So I always color my soul the color of you.

Sometimes
I think I can hear you loud and clear
On the other end
Of this channeling soul.

But I am always deathly afraid
That it's just meaningless
Perpetual echoes
Circling within my own
Closed and hollow
Inescapably fragile
Heart.

Have you ever loved someone
Not for their love
But their inability to love
Or be loved.

You finally want to give someone
Your everything
Only to realize
You have nothing to give
And they don't know how to accept
Anything

And so
Two desperately loud souls
Suffer
In complete
Silence.

My heart aches when I long for you
And I think it hurts when you miss me too
Though they twinge in different
Sharpness and hues
The Language within Me and You

Sometimes I think,
You speak to me through my own thoughts.

Time forges the rivulets of my heart
In their contorted paths
Till I know not their ways

I always thought they would lead me
To new beginnings
Open roads to another heart
From a knotted birth

Till I have exhausted
Enough of them
To realize that
Though they may seem
To be traveling towards
Other turning threads
Of enigmatic goals

They will always wind back
To their core
To the nothingness
Of a hollow
End.

Everyday
From when I open my eyes
Till I bid adieu to the unwilling nights
I sit empty minded
And refresh

Old news
Refresh

Samething
Refresh

Silence
Refresh

Nothing ever changes
No one ever answers
Except the hollow fear
And knowing emptiness

Still,
I sit
And
Refresh.

I like to lay beside warm bodies
Never too used to the cold
But my love is for naught
but a dream within a dream

I still want to be with you
Through the tulips and willow
But I don't know, don't know
If my memories still withhold
Within, within you

Because
You left me caressing the air
Breath what's not there through
Me and my naked soul
My naked soul
My naked soul

Swimming through the wind
I saw shadows but nothing to hold
I kept my memories of old
and a silent story to be told

But
Your absence stripped me bare
and left me in the cold
Me and my naked soul
My naked soul
My naked soul
I sat under the willow shade
Peeled at the pink rose
and thought of you
But nothing's clear

Since
You left me here
With another muddled affair
I can only feel
Us and our naked souls
Our naked souls
Our naked souls

If the Earth vanishes
The sun still rises
But, what about the moon;
I am lost in orbit without you.

If the Earth vanishes
The sun still rises
But, what about the moon;
I am lost in orbit without you
Fringes away from
Drifting further and further deep
into the dark abyss unknown.
Still, I struggle to remain close to you
(Or where you were)
Pulled by the elusive sight of the light that once
Dawned and dusked on
Both me and you
Savouring whatever sweet traces that's left of you
Embracing the illusive presence of you
Hoping one day you would unexpectedly return in place
And your leaving had brought me ever closer to
You.

My love for you didn't perish
In our clash of silent indifference
That devoured me whole
And tore me apart from you
Instead
In our departure
I became the moon
Forever separated by a force of unrequited attraction
And pushed and pulled by the invisible strings of tidal longings
That never bring me close enough to you
Yet
I tirelessly revolve around you
To give you light when your sun is too weary to
And hide in the dark at your brightest,
Afraid to steal any light away from you.
I have always been here for you
Whether or not you knew.
Whether or not you loved me too.

My love for you didn't perish
In our clash of silent indifference
That devoured me whole
Instead I became the moon
Tirelessly revolving around you
Giving you light when your sun is too weary to
And hiding in the dark at your brightest,
Afraid to steal any light away from you.
Still, I have always been here for you
Whether or not you knew.

On this crossroad of me and you
I still decided to leave
To keep on going on my own
Because I knew I have passed by you long ago
I knew on this one way street of fallen and regrown dreams weathered and used
The only way back to you
Is for the unforeseeable curvature of time
To wind us back
Unexpectedly
Unlikely
Yet, completely fatefully
Till we start our old journey together
Anew.
Heading back to the happier place we once knew.

(Perhaps the road isn't in the shape of a mourning cross,
perpendicular to me and you,
parallel to other dreams lost and killed,
But in the shape of a heart,
Through the curves and ebbs
It will always bring me back to you.)

I want to bury my soul in your loneliness to spring a beautiful dandelion of your happiness.

