She is the girl you walk past at the light
The one you watch grab her morning coffee
The girl who smiles and walks on

Nothing special
Nothing exciting
Just simple and average

Back in her hometown
She's a celebrity
That everyone wants to meet

Flagged down in the store
Taken pictures of as she drives
Everyone knows her and wishes her to know them

Glitz and glam
Flashes and videos
Nothin is private there

Yet when you see her walk by
You see her as quite
nothing like what the story's state

She's private and open at the same time
telling her story in pieces
with every small bit, she talks about

To one, shes a hero
To another, shes a villain
but to you

She's just average Jane walking by.

Broken wings
Golden wings that aren't hers
Time has been cruel
As seen by the scars on her body
The time in the Darkness
Rebirthed her in ways
But left memories that will never fade away

Love has been cruel
The demons playing tricks on her
The men demanding favors
Each taking a part of her away
or killing it slowly

"Will love ever come."
She asks everyday
"Or am I destined to live alone once again?"

"You're the worst
You're completely and underly uselessly
You're the definition of pain
You're the reason everyone leaves
You are so ugly
You will always be a last resort
You will never amount to anything
Your style is the reason you have no friends
You are such a looser
You are pathetic
You're insane
You are the reason people walk away
You will never get more than a participation award
You're the dumbest person I know
You have no talent
Your scars will always define you
You should just die already
You will not be missed
You are the bane of my existence


I HATE YOU AND I ALWAYS WILL!"








But as my mind found every flaw
I just smiled at myself
in the mirror

Her smile is intoxicating
Her personality contagious
Her mind
a lovely prison
Slowly they come
Men of all ages
All trying to win her hand
But soon, they become poisoned
From her love

So true
So pure
So deadly
Unable to control it
Shes watches them choke
And slowly die
from loving her

Alone she lives
Broken men surround her
Reminders of her curse
No matter what she tries
the poison seeps through
And kills everything
but her

you are human
Yet also a friend
a comrade
a protector
and my lover

My heart aches for your touch once more
the sweet words you whispered in my ear
when all I could see was a broken world
the Warmth of your arms as they wrapped around me

The security in knowing I was safe
safe in your arms
as our hearts beat as one

But fate is a cruel poker player
as just as quickly as I found you once again
I lost you

I lost you to simple human desires
as the wind took you far away

I still remember when we met once more
I had grown since our first encounter
I had scars you did not know off
and I had memories of people you despised

But you didn't age
you stayed the same
and got lost in the rush of the thrill

Fate made it clear that day
that this life was not to be with you

I made you this promise before that I still hold dear
No matter where
No matter when
I will always come back to you
My twin flame

burn bright
burn for me
and I will see you in the next lifetime

Why must this be so hard
Growing up I was intelligent
Have a amazing degree
But the closed doors remind me
My age is all that matters

Life kicked me down
My own mother pushes me further
Reminding me that
It is only the scars she sees

Talked aitha friend
Trying to distract myself
And get kicked again
Reminded that my past
Is what they see

I thought I got to shed those chains
Break free of the torment
Called depression and suicide

But I guess the chains grew thin and tight
Like wire around my skin
Will it be painful
When the wire cuts?
Or will it be cut with ease
As I draw a final breath?

I Should be mad
I should scream
I should run and never look back
I should cry and have tears run down my face
I should

but I don't
just sit here numb
unsure what to feel now

So little time it feels
Jump for the hills
run that extra mile
They all point and watch
giving direction
but leave you on your own

"We know the struggle
We know the pain
Tough it out
It will get better"

Can I finally have a break
in this chaos
called life?

