Your friendship has been the hardest
for me to lose.
But it's because there was so much
more to lose.
And a year later, you're about the
same as them.

But comparing
now to then
I can see
how far
you've
fallen.

I hate that I still do anything
Because of you
But I do

At what point should I worry
When the exhaustion
Continues day
After day

The worst malaise this year
Skipping activities
Laying in bed
No appetite
Don't feel
Right

It's back
And I don't
Have the motivation
To move through it again

I am not a scarlet letter
I am a crimson red enemy
you are a lavender scent
a mint for my mind
a canvas for my ideas
a freedom wall to my masterpiece
I am not a deer in the headlights
I am the cats and dogs gameplay
That is what I am
*****, sit down and be humble
because even snakes listen to commands

I would say that I'm just treading water
But i enjoy swimming and this
Is so much worse

Im not going to pause my life
just to keep you in it

I've been watching our reruns on repeat
And it's not a comfort show anymore

Like the story was over and we shouldn't have been renewed for season four

I can make him a friend
And this isn't the end

It's a way forward for us
A way to maintain the trust
And the foundation and care
That has always been there

He's not the guy I fell in love with
But he's the best friend I've had
Even as I fought that feeling of
Being in a fairy tale or myth

It's a way forward for me
A way to forge my own path
To find my person at last
And still know him instead of flee