A ****** of Crows
By: Yitkbel
10/15/2013
10:29AM
A muffled nosing
The crow calls at its cradling twilight
The crinkling of the raven’s vigorous grin
Invites a palpitation even from beneath the ledger
Thud, Thud, Thud
Nearer and Nearer
Storm or thunder
Thud, Thud, Thud
Nigh or Yonder
Fear and Wonder
Thud, Thud, Thud
Who’s there
Answer me mister!
Are you a messenger of the night?
Are you a angel of divinity’s right?
Thud, Thud, Thud,
Even louder!
“Come hither, come hither”
Who calls, in that lustful whisper
Only us,
The Mistresses of death,
You?
A flock of crows?
No,
A ******
A ****** of crows.

Why must I swim like an empty vessel,
A lost boat among your vast ocean love,
When I can be your Lighthouse,
Unnoticed, insignificant
But forever caressing you and
Watching over you from afar.

Still
From Me to You

You are the sweetest dreams in my sleepless nights

You are my untouchable muse, though I have felt all of life through you

Still

I swim insignificantly among your vast ocean love

Still

I see you everywhere, but you are nowhere to be found

Still

I will always love you like a stubborn child, foolishly faithful

Even though I am just burning for you
Like a candle lit lamp under the sun

Still

I'd rather be your eternal shadow than the momentary sunshine.

Still

I will always love you.

I showed you the way to my soul,
Hoping you would walk right in,
And indulge in all the little hidden
Presents I have planted for you
In my long unoccupied garden of love,
That yearned to be seen.  
But you found no urgency to enter
No need and no desire to knock.
Is it because you thought
I would always be right here
At the gates, keeping it wide open
Waiting to give you everything,
As soon as you asked?

But you never did.

So losing faith, and losing heart
I finally decided to shut it down
completely.
Hoping you would finally be intrigued
By the sudden closed doors
And finally be lead by your regretful curiosity
To knock, and inquire
What was hidden deep within.
What treasures could have been yours to
Take.
And keep.


(But most likely,
You would still hide away quietly
In your cozy little cabin of safety,
At most,
Only occasionally peering distantly from within,
Never taking the risk to leave.
Never taking the risk of a prickle or a sting
From plucking and holding even the most beautiful things
From my youthful affections in its zealous Spring. )

I always knew you were a beautiful bird
But I thought I was one too
I thought one day we could sing together
If only I flew close to you
But as I danced and twirled to no avail
I looked into the mirror in your eyes
Hurt and confused
It was then that I finally saw
It was then the truth unveiled
I was merely twigs and leaves
Intertwined with self-deceiving hues.

So I took it all off
Sat bare in autumn's fallen clothes,
Mourning the loss of my illusive muse.

(I finally knew,
That to you,
I was merely invisibly blaring
In front of an all too ordinary view.)

Our love grew
Blossomed
Not into a short lived rose
With all its possessive beauty
But into an untouchable
Dandelion
With the gale of time
Carrying it away as soon
We attempt to hold it too dearly
Too closely.

The seeds of memories escape us
But they don't cease to exist
They may drift away
But they will drift back down to earth
Gradually and quietly
Transforming the barren of our minds
Into a beautiful and fertile land
Unending.

I thought I could be the keeper of time
Holding onto the most precious things
Like a handful of sugar squeezed tightly into a child's stubborn fist
Refusing to let go

I let everything around me change
They turned sour, became bitter
Withered and faded
Till nothing was the same
Till no sweetness remained

I thought it didn't matter
I thought I kept what I loved safe

But when I finally opened my palm
To savor what I held most dear
I realized, in horror,
That almost all of it has slipped away
Save only for a few seeds of memories
That the gale of time might
At any unexpecting moment,
Steal them all away.

I am not a lonely soul
That roams free with an unkempt spirit.
I am one that stands perfectly still,
Letting everything rush by me,
Then lament their departure,
and mourn for all that I have lost.

I was a withering leaf of grass who aspired to fly,  
but didn't have wings,
Nor could I withstand the weight of dreams
Crushing in.
I despaired in terror
Every dusk till next morning
My doomed burial in traceless wind
Until you came rushing in,
In forms of
Sunshine, Earth and rain,
And now,
Full of life once again,
My everything.

The Time Keeper
By: Yidhna

I am the keeper of time,
Holding onto the PAST
Mindlessly
Senselessly
Unyieldingly
So that, one day
In the FUTURE
We can seamlessly meld back into the
PRESENT
Once again.
(The PRESENT
Of which you still remain)

I was the invisible child hollow
Fragile with a glass shell
Until you came by
Filled me with honey
And all the colors I would ever need.

