I wish I could stare in the mirror
Look back at that haunting reflections
The long, dark shadows, lying behind my eyes
I want to tell myself to live—
To finally learn how to smile, genuinely, for the first time in my life
But deep in my heart, I have always been a coward
And I could never forget you
So I hide away from the truth, sinking into oblivion
"Things will get better."
But that's just another lie, isn't it?

In a sea of faces, I'm just another one in the crowd
A number on the board, a pawn never worth your attention
I start seeing people seem so happy
Smiling with joy I've forgotten how to possess
And yet I linger like a ghost, staring into the fields
Watching the flower petals scatter into the wind
Memories of a past, lost forever
Wondering how I can ever learn to feel that way again
But my existence seems meaningless,
An easy way out gleams forward, lighting the path
A tightening around my cord, ticking seconds pass by
Counting down to the moment it ends
The sound they hitch and catch, lost in my throats
Words long pass the notion of death
I only wanted to be set free.
Final sailors wait at the station
Stone meets my sentiments, followed by the foggy after
A lone umbrella waits quietly in the rain
Ones trying to remember a soul already gone
Soon they become busy, far and few
The thought occurs to me, sudden and sharp
An unease fills the cavities in my chest
It creeps doubtfully, into the corner of my mind
Reminding me of that haunting statement, once I used think was true—
"I can't believe anyone would miss someone like me."

Thank you for making my last few moments worth living
A ray of hope in these troubled times
Although this might an experience
One I rather not repeat once again
I would do anything just to see you again
My final declaration of thanks
I love you so much it hurts.

I just can't bottle these feelings up anymore
I stare at the ceiling, picture the swing
The slow, gentle sway, and the thing that hangs hauntingly
A sight for sore eyes
But I wonder what will take me out next
My inevitable boredom, or the questioning of my existence
Then, I realise I don't care—
I just want it to happen soon.
Now, to repeat the same lie
Etching in my skin like routine,
A fond friend to this darkness
Dissolving deep within my bones,
This old yet familiar companion
Of words and falsehoods alike
"Sorry, I really am."
Followed by a quiet realisation
Comes that ****** question
The one I always hated to hear.
"Do you think anyone will miss me when I'm gone?"
Of course they will
Still, I'd rather they don't
I know in your arms, I am wanted
And yet, I already feel guilty enough
From stealing the air from your lungs
Glancing upon the smile on your lips
I never deserved a thing.
So please, don't think of me kindly
Just bid me a goodbye
That will be enough for this weary soul
Don't love me at all, let me rest in peace
I shall offer you one last comfort
As the world fades away,
And the months bleed out
Leaving a shadowy, crimson splash
Blooms across pale skin, lines across the road
I breathe my final words
"It wasn't your fault."
But who really believes that, right?

Say goodbye to someone
The person I used to be
With feelings I will miss dearly
Remaining stagnant, void of change
So many emotions running wild
Deep in my veins, they smile
Waiting for the day
I can go out with my sorrow
And bid that wretched thing
Finally, a blessed farewell—
Any day now, it'll be my time.

I don't know what to do
It's just a cycle, this misery
Hoping things get better, but they get worse
Without you, my life has no meaning
Lingering quietly, as I wait for the end,
I mourn my past feelings of happiness
I miss being younger, letting go of those carefree memories
I miss my friends, and how things used to be
I know some things can't stay the same forever,
But am I so wrong for wishing they would just remain as it is?
And for one day, I can convince myself with this foolish lie—
That everything will be okay again.

the erasure of a life i could have loved
but the most horrifying thing was never remembering
looking at things that arent quite right
smiling at people who arent quite there
questioning a scene that was never lived in
slow, drips of crimson seep through my skin
blooming across my chest, red angry streaks
a long ago, they meant something to me
but now, i dont know.
and i cant remember who
or what i was ever meant to be
now im stuck rotating, spinning around the clock
watching the hours tick by
forgetting, waiting for the inevitable end
looking for a memory of someone i used to see.

i might have skipped a few lines
sorry, maybe, i couldn't quite tell
can you really this living?
not knowing, not remembering
forgetting the place where you stand
im dancing along the edge
of a room i cannot cross
waltz across the cold, narrow distance
cutting these ties, fixing my knots
presenting a neat little bow
shipped to another, expelled wearily
while the tempo slows and closes
until there's nothing left but eternity
and everything meant something
to someone like you,
please just forget me.

in your eyes hides such a bittersweet sorrow
something far beyond my understanding
love lies steady, awaiting you tomorrow
a never-ending dream you cling onto
with simple words so endearing—
"i love you."

