry everyday
you don't have to pretend
you don't have to watch out for others
and how they may feel
That smile
is so fake right now
which makes it grotesque to me
it's not what you feel
it's what you want to feel
but plastering it on
won't make you feel any less pain
the pain and tears
will hide behind those pearly whites
waiting for you to be back in my arms
with a box of tissues
That smile
will be true one day
but for now
be honest to yourself
for how you feel
That smile
wow
That smile
i can't wait to see the real thing once again

the sun shining
the air so crisp
the birds chirping
the morning so young
yet
something is missing
no
someone is missing
it's you
oh how i wish
you were in my arms
watching this morning rise
in my arms
we would be together
gazing out the open windows
tickled by the slight breeze
and warmed by our bodies
oh how i wish
you were in my arms
watching the long to come sunset
watching the day flee past
while moving in slow motion
the breeze is spinning
the sky so dark
the lovers loving
the day so done

yep
you're on my mind
i think about you constantly
and you're not going anywhere
yep
you probably see it
and think im dumb
or inconsiderate
nope
i just think about you
and worry
and most of all
i miss you
please dont think im crazy
or rude
i just think about you
and will keep thinking about you

could you please
not give me a hand this time
i know it may be hard
but let me grow
let go of me
please
i need to make mistakes
yet you hold me close
you want whats best
to the extent
of driving ourselves mad
let go of me
please
and let me show you
that i
yes i
can take care of my wounded self

hello there
the little thought
that infiltrates my mind

no matter what time
what day
what event

you,
little thought,
will come into my mind

i don't always want you
but like the rascal you are
you dont care

sometimes ill get angry about your timing
but you stay
just to **** me off even more

little thought
please give me a break
i don't want you anymore

im older now
and think i can live without you
please leave

sincerely,
the one you've hurt
oh so many times

these feelings dont magically appear
as said in fairy tales
it takes time
and patience
now we have these feelings
and the wait is done
yet we're still flipping through old magazines
these feelings aren't leaving
like we want them to
they're lingering
and taunting
yet we're still waiting around
I don't want the feelings to leave
even though
they should
I want you to be okay
even though
you don't seem to be
these feelings are here
and we're still waiting
but i
will not wait
much longer

you may kick
or hit
but i will always use my words
you may give me looks
or threatening notes
but i will always smile
you may tease
or physically punish
but i will always calm you down
you may do all of things
or more
but i will stay happy
until i get home

Just give me one more second
with you
in our favorite spot
please
will you come back for just one more second
because you never let me say goodbye
i want that second to be filled
with you in my arms
looking up to me with those eyes
and the muttering words of
i love you
will you for the love of anything
give me one more second

fingers tapping on this worn out pad
dust collecting on the drooped shoulders
hair thinning on this skeleton shape of a head
eyes hollowing on the malnourished being
feet twitching on the cold wood floor
stomach growling on the count of boredom... not hunger
what have we become
monsters
zombies
un-known creatures
enslaved by this massive world
that fits in our hands

the twigs under my shoes
breaking
snapping
the sound i would love to hear
come out of your spine
the leaves crumble
and muffle
under my shoes
the sound i would love to hear
come out of your mouth
the rocks kicked
across the floor
the image i would love to see
with your spiraling head
the ants climbing up my shoes
as i would love to see
you grab me for last hope

you say you're awful
mean
nerdy
slutty
a *****

why would you bring yourself down?
why wouldn't you see the good?
why would you blind yourself
from who you really are?

