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XIII Nov 2017
A love that can easily be mine
It's already in my hand
All I had to do was to grasp
But it was left undone

A love that came back
It still won't come true but
It was still in my hand
And I was taken aback

Being the weakling that I am,
My heart wavered and I was shaken
To the past, I felt regret
To the present, I felt guilt

And now I'm stuck
Which way? Left or right?
And since I can't decide
I am dropping them all, leaving nothing behind

Go! Go all away!
Leave me be for this is where I'll stay
In the middle of nowhere is my imprisonment
To the future, I feel nothing

Love? I won't ever fvcking wish for it
Just let those love I've let go to find it instead
Let them find peace, and maybe someday forgiveness
At my sanity's expense
XIII Nov 2017
"When one person is cursed, two graves are dug."
© Jigoku Shoujo
XIII Nov 2017
To love and to be loved is the greatest gift you can ever receive
And I am cursed to not ever have these
Twice, no thrice
And I deserved it
XIII Nov 2017
My ever-growing fear blocks me again
Not only from fear of getting hurt
But also from the fear of hurting others
But as I fear those things, I'm unknowingly doing them
Sometimes, people hurt others while getting hurt.
XIII Nov 2017
Ber months probably got him going
The lack of warmth and the upcoming winter
Though without snow
Got him in the mood

He got his pen out
Writes numerous twists on the plot
Changing the dull, routinary daily life
Into an action-packed comedy-drama genre with a slice of heist

I wonder how he looks like as he smirks in amusement
From the roller coaster and everyday torment
He casts upon me
Is it self-satisfying, you fvcking sadist?

I am a writer, too
It's karma, no?
Shall I extract revenge on my characters?
Vengeance is so sweet, it's time for another update
XIII Nov 2017
The **** totality of their being was sent.
Is it to your liking?
XIII Nov 2017
The alchemist once turned great love and pain
into hatred
and kept it deep inside his pocket,
walked the land in a journey to love himself.

A new love came,
he fearfully, carefully held it into his hands.
He had forgotten how to,
but he tried his best to cradle it so.

Unexpectedly, an old feeling emerged.
It was so heavy that he had to let
that new love fall to the cement,
watching it get cracked and shattered.

But he had no choice,
his hands were full
and he was a fool
who needs to look at the mirror.

He realized the heaviness
was coming from deep inside his pocket,
he took it out, breaking his hands in the process,
he took a deep sigh, then turns his hatred into forgiveness.

All these time he was bounded
by the thing he thought that'd protect him,
he blew its dust into the wind
and he was finally released from the chain.

But it was too late,
the love he had to let go has rolled away,
only to come back as hatred,
not just one, but multiple pieces.

The equivalent exchange was violated,
it was him who did that in the first place.
He was now left with nothing
but with his transmutation circle.

He lied in that blood-drawn doodle
accepted all the hatred summoned
it all had to happen, he thought
it wasn't all for naught.

The forgiveness he gave
is now the forgiveness he wishes to receive.
Maybe an impossible feat
but he's hoping he'll be given another chance to start again.

The alchemist who used too much alchemy,
now empty-handed, exhausted but free,
finally,
lets out a painfully sorrowful glee.
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