So strange

To lay so still
To be frozen under the sheets
Wondering how you feel

When the last time
Your were in a borrowed one
Was with another
And you were happy then

"Hey I'm in town, want to meet up"
                                                                                       "What are you after"
"Nothing"
                                                                                         "Don't lie to me"
"......."
                                                                                      "What do you want?"
"I want to feel again....."
                        "And I hurt you, like you said we never could mix right"
"But at least then I know I'm alive, even if it will hurt when I leave"
                                                    "You can easily do that talking with me"
"But what if I want something more"
                                                                                                  "Like what?"
"To know what love feels like again"
                                                                                                         "............"
                                                                                                               read

She believed that lie
that no one loved her but family
that everyone else was being nice
but didn't care

She believed that lie
when her boyfriend said "I love you"
for the first time
he was just being nice with her fragile heart

With a final breathe
she believed that lie
that no one cared
they were just being nice

But the line to view her
the silent screams
the aching hearts
and glass tears

those weren't a lie

They honored her like she was a hero
one who went to war over seas
when the battle she loss
was much closer to home

She believed the lie
when people said
"Oh you must have many friends"
"I don't have any friends, everyone is nice
but no one is my friend"

What if my heart was bruised
From being dropped so many times
By hands that forgot
It was fragile

What if my trust was broken
From those who took it for granted
And never listened
When I asked for understanding

What if my skin is scared
Not by purpose
But by accident instead
By something I can not control

What if my eyes do not see right
The uncertainty of the world
When vision fades
And all I can see is the darkness I think

Could you still love me
Or even let me be around
Even if friends
It would be nice not to be alone in this silence

I still look for you
despite the years it's been
beyond the time you last touched my skin
I still long for you

Looking for that spark we had in others
and coming up empty
because none will compare to you

I still miss you
and feel like I'm still crying in the rain
as you drove away

away from me
away from us
away from what could have been

so I hope
pray that one day you'll relise
that despite how you view yourself
that you are still loved

unconditionally
unchanged
everlasting

you still have my heart
and one day I hope we meet again
even if it is to see you one last time