what I see is a strong
fun
pretty
intellectual
caring
person

you're one of the rare ones,
please see that

don't look at me with sad eyes
at least not today
you've been bringing me down
more and more
but today
i want a break
you keep tearing me apart
with your sad tales
and sobbing tears
but today
please for me
be happy
for i want a break

our hands touch
and we're in another land
our lips kiss
and we're in a whole other universe

at least that's how i dream it would be

the wall is crumbling
the makeup is fading

they seem surprised
for they now see me undisguised

time will tell how they react
for the mask has cracked

gone for good
and now everyone should

see the hidden person
before they worsen

not much has been said
but we feel something
we know something is here
not much will happen
but we know it's a dream we share
we truly want
not much is going to proceed
but we feel the pain
we see the wasted time

maybe something will happen
but we won't know when
we shouldn't either

when things have its calm
silence
peace
happiness
don't move
don't breathe
don't blink
just freeze
and enjoy the little moment you may have
of this rare perfection

there's too many of you
little troubles
mishaps
pains
there's just too many
of you bouncing around
hurting a vast majority
of the ones i care for
i will fight you
little troubles
i will **** you
little troubles
stop hurting the ones i love
little troubles
there's too many of you
and you must be stopped
your end is near
little troubles
do your worst

we float by each other
every day
not giving one another a second glance
we just pass
and head to our destination
we're ghosts to each other
i only hope we collide one day
saying a hello
shyly waving a good bye
we're like ghosts
but one day we'll collide
and that will change everything

can you shut up for just a second
and listen
i want the very best for you
and well
im not it
your hurting everyday
as i try to help
but end up scraping at the fresh scabs
im sorry
oh how im sorry that i hurt you
im a giant beast
with little balance
or stability
and you
well your a fragile glass rose
I want you to shine your best
but keep scraping you
against my callused hands
please go shine
my fragile flower
and don't look back
on this giant beast

you care too much
about me
a person who doesn't want to hurt you
but seems to any way
i care so much for you
don't mistake me
but i hurt you
so step away
farther and farther
where you don't feel me any more
i'll miss you
but i don't want to see you hurt
just step away
so that you will be okay
i love you
i'll miss you
but please
step away

I miss
your smile
gaze
and laughter
your wits
sighs
and smell
I miss
the way we talked
held hands
simply the way we were
I don't miss
your pain
suffering
and agony
your sobs
tears
and the fatal grasp for hope that wasn't there
I miss
your happiness
and that is what I wish for you all

tell me everything
for i want to hear you
be completely silent
for i want to see you
laugh your loudest
for i think its cute
cry if your in pain
for ill be here for you
love who ever
for i know ill love you

so much pain in those words
too much pain
though i don't know you
i want you to be okay
the world can be cruel
torturous
and simply unfair
just know
there's a light side
to what feels to be an eternal darkness
you'll be okay
my new stranger
don't try to hide like me
live out
and enjoy
the light over the darkness

that heart of yours
that heart contains so much pain
pain from stuff you only know of
pain that needs to flee
flee from that heart
flee from those eyes
eyes flooded with tears
eyes hiding behind fear
fear of fading away
fear of no one caring
caring is all you do
caring is all i do for you
you need to calm down
you should trust me with your heart

go look in that mirror
that you hate for no reason
go gaze at that face
that exudes beauty
but sees dirt
that smiles
but tears stream down the face
go see in that mirror
the reason i wake up in the morning
go look
and please see
what beauty i have the luck to gaze upon
i hope you see
what i see
which is pureness
loveliness
gracefulness
purpose
go look in that mirror
that you now should love

complex questions
revolving around that head of yours
im here to answer
to comfort
to ease your flustered state
complex questions
so easy to answer
just ask
and i promise
to take away the frustration
just ask

can you hear the humming
the beating
the screaming
can you see the bruises
the cuts
the shame
can you see the dried tears
the fake smile
the mask
i hope you cant
you should be happy
and not brought down by me
i hope you cant
you've gone through enough
and you deserve more
i hope you cant
your too amazing
and i love to see you happy

i see whats happening in that young girls heart
pain and suffering
in that young girls heart
she cries herself to sleep at night
hoping each tear will wash the pain
instead it has rearranged
the feelings inside
so much happening in that young girls life
pain and suffering
in that young girls life
she wants to fly so far away
leaving the fear behind
the fear of losing her loved ones
the fear of breaking down
the fear of going too far
is in her heart
her heart is breaking
her heart refuses to heal
for it will only break again
for another pain
so much happening in that young girls dreams
flying away to a place so far away
leaving behind the ones she loves
leaving them without them feeling the pain
flying away
so far away
wanting to heal others pain
is in that young girls dreams