Even as the seconds passed on and time lost meaning…

Will you even remember me?
Will the sound of my name haunt you?
Those words I uttered in my final moments, as I bled out in your arms—I love you—do they mean anything now?
What did it mean, seeing the look on my face, as I begged you to tell me the truth?

Do you... regret what you’ve done?

August finally rolls around
A finality that echoes my heart-felt sentiments
I hope it meant something
Those tiny, little words
Those soft, aching lines
Those rainy, quiet days
When I told you I'm sorry
Repetitive are these words
The things I pen down, useless
Unfamiliarity strikes me center
Just like the days gone by
The memories lost to time
The people fading away into silhouettes
I've forgotten every moment of meaning
Every smile, every regret
It bleeds into one, singular line
Across my thoughts, buried in my wrist
Tangled in my chest, twisted deep in my heart
My mind still clicks, filled with a capability to contemplate
But it can't undo the pain, it overwhelms me completely
Then, a thought occurs to me
Omnipresent in every dream, a lingering sensation on my lips
How could I ever have called this place home?
The miserable suffering I endure
The wounds inflicted in my toiling
On this weary soul, wasn't it enough?
Every waking second, I see it
Shadows, lurking in the back of my mind
The corner, tucked away, deep inside
Hidden from any stray, prying eyes
I may have needed you, wanted you,
Embraced your form in my outstretched arms
But now I think of this not
Praying I get by the passing day, without a hitch
In my throat, with my breaths, catching
Hand to hand, tagging, with the love I so desperately crave
The touch that could make me whole
And fulfil the longing in my heart, rid the aching in my chest
This can never be achieved,
It's a concept I cannot grasp
An understanding I can never hope to attain
Once, I wished for my happiness
Oh, what a hollow dream
Pondering the thoughts I cannot own
The light I cannot steal, the darkness that surrounds me
Unrelenting in its pursuit, refusing to let go
So I sink, I drown, I accept it fully
Despite everything, I couldn't change a thing
I come to a final realisation, the world splits apart
This fragile affection of mine shatters
In another lifetime, I loved you, but not anymore
No one can mend what's broken
No one can stop this unraveling
Of the mind, the heart, the very essence of my soul
I have swallowed bitterness, choked on my very unhappiness
I have already planned my defeat, and delved into the hopelessness
I apologise for my mistakes, for ever daring to be something more
Yet there's no turning back now, no undoing my choice
I cannot outrun my terrible past, nor can I bury my endless guilt
I have to accept what's done is done
It's what you would have wanted
God, I feel so ******* lonely
Alienated in a society, that refuses to embrace me
Desperation shakes me to my very core
Piercing straight through my veins
In my head, this voice rings incessantly
Pleading, begging, praying for a future
That I would somehow find a scarce joy
But this fruitless wish is short-lived
Ever since I have come into this world, allowed the light to seep onto my skin
Ever since I have taken my first breath, when I have first opened my eyes
I have already failed in this task
And lately, I've been thinking
I want to end it all.
I don't know how to live anymore, especially when I've already given up on everything
I can't believe I'll be able to endure the emptiness I feel
I don't think I can live any longer than this
I'm so tired of it all, I wish I could die
I desire to pass away early, far beyond my time
In this plight, I perceive no end, no way out of this misery
What hope is there left? Nothing ever remains
I know there's no peace in ending it all, only suffering for those left behind
And you're still so young, barely grown
But all these reasons, they don't matter, they don't mean a thing
For once, I want to be selfish, and make a choice that's wholly my own
This one and only ending is my first
Things are impermanent, and that's the way it's been, how the universe was created
But I disagree, for the world always changes, far too quickly for my liking
Nothing in the universe is set in stone
Yet death washes away all those stains
No more worries, no more grievances
A permanent stop to the thinking
Peaceful silence in the meadows, a sun that never stops shining
Your eyes that will forever remain open
Unblinking, staring, right back at me
Gazing deeply into my soul, judging
And when my brain meets the concrete
Just ceasing to exist, killing the uneven breathing
The tick-tock chime, the consistent beating of a heart that should end
Blood pools underneath my shaking resolve
Trembling in fear, knowing what I've wanted to do
Seeing the endless abyss, engulfing me whole
In its sickeningly sweet envelope of distance
I think it's better if I ended things
It'd be the best for everyone involved
A conclusion to a story no one bothered to notice
An attention never intended to be granted
I plan to slip away quietly, and vanish into the night
So that no one would remember me, or how I died
Goodbye, my friends, and goodnight to all
I promise that I'll miss all of you deeply
I'll look back on whatever memories I have left, and remember each and every one of you fondly
Just know that this way, I can finally rest
Maybe I'll find some solace, drifting in the afterlife
I know I'll be happier when I'm gone
And thinking about it now, it starts to make sense
From the start, I should have known,
From the day I was born, when I was brought into this world
I was never fated for greatness, only misery
How foolish can I be, I ask, what do I even have to live for?
I should have never dreamed of being happy
After all, it was never meant to be
This bittersweet truth, it's all I know
And in the end, no matter how hard I tried
I'm sorry... I still couldn't let go
This heart of mine was always destined to be filled with sorrow

