I am an aura
Ethereal hum
I am the stars
The beat of the drum
I am the wind
Freedoms embrace
I am the grin
A withered face
I am the field
Sky and sand
I am a shield
Protectors hand
I am the wing
Harboring warmth
Sounds of the sing
Bringing love forth
I am the moon
Eerie the beam
I am the soon
Later and maybe
I am the night
Absent of sun
I am the light
Two souls of one
See me?

Naomi, with eyes like an angry ocean.
Naomi of dark brown hair and paper white teeth.
Naomi, whose name her father says in vain,
is a girl who has many friends, runs along
with a broken sense of direction and a fake smile.
Lives in a rich padlocked, inherited excuse for a home, with less life than a cemetery, alone.
Wearing fancy shoes, combs her hair with a jeweled brush, and eats a tasteless breakfast, surrounded by the silence of the void,
and alcohol fueled ignorance.

Maybe I let her know
Maybe she cares
Maybe I let her go
Maybe I dare
Maybe she falls behind
Maybe I wait
Maybe she can't unwind
Maybe there's hate
Maybe underneath her intimidating exterior there is a silent nervousness
Maybe there is longing just beyond our reach
Maybe she is bound by pride, unwilling to believe that there is more, or...
...maybe I am wrong.

She is slim, fifteen and beautiful.  
Sharp blue eyes that miss nothing, and hold onto everything.
Dark blonde hair resting softly on the shoulders that bear the weight of the world around them.
We sit across from each other and reminisce.
As her eyes meet mine, they whisper some kind of plea, but I cannot hear.
What can I do but continue to smile? Continue to hold her soft hands in mine?
In a moment of strength, I attempt another word, and her fragile glass exterior shatters under the weight of the pain she had harbored all those years.
So falls her veil.
Her body heaves with sobs, and fear lines her incomprehensible sentences.
For one last, brief moment, our eyes meet again, and they are screaming at me, but I cannot hear.
She falls back into her chair, slumps to the left and onto the floor. She dies silently.
She is lying on white linoleum, and those beautiful eyes bleed tears.
The burdens fall from those weakened shoulders, and her penultimate sighs carry softly to my ears.
And she is beautiful.
A beautiful tragedy.
From the ground she arose, where the tranquil winds sought her for the ascension of life into another place, I know not where.
She died beautiful, and part of me died with her.

She drew the blade across
And witnessed the blood fall
She tipped the bottle back
And tried to end it all

She swallowed pride with pills
To drown out all the pain
She knew that she could die
She knew she was insane

With poison in her head
She thought of only this
The world is better off
If I do not exist

And with her final breath
She bade the world farewell
She closed her bloodshot eyes
And into death she fell

Her small and fragile form
Her pale and saddened face
She welcomed deaths one gift
It's dark and cold embrace

My valentine
Do you remember
When we were blind
So young and tender?
Softened by
The cold December
Our love so warm
Like dying embers

It was on that day that I saw
True love
Burning bright
Like a star
In the caliginous night
Rest softly upon the sand
Where I lay
Wondering
Of what could have been
Of what will be
And you spoke
And opened the eyes of my heart
Closed shut
So long ago
By the pain
That my mind harbored
It is because of you
That I am
Free
From my prison of emotions
It is because of you
That I am
Alive
So warm
In your infinite
Embrace
It is because of you
That I am
Alive

The love of my life
The wall for my back
A girl plagued by strife
Who couldn't react
In a healthy way
So she'd hold out her hand
Grip tightly the blade
Cut till she saw bands
Of red flowing down
and onto the floor
Her lips in a frown
She cut skin some more

We met on a beach
The waves splashing in
We talked and agreed
To meet there again

I saw her at school
With bruises on her cheek
Her dad was a fool
Their fights left her weak
I would always call
But she wouldn't respond
It wasn't 'till fall
I'd find out that she'd gone

And there dressed in black
Her family stood
She lay on her back
In a coffin of wood

On red velvet lining
They laid her to rest
And I was still crying
My face was a mess

I clearly recall
The last words she did say
"If I ever fall
You should catch me, okay?"

The distance fed the boredom grew
Our facades, I abhored them too
I crawled upon the floor for you
Not one hand out, I bore you two

Though humble and in pain I kept
Not even but a tear you wept
Though ever since the day you left
Not sounder have I slept...

...see in that heartbreak, there is truth
A heart did break, one heart not two
I brandish mine, untouched and new
For who could love a beast like you?

When it all comes down to anger
You can no longer hide your pain
When your voice is like a stranger
And it's driving you insane
When your happiness is thinning
Getting thinner every day
And your nightmares haunt your vision
Even when you are awake
When you've searched your mind for answers
But only see what you've been through
This depression is a cancer
And there's one thing you can do

(CHORUS)
Just lay down
Unleash those tears
Just lay down
Release those fears
Look back
At all those years
Lay back
The end is near

(VERSE TWO)
Never question if you're worth it
Never ask if you belong
Never wonder if your perfect
Never mattered all along
For every light there is a shadow
There's a crack in every wall
There's a **** in every meadow
There's no need to hold it all
Free your mind of all it's demons
It will help you in the end
We all wrote this for a reason
It's a lesson from a friend

(NEW CHORUS)
Smile now
From ear to ear
Try now
To reappear
It's fine now
The end is here
Just lay down
Your dreams are clear

It had been eleven years .
Eleven years since I last saw her.
Her constant incarcerations had me living with my grandmother for the first seven years of my existence.
I remember the nights, years ago, when she would wake me up late and talk with her favorite son.
I remember when she would steal money from us and disappear for months.
The yelling, the violence.
I remember it all.
I remember never having a father.
I know no names, no face, and I don't worry about it anyway.
My grandmother died, and my mother was not there.
Foster care pulled me into it's corrupt embrace, and for eleven years my life knew no stability.
Growing up with no parents, authority figures being those I lived with for a few days at a time.
I grew bitter, resentful, vindictive...
But a mother is a mother...
I saw her recently. I requested it. I put aside all hatred that had grown for her, and I wished to once more see the woman who had given to me the stain of life.
I looked back at the good times, however few there were.
I met with her, and she cried.
All she could say was "I love you"
Then she disappeared the next day.
She died later that month.
Her last words to me were "Oh, honey..."
Goodbye mother. I never got the chance to say that to you.
I hope that one day, I can love you too.

