Silly, silly boys in High School
The majority of which show off their upper halves, and lift weights to impress
Silly, silly girls in High School, trying to be in the same in the way that they show skin
Silly, silly children
More, more
We want the outrageous stories, we’ve built up resistance to being impressed
We want more of the world
More skin, more drugs, more drinks
We won’t stop until we’re intoxicated with the world
More technology, more color, more sounds
More movies, more ***, more happiness
More starving, more shooting, more ****
More worry, more violence
More

Silly, silly boys in High School
Most girls would prefer a guy who’s not shallow and strong unless the girl is also shallow
But smart mentally, the future of the world
Silly, silly girls
Boys don’t want a ****, unless they’re also a ****
They want someone confident and comfortable in their own skin
Someone funny and charismatic
Silly, silly children
Less, less
We’re gobbling up everything in an attempt to be great
But we’re also wasting our resources, moving onto new things
Already bored with our toys
Less water, less food
Less fuel, less cries heard in the night
Less energy, less motivation
Less segregation, less smoking
Less suicide, less anorexics
Less

And soon, if we continue, we’ll be left with nothing
Left for the dead
Silly, silly boys
Silly, silly girls
Silly, silly generation

Everyone’s mom teaches them the basics of life
How to take care of yourself
How to make friends

My mother taught me to be proud of who I am
There was an asian who went to my old school who made fun of himself just to make friends
My mother pointed out, “His way with dealing with the bullying is bad. Don’t do what he does.”
But I felt sorry for him
Because even I understood at that age
That joking about yourself is a survival skill and usually what you say isn’t actually a joke
But you let people laugh so you feel accepted
Ad it becomes a relentless habit that pursues and consumes you
Until you degrade yourself so much that you’re practically nothing

I remember the first time I proudly actually said to someone:
“I’m Chinese.” only to have the response:
“Yeah. I can tell. Your eyes.” and a rather belittling smirk.

I dealt with so many people mocking me at the point of saying I’m super smart or play instruments and that was so ‘Chinese'
I’ve dealt with people stretching the corners of their eyes with their fingers
As if they weren’t stretching my heart
And I laughed because I couldn’t think of what else to do
But inside,  part of me died, gone up in smoke and flew away to wherever Hell was

Why do I have to live up to something like that?

I just want to be me
But even that won’t work
I cannot simply stop how others see me
And usually all they see me as is an Asian

We’re all put in groups
So why does it even matter to even be good at something
When it won’t remove the label put on you at birth?

Apparently I can’t be bad at something…anything.
Do you know what that’s like when someone gives me a look when I tell them I’ve failed something?
Another piece of my soul goes up in smoke
I’m sorry I’m a human too!

Apparently Chinese are supposed to be really good at things
I’m sorry if I don’t want to be perfect!
I’m sorry I want to be flawed…that I want to be a freak
That I already am one
That word stings when you say it to me
But as long as I have people standing by me
For me to be a freak with
It’s not such a bad word

A shower of gold crossed the floor
And the reflections bounced and ran
And so the sunlight spilled into the room
To comfort a lesser man

The light and warmth seemed to cleanse
The worries from his mind
And it was not long before
He began to close his eyes

He began to dream
Of all his problems solved
But unfortunately, he opened his eyes
And his dream had quite dissolved

But as he lounged in his chair
The sunlight again returned
To wash him in it's light
And cleanse him of his concerns

The man gazed around
The gold that shone around the chamber
And he thought to himself:
"See how there's no danger?

*"For the sun has saved so much of me
And I don't know quite what to do
Because you've healed my soul so much
For now, I'll simply say thank you."

I have this feeling
Crawling in my skin
Eating me from the inside
When will I learn my lesson?

Tell me that I'm the best.
Even though I think it's not true.
Change my day
Make it better, when I'm blue.

Tell me I'm perfect
But love me for my flaws
Love me for me
While the feelings are still raw

Don't lie to me
Don't hurt me
As difficult as it seems
Now, don't you understand
How difficult women are to please?

Yes, sometimes strength is being the last person to survive.
But other times, there's silent strength when you know it's enough, and you back down.

You said I was everything.
Then you left me, and I was nothing.
So what am I when you came back to claim me?

I was hidden away in the dark
Without you, I had a stone cold heart
Did you think by appearing you could unfreeze it?

I lost myself
And didn't want to find myself
So when you came back in my life and reminded me who I was
I sunk deeper into the shadows.

I'm glad you're back.
I'm no longer lonely.
You say you won't leave me.
But how can I trust you?
Especially when you've already left once.