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Such a strange thing
Standing perfectly in Night and Light

Such a strange occurrence
on a porch at night

Seeing both the options of life
Enter in blinding light
or embrace the shadow of night?

The known
The seen
Bathed in comfort
Bathed in Light

The Unknown
Shadows hold their nightly ball
Night becomes Darkness

Ones own being torn in two
Embrace the known
or face the Unknown

where everything is challenged
but only in darkness
can the smallest lights
burn the brightest

and one finds comfort once more
in the company they hold
I read
I sculpt
I imagine

These wonderful creatures
Taking flight above me
giving me the freedom

to fly once more
"You doing ok?"

It was innocent
Came from a place of compassion
Empathy even
For the devastation thing called life

You call me a friend
Surprise I come when offered
Not knowing till later
No one else invites me for things

Despite the laughs
Despite the masterful smile I showed
You saw through it
Saw the pain in my eyes

The one thing I've begged for someone
Anyone
To do
And yet, I built that wall higher

The one of my own self isolation
The one where the past and present blur
The one, where no can hurt me if I'm alone

You were genuine
Kind
Caring in time of need
And I still lied to your face

What kind of friend am I
When I want to be safe place for everyone
And can't seem to let others do the same for me

Me, myself and I
The closest friends I have
What kind of monster have I become now?
But then
why do we pay the consequences
because I couldn't uphold a bargain?
Pinch here
spend there
everything way fine
until it all froze

I had budgeted
one more week
one more amount
that never came

Better job
Sell a house
All because
what I promised wasn't there

"Your lazy"
"Not good enough"
"Not trying"
but how can I try

when my government failed me
just because they want to yell at each other
instead of helping those
with a penny to our name
If I combined everything
Glued and cut
trimmed and designed

would anyone
care to read?

A collection hand picked
Sentimental beyond
Perhaps maybe then

I can afford to live
after all
Your name is on the tip of my mind
the touch I crave is you
I want you next to me

they ask how I am
I lie perfectly as I smile and tilt my head
but no one can hear how hoarse my voice is
from screaming words you'll never hear

no one is there as I turn dirt to dust
push the gas further down and increase the speed
empty dirt roads hold much more then just dirt

Why your back on my mind
is a mystery to me
but with that comes the depression once more

and the knowledge that despite how I love
despite how I try
no one could love me like you
or be better then you
A young love still pure, despite the time and hardships faced. One still loves the other, and the other doesn't care at all.
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