To my beloved companion, and my dearest friend — I love you.

Straight As, fully decked out in inventory
Peel back the layers, you see the forgotten history
More lines than words, more scars than looks
I'm writing something noteworthy
A pen and a knife, etched into my skin
The numbers mean something, the odds I must win
But this race is meaningless, no goal to achieve
At the end of the road lies emptiness, leaving no will to live.

Life doesn't get better
Stop spitting that bittersweet lie
I love you so much
It's all just falsified words, right from the snake's lips
They pile on one another, a damning mess
I can't crawl out of the abyss
So I'll sink, thinking about you
Maybe you can lie, and say you loved me too.

And if I disappeared off the face of the planet
Erased every instance of my existence on this earth
Would it even matter?
When I'm here, when I'm there with you
It doesn't mean a thing
So if I were to go, to wipe myself away
When I'm gone, would you care?
When I'm lost forever, do you even think of me?

Quiet, desperate echoes of a plea
Won't you fall asleep with me?
Lonely, loveless entity, with no one's eyes
Forgotten and lost, buried deep inside
Even when I'm half-rotted, bleeding on the floor
Maybe the ground's when I belong
My face meets the pavement, the red splatters all over
Sometimes I can't help but think
Why didn't I do this before?

Shut up until you're dead in the night
You said you don't wanna hear it
Mouth zipped, heart ripped apart
My sorrow is endless, I'm crying out regrets
Like the church bells ringing through the halls
I'm buried ten feet under, I ended it all
Stinging melancholy from your veins
It's too late to fix anything

How can I ever dream to save you
When I can't even get rid of this unhappiness inside of me...?
These haunting regrets, this miserable pain
I'm sorry for hurting you,
But I wish you'd say that too.

Maybe it's an eye for an eye
Payback for everything I've done
"Only I understand how you feel."
Those bitter words that you whispered in my ear
But you're the one who made me this way

And still, I love you all the same
Even when you hurt me,
No matter how many times you do so
Over and over again
I feel guilty, like I owe you something
Like I deserve this.

So even though you're sinking,
Drowning in your endless sins
I'll stay forever, by your side
In this lifetime, in every single one
I'll always be with you.

And for all of eternity
Until the end of time, I promise
I'll live for you, I'll die for you
I would do anything for you, my dearest
Now this, I say—
is true love.

squeezing an answer from this rotten mind of mine
peeling back the layers, the lies beneath my flesh
the bitterness between my eyes, reveals its true form
sourness wrapped in sweet epiphany
a hollow, trifling cacophony, kisses in the sweltering summer
buried these complicated memories under the fruit tree
a sympathy of half-truths, this white flaking skin blossoms
take a bite, see the way i melt under your gaze
but there's much more that meets the eye
these tears that run down your chin, revel in a thirst-quenching relief
and even if you insist it so, and have all the branches lined up in your favour  
in the place where you first met me
i'll submit to this confession, and take refuge in my admission of guilt
my dearest, the blood i bleed is crimson
not like what the world used to believe—
it must be orange.

