Three little words
so small in breath
so simple in action
but the meaning

the meaning creates stories and kingdoms
or completely destroy's everything

At one point, I use to belive it
Have hope in others words
But life showed me they can not be trusted

I never expected to fall so fast
I never expected to fall so soon
I never expected to fall for you

Three little words
I love you
just three words

but once more
as I admitted it
I realized I was alone
alone with a broken heart once more

completely alone in my feelings
believing there was something more
then just two good friends

"You're so mature for your age"
I have to care for my parent and make sure she safe

"You're so responsible"
I have to make sure my parent eats before she gets sick

"Your hearing is amazing"
I listen carefully before walking into a room

"You are so happy to be around"
I don't want others to feel unwanted

"You have such good grades"
They yelled if I didn't do well enough

"Your parents must be rich if you have that much money"
I save the money they give me for lunch instead of eating

"how did you become such a good listener"
I had to listen to them vent about each other

"you always have the greatest ideas"
My ideas only mattered when there was no one else

"Your always up and there for me"
I stayed up listening to fighting and shouts

Now I am a adult trying to navigate life
But back then
I was just a kid

You expect everything to be fine
Talking like nothing has happened
Ignoring the main cause of silence

You never asked why
You never asked what happened
You never asked...

You expect me to be cheerful
You expect me to be happy
and hide my true emotions

"Be happy, Be squeaky"
Never once stopping to ask
why I have such tough skin

Its funny
how we can take something small
and make it huge

or take ones inncident
and make it our story
skewing to what we wish

oh simple life
so simple to pressure
one way or another

A light that was once gone
Now burned bright once again
Hope and dreams filled the flame
Each one hope for what could come
but soon, the hope stopped filing the fire
and the flame grew weak
smaller and smaller the light became
Until just the embers remain
Now a choice
light it once more
or let the love burn up?

To see your creation
get denied its life

oh the frustration
of not knowing will happen
of the uncertainty of tomorrow

Oh the terror
my body is in
but I remind myself

this is just another, no
so now
watch me as I do what I want

It shoots through the sky
Above whats suppose to be normal
Making me unable to focus

I sit
I wait
I shake

Each second passing
makes it rise
Victim and Preditor
once more together

How long
until the victim is freed?
How much torture is needed
to see my pain?

Its funny when I think about them
Two are in boxes
that I do not know when I will look at again

and there is a handful that I do not have
but I know every time someone's eyes lay on them
they will think of me

but it's ironic
a stuffed duck is simple to hide
but a pokemon who literally hides to feel wanted
is harder to hide

when its who you are
and you only realized it
late at night when your crying alone

I should be sleeping
I should be laying down
I should be comfy
I should be doing alot of nothing

Instead
As my body started to fade
Into the blissful sleep
I thought of you
I thought of me

I thought about us


Tears poured out my eyes
Sobs gasped from aching chest
Because for a split moment
I saw you
At the end of the aisle


But you weren't standing
As I walked to you
So peaceful you looked
So precious
It looked like you were just taking
A much needed nap

And in this thought that made me fear sleep
I saw you be lowered
And placing your hat upon the casket
Before carefully pouring the dirt
And wishing you a very

Very said goodbye

Rising high
Burning bright

Simple phrases
Simple lyrics

unknown the impact
that it will have

Simple songs
change into lifesavers
Classic melodies
create life

Messages through a screen
ripple through lives of the unknown

Simple star
Hidden among the rest

But burns just bright enough
to help someone find their flashlight

Once more
My life is nit picked
And I'm always in the wrong

Always doing bad
Never good
Expect when I'm away

Some say it's a miracle
That I can still find joy
But my joy is when I'm gone

But can I leave the other
To face the same prison sentence
That we escaped from before?

Is that fair
Or am I moving on
From my past???

Should you come to my door
Knock so sweetly
With ice on your fingertips

I would be obligated
To let you take my hand
And lead me away

Perhaps then I would understand
They sleepless nights I've been having
That haunt the days I live

My little demon
Look how much you've changed
You've finally started to grow

But your roots are buried in the past
Holding tight on memories
that are slowly fading

In your cold cave
you sit and cry
longing for a past that will never come

A past where you were loved
A past where you were happy
A past where you chased me away

Snappy demon
Angry demon
Resentful demon

All names for you
labels others gave you
but I didn't

My little demon
forever in my heart
no matter what you think

But the time for crying is over
Now you must walk
walk away from me

It's time to let me go
My little demon who haunts my dreams
I will never forget you

Take my teachings and learn to live
Stop being stuck in limbo
For your sake, please

let me go
so you can live

The feeling of being pulled
The feeling of being confused
The feeling of uncertainty

One plagues my mind
One plagues my heart
One plagues my soul

Each different
Two real
And one a distant memory

One day I will figure out
Where I am to go
But for now, I will not

I long for the day
when I look at my spouse and children
And wanting to pinch myself
because it feels like a dream

A dream that I rarely get now
A dream I hope for
A dream I realize
that is just a dream

I wake up by a million alarms
each one just makes me feel worse
Because I can't go back to my perfect dream

The dream where I am loved
The dream where I am safe
The dream where I can
have the happily ever after

that I will never have

It was a fluke we spoke
At least that is what you thought
But the outcome was never your choice to make

A chance I took weeks prior
A day I hold close
A day where I went back to the beginning of my pain

I spent a hour alone
Looking at the carved stone
And having you on my mind

Part of me wanted to jump in your car
And have another fling
Part of me wanted to run far far away

But I sat and ate
Counting down the hour I gave
And thinking

A secret I hold close
A secret I made
A secret I will take to my grave

I thought about telling you
But the pain of realization
Might have tainted your view of us

So I swallowed my fear
And walk with my demon in hand
Never to leave it again

But yet I was still kind
Letting your heart pour out like a river
Only too keep you away

Though my heart sang once for you
It no longer does
Just as a bird will not fly back into a cage

I hope you read this
Understand the meaning
Learn the mark you have left on my heart

A voice no longer I hear
A devil I no longer fear
A secret to the grave

Find peace
My little demon
And let the light shine once again

Unsure what to do
Unsure where to stand
Unsure of the steps to perform

A song and dance
Should be simple
but I haven't practiced like I should

and now it's time to preform
can I make it through
can I preform the way I should?