you've proven your point
now come back
you did this out of anger
sadness
unreasonableness
you've proven your point
which was an unfair point to make
now come back
i was beaten before
but dealt with it fairly
you've proven your point
that i'm not strong
now come back
how dare you prove that point
it was pure angst
and stupidity
i hate your reasoning
but you've proven your point
so im left here
without your comfort
or even your pain
im left here
from a girl
who has proven her ******* point

so much
in just 24 hours
so much
crap that just didn't need to happen
so much
of a ******* mess
so much
crying
so much
so so much
in 24 hours
so many
calls
so many
texts
so many
tears
so many
thoughts
so many
feelings
so many
so so many
things in 24 hours
too much
crap in this world
too much
of this old ****
too much
just way too much
i hate the past 24 hours

Dear friends,

Gone and present friends. Followers and leaders.
Lovers and haters.
My friends.
Some of you see through the rotted old mask
that i wear so proudly.
Some of you are blinded by the luminescent glow
of that rotted masks smile.
I love you all, my friends.
You are what make that mask fall to show the beast behind,
the tangled mess of a life.
My friends.
Nothing more can make me happy.
Nothing less could hold up the cost.
Dear friends, I thank you, and will forever thank you.
I love you all.

I want to see the eyes behind the mask
show the true being
behind that plastic molding
reveal your darkness
that lingers behind that smile
open the curtains to that deadly thing
that keeps you alive
open the face of what is true
what i want to see
is you

this world is not mine
or yours
we share this world
with many others
some are worth sharing
others
not so much
those who do not deserve
take more then needed
leaving the ones who has this deserving glory
to lay out with the trash
we share this world
with many others
and those who do not deserve to hold such greatness
should leave this world
leave
before they do more damage
to the ones who deserve our world

tip tap
you're tapping on the desk
in rhythm to an unknown song
snip snap
you open up in my hands
ready to be used
slish slash
you swing around
leaving a nasty mark
snip snap
you close in my hands
weird substance running down your side
tip tap
you beat on the desk
waiting for the possible snip snap

you promised another smile
giggle
hug
oh how i wanted that hug
how i will forever want that hug
you promised happiness
something you couldn't magically make happen
i promised you support
did i do okay?
i guess not
i hope your smiling
and giggling
and hugging
in a place that makes you happy

eyes strained
never looking away from screen
waiting for a response
that tiny little screen
giving me nothing
but impatience
the response takes its time
as my fingers start to tap
the screen still dark
as my eyes start to close
the screen still dark
as i wait for the response
nothing coming
i want
no
need to know
but the screen is still dark
as i drift to sleep
dreaming
of the response

souls rising day and night
but yours must stay
yours must never let go
hold on my angel
i'll reach for you
reach until my arms fall off
then i will join you
souls rising day and night
please hold on
squeeze till you can't anymore
don't give up my angel
i'll never let you go
you might as well stay
my sweet little angel

your smile fading
an effect added to this sad sad movie
the movie we're in
yes
of course
this is just an act
just an hour long act
we'll be done soon
you'll be able to get up from that bed
to jump around
and sing like you did last night
its only a movie we're in
make sure you know that
make sure you know
this is all an act
so wake up at the end of this hour
for it is only an act

the dark block rising from its sleep
resisting to break
climbing up my feet
almost like molasses
its creeping up my leg
to my thigh
to my belly
to my shoulders
i fight back
pushing down on the block
but its way too powerful
like a rude neighbor
inviting itself in for some tea
trying to explain the bad timing
will do nothing
for the block proceeds to climb
to my neck
tickling my spine
it wraps its dark slimy fingers around my neck
slowly it does
tightening
i see hope vanishing
as the tightening increases
increases
choking
darkness
i fight back
but i am tired
go ahead dark slime of a block
take my last breathe
hope has failed me