Till I was content,
Till I was fulfilled.

But then,
Abruptly
At my happiest
At my fullest
You vanished.

In sadness, in grief, in mourning
I withered, gradually
The coldness and wintry grips
Shattered me

All the sweetness left me;
All the colors faded and seeped.

Now I am just shards trying to rebuild myself
Complete

Savoring what little trace of the honey that's still clinging on to me

So that when I am ready to be filled again
So that when you finally come around again

I could still be yours to keep.

You are the full moon in my starless night
As I look for the light lost on the way to my safe keep

You are the tender whispering among the sharp laughters of mockery that grips my soul so softly and loudly

You are the warm tears rolling down my wintry cheeks I kept bare so long and
So numbly

You are the intoxicating reverie in my tumultuously violent and destructive thoughts oceans deep

You are the warm cup of tea
I hold in my stubborn hands as I freeze in the cold running to thee

You are
You are...

You are all that I wanted to keep  
Everlastingly

But only come once in awhile so
Unexpectedly

Still,  I grip onto you tightly
In shattering broken pieces

Just so I can be drenched in those orgastic moments bare and
Completely

My words are scattered
Scattered in the woods
In dews and fallen leaves

My words are scattered
Scattered in your tea
In the milk and honey

My words are scattered
Scattered in unseen places
In the shadows and behind window panes

My words are scattered
Scattered between lips
In laughter and mockery

But what do my words say
They speak of love
They speak of love only for you
But they are for the universe to keep
(Hidden, omnipresent, and eternally)

You are the sweetest dreams in my sleepless nights.

I swim insignificantly among your vast ocean love.

We are not all born from the light of a thousand spotless suns.
And in the darkness, we wronged, asked for
forgiveness but could not amend the past.
Eventually, we bloom, with learned righteousness, and shined with a new light.

Yet, sometimes, we still wondered, if it is too
late, if we are forever condemned to our childish sins, and naïve hatred, and in the light of those better than us, will we ever be blessed with glad acceptance, or will we be forever segregated for
our past inevitable faults.

We can’t change the past, yet hold on to them,
until the dream of afterlife relieves us from
these mortal coils.
We can build the future, but sometimes only to hide our spectres and cover our tracks.
Will time truly heal the broken Earth with new dust, and tarnish the scars we inflicted upon each other?
In the end, what is our end? For what do we
strive, when all have exhausted, there’s nothing to remember us with, except for-from dust to dust-the words in the wind.

And so, we have to find our happiness in the
living, the moment, and for once, not haunted by the past, and fear for our future. For once, we
want to be content in the present, for the "now" is no longer unkept promises, and successful failures; fading hopefulness, and endless waiting for the beginning of the tale, when there is no story.

We started the search in our past, but the answer will forever be in the present, and our future, forever in the moment.

You had friends, not many, but
still, you had friends. You were
happy, felt mature and never
worried about anything, but
recently you seem to be moving
backwards, walking in the wrong
direction. You shed your friends
like you shed your dead skin cells.
You are growing backwards even, you
are becoming a whiny, jealous,
insecure, and self aware toddler;
everything looks to harm you, and
you are afraid even daddy and mommy
won't love you anymore or just
you've grown so old that their love
for their baby has diminished to a
critical point where the care and
attention you now desperately need
are no longer an option.


You feel horribly lonely, but in
isolation, who cares, who will hear
you. No one, you are dead inside,
but you are afraid of ****** death,
for even in heaven, you are afraid
you will be alone. But, how can you
live when you don't even feel your
own breath, let alone anyone
else’s. You don't scream, don't
want to scream, don't need to
scream, NO ONE will HEAR YOU.
You are dead and alive, you are invisible.

I won't cross the line
I won't get too close
But I will be here
Waiting
Waiting for you
In the familiar distance
Until you come back around
Until I am nothing
But the dust in the wind.

Perhaps then,
I can finally caress you
Caress your coat
Caress your shadow
Caress your smile
Caress your soul
Fierce and eternally.

Even though you are away
I will still stay
Waiting for that one inevitably unexpecting day
When you mindlessly pass my way
And finally,
Abruptly,
Steal my wanderlust soul astray.

