It was a fluke we spoke
At least that is what you thought
But the outcome was never your choice to make

A chance I took weeks prior
A day I hold close
A day where I went back to the beginning of my pain

I spent a hour alone
Looking at the carved stone
And having you on my mind

Part of me wanted to jump in your car
And have another fling
Part of me wanted to run far far away

But I sat and ate
Counting down the hour I gave
And thinking

A secret I hold close
A secret I made
A secret I will take to my grave

I thought about telling you
But the pain of realization
Might have tainted your view of us

So I swallowed my fear
And walk with my demon in hand
Never to leave it again

But yet I was still kind
Letting your heart pour out like a river
Only too keep you away

Though my heart sang once for you
It no longer does
Just as a bird will not fly back into a cage

I hope you read this
Understand the meaning
Learn the mark you have left on my heart

A voice no longer I hear
A devil I no longer fear
A secret to the grave

Find peace
My little demon
And let the light shine once again

Your voice whispers in my ear
The memories we made fill my mind
The promises we made make me smile

But I stand alone
My heart was both soaring and breaking
A life that will never be

A promise to be different
A feeling I didn't know I missed
A life that I dream of

Tears shed for a name.
A voice
A person

I miss you more than ever.
And even though you'll never read this
I still love you...

Though my heart wants to scream a thousand words
My body wants to run from the thought of you
I still love you, Ghostie

You were a house
You became a home
You were warm

Now your walls are baren
and the warmth chills to the bone
your still a house, but not a home

Laughter once echoed
Now covered by the shouts
overlooked in the frustration

The items left in the rush
are the ones I hold dear
the ones that shaped your warmth

All the items that made you cold
were moved first
leaving behind marks of the icicle claws

You were once a home
you were once warm
Now you're a house

a house full of horrors
that makes my skin crawl
and my body wishes to run from

A fickle thing
Showing me
what I already knew

We were supposed to celebrate
We were supposed to have fun
I was supposed to let go

Instead, people avoided me
not giving me a second glance
because of how I look

I'm not short
I'm not thin
I'm not anyone's choice

But she was
able to move her hips
to catch their eyes

You can see she savors the looks
only fulling her view
despite being with another

They ask for her hand
Buy her drinks
never give me a second look

A hard truth I already knew
I'm not pretty despite being smart
and I'll never be the first choice

If I'm in the top 5
I'll be lucky perhaps
top 10 is more likely

One spoken to
when the first said no
and not thought about afterward

I will have no love
because who could love
a second thought girl?

Big room
Lights all around
Everyone's eyes on the stage

Cheers break out
for every name called
as they walk across

Unknown to all
some sit and watch
not feeling the excitement of the moment

Going through the motions
seems like a task
better left for tomorrow

Would it matter
if I graduated
tomorrow?

Despite you pushing me down
Kicking me when I was low
making me feel worthless

I still care

When you told me to get lost
When you ran from me
When you choose someone else

I still care

Through the pain
Through the tears
I still hold you in my heart

The husk of a man looking back
Once full of hope and dreams
now suffocate to barely living on a couch

Despite what you think
you are not a demon
but a hidden angle

One day I hope you learn this
And you finally hear what I ask
For you to be safe and happy

Even if your not with me.