if someone asks me
what good have you done with your life
the only thing i can answer is
nothing
the end is the best part
bliss within respite
finality for those who seek
paradise

pink and pretty lungs
dont you get me
ruining you mind
dont you see me
how much will it take
until its finally enough
how much must you break
until it's over?

put an end to this empty feeling
as i spend my life searching for meaning
please just let me die, dear god
and grant me the courage to do so

how you ruined me
my reflection in the mirror
my temptations to steer clear
fading gradually, sinking slowly
burn and bleed from these bruises
talking about the little things
what matters who cares why bother
collapsing false reality
won't you descend down from the heavens
and come save me?
suffocating embrace, these fleeting moments
i grasp at the threads
subtle expectations, drift by idly
in my eyes, the world glossed over
seconds tick by, aeons blink pass
i find myself, waiting alone
always still, nothing lasts
black coffee, and my glass is full
of unspoken tears, final regrets
life is deprived of its meaning
memories are gone, distant and unseeming
the way you died at that creek
this numb and empty bitterness
surrounded by cold, harsh plateaus
my hometown
the motherland
i miss you
raising the flag high in the air
white in surrender
death hung heavy
this rope curled around my neck
tightens, it scurries
this blade pressed against my skin
ripens, it blurries
the edge of the ceiling
the dangling fan, in the corner of my passage
heightens, i must hurry
shadows hidden from sight
darkness, no longer my light
making things right
something, someone
was what i meant to be
born out of a blossom
wilting, dying in a costume
rebirth in a coffin
rest easy, rest dearly
my eyes close for the final time, thinking
this wasn't meant for anybody
my mind buries in, my voice cracks
theres nothing left to say.
nothing you can do
i cant fix this
im beyond help
im beyond repair
consume me as you see fit
decipher my words as you find suitable
cry for help
desperation, useless words
give up, something i must do
does this even make sense
i dont think it does
i just wanted to be loved
i just wanted you to love me
i just wanted to be happy
yet i achieved nothing
im pretending to be something greater
im pretending to be something better
but im nothing, this is all a facade
my words dont make sense
logic remains missing, no longer a constant
and its all my fault
somehow, everything is
im doomed
impose your thoughts, your preconceived notions
i am an object, an idea
never a person, never your one
discard any hopes of understanding
blame no one but yourself
for what happened
for what ive done, what im planning to do
its already over
never enough time
i always wish for more
there is no saving a sinking ship
just jump abroad, swim far, far away
the wreckage cannot be salvaged
the mistakes cannot be mended
leave me to drown now
please?
im sorry for making you see this
this awful, terrible side of me
but to those who have, to those who once cared
thank you for reading
goodbye.

im suffocating
what were you expecting?
its all your fault
negligence
the cruelest thing you've done
is breathe life into my figure
at least if i die, not by my own will
the death will be justifiable, honourable almost
not a lone soul waiting, for their own self-destruction
i know you don't feel the same way
you'll never say i do
thank you for giving me the opportunity
to finally say i love you
and i miss you too

why bother giving birth to a child if you despise them so
**** me already, let me ******* go
dont suffocate me in this oppressive embrace
just let me die, at least give me this final grace

Trapped in a cage, a prison of my own making
To set myself free, I must cut off your wings
But in the end, I lost everything
I'm sorry, for dying.