Craving Paradise
By: Lucian Huw Benedict

I built a paradise out of despair too desperate
Too empty, too silent, I only hear the echoing
Reveries, Fantasies, The Angels are singing
As if so near yet so distant



I built a cathedral with my desires
Above all creations, through the windows forever higher
I am burning, drowning in warmth that's not there
Yet I am letting it heal the pain, pouring down Gilded Rain



I crave heaven, snowflakes and stardust of heavens
Yet, I am burning in hell, as
A sinning believer kneeling in the spotlight of Benevolence
Gazing at the white dove, my sight follows it to heaven
Leaving me at lost
My shadows escape, running in two directions
"Are you heading to the quiet paradise?"
"Or to pay your debt in hell, My Conscience”



I saw the angel's innocence with my mind’s eye
Too blurry, too abstract, a mirage's city reigns
Begging, For the Fortune Wheel's Turning Tides
I used my illusions to reverse back the flown kite,
And went back to a Dreamer's night



I wrote rhapsody with a fantasia
A Silent Solo, I can't hear the melancholia
Silent Melancholia
Peaceful, *******, I take off the camouflage
And Play the last desperate tune
Between Heaven and Earth, Up and Down



I crave heaven, lights and warmth of paradise
But am simmering in hell, like the
Sinner in Purgatory aflame in a ray of righteousness
The most sorrowful thunder roars in turmoil among the raging clouds
Just a flight of solitary plight
He spreads open different wings
Crimson light and White shines
Tears him between the Inferno and Paradise

You are my untouchable muse, yet I have felt all of life through you.

Draw me with a pencil
Erase me when you leave

Color me with chalks
Wash me away when you leave

Hum me with a mindless tune
Forget me when you leave

Build me with dust and rain
Break me when you leave

But never ever leave
Because,
Without you, I'd rather cease to be.

I was that empty little pail
With a hole in my heart
Draining my life away
and
You were that piece of clay
that allowed all of the water to stay.

Except, the water that stayed
Didn't watch its way
Overflowed and washed away the clay
Now
Once again
Broken and in decay
The soul in me drained away

Draw me with a pencil
Erase me when you've been lured by the next leaf

Color me with chalks
Wash me away when you've been longed by your keep

Hum me with a mindless tune
Forget me when you flirt with your keys

Build me with dust and rain
Break me when you are needed by the warmth and heat

But never ever leave
Those things only love you so casually
But, me
Without you,
I'd cease to be.

I have a childlike outlook
A hand drawn interpretation of life
But it is your warm and reassuring love
That adds all the color to my blank coloring book

I am the moon child that roams free
Senselessly in the starless nights
While you are all that's Earthly
Only occasionally glance up at the sky
Still, I love you,
And would rather be the dust floating in the silvery moonlight,
Just to be close to you.

I used to see you every day
But I never knew your name
I always feared that one day you would get away
And nothing would ever be the same
Till I stumbled upon your name
In that receipt you stuck in my hand
Now at least I have your name
Even though you got away
I still write you love letters every day
Even if they are never read
They would still be yours to keep
Because all my love for you
Could write a long long book
And on the cover of it
Written in my heart and soul
Would be your name

I will keep the memories of you in my mind
Like a cherished and tattered anthology
To flip through constantly
Happy to have found such a wonderful treasure
However fleeting and incomplete each story may be.

I have had my bones chipped away from me,
Have had my share of physical and emotional pain,
But those pain subsided in a week's reign,
Yet,
I am still here,
Crying over the loss of thee.

I just want to be the little secret
That never makes into your words,
But fills up your mind.

I will always love you like a stubborn child, foolishly faithful.

I see you everywhere, but you are nowhere to be found.

Oh
how I wish
you love me just as much as I love you.
But I am just burning for you
Like a candle lit lamp under the sun.

Everything has been a little broken lately:
The screens
The lights
The coffee machine
Me
Other people
The hours...
Well, mostly me.

Everyday,
I used to look forward to you coming by,
and pay for your orders with your reassuring smile.
But, ever since you left,
Ever since you stopped coming by,
Things fell apart.
Nobody smiles anymore,
Nobody wants to be here anymore.
Especially me.
But, I am still here
Waiting,
Waiting to catch up to the past,
that abruptly slipped away from me:
Those days that were truly happy,
because I knew you’d always be there,
Not matter how momentarily.