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It would be simple

All this pent up frustration
All this uncertainty
All this self hate of not being good enough

Gone

Swift and simple
Maybe the sound lasts a moment
Maybe a minute
or a hour, or few

but it has been years
so silent that no one heard it

maybe if they could hear
then it would stop
and I could get my life back under me?

Just clarity
a peace
so much to ask?
It was right there
A sweet taste of happiness
I got my creative spark back
Finally able to complete projects
But I guess I burned too bright
To much for my candle to handle
The nightmare returned
The sleepless nights
My mind in reverse of everyone else

But so quickly is that spark of energy
Drowned by a secret heavy weight I carry

I just want to wish this all a dream
A dream
I can wake from...

I was getting better
I promise I was...
Its finally back
That spark I feel
when creativity sparks
Everything at my fingertips
My brain constantly thinking
I finally feel comfortable living
with my characters once more
The carvings come to life
And everyone praises me

And even though I have a brand new light bulb
Why do I feel
completely encased
in darkness
once more?
A new passion
A new concept
The lives once dulled
Now lift and fly off the pages

Creativity at my fingertips
and despite the fear of the unknown
I am genuinely content for now
So simple
So kind
No one would ever guess
the scars they carry

the lines
the patches
the gouges
all by the demons she grew up with

She was a dream come true
to everyone but her
so simple
so kind

no one expected
her to lash out
when the **** broke
Oh how everyone would love this
The smart slowly going insane
From the thoughts in my head
the ones I got used to drowning
Now scream at me

Will they stop
Can they stop???
I want to shout
To scream
To cry
I want the emotions
Everyone else feels
I want to reach out
Feel the regret
Watch my heart shatter
I want to feel something
Anything
PLEASE LET ME FEEL SOMETHING


Even if it's pain.....
At least then
I would know
I'm still alive........................
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