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Xander Holden Oct 2018
tangled in the sheets still half asleep
sun peeking in on this moment of peace
warmth fills the room and a tentative smile
reflects that the actions of night were worthwhile

maybe it's nature or maybe it's fate
the acceptance and love I see on your face
a movie, a kiss, then we laid down like this
and just fell asleep to wake up in bliss

we may have a different kind of love
but the sun in the sky doesn't judge
and in the privacy of home and heart
golden acceptance is a wondrous start
Xander Holden Oct 2018
take my hand and i'll take yours
down every path, we'll open doors
dark and light, wrong or right
we will make it through the night

don't look down, the rope is thin
pray there's not a gust of wind
joy and pain, sun and rain
our lives burning like flames

the hill is steep and so's the price
but if we make it up in time
you and I, today and forever
can make it through any weather
Xander Holden Sep 2018
I have no claim over that which I am proud
I refuse to believe that means I'm not aloud
to feel the way I do

I have no dreams that I do not wish to make reality
I refuse to believe that means I must agree
To adopt society's mentality

I have no problem protecting what I love
I refuse to step down when push comes to shove
silently planning a coup

I have no powerful status, no connections
but I will not be a mindless reflection
I will stay true

To them, I am not a threat
let that be their last regret
Xander Holden Aug 2018
you have deadlines
but you also have friends
you have needs
but you also have dreams
you have a voice
but some days are silent
you have a chance
but first you have to admit:
you have a life -
Now do more than survive it
A lot can change in a year....
In one year
I went from being broke,
in a relationship,
barely able to function,
questioning if my life
was even worth living...

To finding a career that made me feel like I was finally good at something.
Making more money than I ever knew what to do with.
Breaking up with the boy I thought I was going to marry,
who I thought I would die without.
Finding my way back to happiness and contentment.
Mending my own heart,
without finding someone else to fix me.
And figuring out my purpose in this world.

I went from having a big group of friends,
to having almost none at all.
I went from hell to heaven,
and back around again
a hundred times or more.
I went from depending on everyone else for my happiness and self worth.
To depending on no one,
and discovering my worth based on the way I love and treat myself.
I went from never living away from home or doing anything on my own,
To moving to a new town,
new place,
and having the summer of a lifetime.

A lot can change in a year.
And looking back now,
Even though discovering myself was something I needed to do,
it has been one truly lonely year.

I think that's the part that ***** so much about growing up.
You start to realize what really matters,
who really cares,
and what never
and who never did...

It's both uplifting and completely infuriating.

This year was about finding myself.
Fixing myself.
Proving to myself,
That I deserve to live
Even if no one else loves me the way I deserve.

Next year will be about finding new people.
The good kind, you know?
The genuine
The kind
The loving
The fun
The real.
Next year is about letting new people in.

I have hope now.
Everything changed for me this year.
I finally believe in myself.
Next year everything else will fall into place.
Xander Holden Aug 2018
Hello. I said again today in the same way that I always say
Goodbye. I cried on the carride home surprised you felt as I
Next summer. I will see you then and when we meet again
Who knows. A year away i cannot say what may grace our next page
Xander Holden Jul 2018
We throw away many things
if they are broken.
Old toys, mirrors, clothes

But we try to mend many things
we perceive to have value.
Baby blanket, foundation, phone

Where do I fit, sitting alone?
Should I be thrown away?
Lost, confused, unknown

Or is there some value in me
that I cannot see
that will push someone
to mend me.
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