You were a rock I didn't know I had
A ship that kept me afloat in the endless sea
And loosing you hurt like he'll

But the damage that was caused afterwards
The fighting and breaking
Only made the pain of missing you grow more

I miss your wisdom
I miss you taking me to play
I miss just spending time with you

People talk about the both of you
And say how I'm like you two
Business spitfire from hell
But a caring loyal creator

I only knew one of you
But I feel like I know the other pretty well
And seing your names covered in stone that day

Going back to the beginning of my problems
The start or a chain reaction
I relized how much I missed you

And even though I know your the one who saved me
That lonely night in December
I still wish you were here with us

Just so I could get to say goodbye grandma

You promise we can talk
You tell me tonight is the night
You swear it

and yet I wait by the phone
silent on my desk
no message
no call
no notification

Another night it's quite
when I hoped for noise
Hoped you hear your voice

We use to be so close
so what happened?
Why do you make empty promises?

Will it ever stop?
The sirens scream
The lights flash
And I think of you

A story I believed
A life I was wrapped up in
Gone over night

Too soon I fell
Too soon I trusted
Just to be left alone

Will it ever stop
Thinking of another
As the trucks go by

I work to passing out
I can't sleep due to my mind still working

I struggle to understand
how the pain has become normal

Trying to phantom
that our efforts are but just a passing wind

Trying to gather the courage
to find my place

because the more I work
The more I understand

the more
you push me away

and blame it
on a lack of funds

Please don't wish me good night
Please don't wake up and message
Please don't send me funny pictures in the middle of the day
Please, don't

No need for blurred lines
No need for pain
I've already done enough
To blame for this game

Please don't smile when you think of me
Please don't hope for more
Please don't whisper my name
When your at the store

Please
Just don't
It's best this way
Distance to restablish lines
We carelessly over looked

Don't cry for me
Or smile at my thought
Please for me
Just leave it alone

It's best this way
Despite what some might say
It's best this way
Despite the pain it causes

It would be so easy to give up
let the blade slide across my skin
watch the blood pour out
let my final breath leave my body

it would be so easy

but the aftermath
the pain
the damage my own actions would cause

it would be easy to give up
but I don't no mater how much I want to

I don't because of those who care about me
and the guilt I would feel
if I hurt them
like the world has hurt me

It would be so easy
but life isn't easy......

Time, a wary thing
Full of potential
Full of disappointment
Each second passes
Changes fate as it does

Would lives be different
if I went left, instead of right?

Your words so kind
Your actions so sweet
You made me feel
Something I forgot existed

Something so small
That I cherished so much
A touch I crave
Unknowingly desiring

With a cruel game
With a swift hidden blade
You stab and cut
Reminding me why

Why I don't let people come close
So trickster
Stop playing with my heart
Because I don't know if I can handle another shatter

This was suppose to be new
This was suppose to be good
This was suppose to be starting
This was suppose to be a break

Grey skies
the weight of the world
no more tears left
new scars created
death following us everywhere

WHY!!???
Why are you punishing me??



What did I do wrong this time?...........

I dreamed of him
I hoped for another
Yet you showed up

No warning
No indication
No care for others

But I do not wish to talk to him
I wish to talk to you
His toxic leach

You **** his life
And I know soon you will **** him
Showing how much you don't care

You cant let him out of your sight
You cant trust him when he is away
Because you know he will run

He ran once
And your claws dug deeper
Pulling him back under a sea of death

Last time I begged him to stand
Stand and fight
But how can the chained fight?

Not again
Straight to the source
One swift motion

Your asking for a battle
I ask for a War
To set him free

Though he does not lay with me
I still have a grasp
on a soft beating heart

You will never be me.
Despite your efforts
A demon will never be an angle

There is a clear difference between us
I did not have to show skin
To make his heart jump with hope

Enough games
Enough talking
Time to go to War

They once were small in numbers
Now they rise more and more

Simple like you and me
Deadly alone

They blend in so easily
Invisible at first glance

Shadows are where they lay
Hiding the blood on their fangs

Such a simple thing
Three little words
I trust you
I love you

But when something happens
The letters ed get added

I trusted you
I loved you

The knife those letter hold
Only make the pain worse
Now all I need
Is a upside-down u

To make it

End