The warmth of her presence
The taste of her skin
A moment of pleasure
Inspired by sin
A goddess, an angel
From somewhere above
A feeling so pure
Yet we just call it "love"

Evade the bait
A sickness no doubt
Laying in wait
Don't know what it's about...?

Complain to the "Great" ?
Pay praise to the fake
Pray sayings in "his" grace

Play hymns at his feet
Listen when "he speaks"
Be coy and be meek
Tell me, what do you seek?

Tell me, what did "he" make
Other than hate
And it's wasted
On space in our minds
For the non-straight

This name you create
For an image of a place
With white marble gates

That doesn't exist on this plane

And it drives all insane

We make faces at fate
And laugh at destiny
A testimony that states
"Of the different, we're afraid"

So let's keep it normal
Let's keep it formal
Pretty white lace
And the white matching face

With a smile
That betrays the look in the eye
And that resents the knowledge
That nothing's alright

That something's awry

This "man"

He may or may not
Be deity true
My opinion is shot
And maybe it's you

That I target this time
With my question so strong
"This man in the sky...
...is he wright, is he wrong?"

No substantial proof
Ever points me to clues
But I have no idea
I don't walk in your shoes

So let's be real
Whether reality is heavenly
Or earthly

I don't really feel
Like it's too big a deal
I just hope that you heard me

And my message is this
Whether or not he exists
There's no reason for fits

It led us to fists
And eventually war
First fought with sticks
Then swords in the storm

And it's gotten much worse
And the hate festers still
And the void that we know
A "god" tries to fill

But let's be honest
The belief spread fast
And so did the plague
And so did the deaths
Of the wars in the past

So this brings me back
To the question at hand
"Will it last?"

So dark I've become
And so dismal are they
Now the place that they're from
Only barely remains

Only pockets survive
Yet they still dwell on greed
The only ones who will thrive
Satisfy their own needs

They forget to remember
What their unity did
And instead turn to embers
Of the fires within

In the dark there is light
But they've left it behind
Or they've lost all their sight
Because their hate left them blind

As my existence fades
And comes to a halt
My core will degrade
Light locked in a vault

I remember the times
As I hovered above
And remember the shine
Of a thing they called love

Always she shivered
Against induced winds
Always so bitter
Always so thin

Her hobby; a sliver
It stuck in her skin
But once it delivered
She let her head spin

She poisoned her grace
With the oceans of shame
Unwilling to face
The girl she became

She filled empty space
Was no longer sane
The road that she paced
Became her own bane

Her name was October
She had hazel eyes
Her expression was sober
But was it disguise?

Over and over
She took to the skies
Her habits controlled her
Led her to demise

Were my tears made of money
Would they catch your eye then?
Were my words made of silk
Would you listen to them?

If I took to the air
Would you notice my wings?
If I offered my voice
Would you wish that I sing?

If I lent you my hand
Would you notice the scars?
If I shone ever bright
Would you call me a star?

If I fell to the ground
Would you help me to stand?
If I told you I cared
Would you then understand?

Results have come back, in good news they lack
Paper held in trembling hands
She hasn't a clue, as to what she should do
Tears forming watery bands

The child wonders on, where her moms hair has gone
She accepts 'cause she isn't the wiser
The mom dries her tears, and puts aside fears
The results? Well they didn't surprise her

Her form ever frail, her soft skin is pale
Her sanity nearing derailment
Her child is fair, with wind in her hair
But the mother's the one with the ailment

She pushes the swing, her daughter she brings
Gentle movements like a dancer
Soon to be dead, hood over her head
Mother has terminal cancer

Every day that I cried
No one paid any heed
No one saw my tears dried
No one cared to my need

This abyss has me bled
Drier than desert sand
And my mouth is not fed
Nor do any lend hand

So imprisoned inside
In this sweltering heat
So much pain that I find
I am knocked from my feet

So to all a farewell
As I've already said
You can all burn in hell
'Cause this poet is dead

I get carried away sometimes
To a place I forsake one time
Rembering something alive
I ask myself how could it die?
I say that it's not my fault
Lies
Lies
I spread em to cover the fault
My
Demise
My veil won't cover the eyes
The drink won't smother the cries
I think of my love as a prize
But really though what is it worth
I really dont covet the hurt
And what does it mean to her?
And what does she think of me now?
And what does she think of me now?

Years to the back
No word back
I gave her my soul and she heard that
I've come to collect the return, stat
Or maybe I'm yearning to turn back
Or maybe I'm burning the whole act
Shake spears till I **** up the whole pact
The poetry can't bring a thing back
I'm over the camping on been-hads
It's what I tell myself when I'm this sad
I'm a shell of myself and
Why would she bother
No mother no father
I grew up alone but I guess I'll go farther
Distance yourself from the trauma
No one around me, that is my armour
I am alone but that is my karma

The end of hope I never sought
Beginnings of a darker thought
Twisting guts into a knot
It never mattered if I fought

Demon hands with withered claw
Altered lands, discarded law
Plagued by just another flaw
Cutting skin like axe and saw

Wrapped in deaths black flowing coat
Burning anything of note
Keeps insanity afloat
Words so chilling always wrote