If you were me for week what would you see?

Monday...
A couple of pills that strangers diagnose me with by the age of 13.

Tuesday...
My demons had friends they called
“ADHD”.
Anyone who knows how it feels ... it’s like you got million things to say but you can’t even speak.
Your mind is real and your body is a dream.
Your hands calm but your eyes wonder as if it had feet.
In those days i had no peace.

Wednesday...
You wake up as a 26 year old stronger then the 15 year old you were.
Yet still throwing the alter egos away as they snarl insults of your uncle who took your innocence away at a park.
Don’t listen to them.. all they want is to see you cry.
I shed tears but I learned how not to reply.
Something that I did Better when he told me to close my eyes.

Thursday..
And finally you blinked!
You’re standing on a stage with models with the light in your eyes you can finally see a Mascara of a guy who covers his sexuality.
He was the only one who believes I was somebody to meet.


Friday..
You clean out your closet and you show your mother the skeletons.
Without the acceptance it was still medicine.
Because I breath into these bones and for the first time in the mirror I could touch my own reflection.

Saturday..
...nothing literally nothing,
Complete silence and you found a smile in that.
Nothing worth more then a person who can be alone and wake up to them self stil intact.

Sunday...
You stopped taking the pills years ago and found resolutions,
And to say the least you burned every thought that made point out your darkest illusions

At the center of it all,
I found the center of him
Only putting the tip in I’m finding my love exceeds within
Sweet satisfaction for him
To know there someone that’s all in
Without putting the shaft in

I find myself in your silence
When you speak you take my tongue
And when your beside me it’s like resting in my heaven
Angles fly and the demons laugh.
We yell and fight just to stay alive
Funny how were high and still find a common ground.
But anyone who loved anyone would know what goes up must come down,
But Abide in My  arms for there you will always be safe and sound.

Sometimes I feel like you generally don’t care and when I start you silent.
Other times I feel like you care so much to the degree of still trying
That one time you didn’t let me see your phone I believe it kinda messed me up but they say to a healthy relationship, I suppose to give you space
but being honest with me I believe is your first resort as well in healthy relationship.
All the time I’m with you I pour my heart an I like that bout us
I don’t know where you not being fluent in that is coming from
Which gives me suspicious that you’re not being real with us
Then questions flood in but when you told me I’m leaving and go find someone else like you cause I don’t love the way you love made me feel like it’s me that’s asking for too much
even my ex said that so I know I tend  to gice you the benefit of the doubt
My sister said i just love you and in love there is a reverence of fear there that they could walk out
Now that we’re yelling I asked you are you really done!
You not walking away and staying quiet you really don’t want to
I held my hand out and you came to
I guess being passive aggressive to see a better view
Is a different me, a trying with us and the same you.
Don’t worry I wanna see us work to

Push me and you find yourself falling deeper
We walked threw the worst like mud on sneakers
***** words thrown out your mouth
All because I was watering your soil!
This broken complex you live under needs it
Maybe if I wasn’t so driven
I would of crashed the first few seconds.
And yet I still would of been ok
But no!

See a lover like me I see the danger and I run to it
Making the mountains leveled
And the streets a complete  ruin.
Tell me you don’t love me again
And as you lie to  your own self
You can’t neglect

My loyalty & my passion
If you ever wanted real love
Then lights, camera.....
Action

Smoking tonight but I swear that I’m sober,
We ain’t talk in minute but ima head over

People say I changed
They don’t know the pain
I needed you the moment I came your way
I called from the roof tops covered in vain.
I use to drive by my ex just to feel the pain
My tears were the only thing that made me leave this place.


Far from the pain,
You can say I changed
When he called I came
Because I know the shame.
He came in the moment when I needed a flame
He waited on the roof top to pick my brain
He was tired but came anyway
And now you’re ready to receive your only son but I'm miles away

You shouldn’t wait,
Dad...it’s ok