life will get better, the lies you must tell
maybe it will, i know it won't
i understand how you feel
don't lie, and make things smaller than they seem to be
people will miss you
because of what they've forgotten to do
cherish this time we have left
you never know which day will be your last
but this sin i've committed
it feels liberating, it's the first act i've completed with my own free will
red dots, red lines pop up
idly passing by, ignored for the lights
the way the sun rises, the way the body passes
seeing the world for what it is
i love you, these words uttered too late
i am already free, exhausted from the fighting
yours truly, my sincerity
how have you been?
good, i lie—
but i wish life could have been better.

thank you for the memories you have gifted me
thank you for the times i cherish deeply
i missed you so much
between every line, every wall of text
every waiting blue sky, every waning blue interest
eventually you fade away, like all good things
maybe i’m wrong for clinging onto you
trying to hold you tight, hoping you wouldn't let go
but even my best efforts were futile
you slipped away, so quietly i couldn't do a thing
every laugh, every smile, back when times were simpler
i miss everything so dearly, so **** much
but i can’t take it back
no matter how much i try
the only end i see is a goodbye
to my memories, my forgotten past
the only thing left is a farewell isn’t it
this wasn't my intention, not at all
maybe its better this way
to disappear without a word
so you don't feel an ounce of guilt
you can sleep on peacefully
just like i have when i flew with
my clipped, broken wings
why did i try to fly?

in my death, you seek closure
and now, you will blame everyone but yourself
i know you will
i give up, im done
see me no more
perceive me no longer
then i can rest easy
closing my eyes one final time

the sun rises from the horizon
just these thoughts
this tightness in my chest
every single second
it ticks by slowly
passing away
the spark in your eyes
it fades quickly
like everything else
and how you died in my memory

people should die as they have lived
as a coward, a weakling
and the ice that melts after a breath's touch
the way i have to beg for your love
like how a dog begs for an ounce of attention from its owner
loving you was an experience i rather not forget
lonely is the heart, searching for a place to belong
it finds itself in a home, in the arms of someone that knows they do not belong
it embraces you gradually, crushing your dream slowly
suffocatingly knocking every breath out of your lungs
until it's too late, and you realised you're choking
but you don't know how else to breathe
so i accepted you lovingly, despite you killing me slowly
and now i can't live without you
no one understands you, at least thats what i thought until i met you
you don't understand me, you know me too well
you want me to become like you
no longer myself

when i die, do not desecrate my body
by laying to rest with those fools
i rather live an eternity in solitude
then to see your ruined face again
to confront this wretched reality
that you, and i, we were never loved
not once, never.

Going through the cycles
Passing through the days
Seeing people move on already
They rise quickly, fade away slowly
One day, things will be okay
Even when I start to lose the droplets of hope
And life starts to seem meaningless
That phrase gives me hope
But I'm beginning to forget
Everything special to me
As I selfishly cling onto you
Praying for your words of permission
To make me feel better
I realise after all this time, I've deceived myself
You aren't real, and so is this future
I don't know anymore
Lies or reassurance, my fateful hand
Sorry for hurting you
Maybe I am

A single white swan, basks in the light
Graceful and elegant, it glides
Through the water, observe its reflection
One’s true identity comes to light
It now bares its feathers, in an effort to scare off others
But the dove sinks further into the water, longing for their warmth
Drowning, sinking, while the swan watches keenly
Encompassing, delving into madness
Both birds, now descending in self-destruction
Now this, I say—is true love.

Close your eyes, rest easy
But I've grown weary, waiting for your texts back
Exhausted from the energy I've spent
The hours that can never be undo
The tears my eyes have wasted
Thinking about you
Questioning everything has got me dizzy
Spiralling into another baseless affair
So won't you tell me the truth
Harrowing it might be
If it's spoken from the heart
I might be able to live with it
Love, devotion, endless delusion
Peel back the layers, the petals on my skin
Melancholy, a note in the cacophony
Warmth drips down my arms
Encompassing, encasing my thoughts whole
Clinging to every bit of affection
Like it's the only thing keeping you afloat
With the storm raging in your mind
Please don't ever forget me, it begs
I can't bear to be alone
And suddenly, I'm back again
Five years too young, a few seconds too late
The air reeks of something surgical,
Sterile and scrubbed of everything
Dedicated to your memory
Walls painted with crimson, pooling in clean streaks
A lump in my throat tightens, I struggle to breathe
There's something bitter in my lungs
In this chest of mine, the knife twists
Into my flesh, it remain heavy, always damning
I swallow. Hard.
Against mine, your skin feels cold
Hand in hand, I pause for your heartbeat
Yet it never comes—
Just like you.