Oh time
why must you move so slowly when I don't need it
and fast when I do?
Why must the important seconds
be mere moments in life
and those I don't hold dear
are the ones you elongate all day?

Your words are sweet
The thoughts make my heart race
Your voice still echos in my mind

But yet when I look back
Reread our messages
Guilt sets in

Not because of you
But where the fire once burned
The empty sparks fizzle out

Maybe it's me
Maybe it's you
Maybe we're just not ment to be

I thought it was simple
I thought it was just missing someone
A connection that no longer exists
I thought I had grown use to it
I thought.....

But it's a new feeling
A new pain
A new gut stabbing twisting of the knife heartache
To feel utterly and completely alone
When next to someone
Who calls you a friend......

You were a house
You became a home
You were warm

Now your walls are baren
and the warmth chills to the bone
your still a house, but not a home

Laughter once echoed
Now covered by the shouts
overlooked in the frustration

The items left in the rush
are the ones I hold dear
the ones that shaped your warmth

All the items that made you cold
were moved first
leaving behind marks of the icicle claws

You were once a home
you were once warm
Now you're a house

a house full of horrors
that makes my skin crawl
and my body wishes to run from

What have I done
Have I really let myself go
Did I really loose my intentions

So swift
So simple
So pure in intent

But was this a mistake
Was it the right call
Does the pleasure over rule the social gaze

So simple
So sweet
So innocent

Was it a dream
Or a nightmare?

To pick up a brush
To pick up a book
To type away

All a struggle
All almost impossible
all so simple

Am I lazy
or am I tired of this life?

I found myself once again
In the unexpected of places

My mindset on trying to find the impossible
My heart singing only one tune

With a small spark of hope, I rushed closer
Praying I could find what I seek

But soon, my little flame was smothered
and I was broken-hearted once more

A kind stranger saw my struggle
They knew my pain

"A different tune perhaps,
could change your mind?"

Time ticked by slowly
my little candle slowly glowing again

A new melody sang from my heart
as I finally found what I had been missing

With my flame burning like a forest fire
I search for more of the same

Anything to replace the ache in my heart
That I had grown to love

My candle now almost burned out
I looked in the mirror once more

My reflection
My soul

Once more, it was out on display again
True and bright

I felt comfortable
I felt free

and I knew
I was looking at me.

Possibilities have started to show
The ideas I had dreamed of,
are slowly becoming reality

If I rush them
I will be left empty
But to wait is painful

Soon I must tell myself
soon everything will fall into place
and I will laugh of this stress

Empty
Gone
Dust in the wind

A husk of a body
With no soul left to live

Where is joy
Where is hope
When a desire
Is also a greatest fear

Hearts long
Brains clash
Could there ever be love
In the rough broken seas?

How can one love
The hollow of a person
Who use to be?

My little devil
The trickster who played me
In the end
You had to go

Not because of what you wished
Or want you claimed
But because of another
Who I can not blame

You and I wished the impossible
We wished for miracles to happen
And though the ending is bitter
The moment was still sweet

I will miss you
As I have years before
Life moves on
But I still morn your absence

Thank you for the sweet moment under the moon
Thank you for the time under the lights
Thank you for being a hand to hold
Thank you for being there with me

So in a bow and wave
I wish goodbye to the trickster you became
And long to see my devil once more

Perhaps if the stars ever aline
Or they gleam so bright
They might lead you back to me
Back into my arms

But for now, until you find my otherwise
Goodbye trickster
And please let me keep the devil in my heart

Looks would normally take this title
However
I find it else where

When alone
Surrounded by nature
Flowers blooming
Trees standing tall
Leaves russelling against one another

The soft breeze on my face
The warm sun on my back
A reminder of the unspoken words
That if you listen close
You still hear the words in the wind

The voices of those we miss
Reminders they are still here
No mater how much time has passed

To me
To be at peace
And with family and friends new and old
This is beauty
The hidden beauty most forgot now

Many tongues
Many authors
Many pens
Many inks
Many lives
Many stories
Many teachings
Many lessons

All over
one book

One simple book

My heart longs for you
My mind recalling the moments we shared
The sweet small kisses
the passionate touch your hands had

I shared a part of my soul with you
I gave you my world to hold
and cherish
I wanted you to keep it safe


But you dropped it
and it shattered against the floor

My world was shattered, and you ran away
leaving me to clean up the mess
you made

I do not resent you
I do not hate you
I do not wish you harm

I thank you
because I learned how to put my world back together
and I learned how to stand on my own

When I finally find the one
who will not drop my world
but instead, hold it close and keep it warm

I will tell him of you
and how you broke me
so I could be whole for him instead

I count down the days
the days where you're etched into my skin
the beauty you will be

Forever on my skin
Forever on my heart
Forever my wings of strength

Soon two become one
a perfect balance of both
a symbol of walking flesh

Soon you will take me
over the hills
and through the stars

Soon I will fly with you once more
and together
we will soar high above

just as we did the years before

West wind calls
It blows with a force
Each gust stronger than the last
Stopping just enough
To move an inch
Before being pushed back another five

The struggle to fight it
From pushing me over the edge
Off the cliff, I climbed
Is exhausting

Will West Wind ever stop,
So I may move back to where I started?