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Why do they come up
Why bring me back to the horror
Why make me remember
Why must these memories haunt me
only to leave me once more???
Simple words
effective meaning
such beauty
so easy

that would be a dream
type
speak
let loose all the words I believe
let them go
out into the world

for all to see
for all to love
for all to criticize
for all
to see me
Your voice against my ears
your scent once more filling my nose
The man you became
the strength you had
the kindness and wisdom for everyone
oh to see it once more
to experience it once more
Would be like seeing God in the flesh


funny how the mind of a shattered heart
thinks of the strangest things
that would fix it so easily

but there is only so much possible
in impossible
and sometimes
the life changing, heart mending thought
is that "im"
All the planning
makes my heart race
and the tears threaten to fall

but when asked if I wanted anyone with me
I thought of you holding me
letting me break once more
and know I would be safe enough to not be strong

"No, there isn't anyone to call"
Take the breath
lay down your head
despite the tears I shed
Just relax
Your going to be ok
in a place with no pain
And when you see me above
and you see the held back scream
do not feel bad
or try to comfort me
for even though I shed the tears
I know your not in pain
and that is most important
is you being free
once and for all
For the one who saved me from the darkest monster of all, myself. Its ok Soxs, you'll be ok.
If I called you once more
would you answer?

If I called you once more
would you hear the tears I struggled to hold back?

If I called you once more
would you give me the minute to accept the truth?

Would you let me be raw
for the first time in years?
would you listen to my walls crumbling?
would you
.
.
.
.
........would you still care?
I should feel more excited
and even though currently I am
I know it will not last

Once the night is over
reality sits back in
one more night of freedom
one more night to go out
one more night I can afford
not to worry, no doubt

"Live in the moment"
but how can one do that
when everything pulls me back
and nothing but one thing pulls me forward

From a past I miss
to a future I dream
can this excitement
really last
more then tonight?
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