Extreme ends of the earth
Connect, collide, to form the stars
Reaching out, grasping for a relation
To mend the seams of this broken devastation
Static in my ears, as I watch them dance
Melancholy in my eyes, as I yearn to be free
I stare into the mirror, my reflection in the water
Is that unfamiliar face, truly me?

The hardest thing to do
Is to say goodbye
To close your eyes
To peacefully lie
The world goes dark
I'm afraid of the cold
The emptiness within
The fact I'll never grow old
Or see the flowers blossom
The sun rise once more
Not another breath
Pain, suffering, grief
It becomes meaningless
In the great scheme of things
A life once worthy
A memory once happy
A person once, ending it all
And everything is—
Finally gone
Like how things should be.

Goodbye one, farewell all
You must take responsibility
One day you will
But not today
You live in denial
I live in grief
We both sink, drowning in regret
A pit too deep to swim out of
Tar, black, vice-like grip
It envelopes my heart
Bleeding, squeezing its essence dry
Leaving nothing left but guilt
A prayer, a penny, the left and right
Clutching its cold coin in my hand
Realisation strikes me, once more
I've lost every one of my friends
So reasoning aside, how can one live?
All alone, over and over again
Ceasing to exist, perhaps becomes a mercy
To the lonely few, who must toil the earth relentlessly
What a burden, you must be.

please take responsibility
im begging you
please say you're sorry
and then maybe
we could fix things, start anew
until you take that first step
nothing could be done
when i take that first step
everything would be over
a fall from grace
someone's forgotten face
friendship, memories, drift by quickly
fleeting away, fading into the distance
i want to cry
my tears fill up the riverbank
i sit by the shore
all alone, surrounded by stillness
forgive me, for what i'm doing
and what i'm about to do
after all, there's no going back
no mending of the seams, no repairing the broken bonds
the blurry spots between your eyes
the blackened corners in your vision
tightness grips your chest
an aching takes hold, your heart none the wiser
what are you waiting for?
holding out for a phone call, some kind of text
you know it'll never come, so why bother?
i don't know.
tell me, dear god
whose forgiveness shall i ask for?
maybe myself, nothing more
wordlessly i go, into the night
splat! my face hits the concrete
as they gather around, see the corpse on display
thinking, singing—it's just another day!
truly, unduly, fulfilling their duty
glorious parades, festivals beyond the mind's eye
a quota to fill for bodies discovered
goodnight to one, goodnight for all
farewell!

if someone asks me
what good have you done with your life
the only thing i can answer is
nothing
the end is the best part
bliss within respite
finality for those who seek
paradise

pink and pretty lungs
dont you get me
ruining you mind
dont you see me
how much will it take
until its finally enough
how much must you break
until it's over?

put an end to this empty feeling
as i spend my life searching for meaning
please just let me die, dear god
and grant me the courage to do so

how you ruined me
my reflection in the mirror
my temptations to steer clear
fading gradually, sinking slowly
burn and bleed from these bruises
talking about the little things
what matters who cares why bother
collapsing false reality
won't you descend down from the heavens
and come save me?
suffocating embrace, these fleeting moments
i grasp at the threads
subtle expectations, drift by idly
in my eyes, the world glossed over
seconds tick by, aeons blink pass
i find myself, waiting alone
always still, nothing lasts
black coffee, and my glass is full
of unspoken tears, final regrets
life is deprived of its meaning
memories are gone, distant and unseeming
the way you died at that creek
this numb and empty bitterness
surrounded by cold, harsh plateaus
my hometown
the motherland
i miss you
raising the flag high in the air
white in surrender
death hung heavy
this rope curled around my neck
tightens, it scurries
this blade pressed against my skin
ripens, it blurries
the edge of the ceiling
the dangling fan, in the corner of my passage
heightens, i must hurry
shadows hidden from sight
darkness, no longer my light
making things right
something, someone
was what i meant to be
born out of a blossom
wilting, dying in a costume
rebirth in a coffin
rest easy, rest dearly
my eyes close for the final time, thinking
this wasn't meant for anybody
my mind buries in, my voice cracks
theres nothing left to say.
nothing you can do
i cant fix this
im beyond help
im beyond repair
consume me as you see fit
decipher my words as you find suitable
cry for help
desperation, useless words
give up, something i must do
does this even make sense
i dont think it does
i just wanted to be loved
i just wanted you to love me
i just wanted to be happy
yet i achieved nothing
im pretending to be something greater
im pretending to be something better
but im nothing, this is all a facade
my words dont make sense
logic remains missing, no longer a constant
and its all my fault
somehow, everything is
im doomed
impose your thoughts, your preconceived notions
i am an object, an idea
never a person, never your one
discard any hopes of understanding
blame no one but yourself
for what happened
for what ive done, what im planning to do
its already over
never enough time
i always wish for more
there is no saving a sinking ship
just jump abroad, swim far, far away
the wreckage cannot be salvaged
the mistakes cannot be mended
leave me to drown now
please?
im sorry for making you see this
this awful, terrible side of me
but to those who have, to those who once cared
thank you for reading
goodbye.

im suffocating
what were you expecting?
its all your fault
negligence
the cruelest thing you've done
is breathe life into my figure
at least if i die, not by my own will
the death will be justifiable, honourable almost
not a lone soul waiting, for their own self-destruction
i know you don't feel the same way
you'll never say i do
thank you for giving me the opportunity
to finally say i love you
and i miss you too

why bother giving birth to a child if you despise them so
**** me already, let me ******* go
dont suffocate me in this oppressive embrace
just let me die, at least give me this final grace

Trapped in a cage, a prison of my own making
To set myself free, I must cut off your wings
But in the end, I lost everything
I'm sorry, for dying.

trapped in a cage, a prison of my own making
i ripped your wings, to set myself free
you have molded, into a person of my own design
you change yourself, to attend my every need
on the inside, all i feel empty,
harrowing guilt eats me alive
knowing i have killed you, that much indeed
i'm sorry for ever living, for taking all that is dear to me
in the end, i lost my only friend.

Pain and resentment
Back and forth I rock
Shake and stake
My hopes on a door lock
Keys and birthday cake
All I do is take
Just wondering if you meant it then?

What am I doing here?
A fish above saltwater
Blurry faces, erased places
I can't breathe
It's your fault.

Nothing is as it seems
They carry him about slowly
Unease slipping off their shoulders
Gently, words fade in the dark
Leaving behind a mold of the man
An aftermath of an awful affair
Death denotes this simple occurrence
As nothing more than a bad dream

i slice open the flesh that was offered before me
a dedication to a cause most meaningful
i give myself over, now and fully
the little drops, slippery and small
drip down below, embracing the fall.

i still don't know what i'm trying to be
can't tell when things went south, yeah
my life is collapsing all around me
these words spew out of your ******* mouth
you call this true love, another lie
weren't you the one saying you'd leave?
now i'm only one left, asking why
people must suffer before they finally die.

Even if you have passed, I cannot let go of your embrace
So I shall continue to lovingly call for your name  
And I will sing this melody, to remember you by.

I just need a witness
Why play this wretched game
It's driving me insane
I'm not crazy, my memory is just hazy
Tell me these thoughts are mine
These monsters lurking are not in my mind
This suffering is real, to me it is
The truth, misconstrued
An enemy, are you?

your trust is truthfully misplaced
my acts, are falsely praised
i feel my brain being stretched
from the inside out
my rotting flesh
has an unbearable stench
the squelch of my remains
my blood, a liquid courage
or an act of self-sacrificing cowardice?

nothing is worth the risk
no price is worth paying
if it means you end up dying
but i didn't heed no warnings
i still went ahead, and ruined things
despite everything, i couldn't change a thing.

i know, for you, my words became nothing
and yet, i find myself wishing for more
our friendship, this relationship
i hope it meant something to you.

life is no longer fun
tired of waiting for someone
i want to run away
from what plagues me so

i sleep and laze all day
then wake up whenever
the cycle repeats
escape waiting to die

is this what it means
to be free
of life itself
and responsibility?

off i must go
into the night
drifting all alone
embrace the fondness
of long awaited slumber

these empty feelings
make me hollow inside
it becomes a struggle
to stay alive

i feel enervated
mixed with exasperated
always exhausted
seeking for a means to an end.